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Would any Muslim men be willing to marry a pregnant woman, who is in the process of getting her marriage annulled?
I am asking here cause for some reason none of my posts ever get approved on Muslim marriage.
So the story is I got conned into marrying a dishonest Palestinian man who attempted to use me for a greencard and abandoned me and the fetus a month into marriage, the moment he heard I was pregnant. There’s a lot more to it, of which is traumatic to explain but I’m willing to open up if that gives closure and provides answers to anyone.
The donor as I like to say does not have a say in my life and will not be a part of this child’s life because of his despicable and unforgivable actions. I plan to give the baby my own last name. Ideally the marriage will be annulled right before the due date, too
The only reason I’m asking is because my family and friends tell me that no one would want to be with a Muslim who is already pregnant with another person’s seed, and no one would want to father a newborn who isn’t his biological child. Oh and friends tell me “he had all the ‘fun’ (well it wasn’t fun for me but okay) and no other man would want to do the hard work he left behind. Oh and some siblings tell me “maybe when the child is older and established, maybe just maybe a divorced man with his own kids might want to marry you, but good luck finding anyone who will want you while pregnant.”
I need to know if that’s true, will my chances finding a Muslim husband be next to impossible now that I’m pregnant? Also I’m a first time pregnant woman who is 28 with a college degree, but poor social skills and have difficulty finding a job. I part time work at a school but it’s not enough to support myself. I also don’t believe in abortion. I am ok with the fact that I may have to become a single mother for the rest of my life, I believe am strong enough to handle it, because if my father could be a single man raising 4 kids I can probably just motivate myself to be as strong as him, and if he can do it, I believe I can too since we are the same blood and I guess I get my strength from him. But still it can be lonely so, those are my concerns. Sorry for seeming entitled or anything, I’m expecting a lot of downvotes

My girlfriend and I have been dating since the beginning of this year. She has a lot of insecurities, and as time goes on I see her slowly slipping out of those insecurities which makes me very happy. This is someone I fully intend on spending the rest of my life with. The one thing that hasn’t seemed to make any kind of improvement though is her feelings about my female best friend.
I’ve been friends with this person since I was 12. We have been in and out of friend groups together, seen each other go in and out of romantic relationships, and have stuck by each other’s side the entire time. We’ve never dated, never had any kind of romantic connection ever throughout all of these past 13 years. She’s someone I hold very close to my heart, but in very much the same way I would a family member. It’s worth noting that my best friend is also in a committed relationship and has been for over a year now. A bit of extra context, I live 45 minutes away from my best friend and I hang out with her and her boyfriend once every few weeks when we have free time. My girlfriend, on the other hand, lives on the other side of the country. I am east coast, she’s west. We have plans to meet in August, but have not yet met in person.
Back in March, I introduced the two for the first time. I was out with my best friend and called my girlfriend on the phone, and had the three of us talk over the phone for about five minutes. It seemed to go really well, and afterwards my best friend added her on instagram and the two of them began communicating there. They talked for a bit over the course of a week or so, and it ended with my girlfriend sending a wall of text about a bunch of stuff, mainly talking about tattoos as that is something they both enjoy a lot. My best friend heart-reacted the message but never actually responded. My girlfriend took that very negatively and now assumes that my best friend doesn’t want anything to do with her, since there has been no other direct message communication.
My best friend has struggled with her relationship with social media for a long time, and has told me many times how stressed out she can get with messages from people piling up on her. She also works 60-70 hour work weeks on top of juggling hobbies on the side like DJing, going to the gym, etc. It is very hard to get a hold of her sometimes, with me having to double and triple text her sometimes just to get an answer about something. I have to admit it is very annoying sometimes, but it’s just something I have to deal with and I can put my feelings aside knowing that she is busy, is a naturally forgetful person (gets dates and times wrong pretty often) and struggles with a lot of personal issues. I tried explaining all of this to my girlfriend after she brought up not getting a response from my best friend, and she got very upset at me for defending my best friend’s actions.
Since then, I’ve tried to not bring up my best friend to my girlfriend as often as I can, as I could tell there was some tension there. Though my girlfriend will ask about her from time to time, and I always answer openly and honestly as there is nothing to hide. My girlfriend always ends the conversations with something to the extent of, “I don’t like her and I don’t dislike her. She just doesn’t matter at all to me.”
I’ve hung out with my best friend a couple of times since they talked on instagram and she always talks about my girlfriend, asking how she is, talking about how cool she seems, and how she wants to get to know her more. Having known her for as long as I have, I know she genuinely wants to be friends with my girlfriend but gets very stressed out using social media and meeting new people in general.
Just recently there was another instance of my girlfriend bringing up my best friend in conversation, i.e. asking if we had any upcoming plans, and I mentioned there was an event we were going to next weekend that we’d been excited about for a couple of months. After talking about how excited I was to finally go, she again responded with something like “I just don’t really care about her at all, I’m extremely indifferent about her and what she does.” I tried to talk it out with her again, explaining that she really does like my girlfriend and that she wasn’t intending to be mean by not responding to her on instragram, despite it coming off that way. And once again she accused me of being defensive and of making excuses for my best friend’s actions instead of validating her own feelings. I asked where we should go from there, what she thought the solution could be. After my girlfriend said that she doesn’t know a solution, I offered some. Specifically, I suggested that we could organize an online game night with me, my girlfriend, my best friend, and her boyfriend, so that the four of us could interact more and that might make my girlfriend a bit more comfortable. She didn’t seem very interested in that option. The conversation sort of trickled out without a solution and we’re back in this weird spot of her feeling a certain way about my best friend and my spending time with her.
I am now coming to reddit for suggestions. I thought that facilitating a time for all of us to spend together would be the best route to take, but as I said my girlfriend doesn’t seem to want to. I feel super uncomfortable now even texting my best friend, let alone hanging out in person. I also haven’t told my best friend any of this, since from her perspective she really likes my girlfriend and doesn’t think there is any bad energy between the two of them. It feels like her ideal solution is for me to stop talking to my best friend altogether, though she has never verbally suggested that. They both matter a lot to me and I don’t want to have to get to the point of needing to choose between the two of them. What do I do from here?
TLDR: My girlfriend had a weird interaction with my best friend on instagram and assumes that my best friend doesn’t like her. I try to explain that my best friend suffers from social anxiety related issues, and that she tells me all of the time how much she likes my girlfriend and wants to be better friends with her, but my girlfriend just accuses me of defending my best friend’s actions and invalidating her own feelings. In need of advice.

I (26M) was recently broken up with by my (24F) girlfriend of 6 years right after opening up to her about how I had been struggling a lot mentally recently. That's not necessarily the cause, but it happens to be a terrible coincidence.
Backstory to the unfortunate mental struggles:
About 10 weeks ago I had a very long night out and woke up extremely hungover. My brother met up with me that night in our parents car and ended up staying with us for a few drinks, so evidently he left the car.
Of course, I woke up and had a boatload of caffeine so I was already on edge a little bit. My brother was still asleep, so my mom asked me if I could quickly drive my dad to the car so he could take it home. No problem, I hopped in my car and drove there with my dad.
On the way home, completely unprovoked and no anxiety prior, I had an insane panic attack. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. I think I’ve only had one panic attack in my life, and for some reason it left me with a very small amount of social anxiety. During this attack, my hands and feet were completely numb and sweating. At first, I had literally no idea what was going on - I thought it was a legitimate health issue. I ended up taking a bit to drive home, but I made it.
Since then, I've just had heightened anxiety. I've had one other panic attack in the past and I eventually got over the lingering anxiety, so I knew it wasn't permanent.
Mental Health Backstory on her end:
To preface this, we both have anxiety/depression in our genetics unfortunately. In fact, her mom spent some time in the hospital when they were young because of how bad it got.
She also apparently had a ton of anxiety from work recently (she's a nurse, I'm in tech).
On my mothers side of the family, my mom, grandma and great grandma have struggled with anxiety their entire lives, some of them taking antidepressants.
Not fun genes for either of us to have, but we persevered!
Our Relationship:
This is what has been getting to me, our relationship was very healthy. We argued probably 2-3 times per year, we spent the majority of days together - as we lived only a 5 minute drive apart. We were both fully a part of each other's families. All of the normal relationship stuff, we were completely engulfed in it. We had also been looking at engagement rings for a bit and ALWAYS talked about our life together.
When I was about 19 before we were together, I used to drunkenly talk about her all of the time to my friends saying "if she ever gets out of the relationship with her boyfriend (at that time) she's the one I'm going for". When I was graduating high school, I went into her class on yearbook day, grabbed her yearbook and wrote my number in it. Long story short, she ended up single and within a month of that happening, we were together.
The "problems" we had over the years that were semi-recurring:
I didn't suggest enough of our plans. I explained to her a number of times that I'd happily go anywhere, I just don't tend to suggest ideas because sometimes she wanted to, other times she didn't. I've lived by the motto "happy wife, happy life" in that relationship, so I tended to go along with whatever she suggested.
We didn't take enough pictures together. I don't really like being in too many pictures and that bothered her.
We didn't travel together enough. This goes back to the anxiety, I hate flying and haven't done it in almost a decade. However, I have an appointment with my doctor in early July where I'm requesting some "emergencies only" anxiety medication to use for that exact scenario. Note - she went on a number of trips over the years with her closest friends. Furthermore, we had done weekend getaways via car together but those apparently don't count. To add, her friends are hopping on planes at least once per month to go somewhere, I think comparison became the thief of joy here.
I didn't tell her I loved her enough or hug her enough. This one is hard for me because I felt like I definitely told her I loved her a lot. She used to occasionally say "do you even love me", semi-joking but also serious, and I always told her of course I did and even though I may not say it a number of times a day, of course I do. I also did a TON of things for her to show how much I cared (ie. she very rarely had to make a lunch for work, I cooked for her almost every day and we don't even live together) The hugging thing is a bit different, as she's always been extremely affectionate and I never really have been. I truly think it comes down to how I was raised, affection just wasn't a huge part of my childhood. (note, that's not a problem for me or anything, I had incredible family/parents, it just wasn't as prominent as it was in her childhood)
I cared a lot about money and how we could set ourselves up to move out. She had taken 5 trips (two of them by train, three by plane) with her friends in the past year and after the 5th one I asked if she planned on slowing down so she could focus on tackling her student debt and so we could start saving to move out, have a wedding etc. Specifically, I wanted us to be in the position where we weren't renting a home, ESPECIALLY given how much money we were making combined. This part kind of confused me because she was the first one to suggest moving out, but when it came time to adjusting the lifestyle to prepare for it, she didn't like the idea. But, I did use it as a crutch for my anxiety to get out of things sometimes and I did open up to her about that. As an example though, I still went with her to the Gucci store and helped her pick out a very expensive purse to celebrate getting her first real nursing job after graduating. I don't feel that I cared about money (especially given the stage we were in in our lives) more than any of my buddies with girlfriends. I wanted us to be set up well for the coming stages of our lives; they were fast approaching. Furthermore, her friends are catching a plane every weekend and are living with their parents but pay cheque to pay cheque with no prospects of ever leaving unless it's renting
The Situation:
About 7-ish weeks ago, a few weeks after my panic attack, my girlfriend was very adamant that we needed to book a trip together. She said we hadn't been on a "real" trip during our relationship (by real, she means getting on a plane). We were sitting down in her bed on my laptop looking at destinations and flights, but I was incredibly anxious about the whole thing. As we were about to book, I broke down and was fully vulnerable to her for one of the first times in the 6 year relationship. I said that I just don't see myself getting onto a plane right now without some kind of medication to calm me down. On top of that, it would stress me out financially a bit, as I'm a full-time masters student and working full time. Plus, it was during my one-week semester break, so I honestly just wanted to relax.
From that day on, our relationship started going downhill. She said she felt extremely disappointed by the whole situation and she couldn't shake the feeling. We then started only hanging out maybe once per week and it was very bland when we did. A couple weeks after that incident, I slept over at her house and I could tell she was genuinely just not happy at that time.
Brief backstory - despite being 26, my mom still gives me a ton of flack if I sleep at her house. It was rare that I got away with it. But, I did it that night anyway because she always asked me to sleep over but I rarely wanted to have to deal with my mom. I thought it would help show her I'm really trying to get better. She also invited me over the following evening and I obviously went.
After that day, I don't think we saw each other for about 2 weeks. I texted her on a Friday evening and said I just don't feel like she wants to be with me anymore. She picked me up so we could talk, and explained that she felt very disappointed about how we were so close to booking the trip and ended up not doing it. She said she needed a break and I was fine with it, I understood where she was coming from.
During this time, I started seeing a therapist. I found one online who was one of the highest rated in my province and was also extremely experienced in marital/pre-marital counselling so I could tell her about the relationship issues I was having along with my anxiety.
Fast forward about 2 more weeks (last weekend) she texted me saying she was ready to talk and picked me up. She said it's probably best if we just end the relationship for the time being. She explained that she felt she had been disappointed a few times over the years and was bottling a lot of things up. She said she needed time to "find herself again" and didn't know if we would get back together at all in the future or not. Then, we sat there talking in her car for another 30 minutes like things were normal so it really threw me off.
I ended up texting her the next day and asked if I could pick her up because I was confused from the night prior since we talked so normally after the breakup conversation. We ended up talking again, sharing some tears and what not, but I kind of understood why she felt she needed to be alone for a bit, even though she didn't know if we would get back together or not. She said that people do this all of the time and sometimes they come back stronger, but if it was meant to be then we'll get back together. I also told her about how much help I'm getting and how I'm setting a goal to take a vacation when I finish my masters in November. She was noticeably happy and asked a lot about how I was talking to my therapist about improving as a person and a (what I thought was soon to be) fiancé. She asked for all of the details about what we talked about in regards to our relationship and was very happy that I was putting that much effort in.
A couple days ago is when she deleted are photos together, but it came right after she posted an Instagram story while out with a friend who has no stability whatsoever. This friend has been on and off with the same guy (who treats her terribly) for as long as we were together. Not to mention, she sleeps around a ton. I can't help but feel like some of this breakup is being influenced by her friends (specifically this one) wanting her to be single like they are out of jealousy or something. Or, they want her to be flying somewhere once a month with them with no plans for the future. My girlfriend has cried to me in the past because she had been brought to places she didn't want to be because her friend wanted to go for a guy. That friend has also been binge drinking several times weekly for years. The following night, her two friends posted a story of her incredibly drunk in the back of a car with her feet out of the window I'm sure in hopes that I would see it. We're grown ass adults, I can't help but feel like that's just not a cool thing to do to your friend in general? I don't care how drunk you are, in fact I expected her to have a night out with her friends and let loose but posting someone else like that is just insanely stupid to me! To put the icing on the cake, one of my long time buddies from high school decided to go for one of her friends and I gave him substantial warnings about her. Within a year, that relationship was completely over with and she was on to the next.
Neither of us were ever the type one to have one-night stands or get around, so I'm not concerned about anything like that during the breakup. If it happens it happens, but I won't be sleeping with anyone until I've put in all of my effort to saving everything we've built. She's only ever been with me and her ex, while I've had a handful more partners before her - but I've experienced enough in my 26 years to know that there was is only one woman for me.
After all of this, I still couldn't shake the feeling that I felt I was being abandoned during the one time in my entire life I've opened up to anyone and really wanted some support. I'm also just having a hard time processing why it happened and how I can salvage it.
I've texted her once per week since the breaks & breakup happened just telling her that I loved her and wished we were going to XYZ events coming up. I also always say in the message that "You don't have to respond or even read it, I just want you to know". I'm having a hard time deciding if I should continue giving her that weekly text or not, but I really do want her to know how much I care and thought we were a dream team.
I just can't help but feel like we had "problems" that were very fixable and were very minor compared to 99% of couples. Her two best friends have had 5+ boyfriends each in the time that we were together and countless one-night stands. Every time they would break up, I'd hear a story from my girlfriend about how terribly they were treated by these guys and we talked about how lucky we are to have each other. There was no forms of jealousy or self-consciousness between us either, neither of us were bothered when we went out alone with our respective friend groups. I also never for a second worried when she travelled with her friends that she'd cheat or something.
This wraps in with why I can't process the breakup. Aside from the few things we argued about here and there (few times a year) it was an incredibly healthy relationship. I had a great relationship with her friends (despite some of the things I've said about them above) and would often times opt to go out drinking with her group over my group of buddies. I acknowledged my shortcomings as a boyfriend (ie. the affection) with my therapist and she's giving me some help with it. Am I crazy for thinking 1. that I can fix what's happened and 2. Part of this breakup might just be her wanting to see how much I actually care?
Anyway, I might add to this if I remember more important points. I just needed to get some of this off my chest. If you've made it this far into my story, thanks for reading!
TL;DR - Our relationship was very healthy, we never argued, the breakup came essentially because I wasn’t ready to travel despite the fact that I’m actively getting help

**pics on profile if you care
hii my name is josie. i'm 18, 5'4, petite and blonde with green/hazel eyes. i'm on the east coast in the US. i'm single and let's just say i'm open to something if it feels right. in terms of sexual orientation i'm... fluid? i could be into anyone it just depends on the person. i'm demisexual + sapiosexual (these are actually very common things most people don't know there's a name for...google them if you're unfamiliar, it's always good to educate yourself) i'm down to talk to and be friends with anybody, but i'm a little more specific about potential partners.i'm an aries and INFJ if you follow those things and for what it's worth they do seem pretty accurate lol.
i graduated hs at 16 and i've been working ever since. i currently live on my own, which is a long story..feel free to ask if you'd like to know lol. i'm kinda spending most of my time home atm so i'm mostly into playing games (pc (which unfortunately just broke lol) & phone) talking to friends and random people, watching yt, shows and movies, obsessing over music, learning about different topics, some other varius activities. i'm currently obsessed with minecraft so if you play that then put your bed next to mine maybe? ><
i love children and animals and would like a few of each at some point. i love cleaning..it's kinda therapeutic for me. i am happy out and about doing things and being in nature and i am just as happy home relaxing. i don't drink, smoke, do drugs, party, or sleep around. my friends call me a good girl lol. i don't mind if anyone else does these things (moderatly/safely/etc) and i'm not prude by any means, i just have my reasons for not doing them.. again feel free to ask if you'd like to know :)
i maybe might drink a little bit of the depresso espresso and might have a lil bit of anxiety, but i feel like it would be concerning if i didn't considering the life i've had thus far lol. i don't have family so my friends are the most important people to me. i probably laugh too much.. i like to joke around and i can definitely be a brat so someone that can handle my attitude and have good banter is a must lol. i like to talk a lot.. i enjoy talking about controversial topics and learning about whatever i can. i'm very easy to please and eager to please however i can. i enjoy having more dominant people around me and people that like to be in control and make decisions because i can be a bit indecisive. i don't like to rush things, i definitely prefer to go with the flow. i'm kinda shy at first, but i'm very loving and supportive of everyone around me. i've been through a lot so i love to give advice and be there for anyone that needs it. i know how it feels to have nobody and feel alone or to be stressed and have no outlet or safe place for relief. i love to be that for people if i can. it makes me feel like i have a purpose.
in terms of what i'm looking for.. someone older than me is definitely a preference as i seem to have more in common and just get along better, but someone closer to my age could be fine too. as long as you're someone that likes to learn, grow and improve that's really what matters. i like being surrounded by people that make me better and i find it really attractive when a man wants the same. i'd love to meet someone that genuinely cares for me and wants to make me happy in the same way i do them. i'm very open minded and caring and those are definitely qualities i'm looking for in anyone that wants to be in my life. if you can make me laugh that's huge. having someone that can cheer you up or take your mind off things when you've had a long or rough day is so nice. i love making people laugh/happy and it's nice to have people in your life that can do that for you. in general just being a good person and caring for people are really attractive attributes. someone that can handle good, bad, hard, and fun conversations all with grace, that can handle their anger in a healthy way, that can express their emotions well and maturely, that wants to give and receive unconditional love, etc.. these are things i'm looking for. i very much believe in giving what you get so obviously anything i expect you can also expect from me.
physically.. i don't have many things i care about. just in general caring about your health and hygiene is important. being older and taller than me is great, but not mandatory. i don't care about race, background, sexual orientation, relationship history, location, etc. if someone makes me happy then i am pretty accepting of all things that make them, them
if you've read all this and are interested in talking then feel free to message me. please tell me a bit about you (name and basics are a good start) and what about me/my post interested you. i love knowing what's going on in someone's mind :)

Hi, so I recently celebrated one year of HRT and that part's been great. The changes have been incredible, I never thought I'd like myself this much ever. The problems come up with just about everything else
Basically, despite saying they'd 'support' me my dad has become increasingly uncomfortable with me and has stopped helping me survive poverty I've been living in for years
It used to be that I'd just subsist off of $30 a week for the past few years while my dad would occasionally buy food sometimes for the house but I was so horribly depressed and !TW! suicidal !TW! at pretty much all times that I wasn't able to hold down any work or do anything besides school once the pandemic started to lift
Now I'm living with my girlfriend at her dad's place and I'm barely eating, I have no money for food or medication and my name change is still in progress, the next step taking anywhere from 6-8 weeks before I can even go to social security or the dmv
My entire family has grown uncomfortable with my very presence now, despite me being happier than ever, and I've never been more alone besides the relationship with my girlfriend who I love so so much but I don't know how to not lean too heavily on atm
I'm someone who has been through a lot of abuse before and have lived in poverty or close to it my entire life at 26
I would end up in a pysch ward if I had to apply with my legal name I have 0 affirmation outside of my girlfriend and have been discriminated against so many times, my therapist told me to go to a different therapist for better care and basically I have no money, barely enough food and am scraping by
I'm starting to think about sex work because I just don't have anywhere to turn to and my girlfriend is barely making enough for us to live and I feel awful having to depend on her just to survive since my dad no longer helps me at all
It's so hard to just get through the day and I feel like my entire family wants nothing to do with me when its all said and done
I'm just so fucking tired, my life has been all abuse and hell and poverty and dysphoria and depression and therapy and I just want to get something good going but honestly it just feels impossible
My girlfriend, the best woman I know who I think about marrying all the time is having to pull me along and I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing this shit
It feels like there's something so wrong with me and I don't know where to turn in America where without the place I'm staying at I'd be homeless
It feels impossible to move forward and I just never thought when I finally look so beautiful and am so comfortable in myself that THEN no one would want anything to do with me, it just hurts so fucking bad and I'm alone with it all and flat broke just trying to get through each day at a time
I don't know what the fuck to do at this point, it was supposed to be easier after the first year of HRT but now I'm totally alone with things
This is just the hardest I could imagine my life being without me breaking apart into a million pieces and I even have a home and transition went well for me and I'm white in America
Like it could be so so much worse for me but its still this bad and it literally sends me into dissociative episodes like when I was abused as a child with how stressful life is now, it is practically unmanageable
I just really needed to get this out and I have no idea how to fix where I'm at and it's so fucking hard

OK so you got the gist of what I'm saying from the title, so we have 2 massive damages on the exterior wall of my apartment unit which is causing water damage on the inside of the unit as well as mold and slugs coming inside. Not to mention that the breaker in this apartment is from the 1960s and it's very cheap and we've also had a previous electrical fire that they did not take care of and we just no longer use that Outlet. Now where the wall is damaged on the inside and outside there is a portion of it that goes into the carpet which is causing rotting under the carpet now they are showing my unit 2 months early we do not move out until July 31st so this is already pretty weird.
Due to the whole damage as well it's causing A window on a connecting wall on the side to fall out of frame So that when it rains outside it will rain inside and the response was to do a shotty cauc job because the stability is possibly compromised now I do not have the resources or the funding to Sue my landlord however I want to sabotage this in the most legal way possible because no other family should be living in this apartment.
I was thinking of writing notes on paper & white boards to showcase the damages and move the furniture. But nothing that says outright please do not rent this unit but things that do say Hey look there's damages that have not been fixed and have been blatantly ignored.
I am looking for legal advice On how to do this appropriately so that I will not be sued.

My partner and I live together and he's been truly amazing - but I'm terrified. I've definitely noticed that I am MUCH more fucked up than I thought I was in the context of this relationship.
He and I get justifiably angry about something at the same time and suddenly I find myself literally shushing him, repeating "It's fine it's fine it's fine don't worry don't do anything we're okay it's not a big deal" - when seconds ago I was equally pissed off, but no harm was going to happen; nobody was going to behave rashly or spin out of control (what I'm used to in my family dynamic). I struggle with hearing him get angry or even just a bit irritable - I go immediately into damage control mode, trying to make him stop, trying to pretend nothing is wrong even when the anger is totally justified and everybody's safe. I've explained this and apologized to him, and I'm working on it.
I also just am so sensitive - I hear one thing from him that indicates that he's even a little unhappy with something I've done or said (for example, he referred to a bad habit of mine - that I literally call a bad habit - "not his favorite thing" once, and the searing feeling of rejection is still somehow physically painful to me).
If we're out doing something or we're with people and he doesn't appear to be having much fun - even if he's just tired or feeling a bit quieter - I'm possessed with anxiety. I feel like I've done something wrong, misjudged the situation, and now need to either fix it or apologize and run away.
The first year of our relationship was a very healing time for me; my life was less chaotic than usual and I finally had someone I felt pretty safe with around me. I cried, a lot. And he was so supportive and kind - I feel like I was processing a great deal of grief, and he helped me through each episode just by being there and asking questions and holding me. But now my life is a wreck again, and it's impacting me financially, taking up my time, and really fucking me up emotionally all over again. He's been great - too great, financially bearing a great deal of the burden even though I never asked him to; I did not want to accept his help financially but I truly don't really have a choice right now. He's not holding it over my head or anything. I can't express enough how great he has been about all of it. I feel horribly guilty about getting my chaos "on" him, and I don't know how I'll ever feel like I've paid him back.
But the problem more than anything else is my mental health and its effect on him. He was once in a long term abusive relationship where his partner would manipulate him into doing as they wished by threatening self harm or suicide, claiming mental health crisis, etc.; I do not do these things, but I am terrified he's going to feel like he *must* care for me or do as I wish or "fix" my crises, and I'm terrified that's going to ruin our relationship. I completely melted down this weekend - emotional flashback, I think? - and was just not okay in ways I don't think he's seen from me yet. Absolutely inconsolable sobbing, catastrophizing, to nearly catatonic numbness, then back, for hours. That was hard, and I know it was hard for him to see. I eventually asked him to just go to bed without me and I stayed up to freak out some more. The next day was better, until it very suddenly was not, and the same thing happened. But I can see he's frustrated, and I'm worried he's upset with me somehow - I feel like he's trying so hard to say or do the right thing to make me feel better, but there's nothing. There's just nothing to do.
I know what it feels like to love someone who's unpredictable, whose feelings you believe are your responsibility, (hello dysfunctional family!), and it is among the worst feelings in the world. A lovely evening where everything's okay, everyone's having fun, suddenly turning dark and anxious and volatile, is perhaps my least favorite experience on the planet - and I'm doing it to him. I'm the one who is making an evening turn to shit. And I do not mean to, and I do not want to, but I can't seem to contain it? The only thing that I have managed NOT to say around him or to him is the loudest thought I have in these moments of chaos, which is just an unending "I want to die I want to die I want to die". I know, even in crisis, that the feeling will fade, at least enough for me to ignore it. I am not in danger of acting on it - it's just the only words that I can put to the experience and I say them over and over in my head. I will never utter them aloud to another human being, especially not him.
When I was living alone I would just hide from everyone, ignore my phone, stare at the wall, and cry myself to sleep eventually, but I can't hide from him here. And I don't want to - it's like I know he can't help me but I want to know he's still there and still loves me. But I can see that this is painful for him, that he's frustrated and sad and upset, and it makes me want to die of shame. I feel so horrible for doing this to him.
I hate that he fell in love with a better version of me, one that was healing, not one that's circling the drain faster and faster. I wish I could protect him from all of my chaos, but I also don't ever want to lose him; I want to push him away, relearn a poker face, pretend everything's ok, but somehow also want to pull him closer and weep and scream until I physically can't anymore. In those moments/hours/days of crisis, I'm torn between wanting to be alone to spiral into nothing, and wanting to be held and to cry forever.
This turned into such a long post - thanks for reading, if you got this far. If anyone has any idea of what the fuck to do, what to say, what might help in those acute meltdowns... I'm all ears. I'm so lost.

Discord Username: DrGoose53#5737
Character Name and House: Talla Lowther
Age: 29
Appearance: Talla Lowther
Gift: Gossiper
Skills: Courtly (e), Deceiver, Shipwright, Scholar
Talent(s): Cyvasse, Hairdressing, Dancing
Starting Title(s): Lady of Lowton
Starting Location: feast
Family Tree: Family Tree
Alternate Characters: Santolhal Lowther
Character Name and House: Santolhal Lowther
Age: 22
Appearance: Santolhal
Gift: Admiral
Skills: Sailing (e), Cautious / Maimed (leg)
Talent(s): Fishing, Drinking, Ropework
Starting Title(s): Lord of Lowton
Starting Location: feast
Family Tree: Family Tree
Talla Lowther
Talla Lowther was born in 178 AC to Robert and Meredyth Redwyne. For years, Talla was the only child between the Redwyne heir and his wife, and so relished in the unending swarming of attention and spoiling. She served, what seemed like, as a lightning rod of everyone’s adoration and focus. Both parents doted on her and spoiled her, and even her grandfather, the stern and proud Lord Bertrand, would make her fall into fits of giggles as he told her tales of what her future will hold for her.
Her first tragedy in life would come early, soon after she turned four, Meredyth had passed away rapidly and without much warning. At such a young age, Talla was rightfully devastated about the loss, but Robert had done well in keeping Talla’s spirits up as well as possible and providing her every luxury and source of happiness money could buy. For the next year and a half, Robert and Talla were as close as a daughter and father could be. Despite losing her mother, Talla’s life and eccentric personality had rebounded rapidly and she had proven herself to be quite the brilliant child. No matter the subject, Talla would be easily able to grasp whatever her maesters and tutors had placed before her, and, much to Bertrand’s delight, had found herself a natural in all mannerisms a “true” lady of court would need to perfect to survive the politics of nobility. Every so often, she’d hear the whispers from those commonfolk around her or her father and grandfather of what quality of man she’d end up giving her hand to.
But for reasons she had constantly failed to understand, the once supportive and loving Robert had begun to slowly and consistently distance himself from his eldest daughter. No longer would Talla enjoy Robert’s company nearly constantly, hours a day would turn into passing promises for another time, to simple remarks together as they came in random contact with each other. Before long, the only time she spoke to her father were awkward moments together when they still shared dinners together. It was during these awkward times she learned of Delena, the woman who would come to be her new step-mother.
Her first half-sibling would be born shortly after, and she’d be forced to bitterly watch as all of the attention and spoiling that she’d come to enjoy focused solely on Robert's new family. As confused and hurt and frustrated as she was, Talla fell in love with her new siblings, all of which came in almost a rapid succession. She was particularly close to Ryam, her eldest half-brother, the new heir to House Redwyne as Bertrand passed away.
Despite her efforts to win back Robert’s affections and love that she’d sorely grown to miss over the years, their relationship dwindled to nothing more than nearly constant bickering and arguments. Talla would spend as much time as possible away from home, worried this next fight would be the one to push Robert to punish her by marrying her off to some low house or disgusting man now that he had other daughters to pawn off for his gain. Though she cherished her time with her half-siblings, Talla tried to find happiness outside of Ryamsport, traveling to and fro between the various towns and settlements of the Arbor. It was in these travels that she would meet the Lowther family, and in particular, Santolhal . The young Santolhal had been pushed into Lordship of his house with the recent death of his father. Talla had seen the Lowthers before, mostly involved with her family’s fleet, but this was the first time she truly spent time around them outside of family business.
By 202 AC, Talla quickly found herself infatuated with Santolhal. Strong, handsome, and caring, Santolhal had won over her heart nearly instantly, and Talla no longer cared to travel anywhere without Santolhal at her side. In 203 AC, Talla risked bringing Santolhal with her back to Ryamsport with her to ask her father to take the Lowther’s hand in marriage. She expected an argument with Robert, with the winter ravaging the Arbor no doubt giving an extra massive burden to Robert’s worries, but Talla did not expect the gravity in which he would push back against her betrothal with Santolhal.
Hidden behind closed doors, the two of them screamed and cursed each other in arguments that spanned days, and by the time she’d left Ryamsport, Talla and Robert’s relationship would be permanently and irreparably destroyed. Talla would find herself no longer welcome within Ryamsport and separated from her half-siblings she loved so dearly, but it was worth the pain, in her mind, as she traveled back to Lowton with Santolhal and a promised marriage.
Talla was now Lady Lowther of Lowton and for the first time in over a decade she felt happy. Barely two months into her marriage and new life, a letter bearing a tragedy would arrive in Lowton. Robert Redwyne had succumbed to the winter that had been decimating the Arbor much more harshly than ever before. The man she’d loved with all of her heart, and then hated for reasons she could never explain, was dead. She would never get the closure and reconciliation that she did not realize she needed so badly. Robert’s death crippled Talla much harder than she’d come to expect, and she was near inconsolable by anyone for some months after until Ryam himself rode out to Lowton in the swarming snow to personally welcome her back into the family she missed so dearly.
From then on, Talla’s life would come to stabilize itself again. In 204 AC, her first son, Sarrolhal, was born, and with Santolhal at her side as always, the three would enjoy frequent trips between Lowton and Ryamsport.
Santolhal Lowther
Santolhal Lowther was born in 185 AC to Zalhal and Floris Lowther. House Lowther’s situation could be considered unique among Westerosi, as Zalhal was born and raised in the Summer Islands before meeting Floris, the last living member of the Lowther family, and settling down on the Arbor. Zalhal worked as a contracted privateer who helped hunt Stepstone pirates alongside Westerosi kingdoms from time to time before marrying Floris and taking the Lowther name as his own.
For such an action, the Lowthers, already a small family that had suffered greatly over the years and slowly dwindled to near extinction, faced public disdain and scrutiny for some time. As the years passed and Zalhal proved himself capable of accepting the Seven and the Andal way of life, Santolhal and his siblings only faced minimal discrimination from only the most hard headed of people.
Zalhal was an elderly man by the time Santolhal was born and treated his children more as soldiers to train than children to love. Besides any affection they would receive from Floris, Santolhal and his siblings would have an incredibly strict and controlling father until his death in 199 AC. Zalhal would often serve in the Redwyne navy, with Santolhal behind him from the time his son could handle the waves. Santolhal felt peacefully at home on the ships his father brought him upon, and would rarely be allowed to be spared from taking part in any job the crewmen had to do. Though he hated his father for it at the time, he’d come to realize the harsh treatment is what helped him become the renowned sailor he is today.
Floris passed away when he was young, and his father would follow suit a decade later, leaving the young fourteen year old boy the new Lord of Lowton. Santolhal shirked from his new lordly duties, leaving the matters of the state to the councilmen and women his parents left behind. He’d much rather spend his days out on the sea instead of remaining cooped within stuffy keeps and manors, a mindset he holds close even now.
In 202 AC, he met Talla Redwyne in his home city and the two would click together instantly. Talla was the source of affection and love that he’d been lacking since a baby, while he gave her the validation she craved. Despite the winter, the two went to Ryamsport for Talla to speak to her father, but more importantly for Santolhal, to meet her half-siblings. Seeing the way Talla interacted with them contrasted dramatically with the way his family was, for as much as they loved each other, himself, his brother, and his sister struggled showing affection towards each other.
After the disastrous meeting in Ryamsport, Talla and Santolhal married, and a year later his son was born. That same year, however, Santolhal fell from rigging high atop a mast during a storm, having refused to order those beneath him to do a task he himself would not do. Though he was rushed back to Lowton, the maester could not fully fix his wound and he would forever be stuck with a painful limp in his right leg.
NPCs
Janal Lowther: Brother. Skill: Architect
Tosa Lowther: Sister. Skill: Footwork

My father passed away last month at the age of 60. Although he had a number of illnesses, with one being from a young age, his death was unexpected. This is incredibly hard to come to terms with as I expect anyone on this subreddit would appreciate. Reading posts of some people on here who have lost loved ones at a young age or in terrible circumstances puts my loss in perspective but its still no less raw or devastating. I read a eulogy at my fathers funeral which I'm going to add below. It's long and most people won't read it but I just want to tell as many people as possible how amazing my father was. I have omitted any names from the eulogy and replaced with NAME. I will say though my dads name was Mark and I hope anyone who reads this sees how incredible he was.
Thank you all for coming.
My Dad was the person I looked up to the most, especially the older I got where I grew to appreciate the incredible man he was and how he lived his life. He had things very hard from a young age with multiple conditions, but he never let that define him. He appreciated the good things in his life, and not once did I ever hear him dwell on the bad that happened to him, his attitude was always to enjoy what he could surrounded by the people he loved for as long as he could no matter what was thrown his way. My dad possessed many qualities which include being kind, thoughtful, funny, loving and he is the strongest person mentally I’ve ever met and I’m proud and fortunate that he was my dad. The challenge to show those qualities became harder especially in the last few years but he never stopped living and being the man he always was, laughing, joking, and enjoying himself around his family.
His sense of humour was witty and dark, and he loved to wind people up, especially my mum. Even in his final hours he had his sense of humour. He was lying in bed that morning and he had a remote to move the bed into different positions. My mum heard him call her, so she went in and the remote was on the floor. My dad said sorry NAME can you pick it up, so she did. 10 minutes later she heard my dad call her again, so she went back in, the remote was on the floor again this time my dad had a grin on his face, my mum picked it up and gave it to him and warned him not to drop it again. He did of course drop it again and my mum saw a big smile on his face like he always had as she came back in. She knew he was winding her up and was smiling as well and I’m sure my dad thought about doing it again, but he knew one more time and it would be wrapped around his neck.
Two of my oldest memories I have of my dad are of stories he liked to tell because he found them funny to talk about over the years and I know he would like me to mention them. I don’t know whether it’s a coincidence they both involve alcohol, but he was a SURNAME so of course he enjoyed a drink.
The first is when I was around 5 and my dad and I were watching tv and he was enjoying a glass of whiskey. He went out to go to the bathroom and I seized my opportunity, grabbed the whiskey, and had a swig. My Dad came back into the room with me screaming it burns it burns pointing at the glass. My dad knew what needed to be done and rushed into action grabbing a can of lager and having me drink some to get rid of the whiskey taste. It did work to be fair and when I was older, I hated whiskey and enjoyed lager, which explains a lot.
The second story I want to share is another from when I was young. My dad would always go out drinking with his brothers NAME and NAME on boxing day. It was usually a nice casual drink and a chance for them to spend time together. However, on this occasion my dad got very drunk. So drunk his brothers had to carry him home which was an incredible feat by itself as he was not a small man. What was even more impressive is they managed to get him home but avoid my mum. They achieved this by leaving him sitting by the bins outside and knocking the door and running off. I don’t blame them, and I think it was a very smart move. However, what they didn’t expect was my dad to get up and manage to fall inside the bin. That was the sight that greeted my mum.
My dad was a great father to me and my sister NAME. He was limited physically in some of the things he could do with us but he more than made up for it in other ways and he was always there for us when we needed him. The only thing my father got wrong when NAME and I were growing up in my opinion is he should have been a bit harsher on NAME. She was always terrorizing me, and I was always calm and never did anything to instigate things, but she couldn’t be stopped. I think my father showed a bit of favouritism there.
At Christmas and other occasions, he enjoyed having everyone around and eating, drinking, playing games and having fun. Trivial pursuit was something he always wanted to play, probably because he would often win. He would always play as the blue counter, his favourite colour and if my nan was there which she usually was she would go on his team as she knew he would get everything right and she could sit back and sip her dissarano. I’m sorry nan but I really don’t think your going to win many games in future.
A memory of Christmas that sticks out is when we were playing a golf game on the Nintendo wii and it was my dads go. He was very competitive and put a lot of effort into his swing as he had to make up for the fact, he was playing sitting down. On this occasion he tried a bit too hard and also forgot to tighten the strap causing the wii remote to go flying off his wrist and straight into the tv destroying the screen. I will never forget the look on his face, a combination of shock and disbelief.
My dad also enjoyed playing real golf, many times with me and his son in law NAME but always with his mum. He caught the golf bug later in life but would play almost every week, sometimes twice a week for the part of the year they could use a buggy on the course. His father also used to go with them to drive the buggy and the sight of it all on the course was terrifying for others playing. A typical sight would be his father with his sunglasses on no matter the weather, driving the buggy with my dad in front and my nan sitting at the back trying to hold on as his father drove way to fast hitting every bump he could find and just about staying upright. He would then drop them off next to their drive which had gone maybe 50 yards at most, which considering their limitations wasn’t bad. They would play their shots with his father laughing hysterically and taunting them from the buggy as their balls went another 50 yards. To just be on the golf course playing with the pain my father was in and the limitations he had was an inspiration to me. He didn’t care what anyone else thought as he was doing what he enjoyed.
There are many more memories I could talk about and many more things he enjoyed doing but we’ll be here hours if I go into everything, and nobody wants that including me. NAME will go into more of my dad’s hobbies and life later, but I hope what the memories I’ve talked about show is how my dad loved being around his family and always lived life to the fullest. I wish we had more years with him, but I can say with confidence that he was happy and content that he had an excellent life.
There are a few milestones I want to talk about that I know would be important to my dad.
My Mum and Dad met working in a bakery. The day he got married to my mum I know he would have felt so lucky to have found someone he loved and could spend his life with or as my nan put it when preparing for today, he married the best tart in the bakery. They were always there for each other, and I know my dad would have very much appreciated the emotional support she gave him especially the last few years. It wasn’t easy for her either dealing with my dad’s illness but I’m so proud of my mum and dad for how they dealt with everything. Susan and I could not have wished for better parents.
The day my sister NAME and I were both born but especially me were big moments for my dad and changed his life forever, hopefully for the better but maybe not always. Also, important moments were when his Grandchildren NAME and NAME were born who may not know how lucky they are to have had my dad around for the time they did but they will when they are older as they look back to Grampys example and guidance.
My dad was so happy that NAME and I had both found what he had with my mum. For NAME it was NAME and for me it was NAME. NAME and I have chosen the easier option of having dogs rather than children which my dad, despite saying he never wanted a dog around or had any interest in them ended up loving having both NAME and NAME around. He would play with them despite it being hard for him and enjoyed taunting them with toys and chews and they would taunt him back by leaving things just out of reach for him.
The day my sister NAME and NAME got married was an emotional and wonderful day for my dad. Getting to walk his daughter down the aisle was a happy and proud moment for him. we didn’t know if he’d be able to do it beforehand, but he wasn’t going to miss the chance, so he got through it as he always did. My dad was not known for speaking in large crowds or being confident at it, in fact it was the opposite. However, the speech he gave at NAME wedding was incredible, funny, emotional, and memorable. He spoke from the heart without anything prepared and I am so proud he not only got through it but delivered an unforgettable speech.
There was never any pressure put on me or NAME. The only thing he wanted for us was to be happy and if we were happy that was ok for him.
I want to finish by sharing what some of his closest family wanted me to say on their behalf. This is their words read out by me.
His Wife NAME says, Mark was the love of my life, my soulmate with so many happy years together. Those years were rich with happy memories with our family. No more pain and suffering now my darling, rest now. My everlasting love always.
His daughter NAME says, I could not have asked for a better dad. You were always supportive and patient in everything I did. Your Grandchildren NAME and NAME will remember you as wise and funny, you always took an interest in what they liked. I will miss you incredibly, but you will forever be in my heart.
His Mother NAME says, Words cannot say how much I will miss you. I get comfort that you are not in any pain now. Sleep my darling until we are together again.
His brother NAME says, I will love and miss you always, brother.
His Brother NAME says, Dear Brother I will start by saying at least you are now at peace and pain free. You will be deeply missed by us all, after all you were the diplomatic one of the family. Mark was the most patient and calm member of us all and nothing was any bother for him to do. Love you Mark God bless you and thank you for being my brother, Love NAME.
His Son in law NAME says, thank you for welcoming me into your family with nothing but love and kindness. We shared a love for formula 1 and I’ll think of you whenever I’m watching a race.
His Niece NAME says, Uncle Mark was always kind and caring to me and you could tell how much he loved his family. Whenever I visited and complained about something he always found a way to spin it in a positive light and give me a new perspective. My last memory is of him in his chair putting his jumper on which got stuck after his arms were through. He made me jump because I thought he was headless and gave us all a good laugh. I feel lucky to have had him as an uncle.
Finally, for me he was my hero. I owe him everything. I couldn’t have wished for a better man to look up to and learn from. My respect for how he lived his life despite the challenges he faced is immeasurable. He never complained, never worried, never gave up, he lived his life to the maximum he could, doing the things he enjoyed around the people he loved right until the very end.
Dad I’m going to miss you beyond words and its going to be hard, but I will draw from what you taught me and live my life the best I can. It is said that a person is never truly gone as long as they are still talked about. Well, the impact You had on those around you means stories of you will be passed down for generations. The memories I have of you will stay in my head and the love and respect I have for you will remain in my heart forever.

Ok, so going into this just want to make a few things clear.

1. I am fairly new to the AC franchise, only started in 2020.
2. My first AC game was Brotherhood, which I only played about 5 hours of, then I played through and completed AC3 before returning and finishing BH
3. I LOVED AC3, Combat was an absolute dream, Experiencing the Parkour basically for the first time was very fun, The setting is awesome, I thought Connor was interesting, and honestly liked him more than Ezio (still kinda do tbh), and really just enjoyed every aspect of the game, (accept a few of the minigames revolving around leading a squadron of troops, or anything involving riding a horse.)
4. After I was finished both BH (enjoyed the game, not as much as 3 but still had a great time overall) and 3, I decided to give Unity a try after reading some reviews saying it was a rough start but game was polished now. Played maybe 3-4 hours total
5. Got busy with life, forgot about Unity for a while, ended up buying Black Flag on sale and playing 10-15 hours before I remembered about Unity and decided to return to it, where I then finished it (NOT DEAD KINGS, HAVE NOT FINESHED IT, SO I WILL NOT BE TALKING ABOUT IT)

That Is all the context needed for where I'm at now.
​
I do not like Assassins Creed Unity.
Now hear me out, before all you Unity fans jump at me screaming "UNITY IS MOST UNDERRATED GAME OF ALL TIME BLAH BLAH BLAH!" remember...

1. At time of release Unity was called terrible because it was a buggy mess, Then they fixed the game so it actually works as intended and now everybody sings its praises... This game is not underrated, People love this game and if you look at the comment section of any YouTube video even mentioning Unity people cant help but say "Unity is my fav game omg so underrated".
2. I'm not an old school Assassins Creed player who would sell there firstborn child to meet Ezio, I don't dislike the game just because "its not AC2 or BH so its bad".
3. I do genuinely think there are good things about this game.
4. This is just my opinion.

​
Ok, so lets start with what's good about Unity.

1. Parkour. An obvious one, when you start to understand the controls it is gorgeous to look at and flows like water.
2. Paris. Place is pretty. NPCs look good, The larger landmarks are really cool, and they nailed the atmosphere.
3. Music. Soundtrack is good.
4. Arno's Weapons. The single Hidden Blade animations, the Phantom Blade, Cherry bombs, all cool, fun to use.
5. Animations. As mentioned above, the single Hidden Blade, and generally just most animations looks super good.
6. Detective missions. Play as Sherlock Holmes for a bit, pretty fun.
7. Don't honestly care about the modern day story, but the World War Eiffel Tower segment was really cool.

Now lets talk about the average.

1. Combat. Nothing to write home about. Perfectly serviceable, not incredibly fun (I understand the point of Unity, and all AC games really, Is to be stealthy and avoid combat, still keeping it in the average category.)
2. Stealth. I've heard people Praise Unity's stealth and honestly, I don't get the hype. Its fine, better than AC3, that's for sure, but not as good as BH, so idk.
3. Arno. He didn't annoy me, so that's good, But planks of wood leaning against a building don't annoy me either. Lukewarm 5/10 protagonist.
4. Elise. I really want to like Elise, but I feel like she got less interesting as the story went on.
5. Bugs. If your wondering why this is in the average category, its because at no point did they feel worse then the other 3 AC games I played. Pretty few and far between, and rarely game breaking.
6. Open world Objectives. There are lots of them sure, but there for the most part pretty easy to do and don't take long.

And finally the Bad.

1. The UI. Weird opener, right? But for real, The UI felt very... Obtrusive? Maybe that's unfair, as I suppose its not technically much different from the other games, but I found my self playing without it most of the time, which was frustrating because I kept needing it for things. (Maybe not a fair point, but I'm just relaying my experience.)
2. The Story. It felt like the Devs made no effort in trying to make the players care. Sure it opens alright, and the betrayal had at least some emotional impact, but stuff keeps happening and it doesn't really feel like there are any ramifications, Like Arno gets kicked from the Brotherhood and within one sequence you would literally have no idea that was the case, and Elise's Death didn't really pull the heartstrings.
3. Setting wasted. Sort of a combined point with above, but more egregious. Whoever wrote the story for this game to the LITERAL FRENCH REVOULTION, on of the most interesting historical events in the last 500 years, and did jack shit with it. The trailers paint this picture of Arno rising up against a tyrannical French government, and guess what? That never happens. Super disappointing.
4. Gear Stats. Want to look like badass assassin? Well fuck you, The Phantom Hood with the stupid feather in it has way better stats then what you have, and you have to wear it unless you want to be handicapped.
5. Microtransactions. I payed full price for the game, Ubisoft, stop trying to make my buy "Helix credits".
6. Unskippable cutscenes that last way to long.
7. Eagle Vision needs to recharge. Why.

​
I'm not saying Unity is objectively terrible, I was just very disappointed.
Would be happy to hear everybody's thoughts.

My father passed away last month at the age of 60. Although he had a number of illnesses, with one being from a young age, his death was unexpected. This is incredibly hard to come to terms with as I expect anyone on this subreddit would appreciate. Reading posts of some people on here who have lost loved ones at a young age or in terrible circumstances puts my loss in perspective but its still no less raw or devastating. I read a eulogy at my fathers funeral which I'm going to add below. It's long and most people won't read it but I just want to tell as many people as possible how amazing my father was. I have omitted any names from the eulogy and replaced with NAME. I will say though my dads name was Mark and I hope anyone who reads this sees how incredible he was.
Thank you all for coming.
My Dad was the person I looked up to the most, especially the older I got where I grew to appreciate the incredible man he was and how he lived his life. He had things very hard from a young age with multiple conditions, but he never let that define him. He appreciated the good things in his life, and not once did I ever hear him dwell on the bad that happened to him, his attitude was always to enjoy what he could surrounded by the people he loved for as long as he could no matter what was thrown his way. My dad possessed many qualities which include being kind, thoughtful, funny, loving and he is the strongest person mentally I’ve ever met and I’m proud and fortunate that he was my dad. The challenge to show those qualities became harder especially in the last few years but he never stopped living and being the man he always was, laughing, joking, and enjoying himself around his family.
His sense of humour was witty and dark, and he loved to wind people up, especially my mum. Even in his final hours he had his sense of humour. He was lying in bed that morning and he had a remote to move the bed into different positions. My mum heard him call her, so she went in and the remote was on the floor. My dad said sorry NAME can you pick it up, so she did. 10 minutes later she heard my dad call her again, so she went back in, the remote was on the floor again this time my dad had a grin on his face, my mum picked it up and gave it to him and warned him not to drop it again. He did of course drop it again and my mum saw a big smile on his face like he always had as she came back in. She knew he was winding her up and was smiling as well and I’m sure my dad thought about doing it again, but he knew one more time and it would be wrapped around his neck.
Two of my oldest memories I have of my dad are of stories he liked to tell because he found them funny to talk about over the years and I know he would like me to mention them. I don’t know whether it’s a coincidence they both involve alcohol, but he was a SURNAME so of course he enjoyed a drink.
The first is when I was around 5 and my dad and I were watching tv and he was enjoying a glass of whiskey. He went out to go to the bathroom and I seized my opportunity, grabbed the whiskey, and had a swig. My Dad came back into the room with me screaming it burns it burns pointing at the glass. My dad knew what needed to be done and rushed into action grabbing a can of lager and having me drink some to get rid of the whiskey taste. It did work to be fair and when I was older, I hated whiskey and enjoyed lager, which explains a lot.
The second story I want to share is another from when I was young. My dad would always go out drinking with his brothers NAME and NAME on boxing day. It was usually a nice casual drink and a chance for them to spend time together. However, on this occasion my dad got very drunk. So drunk his brothers had to carry him home which was an incredible feat by itself as he was not a small man. What was even more impressive is they managed to get him home but avoid my mum. They achieved this by leaving him sitting by the bins outside and knocking the door and running off. I don’t blame them, and I think it was a very smart move. However, what they didn’t expect was my dad to get up and manage to fall inside the bin. That was the sight that greeted my mum.
My dad was a great father to me and my sister NAME. He was limited physically in some of the things he could do with us but he more than made up for it in other ways and he was always there for us when we needed him. The only thing my father got wrong when NAME and I were growing up in my opinion is he should have been a bit harsher on NAME. She was always terrorizing me, and I was always calm and never did anything to instigate things, but she couldn’t be stopped. I think my father showed a bit of favouritism there.
At Christmas and other occasions, he enjoyed having everyone around and eating, drinking, playing games and having fun. Trivial pursuit was something he always wanted to play, probably because he would often win. He would always play as the blue counter, his favourite colour and if my nan was there which she usually was she would go on his team as she knew he would get everything right and she could sit back and sip her dissarano. I’m sorry nan but I really don’t think your going to win many games in future.
A memory of Christmas that sticks out is when we were playing a golf game on the Nintendo wii and it was my dads go. He was very competitive and put a lot of effort into his swing as he had to make up for the fact, he was playing sitting down. On this occasion he tried a bit too hard and also forgot to tighten the strap causing the wii remote to go flying off his wrist and straight into the tv destroying the screen. I will never forget the look on his face, a combination of shock and disbelief.
My dad also enjoyed playing real golf, many times with me and his son in law NAME but always with his mum. He caught the golf bug later in life but would play almost every week, sometimes twice a week for the part of the year they could use a buggy on the course. His father also used to go with them to drive the buggy and the sight of it all on the course was terrifying for others playing. A typical sight would be his father with his sunglasses on no matter the weather, driving the buggy with my dad in front and my nan sitting at the back trying to hold on as his father drove way to fast hitting every bump he could find and just about staying upright. He would then drop them off next to their drive which had gone maybe 50 yards at most, which considering their limitations wasn’t bad. They would play their shots with his father laughing hysterically and taunting them from the buggy as their balls went another 50 yards. To just be on the golf course playing with the pain my father was in and the limitations he had was an inspiration to me. He didn’t care what anyone else thought as he was doing what he enjoyed.
There are many more memories I could talk about and many more things he enjoyed doing but we’ll be here hours if I go into everything, and nobody wants that including me. NAME will go into more of my dad’s hobbies and life later, but I hope what the memories I’ve talked about show is how my dad loved being around his family and always lived life to the fullest. I wish we had more years with him, but I can say with confidence that he was happy and content that he had an excellent life.
There are a few milestones I want to talk about that I know would be important to my dad.
My Mum and Dad met working in a bakery. The day he got married to my mum I know he would have felt so lucky to have found someone he loved and could spend his life with or as my nan put it when preparing for today, he married the best tart in the bakery. They were always there for each other, and I know my dad would have very much appreciated the emotional support she gave him especially the last few years. It wasn’t easy for her either dealing with my dad’s illness but I’m so proud of my mum and dad for how they dealt with everything. Susan and I could not have wished for better parents.
The day my sister NAME and I were both born but especially me were big moments for my dad and changed his life forever, hopefully for the better but maybe not always. Also, important moments were when his Grandchildren NAME and NAME were born who may not know how lucky they are to have had my dad around for the time they did but they will when they are older as they look back to Grampys example and guidance.
My dad was so happy that NAME and I had both found what he had with my mum. For NAME it was NAME and for me it was NAME. NAME and I have chosen the easier option of having dogs rather than children which my dad, despite saying he never wanted a dog around or had any interest in them ended up loving having both NAME and NAME around. He would play with them despite it being hard for him and enjoyed taunting them with toys and chews and they would taunt him back by leaving things just out of reach for him.
The day my sister NAME and NAME got married was an emotional and wonderful day for my dad. Getting to walk his daughter down the aisle was a happy and proud moment for him. we didn’t know if he’d be able to do it beforehand, but he wasn’t going to miss the chance, so he got through it as he always did. My dad was not known for speaking in large crowds or being confident at it, in fact it was the opposite. However, the speech he gave at NAME wedding was incredible, funny, emotional, and memorable. He spoke from the heart without anything prepared and I am so proud he not only got through it but delivered an unforgettable speech.
There was never any pressure put on me or NAME. The only thing he wanted for us was to be happy and if we were happy that was ok for him.
I want to finish by sharing what some of his closest family wanted me to say on their behalf. This is their words read out by me.
His Wife NAME says, Mark was the love of my life, my soulmate with so many happy years together. Those years were rich with happy memories with our family. No more pain and suffering now my darling, rest now. My everlasting love always.
His daughter NAME says, I could not have asked for a better dad. You were always supportive and patient in everything I did. Your Grandchildren NAME and NAME will remember you as wise and funny, you always took an interest in what they liked. I will miss you incredibly, but you will forever be in my heart.
His Mother NAME says, Words cannot say how much I will miss you. I get comfort that you are not in any pain now. Sleep my darling until we are together again.
His brother NAME says, I will love and miss you always, brother.
His Brother NAME says, Dear Brother I will start by saying at least you are now at peace and pain free. You will be deeply missed by us all, after all you were the diplomatic one of the family. Mark was the most patient and calm member of us all and nothing was any bother for him to do. Love you Mark God bless you and thank you for being my brother, Love NAME.
His Son in law NAME says, thank you for welcoming me into your family with nothing but love and kindness. We shared a love for formula 1 and I’ll think of you whenever I’m watching a race.
His Niece NAME says, Uncle Mark was always kind and caring to me and you could tell how much he loved his family. Whenever I visited and complained about something he always found a way to spin it in a positive light and give me a new perspective. My last memory is of him in his chair putting his jumper on which got stuck after his arms were through. He made me jump because I thought he was headless and gave us all a good laugh. I feel lucky to have had him as an uncle.
Finally, for me he was my hero. I owe him everything. I couldn’t have wished for a better man to look up to and learn from. My respect for how he lived his life despite the challenges he faced is immeasurable. He never complained, never worried, never gave up, he lived his life to the maximum he could, doing the things he enjoyed around the people he loved right until the very end.
Dad I’m going to miss you beyond words and its going to be hard, but I will draw from what you taught me and live my life the best I can. It is said that a person is never truly gone as long as they are still talked about. Well, the impact You had on those around you means stories of you will be passed down for generations. The memories I have of you will stay in my head and the love and respect I have for you will remain in my heart forever.

Over time, one person takes too much responsibility for keeping in touch and connecting. The other person does too little, pulls back and withholds care, time and effort. Often, this will happen early on while dating.
As one person withdraws, the other trys to make up for it by over functioning and working way too hard on the relationship. You are over functioning for their under functioning.
Codependents base their self worth on being needed, often at the expense of their own needs. In a healthy relationship, people treat each other with respect, trust, and are always honest with one another.
Setting limits and having boundaries is an important skill to have while dating and beyond. Don’t let someone disrespect you just because you feel sorry for them. Don’t explain away bad behavior because they had a bad day or a bad childhood. Making excuses for bad behavoir is what codependency looks like.
Make sure you maintain your own life, separate from your partner. Notice if they are maintaining their own life, too. Schedule time to see friends and family, or spend a night alone so you can unwind. Do things on your own and then you will have more things to talk about when you’re together. This is an important way to set limits.
Don’t be afraid to value your own body. Your body is also part of setting limits and boundaries. We live in a culture where sex is recreational, rather that being an expression of love. If you are looking for love, it’s ok to reserve your body for a relationship that truly deserves it. You can wait for sex, and make sure the person your dating is really someone who will value true connection and love.
What Codependency Looks Like In A Dating Relationship - (mftherapy.com)

I always tried to do right in life I would give the shirt off my back to help anyone i don't do drugs I don't drink only thing I do is smoke cigarettes in my relationships I give the world out I have never hit a woman cheated on them or expected anything from them except to show me they care all of my relationships I have brought them out of the hardships they were in without expecting anything in return I have raised 11 children that were not mine they all called me dad and I always considered them my children I have raised my 2 children alone never asking for support from anyone within the past 2 years I hurt my back making it hard for for me to do much I went 2 years living off my savings a few months ago I lost my house (rental) I have been living in for 12 years my mother who just recently came into our lives within the past few years took us in buy its very hard to live with her I spent what I had left to stop her from getting evicted everything has been going OK but I feel like my whole world is gone now wile I struggle to keep going for my kids I feel like I'm ready to give up I hate having to struggle I hate having to go to bed alone I seem to have to push my self to get up and function every day and I'm always in so much pain physically and mentally I think I'm ready to just call it quits I have no family no friends no money no job no home I feel like I'm falling my self and my kids do I send the kids back to there mothers and just give up I'm not sure I'm strong enough to keep going.

I (21F) just am so overwhelmed and I have a wonderful boyfriend and some nice friends but they come from a different world. I just need a space out of them to vent.
Anyways life has been a tad unconventional for me. Addict bio dad out of the picture by age 3, chaotic and abusive young mom, hardly any familial ties out of my mother and paternal grandparents past age 6. Often acted as a caretaker for my significantly younger siblings one of whom has behavioral problems (adored them both though dearly). Started working at 14 and contributed to family finances/my schooling. Household became abusive in pretty much all the ways.
16 had a mental break and was hospitalized and institutionalized for about 6-7 months total. That's it's own can of worms. Left home at 16 after being back for a month due to a horrible event, ran away and moved in w/ paternal grandparents. Vaguely homeless for a bit at 17, then hospitalized and institutionalized myself at age 18. Horrible experience at the first center, abusive relationship, drug use got worse, clinical abuse blah blah. Finally made the decision for a higher level of care hours away in a smaller facility.
Whole life changed for the better, finally everything was clicking. Went to a sober living after and finally got an apartment with some folks. Sadly this was in SoCal and my roomies were older (30's) and were ready for a new chapter. I couldn't afford rent with no help and had to move in with a coworker and share a bed with her little sister. Finally it was time to let them get on with their lives and I felt guilty enough needing so much help.
Back with paternal grandparents who moved ~2 hours away from where I grew up. I sleep on a twin air mattress in their small office with no door. I appreciate it obviously but it is not ideal and we are not compatible housemates. I sustained a pretty decent injury that required surgery and got to stay in my uncle and his wife's guest room. (Grandparents stay in a small in-law unit in the back) however there is pushback on this even as I'm still healing.
I am constantly scrambling and trying to find anywhere to live. Obviously I would prefer a studio or single room apartment but they are so outrageously priced. $1,600 seems to be the LOW end. There are hardly any rooms for rent even and the one I just almost had rejected me as one housemate's gf was uncomfortable a girl (me) was wanting to move in. My grandmother picked up a job again to help me with half my rent so I can go to school full time finally.
All I want is to focus on school, I come from a family that isn't highly educated. That mostly came from poverty/low-income lifestyle's. I am (not to toot my horn much) quite intelligent and love to learn and have attainable dreams. I haven't had the time to just be my age. And when I do act my age I am ridiculed because I don't have that luxury. And tbh this is true, I don't.
I appreciate the help I am getting. But unfortunately it's just not seeming to be working. I have no financial support other than myself (and eventual help with half my rent ofc) I cannot physically work until July/August. I am on disability pay and nobody is willing to teach me to drive so I'm just stuck. I am so scared and stressed and it is overwhelming me. I haven't had to take my anxiety meds in months but have had to nearly daily the past few weeks. (They are as needed, all safe no worries!)
I also am just so lonely. My boyfriend is wonderful and listens and helps as much as he can. But I'm new here in this town. I don't have a strong support circle. I cannot only rely on him and thankfully I AM in therapy, at least the weeks I can afford it lol.
Anyways I don't know what I'm looking for, it just feels nice to put it out there. If there is any advice I'd appreciate it. I am trying my best. For school I enrolled in FAFSA, got approved for that as well as 2 state grants. I applied for our EOPS program last week. I start school for the first time in over a year in 2 weeks. So I suppose that IS a silver lining. And my boyfriend and dog also are. I shouldn't say there isn't any, and I'm lucky to have my grandparents. I just am scared and feel utterly small.
EDIT: grammar mistakes

I know, I know, I know... seek a lawyer, but trying to save as much money on my friends estate as possible, he barely has enough to cover the cost of the funeral. (I am/was his best friend and executor)
One of his banks he has a checking account, around $1620 in it. He also had a line of credit with the bank where he owes about $13,000. After about 2 weeks of the runaround, finally got the answer from the bank about how much was in the account, and that they used that to help satisfy the Line of Credit.
Can they do that, or does it have to go to the estate first? From what I read, "costs of administering the estate, probate fees, attorney fees, then (he didn't have any) family living with him, the costs of funeral, burial, medical care, the grave marker, claims from Pennsylvania, then ALL other claims.
Question is: Can the bank just take the money, or does it have to go to the estate first?

Should a second marriage be as important as a first?! My fiance and I will be getting married in October of this year (2023). We have both been married once before, to other people. Already our wedding has had so many sad and disappointing turns, and it hasn't even happened yet! My MOH was my brother's fiancé (mother to my beautiful niece), but she dropped out!!! She said she can still be in the wedding party as a regular bridesmaid, but it was too much stress to plan my bridal shower AND hers and my brother's wedding (which is also happening just a bit before mine). I was, understandably, sad about this but I also could see where she was coming from. I gracefully accepted, and then appointed my soon to be sister in law as my MOH. After assuring me she could handle this task SHE TOO dropped out as MOH! She said she would still do the roll, but couldn't plan anything that was the MOHs job. I was so angry and heartbroken that the women I thought were special enough to be in my wedding party couldn't come through for me! The other major issue is that my groom (bless his wonderful heart) has been dealing with family that doesn't care! We have a small budget and an even smaller circle of family and friends we'd want around us for such a sacred day. So imagine, you only invited a small amount of people and almost half of them won't be attending! No one in his family seems to think this wedding is a big deal! We assume they think, because it's his second wedding, they don't need to take it seriously! He's heartbroken at this! Our wedding is only a 50 minute drove from the town his entire family lives in! There's no reason they should miss this wedding! My family is spread out and most live about 2 hours away depending on traffic. They all still plan to be there! My fiancés PARENTS are the MAIN ONES treating this wedding like it's not important! We rent our home from them (as they have many properties they rent to people), and his dad continues to treat us like it's just a waste of perfectly good rent money in his eyes. To clear one thing up, he has no idea how much we are or are not spending, so therefore has no idea if we're wasting money! (Luckily my aunt and grandmother have graciously paid for many of the larger priced items for the wedding, saving us from going broke!) It's so easy to just say "F them, we'll be fine without them", but it doesn't make my fiances heart hurt less! We are completely, madly in love and everyone can tell! My family and our friends are all overjoyed to see us both finally happy with our true love! We just don't understand why (mostly his parents) don't care! His parents have seen him struggle time and time again in his previous relationship, and yet they show no support or happiness in seeing him Finally happy and loved the right way! What do we do? How do we move forward? How can I help him to hurt less?

Hey guys! This is the first time I’ve ever written a post on Reddit I usually just like to come on here to read other peoples stories/advice, but my mom hit me last night and I wanted to see if anyone has any advice because I’m feeling quite lost on what to do and/or how to go about the situation from here.
I’m going to try be brief as possible with my backstory but there’s a lot of shit to cover and it’s important to mention a few of these things so you guys can understand the situation best. My parents used physical discipline when I was a young child but I do need to preface that from what I can tell it hasn’t affected me in my adult life/traumatized me; in fact my younger brother and I now tend to joke about it with each other and my parents (which maybe you guys will think is fucked up but I promise it hasn’t deeply affected me). I grew up in a country and at a time where this was still relatively acceptable but the reason for why my mom hit me last night and the situation behind it is (at least in my mind) completely different to the “discipline” I used to receive as a kid.
About 8 years ago my family immigrated to the USA and being 12 years old at the time it affected me drastically and as a result I ended up developing pretty severe depression and anxiety which led to a suicide attempt at the age of 15 and then me starting a journey to get my mental health back on track. Since then I’ve had my ups and downs but overall would say I’m doing a lot better mentally, I’ve worked through a lot of the trauma from the move and some other stuff that’s happened in the years since then (toxic relationships, an eating disordeself image issues, being sexually assaulted, betrayals from close friends, and more) but despite improving overall I do still experience extended time periods where I’m very depressed and anxious.
During the first few years of us moving to the states I hid a lot of mental health struggles from my family and was in a really dark place dealing with a lot on my own, simultaneously, my mom was experiencing her own mental health problems due to moving (she hasn’t ever openly admitted she has but knowing her and from my own struggles I’m pretty positive she has always had anxiety and that she went through a pretty severe depression due to the move). As a result, our relationship became extremely toxic and the way my mom treated me in those years could be likened to emotional/mental abuse. In more recent years we have repaired our relationship and it’s gotten a lot better since I’ve become an “adult”, we still have our moments every now and then but they’re significantly less and the dynamic we have is a lot more “normal” for a mother-daughter relationship.
I also need to admit that I vape and smoke weed, I’ve used them as coping mechanisms and I know that vaping especially is not healthy but that’s not the main point of this post just some important context. My parents know I vape and recently discovered I smoke weed (the weed they still haven’t mentioned most likely because they don’t want to cause an argument that could detrimentally affect our relationship). I mentioned the smoking /vaping because it was brought up in the argument that was had with her and I know that over the years it’s caused a big rift in my relationship with both my parents (especially the one I have with my mom).
So last night, I came home around 1 am from a Memorial Day party and when I got home my mom attempted to start an argument with me about the fact that I don’t make enough effort spend time with her and I will admit I could make more effort with her but it’s hard when we don’t see eye to eye on many things, I’m currently going through a pretty intense depressive episode, attempting to balance my personal schedule has been hectic lately, we don’t enjoy the same hobbies/interests, and she is/has always been quite openly judgmental towards me (my appearance/style, me being a “drug addict” in her opinion, my tattoos and piercings, the ways I choose to cope with my depression and anxiety bouts, etc). I tried to not entertain the argument but she just kept going at me and I got quite defensive with her and admitted that I feel like she loves me as her child but doesn’t like me as a person per say (this is something I’ve been feeling lately and was confirmed by some messages I saw she’s sent to my dad about me recently). I also mentioned during the argument some of the major issues I’ve had over the years with her and my parents. She then stormed off into her room and I know I’m in the wrong but as she closed the door I told her to “Fuck off”.
So sorry but a little bit more context: a big point of contention in my relationship with my parents over the years is their strictness/parenting style and I won’t go too deep into that explanation but anyone with immigrant parents and/or an international background themselves probably knows exactly what I’m talking about.
Anyways back to last night, after she heard me swear at her she proceeded to come back out her room, storm up to me and then repeatedly began slapping/hitting me across the face, my arms (I was trying to block her), and even in the back of the head as I tried to turn around and go into a bathroom to avoid her. This was broken up by my dad who heard the commotion. My parents have not used physical discipline on me or my brother since I was about 10 and he was 9 (I’m 20 now, about to be 21 in a few months), so I was in a state of shock last night after it happened and cried and had a long chat with my dad who was attempting to mediate the situation and support both me and my mom (I’m not mad at him for being there for her btw). My mom tried to apologize last night right after but I wanted to hear nothing of it and haven’t seen/spoken to her since.
So that brings me to this moment where I’m now hoping some random strangers from the internet have any insight/advice for me. I’m not injured by it just more so still in shock, my mom doesn’t/hasn’t ever “beat” me and I definitely don’t foresee this ever happening again. The worst part about this is somehow I feel bad for my mom, the part of me that’s become more empathetic over the years due to my own struggles recognized she must be going through something significant internally for her to do that but I simultaneously recognize that is not an a excuse and that this situation is in no way ok at all, so why does my brain make me feel bad/guilty? I don’t know where to go from here, what to do, and there’s a part of me that desperately just wants to ignore this and pretend it didn’t happen/wasn’t that bad for my own sanity.
Anyways, I have no idea if anyone will even read this and if someone does, I thank you so much for reading this long ass ramble of a post :) If anyones had a similar situation I’d love to hear your thoughts/advice. I still love my mom, please don’t think she’s an evil person I know that she’s not.

Switching to T-Mobile
Hello,
I’m planning to switch 10 family lines (possibly 15) from AT&T to T-Mobile this weekend on the Go 5G Plus plan. We plan to split the 10 lines between 2 accounts. (3 accounts if 15 lines). I’m gonna explain our reasoning for the split. I know we’re gonna pay a few extra bucks per line each month but I’ve read and learned that T-Mobile doesn’t give a high credit limit even with excellent credit, which we have. That would somehow limit our choice of phones and require down payments. This is one of the only things I like about AT&T right now. That I could get 10 1TB iPhones no down payments and no questions asked. The other reason is that at least 8 members want to take advantage of the iPhone 14 on us, and the limit is 4 per account.
All the phones we currently have are paid off with AT&T. Most of us have iPhones SE 2nd generation laying around and that’s what we’re planning to trade in for the iPhone on us promo instead of our current devices because the older one is an iPhone 11. I think it’s better to trade in all the iPhones SE first.
Anyhow. Here are some of my doubts:

1. Does anyone know when the iPhone 14 on us promo, trading in devices as old as iPhone 7 ends?
   
2. Does the system allow 3 accounts with the same address? The name and SSN would be different, but the address would be the same on all 3.
   
3. I’m planning to get the iPhone 14 On Us and then pay it off, still get the credits at an account level, and get an iPhone 15 when it’s released. Would the 14 On Us promo affect my eligibility for a promo on the 15?
   
4. Can we open only the account and then get the phones and iPhone 14 On Us promo from Best Buy? The reason for this is that I’m a total tech member and if I get the phones from Best Buy I would get apple care for 2 years on each device as a perk of the membership.
   
5. What other promos would we qualify for? Can the $200 port in gift card be stacked with the iPhone 14 on us?
   
6. If we end up porting 15 lines, the other 5 are with Cricket, not AT&T. Would those qualify for the $200 port in credit?
   
7. I have read that the activation fees only apply for the first three lines on each account. Is this true?
   
8. I would love to avoid dealing with a store. I prefer to do everything online but also I would love to get insider codes for each of the accounts. Is anyone here that can hook me up with some codes so we can do everything online?
   

Thank you in advance.

First
Capes and Conundrums
Santiago raises an eyebrow as he finds Albin whaling on holographic opponents. The safeties in the room ensured that even though the kid wasn’t doing that well, he was still not getting hurt. He has one real piece of advice. “Follow through.”
“What?” Albin asks. He had sent he room to send out endless waves off literally faceless opponents at him so he could feel like something other than weak. But he... he’s not very good. He may have gave off a good fight when he could rely almost entirely on his Yauya Cloaking abilities. But he’s not even trying to fade out of sight now and is just flailing around.
“If you want your opponent to feel it then don’t swing like you just want to hit them, swing like you want to crash through it. Don’t aim to hit the opponent. Aim to cave them in.” Santiago says and Albin tries before shaking his hand.
“It’s not doing much better.”
“That’s because you’re just using your arm. Turn in with the punch, put your whole body behind it and it’ll be felt.” Santiago says throwing a punch as an example.
The next shot rocks back the faceless opponent and sends it staggering rather than just having the head snap back and return like a mocking speedbag.
“See? Follow through and full body. Thankfully you’ve already got a good idea how to make a proper fist. Thumb on the outside.” Santiago says punching one of the targets so hard it crashed into another three hard enough to take them all out. “So, wanna talk?”
“Every time I talk with someone about my problems the more of a problem it becomes!” Albin replies as he slams a hard fist into the gut of another opponent and it starts to fade away. There are only about two more opponents left in this wave and Santiago’s smash to the top of one’s head has enough force to crush a man’s spine, let alone the somewhat weaker hologram.
Meanwhile Albin has grabbed the last hologram by the shoulders and was slamming his knee into it’s crotch over and over again. He pants and stands up before pulling Axiom into himself to rejuvenate. Santiago doesn’t try to engage in conversation again. According to Doctor Malaise, who has a connection to his earpiece, the kid needs to reach out first and is more likely to do so to a positive male role model. Something he fits in as as a strong independent man who also has strong family values and frankly nothing but positive interactions with the young man.
Three waves pass with Albin getting faster and stronger with each push as he figures out more from fighting with Santiago there to provide an example. He goes from flailing to respectable crosses and hooks with the occasional jab mixed in as well. A bit of example from Santiago and he starts taking up a boxing stance and things just start falling into place.
At the end of the fourth wave Santiago sees his exhaustion and pauses the simulation to allow Albin a break. The boy collapses to the ground panting and trying to regulate his body temperature a bit better. A bit of a task considering his lack of sweat glands.
“Feel a bit better.” Santiago asks.
“Feel like I’m boiling myself alive.” Albin says as his tongue lolls out a bit.
“In a god way or a bad way?”
“How can it feel good to be boiled alive!?” Albin demands.
“Bad way then. Got it.” Santiago says. “Just take it easy and let the heat die down then.”
“Already happening.” Albin says as he sighs in relief. The Axiom flow around him is mildly interesting, but of no real concern. The older an Axiom born person is the faster these automatic Axiom adjustments happen. A sort of instinctual experience and efficiency.
“Nice, very nice.” Santiago says as he helps Albin up who’s sniffing the air.
“What... are you stinking?”
“No, I’ve been throwing my punches far harder than I need to. So it’s a slight workout for me. A bit better than shadowboxing to be honest.”
“Shadowboxing?” Albin asks and Santiago steps back to give him an example.
“You work on your speed and form like this! You use a bag to push your force and toughen up your hands too!” Santiago explains and Albin chuckles.
“That’s a bit different from how Bane fights.” He teases and Santiago pauses mid box before chuckling.
“True enough, there are many unarmed fighting styles. Bane is a poor example of one, relying more on brute strength and endurance than skill. But he’s a Luchadore. A grappler. I’ve been trained in the Lucha style and I prefer it. So I’m the default option for playing a bad Lucha and...” Santiago explains before finishing off by blowing a raspberry in annoyance and Albin chuckles at that.
“Don’t like doing a bad job?”
“I defy you to find me one man, no, one person that likes doing a bad job of things!”
“Plenty of people do things halfway!” Albin dismisses.
“Yes, but they’re succeeding in that they want to avoid work and be lazy. Name one person who wants to work and is satisfied doing it badly.” Santiago rephrases his challenge.
“My parents did a bad job with me and...”
“They’re absolutely miserable about it and hate themselves for it.” Santiago interrupts that train of thought even before Doctor Malaise can tell him to. He doesn’t care if he’s lying or not. He hates that very mindset.
“What?” Albin asks.
“Keep going, you’re right, please keep going.” Malaise tells him through his earpiece.
“Do you think your parents like that they’ve hurt you? They may have made mistakes, but they never wanted you hurt.” Santiago says before shrugging. “They coddled and smothered you. Not good. But they never laid an angry hand on you and... have they ever even shouted at you?”
“No, not really...”
“Then it could have been worse.”
“But... I mean...”
“Look, I’m not either of your parents. But you’re going to be caught up in endless what could have beens or what ifs if you don’t speak with them. I understand the hesitation. But well... I am personally an Undaunted. I see something hard to do as something that’s worth doing all the more.”
“Because it’s hard?”
“Because by doing hard things, you become a stronger person. You become better, not because you do something easy, but because you do something hard. It’s easy to sleep, to eat, to not care. But it’s hard to work, to push past your hunger and harder still to care. But no one celebrates the best napper. The biggest eater... maybe, but the most uncaring person? What do they have?”
“Well I assume big eaters have big bodyparts.” Albin says with a bit of a grin. He clearly understands what Santiago is saying but is arguing for the sake of it.
“And if they keep small and thin? Are they just a big eater then?”
“Alright alright fine! I get it! I get it...” Albin says before trailing off. After a few moments he gives Santiago a sideways look. “So... how much of that was Doctor Malaise’s coaching.”
“The extent of it has been keep going, keep going. Please keep going.” Santiago says as he plucks out the ear piece and pockets it. “There, see? It’s gone.”
“Alright. I just... I know I hired her but at the same time it! I mean... Argh!” Albin exclaims miming strangling something as he utterly fails to find the words and just groans in disgust, annoyance and frustration.
“I know.”
“How?”
“I was a teenager once too you know! You’re feeling everything! The world is shifting around you! You’re finally aware enough to see the things you never saw before or always ignored but you don’t have the experience or knowledge to deal with them! You feel like you can take on an army! But the stupid randomness of life is tripping you up every step of the way! You’re unstoppable! But you’re helpless! You’re immortal! But you can’t DO anything! I know! I really, really know.”
“You do?”
“Yes! I thought I was going right to the top of the heap in Lucha when I was in highschool! I got to the semi-finals on a technicality and was tossed around like a joke! I thought nothing could stop me! Then The Gecko treated me like a complete chump!”
“You were?”
“I was! But do you want to know what I did?”
“What?”
“I spoke with The Gecko afterwards. I talked to him, I learned how he beat me. I learned what my weaknesses were. I learned and then I practised anew. I grew to become better. The problem you’re having with your family... it can be somewhat the same. Right now, there’s been a defeat. Metaphorically, both you and your family have lost the fight. So if you’re to learn from this and grow to be even better fighters, you need to talk to learn about your weaknesses, which you have indeed started to do, and then you need to train to be better. To be stronger.”
“... It’s completely insane that that actually made sense.” Albin says after a bit and Santiago laughs.
“True enough! But sometimes the most mangled metaphors are the most effective!” He says. “Now! Want to face a wave or two with nothing but grappling? Learn to control your opponent and you can control a fight.”
“I’d like that. I think I would. It feels good to break things.”
“It’s called Catharsis. You’re venting all your grief and rage and frustration when you’re hurting things. The mind lives in the body, so a lot of problems can be strangely solved by just going out and doing something.” Santiago says before shrugging. “It’s just one of the odd things of life.”
“Yeah, that’s weird.” Albin concedes.
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Doctor Malaise resists the urge to sigh. After Santiago had pulled off a minor miracle in further calming and getting Albin more agreeable she had arranged a meeting between Albin and his parents Thalison and Azisa. Which in brooding teenage fashion had quickly shut down as Albin decided to sulk anew and glare over his shoulder as he turned mostly away.
She ensures that the urge to try and shake the silly boy is well and truly suppressed before she opens her mouth. “Now, this meeting has been agreed to as the unfortunate death of Beaky has revealed quite a few issues and miscommunications in this family that need to be if not sorted out, then at least discussed. Albin, would you like to speak first?”
“Oh? Am I allowed to talk? Am I not too frail for that!?” Albin demands.
“We just wanted to...” Thalison begins but Azisa speaks over him.
“Son you don’t understand...” She begins to say before a piercing whistle from Doctor Malaise grabs everyone’s attention. She then slightly coughs to both clear her throat and establish an appropriate level of sound for the conversation.
“Let’s not start with casting blame or insults. That only leads to such things being returned or defensive attitudes. Instead perhaps you two could explain to Albin why you thought it was a good idea to hide the fact he had Gurana’s Syndrome from him.”
“If I may?” Thalison asks. There’s no answer. “It’s from my family line so it’s best if I answer.”
“By all means. Please.” Doctor Malaise says and she notes happily to herself that Albin has turned a little more towards his parents instead of away.
“It was by my recommendation that we don’t tell you about your Gurana’s Syndrome or treat it as odd, because to me? To my family? It is normal. Once a generation, someone has it. Every twenty years there is Gurana’s Syndrome in the family. Sometimes it’s as little as a ten year gap. And sometimes, though never more than once every hundred or so years, we have two at once.” Thalison explains. “And normally, what we’ve done with you Albin, works perfectly! My cousin Garona had it in my generation. She’s a master bladesmith now and makes a very comfortable living producing custom weapons for hunters and warriors of all stripes. Before her, it was your grandfather. The man is a historian. Before him it was a great great aunt! She’s an expert huntress specializing in traps and animal calls to do all the work for her.”
“Then what went wrong with me?” Albin demands fully facing his father and while not hiding away, he is confrontational about it.
“Pure bad luck. That’s all. What I did for you, worked for my cousin. Worked for my father, your grandfather. Worked for my Great Aunt, your Great Great Aunt. You are the first in many generations to actually have a negative side effect of Gurana’s Syndrome. I wanted this to go so very differently. I figured you’d go hunting with your sisters in a huff, then after that you and me would drag them to the fertile plains over this world and you’d have a wonderful time playing with Beaky and getting your sisters to as well. But it all fell apart.” Thalison explains before taking a deep breath and swallowing a bit to rewet his throat.
“Where did it go wrong? I don’t know! Was it your sisters pushing too hard or being too inattentive? Was it Beaky choosing to be difficult at the exact wrong moment? My choice of destination? You choosing the exact wrong time to dig in your heels? I don’t know! Maybe all of them, maybe none of them! But it was not deliberate. I don’t want to hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you. If I can get nothing else across to you today, then understand this, I’m on your side. I want the best for you. I’m your father and I love you. I want you to have a wonderful life and I’m sorry about what happened to Beaky. I really am. I know he meant a lot to you.”
Albin tries to answer but nothing comes out. He tries again and there’s a slight hitch in his breathing. But still no words. He pushes and tries to force it and he breaks out in a few sobs. Thalison is beside him and pulling him into a hug that Albin does nothing to get away from even as he starts breaking down. Before he can even start to weep Azisa is there and embracing them both.
Doctor Malaise smiles at this. It’s a start.
​
First Last

Basically I (F19) decided early last year (2022) that I wanted to move across the country to be with my long distance boyfriend (M20). I would fly out to see him every other month and would stay for about a week or two. A little backstory with him and I: my sister was friends with him for about a year before I met him.
When I did meet him, it was at that same sisters wedding (he was the best man and I was the maid of honor). Then we dated for about a month and then broke up. We then became a situation ship and eventually got back together late 2021. We have now been together for a year and a half.
Anyways, when we made the decision that I should move out there, I told my sister out of pure excitement. I told her that I was going to move into his house with his parents (his parents were super ok with it. Then on the same phone call with my sister, she told me that his parents were toxic towards one another and that I had to promise that I wouldn't live in that house. Initially, I didn't want to make the promise without knowing the parents (I had met them before and they're very sweet people and I like to know both sides before I side with one person) but I ended up making the promise.
Told my bf and we were coming up with plans to rent a place until we could afford a house. The plan was that I would leave my home state on my birthday. But things came up with my family and I had to leave early by 3 months. Thus, I moved into my bfs parents house, breaking the promise I made with my sister.
This is when things took a turn for the worst. My sister started telling lies about me to her husbands parents (who are friends with my bfs parents). She told them things like that I had said really rude things about my mom, that I told her she needed to go to the gym, etc. just hella rude stuff that would never come out of my mouth. She also told everyone that I Would never make it as an engineer (my dream job). It's been 7 months now and I haven't said a word to her and through her lies, she has turned my immediate family in my home state against me. My little brother even told me that I wasn't his family anymore.
So AITA? (Also it turns out that my bfs parents ar the sweetest most caring people ever and have shown 0 signs of toxicity)