Gta 5 money cheat code

GTA5Money

2016.01.24 13:03 EmmanuelTheGamer GTA5Money

GTA 5 Online legitimate service providing money inexpensively through GTA 5 modding on your account. If you want to purchase some good bucks, then this is the place to be. Through GTA 5 modding, you are able to receive cheap money for a incredibly low price. If you need money, this is the place to be.
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2020.01.10 23:57 NinjaWannabe123 Gta5MoneyGlitches

A place where we share, post and discuss GTA Online Money Glitches
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2009.10.18 22:55 fr3ddie Grand Theft Auto

Reddit’s Grand Theft Auto community
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2023.06.07 14:31 PresentationLivid822 My men thong obsession.

It started with me being curious about men thongs, "what would it feel like to wear one?" I wondered. So I've found on Amazon a 5 pack of best selling black men thongs. "Just these" I said, "I don't need more".
Well the men thongs were suprisingly comfortable, so I decided to buy 10 more thongs of the same brand and type, 5 dark blue and 5 dark green, "15 is more than I need, and these are 3 manly colors" I justified to myself.
Then I saw on Amazon some men's G-strings, smaller and sexier than the thongs, I had to try them. They had vivid colors like blue, red, green and yellow, "but it doesn't matter, no one's gonna see them". I like them so much I had to get them in every color: orange, purple, lime, teal, nude, and even, pink.
I was obsessed.
I started buying a lot more thongs and G strings, different cuts and different fabrics, in search for the best one. See through, mesh, elephant nose (those are fun to jerk off in, or do the "windmill"), I even bought jockstraps that reveal the whole butt, or see through / mesh boxer briefs to wear in my job (I'm a maintenance men, and sometimes I do plumbing work, and if you think that a plumber's butt crack is bad, than imagine a plumber's pink G string. But the mesh / see through boxer briefs are modest enough for people not to motice if they pop out). On days off I'm happy to wear my thongs / G strings, especially if I won't be meeting anyone, just to be safe.
Anyway I wasted a lot of money because in the end, the comfiest ones I have are the first thongs I've bought, Amazon's best selling men thongs. They are the least sexy out of all of them cause they cover a lot in the front, but this coverage gives my junk good support. No one knows about my collection cause I'm a lonely virgin. At least, I hope no one knows.
submitted by PresentationLivid822 to confessions [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:31 vpshailendra Why Choose Vouchers Portal For garmin discount code 2023?

Why Choose Vouchers Portal For garmin discount code 2023? submitted by vpshailendra to u/vpshailendra [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:30 Ok-Noise1616 $50 Bonus CSL Plasma New Donor Referral Code: OULED5SBLS - Use the referral code when you sign up at ANY CSL Plasma location or on the App prior to your first donation and receive a $50 bonus automatically!! This unique code is 100% Valid for June 2023 - Happy donating everyone 🩸

$50 Bonus CSL Plasma New Donor Referral Code: OULED5SBLS - Use the referral code when you sign up at ANY CSL Plasma location or on the App prior to your first donation and receive a $50 bonus automatically!! This unique code is 100% Valid for June 2023 - Happy donating everyone 🩸 submitted by Ok-Noise1616 to ValidReferralCodes [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:29 dr_topramin Chase Sapphire Preferred 60k points + $60

Hi all, I have 5 CSP referral codes to give. The card promo is 60k points after $4k spend in the first 3 months. I will Venmo or PayPal you $60 on top of the promo if your card is approved. DM me for the link. Will pay once the bonus posts
submitted by dr_topramin to referralcodes [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:29 Beautiful_March_1321 Pursue UX Design or should I look for something else? 😓creative introvert

😩Hi everyone, I’m so sorry I’m going to vent/rant for a minute. I like UX Design(User Experience design) the creative aspect( I know its not all as creative as people make it out to be from other forums lol.) being able to help users find out what they need in an app, interviewing user and just listening to them. However, as an introvert constantly having to “sale” my designs to stakeholders, do “Presentations” and other aspects that make introverts cringe seem a little overwhelming to me. I’m on Course 5 of the Google Coursera . I want to take a Bootcamp so I could really learn more and have a mentors so that I could actually get feedback from someone in the field but I don't want to spend $7,000 or more on a boot camp if I'm still now sure. I like UX but to be honest I felt I had to really push myself to get through the course. Honestly I should have already finished it since I'm unemployed but I keep letting fear and doubt get in the way. I don't know if UX gives me the spark/ zest I would want and I really want to. I do like creating apps in Figma and receiving feedback from participants to better the app. Also I do feel like some of my doubts in myself come from just taking the course and not really doing the outside work like reading UX books watching YT Tutorials etc.
As a 30yr old I'm lost and won't find a career that I at least like/love. I don't want to dread doing my job I have always had that fear. I know the money is Good in UX at the least enough to live comfortably, but I don’t won’t to be in a certain field solely for the money . I want to be able to move out and be capable of taking care of myself. However, I’m not sure if I should push through my fears and insecurities to do UX and just find my passions/hobbies outside of work and just look at it as “just a means to pay bills” or find something else. Also UX’ers did you like/love it right away or did you grow to like / love it?
I was considering Web and Brand design (Freelance or start my own business) Digital Marketing or something else creative that offer “financial security”. Any help or. Advice from the UX Community or anyone who just wants to offer advice would be greatly appreciated. 😊 Thank you in advance.
submitted by Beautiful_March_1321 to careerguidance [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:28 Unicornnn000 📢 Looking for respondents for our research project!

📢 Looking for respondents for our research project!
LF: Tonik bank users
Good day!
We are 4th year students taking up Bachelor of Science in Management Accounting at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines - Manila and currently conducting a quantitative research as one of the requirements in Accounting Research Methods entitled, “The Financial Literacy on the Use of Electronic Banking of Tonik Digital Bank Users in Mega Manila.”
Qualifications: 1.) Filipino resident residing within Mega Manila (Metro Manila, Central Luzon, MIMAROPA, and CALABARZON) 2.) An ACTIVE TONIK BANK USER
We humbly ask for 5-10 minutes of your time to participate in answering our survey questionnaire by scanning the QR code or through this link:
🔗https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc2GzMg0M-qnt3_lbTKZxKsapuZbBp-U9PrzIIfrFIPZnt41Q/viewform?fbclid=IwAR2cF1610jb-U8wlym7p7mkaQxDMxcdarSJRVNeWdUV20J3Xju-YxtSjZ4g
Moreover, following the 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐚 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐜𝐲 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟐, we assure you that your answers will be kept confidential and will only be used in the study and will not be identified in any public report or data.
Submitting your response in this Google Form indicates your consent to take part in this study.
Should there be any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to send us an email: [email protected]
Thank you and God bless!
submitted by Unicornnn000 to SintangPaaralan [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:27 jhnbsomerscz4gm Does anyone have SteelSeries promo codes?

Here is the SteelSeries Promo Code
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submitted by jhnbsomerscz4gm to BestPromoCode [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:26 randomshitposter007 Conversion happening is day broad light!! Isn't this Money Jihad! We must Stop this Conversion!!

Conversion happening is day broad light!! Isn't this Money Jihad! We must Stop this Conversion!! submitted by randomshitposter007 to unitedstatesofindia [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:26 thenRefer60 Floppa.Top - Presale Automatic distribution Airdrops and more SAFU

$FLOPPA or $FLOP token is a meme-coin created on the ETH blockchain, no taxes, contract ownership will be renounced. The first opportunity to buy will be on GemPad, it will be a presale, then soon DEX and CEX listings. Unsold tokens on GemPad will burned automatically. Project team verified by CryptoHub (KYC), contract verified, full Audit by CyberScope. Fully SAFU meme-coin for the community of project.
Presale will start on June 9, 17:00 UTC, on GamePad (There's a countdown)
- Rates. For 1 ETH you get 1,100,000,000,000 $FLOP on GemPad Presale (0.25% of supply).
Worth of your $FLOP always >=buying price on GemPad (Presale). The buy price of $FLOP on presale on GemPad is fixed for everyone, this is a huge advantage for those who don’t want to lose money, unlike buying on DEX where the rate is constantly changing. Meaning that your $FLOP will always be worth more than or equal to the price you bought it on GemPad
- SAFU. Verified (KYC) Team of Project & Audit by CyberScope. Presale mechanism on GemPad, all funds will be sent automatically to DEX liquidity pools after the presale ends and contract will be renounced, you can check the «Special Sale Address» created by GemPad
- Airdrop and many other bonuses. All participating in presale on GemPad will automatically get a Whitelist. Whitelist gives right to participate in Airdrop, also get right to mint NFT in phase 3 of the project, and other bonuses coming soon…(Prize pool for all of this is over 100 ETH)
- Tokenomics. 420,690,000,000,000 Total Supply - 60% Presale - 30% Liquidity Pool - 5% CEX listings (Unsold tokens on GemPad (Presale) will burned automatically)
️All announcements and information only on Telegram and Twitter, and Website - Join
Useful Links: https://linktr.ee/floppa.top
submitted by thenRefer60 to gpumining [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:25 anagogicrattrap Floppa.Top - Presale Automatic distribution Airdrops and more SAFU

$FLOPPA or $FLOP token is a meme-coin created on the ETH blockchain, no taxes, contract ownership will be renounced. The first opportunity to buy will be on GemPad, it will be a presale, then soon DEX and CEX listings. Unsold tokens on GemPad will burned automatically. Project team verified by CryptoHub (KYC), contract verified, full Audit by CyberScope. Fully SAFU meme-coin for the community of project. Presale will start on June 9, 17:00 UTC, on GamePad (There's a countdown) - Rates. For 1 ETH you get 1,100,000,000,000 $FLOP on GemPad Presale (0.25% of supply). Worth of your $FLOP always >=buying price on GemPad (Presale). The buy price of $FLOP on presale on GemPad is fixed for everyone, this is a huge advantage for those who don’t want to lose money, unlike buying on DEX where the rate is constantly changing. Meaning that your $FLOP will always be worth more than or equal to the price you bought it on GemPad - SAFU. Verified (KYC) Team of Project & Audit by CyberScope. Presale mechanism on GemPad, all funds will be sent automatically to DEX liquidity pools after the presale ends and contract will be renounced, you can check the «Special Sale Address» created by GemPad - Airdrop and many other bonuses. All participating in presale on GemPad will automatically get a Whitelist. Whitelist gives right to participate in Airdrop, also get right to mint NFT in phase 3 of the project, and other bonuses coming soon…(Prize pool for all of this is over 100 ETH) - Tokenomics. 420,690,000,000,000 Total Supply - 60% Presale - 30% Liquidity Pool - 5% CEX listings (Unsold tokens on GemPad (Presale) will burned automatically) ️All announcements and information only on Telegram and Twitter, and Website - Join Useful Links: https://linktr.ee/floppa.top
submitted by anagogicrattrap to business [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:24 mantaskleiva Need some advice.

TL;Dr To start off I am not the best person at writing so I apologize for any errors.
I have been married for almost 4 years to the woman who I am still head over heels for. (We married just a few months before the start of the pandemic) This little detail has really affected our marriage as being newlyweds struggling during this time was very difficult on our marriage.
My wife struggled with the pandemic very much as she is a nurse, she had changed over to school nursing just prior to the pandemic and it made her life very challenging as that was an aspect not many people thought of during this time. She has gone through a huge patch of depression, I on the other hand have felt like I’ve been depressed since I can remember. During these past few years in our relationship we have struggled a bit in terms of finances and other disagreements. My wife has always made it quite clear that I haven’t live up to her expectations and she has always hung divorce up in the air since the beginning of our marriage. I have always tried to be better and true fyi do little things to keep her happy even if the involved my mental health suffering. During this time of the pandemic I seemed mental health help, which was going well. Until she changed jobs and we lost our health insurance. During this career change my wife found the job she took on was not for her and she quit without much of a plan. She quit and spent a few months living off of her retirement fund. This time was incredibly difficult for me as I was the one working and making sure we were staying afloat. This point in time was when we also moved into a house, this is where I began to really feel the stress of life. As money started to become a bigger issue, I also began to spiral in terms of my mental health. I had asked my wife to seek help with her mental health or go to couples therapy with me. But to no avail I kind of gave up and figured happy wife happy life. Now after over a year of that conversation my wife is finally seeking help for her mental health and I am the root cause of the problem for these stressors. My wife thinks I am hiding cheating on her or something of that nature. Truthfully the only thing I am hiding from her is how badly our finances are on my end. She has given me an ultimatum. That either I make her happy and not questions things by November or she is leaving me, as that is when our lease is up. What do I do Reddit? I don’t want to lose the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. But I’m so stressed I am not sure what to feel or do. I’ve started therapy yesterday and have a couples session booked, but my wife stated she will not be doing anything during this session as I need to figure it out and fix it on my end.
submitted by mantaskleiva to marriageadvice [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:24 Pure-Picture6480 I really need help

Hello , Im 18 years old its been 2 years my mother got in some debts, i dont have a father or anyone left ,my mom got my fathers job its been 1 year we have paid more than 11lakh debts by selling everything our house and we got some loans and paid everyone which taking whole out salary we dont even have enough money left at the end of month to eat anything and now some guys are claiming moneys blackmailed us threating my mom knife stabbing or acid throwing i don't have anyone left expect my mom and i dont wanna loose her she is literally in huge pressure and we dont have any option to end our lives please if anyone can help us we need at least 5 lakh + to get out of this mess and live a normal life again i know it's too much asking but i lost every hope today I don't know what to do if anything happens so a last try… if i can save my mom . thank you for atleast reading my condition
submitted by Pure-Picture6480 to moneyhelping [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:23 nickr718 I Played: Lonely Survivor

My tasks (still active offer on SB) were:
- Reach Chapter 3 - earn 30 SB - Purchase Any $9.99 Package - earn 1,000 SB -Reach Chapter 7 - earn 70 SB - Purchase Any $19.99 Package - earn 2,000 SB - Reach Chapter 18 - earn 300 SB - Get Any 4 Heroes - earn 4,000 SB - Get Any 5 Heroes - earn 8,000 SB
Truly a very fun game. I'm unsure exactly how much time I spent on it, but it didn't feel like a ton. I mostly played after my wife went to sleep for a few hours. I downloaded the game on 5/29 and was finished by 6/5. They give you thirty days which, IMO, is more than plenty of time.
When I started, an event called Absolute Order had a leveling reward with three tiers (free, 9.99, and 19.99), it seemed like a beginner event for new players. I think you could have mostly gotten a character from the prizes in the 9.99 tier, but I didn't notice until the event was ending for me. However, you do straight up get a free character from finishing the list on the 19.99 offer (Flavi). I used SB to get a $50 Apple GC for any offers on this game since they are 1-1 on the payouts. I bought the 19.99 tier for Flavi and had 2000 SB pending almost immediately. You start with Ruby, so that brought me to 2 characters without a ton of work. You can get Jack pretty easily through events and offers. There seems to always be a weekly event where new objectives pop up each day of the week along with new offers, some real money, and some IGC (Diamonds). I got Jack for, I think, 2000 diamonds in the offers tab of that event. My 4th character was Boney, which you get for free from reaching level 7.
I could have gotten my last character faster, had I paid attention to the shops and progression rewards for the different game modes. Lu Bu was available in the Labyrinth Battle Pass, which was $24.99. Since the payout for getting 5 characters was 8000SB, I went ahead and bit the bullet and bought the Battle Pass. You can purchase/earn "Explorers" to progress through the Labyrinths relatively quickly. You can buy 24 per day for 300 diamonds and earn 20 from watching ads. I got through the Hard level and raided Hard until I progresses enough for Lu Bu, which took 3 or 4 days. You only progress in Labyrinth Battle Pass for completing battles in the Labyrinth, so the passive levels don't count.
There are always revolving character shards for sale in the normal store, but I didn't think it was consistent enough to be able to get the 50 shards needed for one character.
When I finished, I was on Chapter 20 Normal, Chapter 5 Hard, and Character Level 25. I rarely continue to play games that I do off on SB after I am finished with the offers, but this one is almost one I would keep playing. I really enjoyed the variety of gameplay with the abilities you get in the chapters. You could probably finish this offer by spending 19.99, get it paid back to you, and still earn 4400 SB after getting reimbursed for the 19.99 offer, or you could spend the 24.99 on the battle pass and earn 12400 SB after the 19.99 if you do it how I did it. In other words, I think this game is very profitable and easy to progress.
I'd probably say this one is a 9.5/10. If you have any other questions, feel free to drop the below. I try to respond as quickly as I can.

P.S. I found that ST Domain, Lightning Balls, and the Volcano abilities are super helpful for mobs by try to get one or two, like meteorites, that aren't proximity abilities for the chieftains so you can keep your distance.
submitted by nickr718 to SwagBucks [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:21 r3crac Convoy S2+ SST20 Flashlight for 13.50 USD with coupon (Best price in history: 12.5 USD) [Country limited!]

Here is the link: Convoy S2+ SST20 Flashlight
Coupon code (apply in the cart!): BG6MEGA17
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Notes (coupon may work only in selected countries): Poland
Visit CouponsFromChina if you want e-mail PRICE ALERTS (or maybe coupon doesn't work and you want current coupons)? Just go here: https://couponsfromchina.com/convoy-s2-sst20-flashlight-2/
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Pretty good deal with big price discount.
https://couponsfromchina.com/
submitted by r3crac to flashlight_deals [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:20 r3crac Convoy S2+ SST20 Flashlight for 13.50 USD with coupon (Best price in history: 12.5 USD) [Country limited!]

Here is the link: Convoy S2+ SST20 Flashlight
Coupon code (apply in the cart!): BG6MEGA17
Current price is 13.50 USD. The lowest price in my database is 12.5 USD. There're already 6 records in DB. Price monitoring since 15.2.2019!
Notes (coupon may work only in selected countries): Poland
Visit CouponsFromChina if you want e-mail PRICE ALERTS (or maybe coupon doesn't work and you want current coupons)? Just go here: https://couponsfromchina.com/convoy-s2-sst20-flashlight-2/
Enjoy
Pretty good deal with big price discount.
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submitted by r3crac to couponsfromchina [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:20 jhnbsomerscz4gm How can I find discounts and coupons for Banana Republic products?

Discover the Banana Republic Promo Code
Discover the secret to saving money on Banana Republic products. Our exclusive coupon codes will help you enjoy unbeatable discounts and amazing deals. Say goodbye to paying full price and unlock incredible savings with Banana Republic promo codes. Visit this page now to access the latest Banana Republic Promo Codes & Deals.
submitted by jhnbsomerscz4gm to BestPromoCode [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:20 Unicornnn000 📢 Looking for respondents for our research project!

📢 Looking for respondents for our research project!
LF: Tonik bank users
Good day!
We are 4th Year students taking up Bachelor of Science in Management Accounting at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines - Manila and currently conducting a quantitative research as one of the requirements in Accounting Research Methods entitled, “The Financial Literacy on the Use of Electronic Banking of Tonik Digital Bank Users in Mega Manila.”
Qualifications: 1.) Filipino resident residing within Mega Manila (Metro Manila, Central Luzon, MIMAROPA, and CALABARZON) 2.) An ACTIVE TONIK BANK USER
We humbly ask for 5-10 minutes of your time to participate in answering our survey questionnaire by scanning the QR code or through this link:
🔗https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc2GzMg0M-qnt3_lbTKZxKsapuZbBp-U9PrzIIfrFIPZnt41Q/viewform?fbclid=IwAR2cF1610jb-U8wlym7p7mkaQxDMxcdarSJRVNeWdUV20J3Xju-YxtSjZ4g
Moreover, following the 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐚 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐜𝐲 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟐, we assure you that your answers will be kept confidential and will only be used in the study and will not be identified in any public report or data.
Submitting your response in this Google Form indicates your consent to take part in this study.
Should there be any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to send us an email: [email protected]
Thank you and God bless!
submitted by Unicornnn000 to PUPians [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:20 Suspicious_Cook_9398 📣DRDRAY + ITSVEE14 = Up to 15% OFF orders over $49 (COUPON CODES: DRDRAY for 10% off & Rewards Code: ITSVEE14, 2.2-5.5% OFF

📣DRDRAY + ITSVEE14 = Up to 15% OFF orders over $49 (COUPON CODES: DRDRAY for 10% off & Rewards Code: ITSVEE14, 2.2-5.5% OFF submitted by Suspicious_Cook_9398 to YesstyleReferralCode [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:20 Pure-Picture6480 Help

Hello , Im 18 years old its been 2 years my mother got in some debts, i dont have a father or anyone left ,my mom got my fathers job its been 1 year we have paid more than 11lakh debts by selling everything our house and we got some loans and paid everyone which taking whole out salary we dont even have enough money left at the end of month to eat anything and now some guys are claiming moneys blackmailed us threating my mom knife stabbing or acid throwing i don't have anyone left expect my mom and i dont wanna loose her she is literally in huge pressure and we dont have any option to end our lives please if anyone can help us we need at least 5 lakh + to get out of this mess and live a normal life again i know it's too much asking but i lost every hope today I don't know what to do if anything happens so a last try… if i can save my mom . thank you for atleast reading my condition
submitted by Pure-Picture6480 to depression [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:20 BabyHannahnotababy19 New Scam/ Hacked Dasher Direct

Y’all I finally got scammed and it’s crazy, (855) 431-0459 called me and it came up as “DoorDash”, when I asked they said they needed to cancel my current order which was for Jayden and even mentioned the name. However, after cancelling they said they sent a code to my # and to repeat it, I did that 2x. Following that a # was sent to my email 2x and I had to confirm it. Afterwards they said I would get a $100 bonus because of the amount of orders I have completed. Just be careful y’all cuz I totally thought it was legit until they asked me 4x to confirm the number and I have never done that. They got into my account, changed the number and hooked my dasher direct card up to Apple Pay and it has been such a hassle trying to get this money back from DoorDash. I’m currently on Day 5 and I have no response on when I will get the money back, despite having made supposedly three claims.
submitted by BabyHannahnotababy19 to doordash_drivers [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:19 Ideal_One Everyone Welcome! Discover Visible Wireless! Join Visible, Use My Friend Code 3pqcp7 and Get $20 Off Your First Month! So You’re Invited, Discover and Try Visible Wireless! Watch You Will Save Money! Let’s Get You Started! Join Visible, Get $20 Off Your First Month!

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submitted by Ideal_One to visiblereferralcodes [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 14:19 silkylychee I (22F) 'attached' myself with my partner (22M) after I try to do harmful thing on his birthday.

Hello! I reposted this story because the title I posted before contained Moral Judgement. I also do cross checking on the grammar and added some part of how i feel recently.
If this post by any chance triggering or maybe uncomfortable to read, please do just scroll. [ English isn't my first language, i will try my best to elaborate it ]
So, I (22) and my bf (22) are currently in a complicated situation about our relationship. We started dating a year ago (April). He confessed to me that he likes me, after 3 years I've been secretly having a crush on him. So this relationship started with me being his secret admirer and finally got noticed.
We were a happy go lucky couple before it started. But since the beginning, I have been an 'edgy' person. Maybe, I still am. I realize that I have a very bad mental condition and bad coping mechanism. It happened because of some past events that affect me this much. I put some part of it here [it will be relevant] — In 2014 (i was 13 back then), i get many traumatic events. - I was getting s3xu4l 455ault (r4p3 attempt, groping, touching, and many nasty things without my consent), and manipulating me to trust that it’s ‘okay’ to do that. The perpetrator also terrorizes me and often goes to my home. This sexual assault making me lose my virginity. Losing virginity means that you are no longer worthy and it is a symbol of impurity. I have no control over it nor a consent since I didn't properly get information about consent and sex edu.
But all of the events are repressed. So I have a bad coping mechanism. I am very secretive to that information because I'm afraid people will no longer accept me as who I am. Those events also take a toll on me. I have very bad self esteem, high insecurity, and often feel lonely because I'd rather cut every friend I have so they don't have to know me, unworthy, and showing signs of depression. — My bf and I are friends at college, we were in the same field of study and classes. I had a crush on him for a whole 3 years, and suddenly he confessed that he has feelings for me and we were dating. At first, we were happy. We were connected to every opinion we have, hobbies, likes and dislikes, even imaginary things. We clicked on many things and it was fun. At first, I was afraid to tell him that I'm not a virgin. But he is very reassuring. So I told him anyway, and he seemed to accept it. But I have a very low insecurity, low self esteem, etc. So I often disbelieve him, and at some point I often get too obsessive with him and scared that he will leave.
On his birthday, i was going to his apartment to celebrate it. But i was unemployed, and broke. So i feel guilty not preparing anything for him. I just create a Carrd (website) and some cheesy text. But my feeling that day is off. I feel sad, anxious, and very guilty that I don't have anything to give to him. At first, it was all good because i know i can spending time with him. But, I feel lonely.
We have this agreement that it is okay for us to just chill, stay silent, and just enjoy each other's company. But that night I felt so miserable and I just wanted him to spend time with me. But he's watching Youtube Shorts in the room while I feel lonely in the living room.
And then my thoughts are telling me that I'm not worthy, he's not even bat an eye even when I am with him right now, do i really need to be here? It's better if he's celebrating his birthday with family.
So I storm into the room while being sulky, but he still watches Youtube Shorts. I was mad, I told him that he should just celebrate his birthday with his family. For a proper celebration.
I almost text my friend to judge if my feeling is caused by myself or him.
And then finally I got his attention, but he burst into tears. He's saying that I was being unfair to him, to be judged by my friend (that will eventually be biased), to say that he should celebrate the birthday with his family (because he told his family that he's celebrating with the bois). He then curled up and refused to be touched.
But I feel like it was also unfair that I was the one who came to him but he isn't even attentive to me. It takes my money and hours to get to him (we live in a different city). So, there were destructive thoughts. It feels suffocating that when I open up my feelings, I also get blamed.
It feels suffocating and I have the urge to rush into the balcony to get some air. Maybe at some part of my brain, telling me to just suicide. But, I really feel suffocated.
I ran to the balcony, he chased me, and yelled 'what are you doing?'
and i just answer with 'i should've just die'
We argued, and then he slapped me. It's not a hard slap, but it sure brings back those bad memories about my father.
I was scared that eventually he would treat me like my father did to me. And I was screaming and crying.
So much happened that night, and I regret it every single day. — On our anniversary, I was giving him a book that contains a mini comic about us, and google drive filled with our photos and notes about my point of view about him. There’s this one Gdocs that I created including thoughts about what happened on that night. But I missed many parts of the story because I was typing it 2 hours before I went to meet him.
But suddenly it became a fuel fight. He mentioned that I didn't remember the important part of the story, and it hurts him so much that I choose not to remember that. He said that I chose to remember the better version of that night, but he was suffers to how he remember it completely.
He told me that it was pure gaslight that I did the whole night, and how I don't remember it was a cruel thing to do.
He also told me that he couldn’t forgive me. — I didn't forget any of it. Even the whole thing that happened to me nearly 10 years ago is still intact perfectly in my memory, and it was also unfair that I created a whole book for him but he just sees the bad parts of the things i created.
I missed many parts of the story because I was rushed. And I try to dig every single piece of my mind to create another GDocs so I'm not missing any part again. — It's been 5 months since then, and I try my best to fix myself so I don't do any destructive behavior again. I've been go to therapy, try self love and forgiving myself, and many things so i don't ever relapsed again.
I promised myself not to suicide again because now i know how it affects other people. But, I think he feels burdened by being with me. He often suddenly turns cold, not showing me affection, and not even saying ‘i love you’. It’s cheesy, but sometimes I need that too. — We, no, He actually did try to break up with me at least for the third time. But, I still have these positive thoughts about “we can fix this, give me another chance, we will be okay”. So he gave me the last chance. He also told me that I was toxic to be attached to him like that, that I was lucky it was him that I cling onto. But, actually it makes me scared that I was not worthy to feel being in love again. While I've been good and try to forgive myself for my past trauma, this current event is actually crushing my mind. — I've buried this story in my mind because I don't have anyone to talk to. I was scared to talk about this to my family/friends/even someone that knows one of us because he said it before it was unfair for other people to judge. So I'm just scared it will be biased and will put him on the bad side.

Also, I'm doing counseling with a psychologist but it was solely on my past traumatic events.

So, any advice on this relationship situation?
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