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The life and hijinks of a Great Pyrenes
2017.11.30 22:50 Sunstoned1 The life and hijinks of a Great Pyrenes
Great Pyrenees are known as gentle giant's, with strong wills and questionable intelligence. Jack Dammit proves the point.
2023.06.07 15:35 Narukami_7 Lenient LP system or MMR that mixes everyone in the same lobbies regardless of skill; these two can't coexist next season
Regardless of any other tweaks to prevent getting points by ratting, those two systems in combination have been disastrous for the overall ranked experience
The previous ranked systems were harsh, but they did put people in places where they belonged. The biggest cutoff point was D4; for as soon as you got into D3 you were placed in masters/pred lobbies much more requently, if not all the time. Hardstuck D2 or D1 did not exist. Either you were good enough to break the barrier or get to masters, or you were lacking in skill, thus bouncing back and forth between D4 (mostly gold, plat and D4 players) and the aforementioned D3 lobbies. It was tough, especially solo, but it as a well established difference
Nowadays the line is extremely diffuse. I'd dare say people who used to be platinum 4 onwards would have no problem reaching masters this season, and people who were gold and lower could easily rat their way to low masters. Literally almost everyone being grouped together in these lobbies, along with the fact that you basically don't lose much if you die early, makes matches way too volatile. Don't get me wrong, the end game is phenomenal and watching 10 squads in zone 3 or even 4 is the closest casual players will get to an ALGS/scrims experience, but the cost is too high and it comes with many negatives. From my point of view, many people will complain about it for different reasons. For former masters, it sucks because reaching masters along with 15% of the ranked population (perhaps even more... there's like two months left) takes value away from the achivement. As for preds, well, no rat is going to farm 500k ladder points (perhaps even more) by the end of this season. People who are beasts will play for longer and score more LP per match so it's not a problem. What IS a problem is that, for those people, these lobbies are worse than a casual pubs match; there's a reason why they're trying to play solo to get a better challenge. It's not good for their experience and it's not good or views on twitch or YT videos either. These pity seasons won't help anyone; there's a bunch of people in social media already mocking the upcoming badge and trails, much like it happened in some previous seasons
So to me, apart from other adjustments to prevent things like ratting and getting LP without K/A, or people stuck in zone for 10 minutes crafting medkits and surviving, you have to get rid of either this new MMR system, or the LP leniency. You either keep the points generous yet the lobbies brutal like they used to, or you keep the mixed lobbies and you make entry costs more expensive.... or you go back to the previous system and adjust from there
It's still kind of a shame because these changes have made a LOT of casual people play ranked non stop. I know several folks who are still on the grind and feel accomplished whenever they go positive or rank up. It's tough to just say 'nah you're actually bad' and discourage them from trying in the first place, but still
Who the hell's gonna read these lmao I just had some free time to rant a bit thanks for reading if you did
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2023.06.07 15:35 The_ChadTC Stop mixing politics with Victoria 3. It's a damn map game.
This wasn't a problem with Victoria 2. I remember that way back when I wrote an absolutely massive post explaining in detail why subsidizing factories in Vic 2 was bad and counterproductive. There was controversy, but most of it was from people who didn't really grasp the economical system of the game, usually because there was one factor or another that they didn't know. Even then, they had a gripe with my theory, they pointed it out, and I replied, in a very civilized discussion about the game, even if we didn't reach a conclusion in the end.
But now recently I've made some posts on THE SAME SUBJECT in Victoria 3 and I received severe and, most importantly, angry backlash about it. Now, do I know everything? Yes. No, of course not, so I may even be wrong. However, in the various answers I received, there was a lot of conviction for very little knowledge and theory, and for every comment that tried to argue about the point, there were 5 others merely screaming the way people would in a political discussion.
It makes me angry because my political views in real life have very little in common with my meta in game. In the EU4 sub you can go "so yeah you should surrender all your provinces to your rivals and bankrupt yourself 3 times before 1500" and people will ask you why. In the Victoria 3 one you tell people to actually make sure their buildings are pulling a profit and they'll go "stfu ancap".
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2023.06.07 15:34 magisteralexander Tavern of the Lost [Online][Discord][Roll20][D&D5E][Oneshot][9th June @ 7 pm UTC/3 pm EDT][10$][PAID][New players friendly]
Travelling at Night is always a bad idea. Travelling in a Forest is always a bad idea. Doing both at the same time was destined to result in disaster and the pack of werewolves coming after you want to prove the point.
A light, a door, a sign. A Tavern.
Salvation.
A crackling fire, music, the smell of food and wine, the laughter of people
You enter
Salvation
In the depth of the Forest, far from civilization, a cozy Tavern welcomed you from the horrors outside
Salvation
As the door closes behind you, the Werewolf howls outside disappear. So does the laughter inside.
Salvation
Salvation always has a Price
System 5e
Participants 0/5
Cost $10 via
startplaying games Session: Oneshot
Time: Friday 9th June at 7 p.m. UTC / 3 p.m. EDT
Additional Notes: While this Oneshot will be a rework of the Grim Hollow Adventure of the same name, this game will be Setting Agnostic. All Characters will start as members of the same party
Feel free to message me for more information on the game.
Here's the link to the game Character Creation All characters will be at level 5
If you wish to bring your own, any official material is accepted. Homebrew will require my approval
If you aren't familiar with character creation or lack the time, pre-generated characters will be provided.
I'm also available to create a character for you, following your specifications
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2023.06.07 15:33 j3nnifercheck Workplace discrimination?
Hi, so I was wondering if anyone could give me advice and to be honest I just needed to write this down as I’m so angry.
I was offered a role last month as ‘autism employment specialist’ for a charity that specialises in helping people with mental illness in the workplace. I was so happy to be offered this role as I’d been unemployed for 5 months. I had originally just applied for the general ‘employment advisor’ role that would support people with mental illness in the role, but after I told them I had experience of working with autistic people and that a lot of my friends were autistic, as well as the fact they said I seemed ‘calm and methodical’, they pushed for me to apply for the autism employment advisor role instead during the interview, and 5 minutes later offered me the job.
I accepted the offer, and was sent a health declaration form. I put on the form the medication I’m on, as well as the fact I have syringomyelia (a condition that causes cysts to grow in the spine), OCD, generalised anxiety disorder, and depression. I wrote on the form the ADHD medications I take as well (Elvanse and atomoxetine). However, after I sent the form I realised I didn’t explicitly state that I had ADHD, it’s a new diagnosis for me so I just forgot to write it down. So I emailed them about 5 minutes after sending the form apologising that I had forgot to write down ADHD as it was a new diagnosis.
I am due to start next week. I just got a phone call saying that they’re not offering me the autism employment specialist role anymore as they think it will ‘trigger’ my ADHD. I explained to them that I did not think this is the case, my best friend is autistic and I have other friends on the spectrum. I have also worked on an eating disorder ward where several of the patients were autistic. At no point this triggered me. They said that they’d offer me the general employment specialist role instead but I actually think this will be more triggering for me, potentially dealing with people who are suicidal or self harming which is something I have personal experience of.
I just had an appointment with my psychologist and she’s angry for me. All my friends are angry for me. Everyone’s saying I’ve been discriminated against but I’m not sure what to do next. I want the autism employment specialist role. That is what I’ve spent the past month being excited to do and preparing myself for and now it’s just been taken away from me.
I am so angry and hurt. It feels like life is a never ending battle.
Thank you for reading this
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2023.06.07 15:33 gunny316 Red Dead Redemption Epilogue Bugs, Fixes, and Tips
RDR2 Red Dead Redemption Epilogue Bugs, Fixes, and Tips
The Epilogue doesn't have to be miserable. I love this game. Who knows how many hundreds of hours I've put into it, and honestly, I may play the epilogue for many hundreds more. However, Rockstar really dropped the ball in this particular portion. There's a few major bugs and some immersion-breaking crap that have to be compensated for. Luckily, I've found methods for most of these thanks to experimentation and the wonderfully helpful community of Reddit.
TIP 1. How to sleep in your own bed
- When "fast travel" appears, watch for the "R1" icon to appear underneath. Pressing it will change it to "sleep" or "sit".
- Curse the developer who definitely didn't stress test this mechanic.
TIP 2. How to get rid of all that fucking money
This is my personal least favorite part of the Epilogue. There's just too much money and nothing to do with it. If you're a witch, please curse whichever developer was responsible for not giving people the ability to donate cash to the household or something. Would have saved us all a lot of annoying meta gaming for to compensate.
Here are some work arounds to get you back to broke:
Shopping Sprees
This seems obvious and is the safest, least immersion-breaking option.
Buy everything. I've read that everything in the stables - saddles and everything, plus all the outfits, plus all the guns amounts to something like over 15 grand. That should get rid of a good portion in fairly short order.
Pump and Dump
This is slightly immersion breaking and takes a bit of time, but it should be safe from errors.
This requires the Legendary Satchel to really do well. Figure out what sort of items you can discard, then buy out the grocery stores of all those items, discard them all, and repeat. An item worth $4.50 should get rid of $450 per purchase. This might take a while if you're trying to burn a lot of cash, but if you're down to like $4000 or so, it might be faster than Ranching or Killing Sprees.
Ranching
This method doesn't break immersion, but is slightly more dangerous than the shopping sprees in terms of causing errors. Try not to max out the stable while doing this as it seems to cause glitches and may block you from selling horses after a while. Sell all of your horses when you start and make sure you always have some open stalls.
I like to roleplay while doing this - imaging that buying the expensive horse is an investment, and when it's "sold" (dropped as a temporary horse), Abigail and the kid get the profits. I lose money, and I don't break the immersion.
- Go to the stables in blackwater and buy the most expensive horse.
- Ride back home to the pen.
- Unsaddle the expensive horse
- Saddle one of your cheap horses, then unsaddle it. Your expensive horse becomes temporary.
- Saddle a different one of your cheap horses, then unsaddle it. Your expensive horse becomes your secondary temporary.
- Oftentimes there's only a couple of these horses in your pen - so ride around the fields of blackwater a find a new, wild horse to tame.
- Saddle up your new wild horse, and the expensive horse disappears because you can only have two temporary horses.
- Repeat.
Killing Sprees
It doesn't get rid of a ton of money compared to $20,000, but killing sprees in the middle of town can net up to $1500 in bounties if you survive long enough. It's not very efficient.
TIP 3. Stuff to do
It may seem at first that the Epilogue is pointless and without goals - but let me assure you there's lots to do.
- Side Quests - Obviously besides the main story line there are a fair amount of sidequests and easter eggs. I won't divulge all of these here.
- Gangs - There's a ton of gang hideouts in New Austin that you can clear out, as well as some drama in Tumbleweed you can participate in.
- Collecting - This is, in my opinion, a more boring goal, but it's there none-the-less for all you completionists out there. Cigarette cards to collect, saddles to buy, weapon upgrades, places to discover, people to kill, etc. etc.
- Burning Cash - See my previous entry on getting yourself back to broke. Honestly this is probably one of the toughest "quests" Rockstar unintentionally put into the epilogue.
Once those four major goals are complete, I've found myself happily passing back and forth between "Order" and "Chaos".
- Order - Working on the homestead, eating dinner with your family, doing the chores, protecting the livestock from the predators just outside the gate, getting drunk in the bars, shave every day, get your haircut, look prim and proper, take train rides to the city, spend frivolously on food and drink, start fights, get arrested. Ah, the rich life. I like incorporating Ranching (mentioned in the previous section) into my Orderly phase until I've run out of money. Then I go Nomad.
- Chaos - When farm life has you bored, go Nomad for a while. This means staying away from towns for as long as you can. Camp every night. Take care of your horse. Drink and smoke under the stars. No haircuts, no baths, no shopping. Get your food from the land, get your alcohol, ammo, and cigarettes from highway robbery, burglary, hunting, and raiding (don't forget your bandana). Live wild and free as a brigand on the road and see how much money you can make. Camp out every night. Unsaddle your horse while camping and tell it to flee so it can have a little freedom every day. Keep your horse well fed and brushed. Collect herbs when you can, and only eat meals you can cook with them. Do what you can to pay off your bounties.
Bugs and "Fixes"
BUG: Chores are whacked out, can't sell goods / complete chores
- Given the consistency of this issue, if you're a witch, please curse the developer who definitely didn't stress test this mechanic.
- If you can't sell eggs or milk, it's best to give it up for that day and try again tomorrow. Make sure you do the chores one at a time and try not to skip ahead. Once you deliver one chicken feed bag, sometimes it says you can feed the chickens now. This is, what I can only surmise, an attempt at trolling by the developers. Do not listen. Finish all of the bags before touching that chicken feed. Don't attempt to load the wagon until everything else is done. Maybe it will work.
BUG: You can't sell horses to the stable right now
- If you're a witch, please curse the developer who implemented this mechanic.
- Save your game and reload
- wait a day or so in game by sleeping or camping (of course this is limited too because some asshole at Rockstar thought "sleeping" was overpowered)
- wait an hour IRL
- break a wild horse or go to your ranch and take a wild horse from the pen. Move your saddle to this horse, then go to the stable and see if it lets you sell it. If not, saddle a different horse and repeat this until you find a horse that can be sold. I suspect a wild horse may work better, as perhaps the penned horses are all the same
- If all else fails, run your horse off a cliff. It's not as terrible as using dynamite or firebombs, and frankly, this is not your fault. Rockstar is the real villain here. They should have included an option for a mercy killing, but they didn't. Now we have to do it the hard way. Which sucks, honestly, because I really love the horses in this game and it's a shame if you've gotten to this point trying to fix a glitch.
BUG: Saddle disappears after placing on the ground:
- A comical message appears after the remove your saddle and place it on the ground at the ranch that says something like "items you drop on the ranch are always put in convenient locations."
- This is both hilarious and infuriating, because the only thing you can drop really is the saddle, and the game likes to often relocate it to the very top of your house where you can't reach it.
- The quickest solution is to fast travel to Blackwater from your bed, then go to the stables and retrieve your saddle from there.
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2023.06.07 15:33 Dorianscale Help! Two lights in series work separately but not together and only at night.
I have two garden lights that come out of a small brick wall in front of our house. I suspect this is a DIY job from the previous owner. It’s worked perfectly for years, I’ve replaced bulbs, but since the last time I replaced bulbs only one lamp will turn on at a time.
I cannot figure out how it works. I had thought one of the lamps was broken but then I realized the lamp that was on was changing from night to night.
They’re both in a series. If you unscrew one bulb the other will turn off too.
Since the last time I switched bulbs, only one light will turn on at once, if you unplug the bulb that is off, the other still turns off.
I cannot find any way to control the lights. There is no switch for them anywhere.
They only come on at night. I have no idea what is dictating how they turn on. I suspected that there was a dusk to dawn socket adapter in each lamp but I’ve taken it apart and it doesn’t seem to be the case. I did switch to brighter bulbs when they stopped working together, but I tried putting in dimmer bulbs again and it’s the same behavior. I also tried putting a box over the off light while the other was on in case the light pollution was messing with a daylight sensor, and nothing happened. I’ve never caught the moment they came on, but before they broke I never saw one on and not the other, vs other photosensitive garden lights I have tend to come on sporadically around dusk rather than all at once.
The light that is off or on is fairly random though it will be one way for the whole night. Some nights the left one is on other nights the right one.
If you unscrew both bulbs, screw the left in, then the right, the left one will turn on and the right will not. If you do the right one first, the right one will turn on.
However if the left one is currently on, and you unscrew one but not both, the left one is the bulb that will continue and vice versa. (They won’t switch places unless you unscrew both, or they both turn off for day time)
If you go to the “off lamp” and check the wires with a voltage meter while the other is on you get 120vac from the wires feeding the feeding the off lamp. But if you unscrew both bulbs, there is no current.
I’ve taken the lamps off the wall and can access where they were wired up, but I can’t follow where the wires go because they run through the brick wall and into the walls of the house at some point.
How do I get both bulbs to turn on at once again? I have been using led bulbs but I haven’t tried incandescent in a while.
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2023.06.07 15:32 gecattic [5000] Yea Boyz #9R9PL2YC Constant war Requests filled Adult Teamwork Legendary League
Yea Boyz are a close-knit adult clan based in the USA. We are active in chat, as well as active in donations. Our goal is to have a clan that is competitive but also puts an emphasis on enjoying the game. We're in legendary league, and are accepting anybody who has solid war history, and over 5000 trophies. If you have less trophies than that, we can make an exception with a good war history. While we are competitive, we also understand that clash royale is a game, and we treat it as such.
The rules are simple: no racism is tolerated, and you must get a minimum amount of points per week in war. The amount will be sent through clan mail each week. The path for promotion is simple: war often, be consistent, donate and be active in chat!
Discord is available. Mention 'reddit' in your application to join.
Have fun and enjoy the game, and we hope to meet you soon!
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2023.06.07 15:32 Hippo_luvv I think it's important to remember that this team goes as far as the Jays takes it
We have 2 All NBA caliber players and when they lights are brightest they need to be on.
We fought and scrapped our way through a 6 game series that should have been done in 4-5, and then a 7 game series where we dropped a home game against a team that didn't have the MVP, so that series should have been done in at least 6. By the time we got to Miami Brown was hurt, Brogdon was hurt, Tatum got hurt, Rob was sick (which could be attributed to exhaustion, Horford is old he's not built for 20+ playoff games.
Both Tatum and Brown was a drop in PPG from there regular season production to their playoff production. Tatum scored 2.9 fewer points and Brown scored 3.9 points fewer in the playoffs.
Here are some of the stars who brought their a game to the playoffs:
Nikola Jokic +5.9 ppg
Jamal Murray +7 ppg
Jimmy Butler +4.4 ppg
These are the guys leading their teams to the finals. Depth and minor tweaks help, but when Tatum and Brown regress against playoff defenses, our role players have to be almost perfect to win games. Role players are going to be up and down game to game. Grant will score 15 in one game and 3 in another and that's expected. Brown and Tatum need to combine for 50+ points every night out.
I'll also say, they got to game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals. That's better than how 27 other teams ended their seasons. This season was very successful and the roster works, it just didn't end with a ring. The answer is to run it back, and hope Brown and Tatum actually play to their potential in the playoffs. The answer isn't to trade Brown for "depth". We have depth. Unless Jaylen is traded for an all NBA caliber player its a bad trade. The guys I'm seeing suggested aren't leading their teams to shit.
The answer is to run it back, and hope Brown and Tatum are ready to dominate in the playoffs.
TLDR;
You go as far as your stars bring you, and despite the loss, game 7 of the ECF is a positive result.
Trading Brown for 2-3 rotation players or a project sets us back massively. The answer is to run if back with the same crew.
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2023.06.07 15:32 LiterallyImMeNotYou Google retaliating against developers for class action lawsuit??
I've had an app on the Google Play store for over 3 years without issue. Within weeks of each other, I received an email saying I am entitled to money from a class action lawsuit from Google. And another email saying my payments have been suspended and they need more information.
My app is a habit tracker app. All payments are made from the Android app, to Google, and they are supposed to pay us monthly.
I have submitted over five times now. Their question is:
Add details about the activity on your account. Then share your relationship with your buyers, and the business reasons for recent payments they've made to you. Most recently I submitted this response:
This is habit tracker app, called [name].The only payments we receive are from users who want to upgrade to a premium membership, which will get them an ad free experience, and access to a premium chat group where users can talk to others who are quitting. This app has been in the app store for over 3 years without issue. Memberships include $25 for lifetime access, or $7/month. Previous upgrades included $2/month for ad free only. Please note their country's exchange rate may vary in the exact price they pay. And in less than an hour I receive this email:
We can't verify your payment information for the following reason(s): •The rationale doesn’t explain the source of funds. Please fix these issues and re-submit your information. Like... wtf does that mean?? Is it only a coincidence they are having to pay us for this class action lawsuit AND are now refusing to pay us money users think is going to the developers (which btw I had nothing to do with the lawsuit. I just received a random email informing me I'm entitled to money - I don't have anything to do with the actual lawsuit).
Has anyone else experienced this issue and actually resolved it? I'm so mad I'm at the point I'd rather pull the app from the Google Play store, instead of allowing Google to profit off my hard work. Google and Apple are bullies and have a clear monopoly. They give literally 0 rational or directions, force you to
only use their payment processor and pay 15-30% (most processors charge 3%), and can just take your money for no reason, if they decide they want to.
For those who don't know about the lawsuit - this is what the email explained:
In this class action lawsuit pending against Google, Plaintiffs claimed that Google monopolized (or attempted to monopolize) alleged markets related to the distribution of Android OS apps and in-app products, and engaged in unlawful tying conduct, in violation of U.S. and California law. If you are a U.S. app developer that has earned not more than $2,000,000 per year selling apps and digital content in the Google Play store, you are entitled to an automatic payment ranging from $250 to amounts exceeding $200,000.
(also posted in
googleplay) truly hoping to hear from someone who actually resolved this issue, and how.)
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2023.06.07 15:32 Gold-Spell-801 I (F19) am torn between my two best friends (M19) and (M18)
Hi all. I F19 am torn between two people I’m interested in M18 and M19.
I’ve been struggling for a while on this whole situation. I have decided to start dating again after my last relationship ended poorly due to him, going to jail, which I will not disclose anything else here just the fact that he went there. So I obviously started flirting with people and getting around and kind of putting myself back up on the scene and I really didn’t expect that I’d have to make this decision. One of the people I’m interested in is my guy, best friend(M19) who I’ve known for seven years, we’ve had things on and off over the years, but as of now it’s gotten pretty serious, and the other best friend (M18), I met off of a mutual friend online, and I’ve been friends with him for about a few months now.
I have been stressing over this for a few weeks now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m so stressed out and nervous about this whole situation that I’ve gotten sick because of it because of lack of sleep and other things. Both guys I’m interested in have redeeming qualities and I like both of them. I just hate rejecting people. I’m a very non-confrontational person and really don’t like to have that awkward situation with someone after you rejected them.
My guy best friend(M19), he’s here where I live. He’s really good with my family specifically, my little sister who is obsessed with him. He does a lot for me and we hang out every weekend and have spent a lot of time flirting and everything. He also met my mom before she passed away and we both can cope with that. my issues I have with him is that he’s been my best friend for so long that if we were to get together and have a serious relationship and break off, it would be really bad. I’m also worried how our friendship would be after I reject him and how that would turn out like that. I go over to his house all the time and vice versa so a lot of my time that I spend getting out rather than just staying home will pretty much be out of the window. I am also afraid that if we’re in a relationship, I won’t wanna go much farther than casual dating because I’m afraid of the seriousness and doing sexual stuff with him considering the fact he’s still my best friend.
My online best friend(M18) has been fun to hang out with and the chemistry is there. I get along well with his friends and we talk a lot on video games and connect with each other a lot over text. Issues I have are that he’s out of state and even though the distance will close with him going to college it’s still tough. I’m also hesitant because none of my online relationships in the past have worked due to other things but he seems like he’s actively willing to work for this. He also is someone I can go to about sexual stuff. I don’t feel uncomfortable when I talk to him and times where he gets heated are fun and interesting.
Both guys I’m interested in will be alright with what I choose and won’t be angry. If I say no to both of them or whatever I choose. I’m just so stressed out about this because I haven’t really had to do this really ever in my life. Both give me the princess treatment and treat me well, and I reciprocate in my own way, Whether that be buying them things or spending time with them.
Sorry if this post is shallow or if it sounds bad I just am really lost on what to do. I don’t know if I should just stay single and just wait or if I should choose one over the other I just can’t be stressed out about this anymore. I am willing to accept any advice if someone has some and what possible things to do.
TLDR: F/19 is torn between her irl best friend of 7 Years M/19 and her online Best friend M/18.
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2023.06.07 15:32 Rbk_3 Post in my local town’s group
2023.06.07 15:31 RepublicSlow The truths and inaccuracies of Islam
It doesn't matter what you want, it doesn't matter what I want either, not really. The sole purpose Allah created humans was to worship him. For us to recognize the greatness of our creator. That is why as muslims we believe the soul is nourished when you pray to Allah.
Alot of people are so egotistical. They make themselves the center of the universe. They worship themselves. If an athiest was in a plane as it hurdled to the earth at high speeds, his gut would curl and as he realized his life was already over, his ego would disintegrate. Most athiests are already nihilistic cowards.
In that moment he would realize the most dependable force that could bring him to safety at that moment was anyone but himself. Unless Allah wanted to give a select few on that plane a chance to continue living to repent nothing could save the athiest.
His social circle of like minded narcissists he would giggle with about foolish people who feared god would not be able to come to his aid!
Why does God cause calamities if he's good??? God is evil!!! (Making a mockery) the ego in that question is already clear. You most likely haven't done much for society but god is evil when he does something you don't understand or people you don't know were hurt.
Where did that conscious come from all of a sudden? Wow you must really care about humanity! Tell me more about all the charitable acts you've never done that make you value another humans life so much. For someone who doesn’t even think life has a purpose its an interesting position to argue from. It almost sounds disinguous for someone who doesn’t value the beauty of creation and it’s divinely inspired intracacies who also thinks its random to use that as a point of contetion for gods existense. Most people that do charity work out of pure kindness of their heart don't ever tell others and they usually don't have an ego.
Even religions that make enlightment the goal are weird. Why are you so obsessed with yourself? Life is all about worshipping Allah and showing him appreciation no matter the outcome is or the circumstances you live in.
Some people are like bitter kids who when things don't go their way they want to rebel or hate their parents. Sometimes every proof can be given but their ego and self obsession make em biased and emotional. Athiesm is a religion of worshipping yourself.
Allah chooses to be merciful upon you and you could never do anything to deserve the blessings he has given you or do enough to be worthy of Jannah. It is by his mercy that you might one day enter paradise. What could you, a measly human do to be worthy of anything god has created?, you can't even make a fly.
People think they have vast knowledge and logic and try to make loopholes and scenarios that make Allah look evil. Anything can be evil when you don't understand context or the end goal. But you also aren't someone who even knows when you will die, humble yourself.
You're just emotional or brainwashed by other egotistical people or cultures around you that make you feel like you matter but you mask it by acting like you're unbiased or scientific. Yeah ok buddy🤡, for someone who is so independent of islam or religion its weird for you to be on a forum with other like minded ex muslims. Like im not in a forum called non atheist. Obsessed.
submitted by
RepublicSlow to
exmuslim [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 15:30 kingfiasco [Lucky Guess] 6/7
Oh boy, that did not end well last night. Gonna be a tough one against Burnes tonight, no pressure on Kremer to keep the runs off the board until they can get to the Brewers bullpen. Although, the O's have somehow managed to turn the offense into over gear against team aces so who even knows what the bats will do tonight.
No winners from last night :(
Lucky Guess Standings Rank | User | Exact | '+/- 1 | Lost Tiebreaker | Points |
1 | 95ludeman | 2 | 1 | 0 | 13 |
2 | tehow5 | 1 | 6 | 0 | 12 |
3 | jaxjag91 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 9 |
3 | TommyPickles2222222 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 9 |
4 | kingfiasco | 1 | 2 | 0 | 8 |
4 | Chizzleslip | 1 | 2 | 0 | 8 |
5 | StevenGlanzberg | 1 | 1 | 0 | 7 |
5 | RiesenTiger | 1 | 1 | 0 | 7 |
5 | Letsgoos19 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 7 |
5 | bromanow025 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 7 |
5 | therealjimothyjimson | 1 | 1 | 0 | 7 |
5 | Gumboy52 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 7 |
6 | TOS1998 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 |
6 | OrangeBuffalo8 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 6 |
6 | harriswk17 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 |
6 | greenjacket23 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 |
6 | Billdozer2000 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 |
6 | AlexOhanianSr | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 |
6 | hcshock | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 |
6 | malkusm | 0 | 4 | 1 | 6 |
7 | zombiereign | 0 | 3 | 1 | 5 |
7 | bpopo329 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 5 |
7 | WillieKeeler96 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 5 |
7 | King_Clitoris | 0 | 5 | 0 | 5 |
7 | GoOrioles7 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 5 |
7 | DrThorntonMelon | 0 | 5 | 0 | 5 |
7 | DrDinglberry | 0 | 5 | 0 | 5 |
8 | Ndysmth | 0 | 4 | 0 | 4 |
8 | DudeFoSho | 0 | 2 | 1 | 4 |
8 | BeinGetz | 0 | 2 | 1 | 4 |
9 | samir_katta | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
9 | imean | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
9 | gnarkilleptic | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 |
9 | ccmckee | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
9 | Bmoreorioles1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 |
9 | Puddenfoot | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 |
9 | DaddyHausen | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 |
9 | Fangscale40K | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 |
9 | bardster1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 |
9 | RumHamAndPineapple | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 |
10 | zeromoustafa0 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 |
10 | wodandos | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
10 | waker94 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 |
10 | OMGisitOVERyet | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
10 | Music_Ordinary | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 |
10 | joystick13 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 |
10 | Jormmy-NcKegHook | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
10 | jeffreythecat1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 |
10 | Evanevan22 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
10 | BlueHenCountry | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 |
10 | Azzazzyn | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
10 | averyorioles | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 |
10 | andrew-ge | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 |
11 | Tardisheart | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | Shiderme | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | SellTheTeamDan | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | Ok-Establishment-240 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | MrTallGreg | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | LoraxEleven | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | jjk2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | gzawaodni | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | Entertainmentguru | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | ClimAx_D2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | CBennett1497 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | bablume | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | Affectionate_Tune481 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
11 | JAMONLEE | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
Comments must include: - Final Score (winner must be specified)
- Tiebreaker question
- Format: [Score] [Winner] [Tiebreaker]
All guesses must be submitted by the posted start time to qualify. Score will be as follows: - Exact guess = 6 points
- Off by one run = 1 point
- In the event of a tie, the loser of the tiebreaker scores 2 points
If two users pick the same score with the same tiebreaker, the person who submitted their guess first will be awarded the 6 points. The same rule will apply when two tiebreakers guesses are equally close to the actual result. Score will be tallied each night and updated in wiki. They will also appear in the "Standings" section of future Lucky Guess posts. Now let's play ball!
Tiebreaker for today is number of double plays turned by the Orioles.
As always, please do not upvote or downvote any guessing comment until after the game is over and the winner is determined, then upvote the winner. Matchup Statistics
You can find the lineups
here before game time.
Orioles Starting Pitcher | Throws | W-L | IP | K% | BB% | GB% | BABIP | FIP |
Dean Kremer | R | 6-2 | 65 | 19.6% | 6.9% | 35.3% | .330 | 4.59 |
Brewers Starting Pitcher | Throws | W-L | IP | K% | BB% | GB% | BABIP | FIP |
Corbin Burnes | R | 4-4 | 69.2 | 22.8% | 9.7% | 41.4% | .240 | 4.59 |
Good luck!
submitted by
kingfiasco to
orioles [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 15:30 ZeldaMod [TotK] Daily Questions and Answers: Get help Megathread! (06/07/2023)
Need real-time help?
Join our discord! and ask in #totk-help. Stuck? Ask a question - Get Help!
Please try and help users by answering their questions! If you want to get a notification when someone makes a new top-level comment here, then you can follow this post.
Spoiler Policy
>> Read the spoiler policy here. << Give us feedback on the Spoiler Policy here.
TL;DR: - Major locations/temples and major character names will be allowed in titles with the release of the game.
- Titles must still be vague and cannot divulge storylines. Boss names, dungeon weapons/abilities, and plot points are not allowed in titles.
- Titles must begin with [TotK] when discussing the game and posts must be tagged as spoilers or they will be removed.
- Mark spoilers in the comments based on the progress indicated in the post title. Comments must mark their spoilers using this syntax:
>!spoiler text here!< =
spoiler text here.
TIPS AND QUESTIONS could have spoilers in them! BEWARE ALL THOSE WHO ENTER! Minor spoilers will be below about weapons, bosses, locations, etc. But someone might ask a question regarding a moment that has happened you have not experienced. So please know what you are entering.
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We have an officially partnered
/Zelda Discord Server. Join us by using this link:
https://discord.gg/rzelda More Megathreads + Upcoming Schedule
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full schedule here.
submitted by
ZeldaMod to
zelda [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 15:29 Formal_Gur_1220 [Hire Me] A Verified Reddit Freelance Writer (The Best Choice)
Hello, my name is Jason, an accomplished writer offering quality services at an affordable rate. I am an expert in APA 6th/7th edition, MLA, Chicago, Harvard, IEEE, Vancouver, and many other writing styles.
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submitted by
Formal_Gur_1220 to
DoMyAssignments [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 15:29 MrsNacho8000 OldRecipes will be going dark on June 12th in protest of Reddit's API Changes that will kill 3rd party apps!
Dear OldRecipes Community,
Today, we want to discuss an urgent matter that affects everyone on Reddit. As you may be aware, the recent announcement made by Reddit regarding their APIs have raised significant concerns within the Reddit community.
Starting on July 1st, Reddit has unilaterally decided to impose exorbitant charges on third-party app developers (Relay, Reddit is Fun, Apollo, Baconreader, Narwhal etc.) for utilizing their API. This decision has far-reaching consequences that not only hinder app developers but also affect the experience of moderators and users alike. Unfortunately, this will also affect many people with disabilities who use third party apps to make Reddit accessible for them.
In response to this situation,
oldrecipes is joining with other subreddit communities and their respective mod teams in a coordinated effort. We believe that unity is essential in driving change and advocating for the rights of app developers and the overall user experience. To amplify our message and demonstrate the strength of our concerns, this subreddit will be participating in a temporary blackout starting on June 12th, lasting for 48 hours.
During this blackout period, the subreddit will be set to private, rendering it inaccessible to all users. This collective action is intended to raise awareness and urge Reddit to reconsider their recent API changes. Our primary goal is to initiate a productive dialogue with Reddit, leading to a reversal of the detrimental modifications they have implemented.
We understand that this blackout may cause temporary inconvenience to our community, and for that, we apologize. However, we firmly believe that this short-term disruption will bring long-term benefits for every user. By standing together with other subreddit communities, we hope to send a clear message to Reddit and foster a meaningful conversation about the future of their API policies.
In the meantime, we encourage you to let reddit know that you disagree with their planned changes
There are a few ways you can express your concerns:
- Email Reddit ([[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])) or create a support ticket to communicate your opposition to their proposed modifications.
- Share your thoughts on other social media platforms, spreading awareness about the issue.
- Show your support by participating in the Reddit boycott for 48 hours, starting on June 12th.
We appreciate your understanding, support, and active participation in this important endeavor. It is through the strength and dedication of our community that we can strive for a better Reddit experience for everyone involved.
Thank you!
(PS - Before anyone else points it out, yes, the wording of this post was stolen almost verbatim from
pics. I don't think they'll mind.)
submitted by
MrsNacho8000 to
oldrecipes [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 15:29 KrevinCupine It Just Feels Useless To Use FHA
I'm genuinely close to giving up here. Every single time I find a house that fits within my budget and checks the boxes, I get beat out by someone whos willing to waive inspections. Whats the point of FHA if no one is going to accept an offer from someone using it? I'm just tired of being jerked around. How the hell does anyone do this? I can go 20k - 30k over asking and still get rejected.
submitted by
KrevinCupine to
FirstTimeHomeBuyer [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 15:29 Myownchef Crates Are a Joke
I committed the sin of paying to open crates; SuperCrates, to see if I could get some of the new cards. I want to mix it up a little. All that I got was 300+ energon on most crates. They want people to pay for energon only on super crates. If they can’t guarantee people the cards they are missing in crates what’s the point. All other cards I have are maxed. This is the flaw in paying right now. All the current players have maxed cards and it will kill new players to grind and pay to open crates with no guarantee you won’t get a nerfed card, I mean i they want is “level 9” drone cards.
submitted by
Myownchef to
TransformersTactical [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 15:29 lawofmurphy RateMyLeague - Free Detailed League Ranking PDF Reports
Hey there,
RML's free league-ranking PDF reports are up and running. Last year, over 2,500 dynasty leagues ran RML reports. I know there are a number of very cool power ranking tools out there these days, but I think RateMyLeague's offers a unique perspective. They also work for (almost) every league imaginable. They work for MFL, Sleeper, Fleaflicker, and ESPN (and maybe Yahoo but I'm not sure they've opened for 2023 yet). They work for 96-team leagues, IDP leagues, and just about everything in between. Another bonus is that I use the basic league info to do a cool little
census report that I post on the sub. I think it's a great barometer of what kind of leagues are out there. So running a report helps give me more reliable data!
RML PDF Reports Teams are ranked based on the following:
Redraft Consensus Value - Redraft value is broken down into projected starting value and then overall roster value. Within this, league scoring (Standard, HPPR, PPR) will impact the player rankings. The tool automatically detects Superflex/2QB set-ups and adjusts values for that. It also will automatically detect TE Premium scoring systems and adjust player values for it.
Dynasty Consensus Value - Dynasty value is just based on full-roster consensus dynasty value. In the report, players that gain or lose significant dynasty value are marked with the value change in orange (positive dyn change) or blue (negative dyn change).
Future Draft Capital - A team’s draft portfolio will obviously impact the strength of a franchise’s position. RML uses DYNAMIC draft pick valuation. I.E - Picks belonging to STRONG redraft teams are devalued and picks belonging to WEAK redraft teams are boosted. Picks in orange are INCOMING draft picks from weak redraft rosters. Picks in blue are INCOMING draft picks from strong redraft rosters. The biggest change I made this year is that I am dynamically weighting future draft capital depending on the team situation. Meaning, "productive struggle" teams have a higher draft capital weight as part of their team score. It's the aimless, go nowhere teams that should fall to the bottom of the rankings this year.
IDP Redraft Value - Obviously only applies to IDP leagues, but should adjust to Sleeper’s IDP system (DL/LB/DB), MFL’s default system (DT/DE/LB/CB/S), or Fleaflicker’s TruePos (IL/EDLB/CB/S)
All of that gets boiled down into a team-score (out of 10) and that’s how teams are ranked.
Generally, all dollar values are based on a $200 cap, but for SF/2QB leagues, it’s more like $250 and with IDP, it’s more than that. If you have a 48+ team league, the average roster will fall to $150 or so.
From there, I track more stuff that doesn’t impact the rankings but is fun to look at:
- Each position shows the starter value/rank (black) and total value/rank (gray) in the league.
- The $ figure next to each player is the consensus redraft auction value. If the player gains or loses a significant amount of dynasty value, it'll be shown in orange (positive dyn change) or blue (negative dyn change)
- If your league ran an RML report last year, last year’s RML ranks (redraft, dyn, draft capital, team score) will be shown to compare with this year’s.
- If your league is on MFL/Sleeper and is not a 2023 startup, each franchise’s record + avg weekly points from all previous years will be displayed (broken into “last year”, “last 3 years” and “all time”)
- If your league is on MFL/Sleeper and is not a 2023 startup, it’ll show Key Additions/Subtractions, which are players that are/are not on each team’s roster this year that were on the team LAST year and have at least $1 of redraft value.
- The first chart shows the percentile ranks for each of the major factors that go into a team’s ranking (blue boxes) and the percentile rank of the teamscore (orange box)
- The second chart shows the percentile rank of each team’s starters/total value by position.
- RML staff value has a miniscule impact on rankings and acts as a tie-breaker at most.
- Helmet Stickers are just supposed to be fun achievements/awards and don’t have any impact on team rankings.
Reports are running fairly quickly but I still can only run so many at a time so if the queue builds up, it could result in longer back-ups…but the reports will eventually run. Please let me know if anything looks wrong or doesn’t work with a report.
submitted by
lawofmurphy to
DynastyFF [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 15:27 3STmotivation F3 Uranium gears up for an exciting PLN Summer drilling program
As we get into the Summer months, there will be plenty of drilling programs that are going to get underway in the Athabasca Basin, but I would argue there are few who can match the potential that F3 Uranium is chasing in their upcoming program. By current calculations, the company already has between 15 and 20 million pounds of high grade uranium in the ground. The depth at which they found this uranium is also encouraging and what makes me excited about the upcoming drilling campaign, is that they will be focusing on the various parts of the conductor that could hold more high grade uranium. It’s expected that the company will drill around 30 holes to drill more prospective targets and if previous step-outs are any indication, there is plenty of potential there. The previous 60 meter step-out hole to the south already showed some absolutely world class intervals, with 14.5 meters @ 9.4% U3O8, 5 meters @ 26.7% U3O8 and a massive 2.5 meters @ 45.6% U3O8. There was even a pitch black sample in there that graded at over 65% U3O8, which speaks to the potential of the mineralized system. Combined with other great results that included numbers like 5.5 meters @ 18.6% U3O8 and 1 meter at almost 60% U3O8 and one can see that the mineralization continues along strike and up-dip towards the unconformity. It certainly feels like this mineralized system has a lot more to offer, which will be targeted this Summer.
I recommend looking at the previous news releases and reading my previous posts on this discovery, as those puzzle pieces will tell you that this discovery is still completely open up-dip. This is significant because, as the company has rightly pointed out, they hit the aforementioned 65% U3O8 in a shear zone that was very close to the unconformity. The reason why I want to highlight this, is because when uranium deposits breach the unconformity, there is a chance that there is a major amount of high grade mineralization that can be found in the unconformity itself. If that is indeed the case and the upcoming drilling program shows that, the sky will be the limit in terms of how big and high grade this deposit could be. It’s also important to note that this unconformity continues towards the south along a lengthy 3 kilometer conductor, where we could see more high grade breaches of said unconformity that could be explored. That is when this story goes from exciting to incredible, if we do see a continuity of high grade mineralization along the unconformity towards the south.
What am I expecting from this Summer? While betting on exploration success can be risky, given all the challenges that come with it, a calculated assessment can be made based on what we know about the geology and what the previous step-out holes from the initial discovery have told us. As I noted above, the company will have some clear targets for step-outs along the conductor and the unconformity itself. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the company hit more high grade uranium and potentially catch up to ISO Energy, who have their own ~50 million high grade uranium asset. That will certainly be great, but once again we will have to wait and see what the drilling results tell us as those come in over the coming months. Thank you for reading, I hope it proved to be informative! I am a shareholder of the company myself (and have recently bought more on the dip) and the post was created in collaboration and compensated by the company. The company still remains an explorer of course and there are risks to take into account, so please always also do your own due diligence and consider your risk tolerance and portfolio strategy, as this is not investment advice. I hope that this update provided a good springboard for your own due diligence into the company and as always if you have any comments or questions, please let me know. Have a good and healthy rest of your day and keep your head up, there are better times ahead for the uranium space!
TLDR: F3 Uranium is gearing up for their Summer drilling program and if their previous drilling results are anything to go by, it is shaping up to be a massive few months for the company. I am excited to see what the company does over the coming months, as previous step-outs have indicated that this mineralized system holds a significant amount of potential. They will target an expansion of the JR zone and further exploration along the Main Shear Zone conductor and the unconformity (which could host more of that ultra-high grade uranium if those previous results indeed show that it has breached the unconformity itself). Could we see more world-class hits into the unconformity or rather a bigger step-out that shows the mineralization continues south? Perhaps we see both and a potential test of the connected zones. That all remains to be seen, but there are certainly exciting times ahead for the company and if they can deliver the same quality results that they have done previously, the market will likely react in kind. Thank you for reading!
submitted by
3STmotivation to
UraniumSqueeze [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 15:27 sad_old_boy Almost 39 and feel like I'm done
This is probably going to be all over the place, but thank you if you can get through that.
As I understand now I grew up very naive and a lot of people took a lot of advantage from me. And for today I seem to be a total failure at every aspect of my life.
I suppose I was a but autistic as a kid (though I never had a proper diagnosis), so I never fully understood my classmates or people in general. But I was really good at almost every discipline at school (I have all A certificate and I was one of the best graduates of my school).
Though my father very often found a reason that I should be punished. Corporally. He often left me all black and blue, but under the clothes, because his parents and my mother (and he himself) were very respected people in education and medical system of my town. This is also was one of the reason that I couldn't behave improperly anywhere, because a lot of people knew who my parents were and could tell them if I did anywhere anything wrong. I was also teased at school, because I was studying for almost all As (as it was kinda easy for me), but were not very social. I didn't get the jokes very often and was very cumbersome and naive and easy to make laugh at. But I couldn't make a fight to defend myself, because they instantly took me to principal, besause I was a child of a teacher. And it meant more abusing or beating at home.
Together with corporal punishment he verbally and mentally abused me very often asking me questions that I had to answer like "how should I punish you for this" and it always should've been beating me and any other option would lead to a question "do you think this would be enough for that misbehavior?" and the right answer should be "no, it's not enough", but of course I didn't want to say that. But I couldn't leave until he gets the right answer and I'd get beaten up by his belt. And we could spend literally half a day like that. Like I could get home from school at 2 pm and if he was at home he could do it till the late evening. And I remember that awfully heavy atmosphere at home.
When I was 10 I was sexually assaulted by a stranger in the elevator of our home, who threatened me with a knife if I make a sound or try to do anything. This man was never found. I don't think I still feel anything about that. It wasn't that scary as going back home and it stopped my father's abuse for some time. But I thought that I couldn't get away because it felt like everybody everywhere knew my somebody from family. Of course now I understand that it's wrong, but it took me long to really understand that.
But I had a lot of energy. I literally couldn't shut up during classes as I knew all the answers almost instantly and didn't understand why it is hard for the others, so it didn't help to build good relationship with my classmates either. But I couldn't defend myself.
I lost my only friend who got fed up that I decided to play video games when he came to visit me. Right now I understand that it was my dependent behavior that manifested early as a video games escapism. Now I'm thinking that it was also weird, because I clearly remember spending hours at his house watching him playing his games. So probably I could solve it. Or probably he was looking for an excuse to make some distance with me as I have progressively got very weird in my teen age, so he probably started feeling very awkward and didn't know how to speak to me as I was interested only in music and girls. And because I was not popular at all, I was fully into music. He was not at all. He was an easy fellow. Pretty simple, but a good and nice person I have to say. Against him I don't hold any grudge.
Since childhood I was passionate about music. Rock, metal - that was my thing. Pantera especially :)
But of course my parents were against me making music. Each time I started playing or practicing guitar my father came to tell me to go wash dishes or wash the floor or whatever. They've heard that IT becomes the new big thing so they sent me to the technical university. The one that it not far from home, because suddenly SUDDENLY they were sure I was not ready to live by myself in the university dormitory. I obeyed again.
Anyway I socialized better in the university. I got into a student group of really nice people with the same intellectual level with me and they were really very very kind. Sometimes I spent days not seeing my parents. My father stopped beating me till black and blue, though there still were cuffs and slaps and punches and he loved to kick my things and take my guitar or my computer from me or disable my music system for weeks, so I "would study better" or whatever.
It stopped one day when I took a chair and told him that if he didn't leave my room right know I'd hit him with that chair. He's a six feet tall former sportsman. But I'm actually became taller than him. I was 19 or 20 back than. But it didn't actually change a lot. He stopped going physical, but continued to mentally abuse me. And I think I was either stupid or too used to that kind of treatment.
I remember him explaining they had very little money back then, he was struggling with having a job and I was constantly failing them and he wanted to make a good person out of me. He said he did it, because he had to as a parent. And it was unpleasant for him, but I constantly made him do it. It started I think in the end of the kindergarten when I started secretly taking toys to home.
When I was 20 I met my future wife at a punk gig. Fun thing was that she turned out to not liking music much. At least as much as I did. Her mother is narcissistic and she shares a lot of narcissistic traits and ways of behavior herself, though she is not a full-blown narc our relations were very toxic and unfortunately they still are. Now it is obvious to me that my love for her appeared because in a sense she wast like my father to me and I wanted to recreate it subconciously. I had to go through some therapy to understand that. And now we're almost 19 years together and we have a daughter, she's 7 and I love her very much. I try to protect her as much as I can and though I found that I'm very much like my father in many aspects, I always remember about that to not let myself act without unconciously, so I've never raised my hand on her and I almost always talk if something goes wrong. I try to spend as much time as I can with her. She loves dinosaurs, all things about space and a lot of girly things that is fun to play too. I feel like I'm partially reliving my own childhood with her. But we constantly fight with my wife. Like every day. And it scares my daughter. And it kills me. And it kills me that I can't part ways with my wife, because I try to create loving environment at home for my daughter. Even my wife jokes that I am the mom in our family.
But now I have problems with work myself. Remember I went to the university? I had to quit it. My brilliant brain eventually collapsed. I started experiencing brain fog (or my brain became completely silent when I needed it) and a terrible attention disorder and I still do to this days. For years I was drinking a lot (like a lot), smoking, playing videogames, while still being highly functional. I'm not a closed person, I'm pretty open and look positive for the most part. Many people describe me as very empathetic and charismatic. I did some scientific work in my university, than I worked in IT while playing gigs with several bands in different genres and doing session work as a guitar player and arranger. Now I'm working in advertising and I was kinda successful in creative and production departments till recent times. But I always felt awful inside and it became worse. Was it my relationship with my wife, was it my childhood thing, was it any other factors, I don't know. Probably everything took its toll on me. All I know is that I don't have the same energy as before, I don't have aims or things I love. Well technically they exist, but nothing excites me anymore. Though I love spending time with my daughter and mindlessly noodling guitar or piano from time to time.
So I got a life, you know, but seems like couldn't escape anything. Like I was downward spiraling all this years just trying not to notice that.
During the pandemic years I quit drinking and smoking (boy, was it hard) and somehow lost interest in playing video games. I started doing sports and gradually started feeling better. But unfortunately I underwent vascular surgery and had to stop for half a year and absolutely lost the momentum. All I'm doing now is watching memes and youtube. I became terrible at my job, because I can't handle it anymore. The projects I was doing is at the end now, but I just can't get myself together to look for a new ones. And I have a mortgage to pay and it's a big sum every month.
My brain becomes silent more and more often so I started hating doing what I do. I can't be creative anymore. I hate myself. I hate my past. I hate what my family became. I'm afraid we can fuck up my daughter's future, because that is the relationship of constant fighting she sees every day. And the most terrible thing is that I found out recently that I'm in constant fear that from minute to minute my father will come home and beat the shit out of me. Can you imagine? Like WTF, seriously?
And what is the most terrible thing that makes me angry is that I don't hate my father. I love him and I know that for years I tried to make him like me. Funny thing that my mother said that she feels guilty for what happened, but now I feel only anger for what she said. She did nothing and often she started the thing with acting sad that I embarass her in school with my behavior, so my father got another reason to beat the shit out of me.
Right now she does nothing with my daughter (like doesn't call her or text her or whatever) and from time to time says that she feels guilt for that. Seems like that's her way of life: not doing what is needed to and saying that she feels guilt about that, than continue to do nothing. And I love her too. And when I meet my parents we all pretend like nothing has ever happened. I just don't participate in conversations mostly. Drinking helped in the past, but I'm not doing that anymore so I mostly keep silent at their home and detach myself in my thoughts unless somebody asks something. And I also hate that I was trying to speak with them when I was drunk and pretend that nothing has ever happened to. It feels awful and I feel no respect for myself for that.
Yet I don't hate anyone. I would like to fix relationship with my wife, I feel bad for my parents as they have their own history with their parents. But why should I understand and feel for everybody so they would continue their life like it's ok? That said starting a mess in the family may influence my daughter's life and I don't want that. I feel trapped.
The problem is that in a month I'll have no money for the next mortgage payment. But I have no energy to look for a new project to do and do it. And I have no time and money for psychotherapy. I did so much to continue my life for so many years. I just can't anymore. Recently I started experience health issues, especially after contacting COVID-19. So seems like a full house: no money, no job, no health, no love, no friends, no support, no energy, no brain. I'm not s****dal by any means. I just want to lay on a bed and do nothing forever. And I want to do it for years already actually, I just kept getting myself together, because of my daughter. But right now I feel I just literally can't anymore on every level: mental, physical or whatever.
There are more things that make it harder for me now, but I try to not make is so much over the place. And my wife doesn't want discuss it or help me, she says that I'm often get depressed and she's tired of that. That time I managed to talk to her openly she said: "Go to psychiatrist, they'll prescript you some drugs and you'll be fine". But what drugs? I've been through some shit, of course I feel sad and depressed and my constant inability to influence any of these things made feel even worse. Of course I can numb myself with prescriptive drugs, but what's the difference with the alcohol then? I don't think that there are drugs that help people to solve issues between each other or open their ears, make them respectful and wise enough to think about consequences of what they say or do.
This is the first time I tell the story of my life, so I'm sorry if this is too long to read. I just can't. I try to think things through and it seems now like I could've run away from home in the childhood, I could end my relations with my wife before we had a child, though I can't imagine not having my daughter. But what was I thinking before? I also understand Like who cares if you're smart and what is the point of having 140+ IQ and not being able to distinguish people who is good for you from those who is bad for you.
If was a cool flex for my parents to have a smart child. It is a cool flex for my wife to have a smart husband. But to me it is like a curse. I'm no smarter than anybody else. I don't even understand what is it. I can't even solve my own issues. But people around me tell me how smart and articulate I am and it creates nothing, but expectations that I don't want to fulfill.
What if I fill for divorce, because we can't come to an agreement on literally anything. Previously I was doing things her way, because it wasn't a big deal and I wanted her to smile. Then I found out that she thinks that I'm entitled to live the way she wants, to do things the way she wants, to pay for everything she wants and if I say I can't for example swap our car to something new and better right now, then I'm doing not enough money unlike husbands of her friends. Like WTF? Yes we talked through a lot, but there were so many things said and done, that I'm not even sure I want to continue with her. On the other hand if I divorce, we definitely won't come to agreement on our daughter and I'm afraid she'll make her think that I abandoned them both.
What if I call to my parents or meet them and ask all these questions about my childhood. I know my mom will start talking about how guilty she feels and whatever. And my father will try to avoid talking. Or even if he would say that he was young and stupid and didn't know what he was doing and he feels sorry for that, I don't think it would help me. And making him suffer won't help either.
It is just unfair living like this. Sometimes I read stories of other people and think "Okay, they've seemed to go through something worse than myself and still be able to proceed with their lives". But nothing actually works anymore. Again I'm not s****dal, but it is like willing to freeze, you know. Something like that.
I don't know if I have a question. I just can't cope with all this. I was writing this post for two days and don't even have the energy to read it through myself.
P.S. Excuse me for possible mistakes, English is a foreign language for me.
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2023.06.07 15:27 ixartz Just hit 4000+ ⭐ stars on GitHub for my React Starter
I am thrilled to announce that
Next.js Boilerplate has recently crossed a significant milestone on GitHub. We've reached an impressive 4000 stars! 🚀🎉
For those who might be wondering, Next.js Boilerplate is an amazing starting point for building modern React application and scalable web applications using Next.js. It provides a solid foundation, saving developers precious time by setting up the essential tooling, configuration, and best practices.
I started the project in July 2020 but I have continuously updating the project from Next.js 9 to Next.js 13.4, from Tailwind CSS 1 to the version 3, upgrade ESLint to version 8, etc.
Recently, I've added Storybook support in Next.js Boilerplate.
🌟 Next.js Boilerplate GitHub Repository:
Next.js Boilerplate Or, you can also check out the
Next.js Boilerplate Live demo
With a vibrant community of contributors and enthusiasts, Next.js Boilerplate has continued to evolve and improve over time thanks to the 17 contributors.
This is only the beginning, I'm currently working to add more built-in feature into the boilerplate. I'm also open to suggestion and feedback.
So, whether you're a seasoned developer looking to kickstart your next project or a newcomer eager to learn and explore, Next.js Boilerplate is an invaluable resource that will save you time, effort, and headaches.
Thank you all for your support, contributions, and for being part of this incredible journey!
Happy coding! 💻💪
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ixartz to
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