Long beach airport security wait time

Please let me know what you think about this backstory! I think it’s ridiculous but awesome. Wrote it for a character I’m starting this Friday, but wrote it up on a whim about twenty minutes ago and need some opinions. Thanks!!!
Bertram WAS your friendly neighborhood cleric; peace cleric to be exact. He liked long walks by the river, the latest in fashion and style, helping those in need, healing the sick and those too poor to seek or afford help by their own coin, and he still enjoys those things more than anything else…
However, Bertram is dead. Or he’s sort of dead. But alive! It all happened on his fortieth birthday when he was visiting the local shrine to Eldath, his favorite peace deity and magically bonded superfriend. After stopping in to give a small yearly tribute and say a few nice words, a bit of a windstorm had gotten to a blustery start outdoors and as he stepped from the threshold of the cathedral, one of the capstones, left unchecked and intended for generations, fell from the top of the spire right onto Betram’s holy head.
Thus ended his bromance with Eldath and started his love-hate relationship of necessity with Kelemvor. Upon waking, Bertram found himself at the edge of the gates of the underworld realms to be judged and weighed. Kelemvor himself greeted him as he was interested to see the to the judgement of fate of a cleric so devoted and began the process of weighing Bertram’s soul. Unfortunately, right as they were getting to the best parts, an agent from the Celestial Department of Weights and Measures descended to inform Kelemvor that the Scales of Justice of the afterlife had not been calibrated in several centuries!
Being an ever cautious and lawful deity, Kelemvor could not in good conscious allow Bertram to be weighed and enter any ethereal plane. Having immense wisdom even for a previously living human, Kelemvor spoke with Bertram for hours; telling him of his own life and how he ascended to become a deity of death and his own views of justice and right and wrong. What was only a few hours in the gateway to the underworld translated to days back on the surface, and Betram’s body was prepped for funeral. The skilled and knowledgeable clerics of the Peace Domain were able to reconstruct his skull and his head to look almost as he was when he was living, but could not prevent the natural process of decay, and was frowned upon as this would be against the natural cycle of life and death, renewal and decay.
Bertram began to understand and see the world from Kelemvor’s point of view during their talk, and no longer living, was no longer bound to Eldath. Understanding that Kelemvor was benevolent but served a very real and lawful purpose, and he accepted him as his new god and they forged a bond that lasts to this day. Performing a rite that only Simone as powerful as a godlike deity could, Kelemvor restored Bertram’s soul to his physical body as he lay on the funeral pyre readied for ceremony. Resurrected as something akin to a Hollow One, Bertram stood up and shouted “Hey Everybody!”.
Despite being surrounded by seasoned clerics who have seen disease, injury, battle, and worse, this was so shocking to all present that several turned in terror while others readied themselves instantly for a fight with the undead, in this instance being Bertram himself. As several of the more war-worn clerics were about to loose a barrage of spells, Bertram cried “Guys! It’s just me! Can’t we just get al……” and as he tried to finish speaking Kelemvor projected himself into the visions of everyone present, along with their god Eldath.
Explaining the entire story and that this was indeed the long walk loving, simple Bertram they had always known. However, the semi-decayed appearance of Bertram’s new form and it’s association with the corruption of the undead has been engrained in the minds of clerics for millennium, and despite not being hostile, Bertram’s previous friends and colleagues simple could not reconcile this new development with their years of experience. Days passed where Bertram tried to return to his community, but his fellow clerics and the village simply could no longer accept him. The sideways glances, parents clutching their children, people turning around or taking other paths as soon as they saw him just rapidly increased, and Bertram would go to his small home and be sad. So so sad.
During this time he found that his body would no longer decay, but he would no longer decay. He was essentially frozen in time at forty years old. He was alive, but dead….maybe? What would happen if he were killed….again. This is when he decided that he would just pour himself completely into healing and helping those in need no matter what the cost, and he would do it while travelling. He would journey far and wide, finding those that needed him; those who weren’t afraid of what he was or that he looked like a zombie. But after seeing all the souls of the dead waiting for judgement in the afterlife he had leaned to find violence even more abhorrent and vowed that he would only use physical or magical means of in the most desperate of situations.
And so Bertram set off on the road. Feet on the ground and fresh flowers tucked in all over his traveling clothes and armor, all in the hopes of finding other in need of help, dude!

I am 24, so I have been 18+ for a little while now.
I know they can no longer access certain parts of my information, but I was curious.
Can they see any of my copay stuff? I pay all of it immediately, so that they won't get billed and that they won't know what it's for.
Can they see any summaries of payments I've made for care I received?
Can they see any of my appointments or what they are for?
What can they see, what can't they see?
Just paranoid because I'm receiving (medically necessary, life saving) care that if they found out about it, I would likely be put in danger or threatened to be excommunicated or best case scenario emotionally abused. I pay for 100% of the actual copay and medicine costs, but I am still on their plan and I am only able to afford this care because I am on their plan.
I found this, but it's about Washington state specifically. It also fails to cover the specifics.
Is this something I should attempt to have a detailed conversation with Kaiser reps about? I just fear the long phone wait times and am curious if someone else has a more concise answer for SoCal.

My fiancé and I just finished watching Howl’s Moving Castle, and oh my I don’t think I’ve fallen as in love with a movie that fast! The love, the action, the friendship, cute characters, it was all just so great I had to share!
To me, it was like watching a Ghibli movie for the first time. I have seen Castle In The Sky and Kiki’s Delivery Service as a kid, but I don’t remember the plots!
I’m an animation nerd so I have no idea why I waited so long to begin watching these. The art and the music was absolutely stunning.
Needless to say, I know what I’ll be watching during the long hours of our honeymoon road trip!

Zach has been away this week; he spent some time with his Uncle David. It was a good visit – they always are - and Zach seemed relaxed tonight. He came home on the train this evening, which is a direct shot from there to here; the boys have made the trip before. It’s a long trip.
PJ was anxious – he had every minute calculated. If the train was expected at 6:35 pm, he worked it out that the station was 34 minutes from our door and so he was very sure about the moment when we needed to be in the car. He made certain that I was ready. He couldn’t wait. If you asked him he would deny it, but PJ clearly missed his brother.
We waited on the platform together; me and PeeJ – he kept his eyes north the entire time, waiting. When the train finally rolled in, he would jump up and eagerly scan each car for Zach, almost worried that he might somehow miss him.
Zach stepped off of the train with a duffle over his shoulder and he would walk into my quick hug before we made our way to the car. He looked at PJ and said, “Hey.” PJ gave him a quick nod and said, “Hey.”
I don’t know, maybe it’s just a brother thing. Either way, as a betting man, I know I’d win odds that Zach was just as eager to see his PJ. They just can’t let it show - that wouldn’t be cool.
They were inseparable tonight – I haven’t gotten a word in edgewise. It’s why I’m here in my study typing to you guys, LOL.
We’re glad he’s home.

Dani Donovan’s “The Anti-Planner: How to get sh!t done when you done feel like it”.
I’m sure this one has been posted several times, but I just got mine in the mail and I have to say it was completely worth the FIVE month wait!!
[TLDR: long shipping, worth it] I ordered this book right around Christmas, and just now got it. Fortunately, the author is very connected with her readers and sends out frequent email updates about when the batch is going to ship. The best part about her emails is that each one has a new productivity guide (comic style). I went and printed all mine out and keep them in my Common Space file to reflect on. Anyways, the shipping took long bc she wanted a super high quality book, so she had to order from the UK. But it was completely worth the wait because the book is SUCH high quality. The pages are so colorful, some are foiled. The strong spiral binding makes it easier to lay flat (I’m a book nerd, ok stfu). The author has sold out twice now! So I’m pretty sure she’s doing something right.
Just from my quick flip through the meticulously ordered contents (neatly tabbed out), I can already tell this book is going to help so much. This is like the Marie Kondo of productivity books. And the comic art makes it very interesting to read, and never boring. I’m so happy I bought this. 1000/10 recommend!!!

The July 2021 recording could undercut key defense claims that Trump declassified or didn’t know about the documents
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2023/05/31/trump-recording-classified-iran/
Special counsel Jack Smith has obtained a 2021 recording in which Donald Trump appears to brag about having a classified document related to Iran, suggesting the former president understood both the legal and security concerns around his possession of such restricted information, people familiar with the matter said Wednesday.
The recording was made at a meeting at Trump’s golf course in Bedminster, N.J., said the people, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss an ongoing criminal investigation. It features Trump describing a multi-page document that he claims is about possibly attacking Iran, expressing a desire to share that information with others but also making some kind of acknowledgment that he shouldn’t do so.
The existence of the recording was first reported by CNN. It has not been made public, and the people familiar with it would not describe Trump’s statements verbatim. But for Justice Department prosecutors examining Trump’s possible mishandling of classified documents after leaving the White House, the audio could be important evidence about Trump’s state of mind and his understanding of the rules about classified information — and it might show the path of certain sensitive documents once they left the White House.
Trump’s lawyers have suggested that the former president either did not know he possessed classified documents after leaving the White House or could have declassified such material while in office.
Smith’s investigation appears to be centered on classified material discovered last August at Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s Florida home and private club, weeks after the Justice Department demanded the return of all documents marked classified and a lawyer for Trump handed over documents said to be responsive to that subpoena.
The Washington Post reported last year that among the sensitive documents recovered by the FBI was a document describing Iran’s missile program. It’s unclear if that document is the same one described in the audio recording. The Post has also reported that investigators suspect Trump’s motive for keeping classified material after leaving the White House may have been mostly ego, and that he insisted the documents were his property, not the U.S. government’s.
For the Justice Department, evidence that Trump knew he had classified material, and understood the restrictions on sharing it, would be an important part of any charging decision.
A spokesman for Smith declined to comment. A Trump spokesperson replied to an email seeking comment by decrying leaks about the investigation, which he said “are designed to inflame tensions and continue the media’s harassment of President Trump and his supporters. It’s just more proof that when it comes to President Trump, there are absolutely no depths to which they will not sink as they pursue their witch hunts.”
In a section of his book, “The Chief’s Chief,” Trump’s former chief of staff, Mark Meadows, appears to describe the meeting where the recording obtained by the Justice Department was made.
The book mentions a document that Trump tries to link to a frequent target of his ire at the time, Gen. Mark A. Milley, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Meadows describes a scene at Bedminster in which a relaxed, post-presidency Trump expounds on how he is waiting to re-engage with politics at a time of his choosing.
“The boss leans back in his chair, dressed in a sport coat and a crisp white shirt that’s open at the neck. He looks at least twenty pounds lighter than he was in office,” Meadows’s book says. “The president recalls a four-page report typed up by Mark Milley himself. It contains the general’s own plan to attack Iran, deploying massive numbers of troops, something he urged President Trump to do more than once during his presidency. President Trump denied those requests every time.”
At that time, Trump complained frequently about Milley, a reaction to anecdotes in books and news articles that cast Trump in a bad light and described Milley as defending democracy from the then-president’s darker impulses.
Representatives for Milley did not immediately respond to requests for comment. A lawyer for Meadows declined to comment. People familiar with the investigation say prosecutors have repeatedly asked witnesses about any comments Trump made about Milley.
The strange legal and national security saga of how hundreds of classified documents followed Trump to Florida after he left the White House began in 2020, when the National Archives and Records Administration began seeking the return of what it suspected were presidential records – historical documents that are government property.
After months of back-and-forth, 15 boxes of papers from Mar-a-Lago were returned in early 2022. When archives officials opened the boxes, they found more than 100 classified documents scattered among the various items.
That led to questions about whether Trump had more classified papers at his Florida home. Served with the grand jury subpoena in the spring, Trump’s lawyers handed over an additional 38 classified documents in a sealed envelope last June. But FBI agents later obtained evidence suggesting that Trump was holding onto even more documents, leading them to obtain a court order for an Aug. 8 search of the property in which agents found more than 100 classified documents.
In November, after Trump launched another bid for the White House, Attorney General Merrick Garland appointed Smith to lead the documents investigation, along with a more sprawling investigation into efforts to block the 2020 election results and events surrounding the Jan. 6, 2021, riot at the U.S. Capitol.
Trump’s attorneys have taken steps in recent weeks in the documents case — including outlining his potential defense to members of Congress and seeking a meeting with the attorney general — that suggest they believe a charging decision is getting closer.
Over the past week, The Post has reported that investigators have video footage and other evidence that shows two Trump employees at Mar-a-Lago moved boxes of documents into a storage area just before Justice Department officials came to retrieve material in response to the subpoena, and that one of the employees later asked how long material captured by surveillance cameras at the property was kept before being erased.

You learn lots of things working as a lifeguard.
CPR, BLS, EAP’s. They literally make you take a week-long course beforehand—if you’re like me and get your chemical certification with your basic life support so you can earn sixteen bucks an hour instead of thirteen.
My favorite part is what we call the Good Samaritan Law. Or as my instructors called it, the CYA law. (We have an acronym for everything.)
That one stands for “cover your ass”.
It means, in my state, anyway, that a first-responder, like a lifeguard, cannot be sued or jailed for actions taken to save a person's life in an emergency.
It comes in handy often. I guard a place called the Camrock Quarry. Not its real name, of course, but who cares. It’s a glorified swimming pool, except forty feet deep, and we have parents who think we’re a daycare. I regularly fish two to three kids out the deep end, only to drop them off, crying, to parents lazing in our chairs on their phones, angry that I won’t let their kids back in the water for a half-hour and they actually have to care for them.
They threaten to sue. Every. Goddamn. Day.
Other than that, it’s chill.
I spend one hour scanning an area. Then two beautiful, sharp, whistles blow. And it's a chair change. And I get to walk over to another area and watch there. We have breaks sometimes. That’s what adult-swim is.
Today, my coworker, Dede, roves toward me.
“That woman's child vomited watermelon in the toddler pool again.”
I pause. Blink.
“Is that all she feeds it?
Dede shrugs. I rub my face.
“I’ll turn on the pumps.”
I clean the “biomass”. Treat and recycle the water.
Feel the stares of “that woman” on my back.
“Why’s it taking so long?” She asks.
I tell her we have to rerun all the water through our filters.
“Well what am I supposed to do?”
I don’t want to argue.
“My manager bought us ice-cream last week. You could have some while you wait.”
Surprisingly, this works to calm her down. And five minutes later we’re standing in the building kitchen.
“You look like a drumstick man.” I say to the woman's kid, and make a show of him getting the last in the box. He's actually really sweet. He's got acid reflux and his mom doesn't like to pay for tums.
Then I dig back in the freezer.
“And would you like an ice-pop, ma’am?”
“I think I deserve one, at this point.”
“Yep.”
The boy eats his desert with feral energy. His mother is more hesitant. I watch her face pucker.
“These are sugar-free, aren’t they?” She asks.
I pretend to check the box. It's my revenge.
“Oh yeah, huh. Sorry.”
She drops it dramatically into our trash. Bitch. We’ll get bees.
Fifteen minutes later she’s pawned her child off to Dede, and I watch her swim in the deepest part of Camrock, what we call “The Pit”. It’s the actual full forty-foot deep part. We don’t allow children there.
You can’t see the bottom. It just goes black after a few feet.
Sometimes I wonder how many bodies have to be beneath that murk.
What else can you do when you spend twelve hours a day staring at water?
I watch that woman swim to the center of the pit.
Then she touches her head.
And she sinks.
Did you know we’re not supposed to call them victims? They’re “GID’s.” Guests in Distress. Because “It’s not their fault they’re in trouble.”
Nonsense.
But I do my job. Just because I hate someone doesn’t mean I want to get fired.
I blow my whistle long and dive in with my rescue tube. People evacuate. Scream. Get directed to call 9-1-1.
By the time I get her on my tube she’s not breathing. I grab her chin and force open her airway.
Someone slides a board into the water. We pull her out.
I begin CPR.
Her ribs crack, her chest caving as I push hard and fast atop her. It sounds like someone stepping on twigs.
Dede runs up with our crash bag.
“I’ve got the AED! I’ve got the AED!”
And she tries to pull the woman's shirt off while I’m still doing compressions.
“Christ!” I say. “Calm down.”
And then I help cut the woman's shirt off. Her boy is watching us. Crying. There's still ice-cream on his face.
We paste the pads on and wait.
“V-TAC. SHOCK ADVISED.” The machine says. “STAND CLEAR.”
The woman's whole body arcs.
“PULSE DETECTED.”
She doesn’t talk. It’s not like the movies, where someone sits up and speaks. Instead the woman rolls over, crying softly, and vomits. I roll her onto her left side. Dede vacuums out her mouth.
By then the ambulance has arrived.
The EMT’s put her on the stretcher. One of them taps my shoulder after she’s loaded in.
“Hey,” He says. “Congrats. You just saved a life.”
I smile.
Broken ribs. Possible brain damage. She’s going to be in the hospital for months, not to mention the damage of the medical debt.
I think of her boy.
Saved indeed.
All I needed was an ice-pop tray and the key to our chemical shed. And I'm legally protected.
Just thought I’d say.
Enjoy your Summer.

Gotta pick a club membership between American or United for East Coast airports. I use the platinum card for Delta SkyClub, which is my cherished favorite, over Centurion. I would get Delta SkyClub if platinum members lost access.
HQ is in Dallas (DFW), but I’m based in Boston with midweek travel to Buffalo, Pittsburgh, LaGuardia/JFK/Newark, Philly, Baltimore, Reagan, Raleigh, Charlotte, Ashville, Atlanta, Jacksonville, Orlando, Tampa, Miami, and Dallas every other month.
Something feels downgraded in the lounges nowadays with grueling wait times only to lose an elbow trying to mosh pit your way through to a seat you yank out from under someone who’s barely stood up as if you’re starring in Game of Thrones. What’s the point? Well, they’re insisting, so do your worst!!

My reddit colleages, I come to you in my time of need. My family is in crisis and I need advice. This is a long one, so buckle up.
So about 10 years ago my sister (50) lost a job and couldn't pay rent. My parents agreed to let her move back in to go to school. Unfortunately against my advice, she decided to get a degree in a niche area without many jobs. She graduated a few years ago and is working part time jobs in the field but making shit money, has no benefits, and is having a hard time finding a fulltime job.
The first thing to know here is that my sister is the most difficult person I have ever met, and saying she is a bitch would be a massive understatement. She is basically a teenager in an adult body and I have never met anyone else like this.
And my parents are the nicest people ever, and have always had to help her in one way or another. So when she couldn't pay rent they let her move in. A year later when she couldn't afford the storage unit, they gave up the garage. When she graduated, they paid so she could fly across the country to her graduation. And during all this time, she hasn't paid a penny towards the household, but is somehow in debt. Oh and did I mention the home cooked meals? Because I sure as fuck will get to that.
As far as the living situation, they are all in a tiny house and it has become completely toxic. My sister verbally abuses my mom every day. It doesn't matter what my mom says or does, she will get yelled at for no reason. We are talking about crazy shit. And if my mom dares respond, then she is told that she is "nasty", or called a "bitch" among many other things.
She can't even control herself when I come to visit and we always get into fights about it and I am told to "shut the fuck up and mind my business". She is completely in denial of her behavior. I have seen her lose her shit because my mom dared to suggest that she cook something for herself. She has even lashed out several times and said "I can't stand this fucking family". She walks around looking absolutely miserable and the negative energy consumes the room when she walks in.
And during this time my father came down with a serious health condition and he's not even free from her bullshit. He can barely walk and has been yelled at for eating stuffing she wanted.
But beyond that, she is a control freak and has competely taken over the house. She controls the AC, TV volumes, and lights, at all times. If my parents change the AC, she will literally come out of her room within a minute to change it back. If we are in the living room, she will change the lights to her liking, and then go in her room and close the door. When she decides it's bedtime, living room is off limits and my parents are forced to go into their room. And "bedtime" is several hours before she actually goes to sleep. She just wants my parents in their room so she can enjoy silence.
They have become prisoners in their own home, and feel like they can't even leave their bedroom. But she will also barge in their room anytime she pleases. It's her house, they just pay for it and get in her way.
Now let's get to the fucking dinners. Even though she verbally abuses my mom on a daily basis, she also expects my mom in her 70s to make her home cooked meals every night. To the extent that she will text "what's for dinner" every day. And if it's cooked wrong, or the serving size is incorrect, it's time to yell at the chef. And guess who doesn't pay for any of this food? Getting takeout tonight? Guess who's paying. She has never so much as offered to pay for a pizza. If my parents meet their friends at a restaurant, they are expected to bring her home dinner. And my parents are still trying to work so they can support all 3 of them. And then after she is served, she won't say a fucking word, and will continue looking miserable.
I know the first thing the people are going to say is that they have enabled her to get to this point. Absolutely true and they realize it. And now it has been going on for so long and they are overwhelmed and don't know how to escape the situation. They have enough to deal with due to my father's health issues, and he doesn't have the mental strength to deal with this anymore. My mom is depressed, cries, and is practically begging me to help with this. I am worried about their health and the stress this is putting on them. And I am absolutely fucking furious that she is stealing their older years from them, and how she treats them, so I have been trying to intervene.
Now let's jump back to the job situation. There are basically no jobs in her field. We can't ask about the job search, or it's an immediate fight. And she is just too stubborn to take advice. I have had a pretty good career, and I try to offer advice, but I might as well be offering it to a cat who would probably listen better. As far as I know, the search has been pretty half assed.
So I can't let this situation continue. I felt like I could convince her to leave if I made it financially possible. I spent weeks staying up till 4am making myself physically sick. Running numbers and coming up with plans. Basically seeing if I can come up with a way for her to afford rent and bills for 6 months which would give her time to find a new job. And after dozens of hours I figured out a way to make it work with loans, debt restructuring, and me giving her a lot of money.
I approached her and said that she needs to move for her own good and for our parents, and that I came up with a financial plan to make it possible. I presented the plan, and the response? "I hope you didn't tell mom about this plan". My jaw must have hit the fucking floor.
I kept pushing and saying that I was concerned about how the stress in the house is affecting our parents, and the response was, "you're being ridiculous". When I told her that mom was having chest tightness from all the fighting, I was told "she brings it on herself". I have never been so fucking angry when I saw a text. Not even from my whore ex girlfriend that was pregnant from another dude and told me it was mine.
I have continued making myself crazy offering everything I can to make her leave. Loans, thousands of dollars, cosigning leases, movers, furniture. You name it, I have offered. But she won't fucking budge. And I know she needs money, so I told her the only way she's getting a dime is when I see a signed lease or at least a reserved apartment.
Even with all the security I've offered, she is now refusing to leave until she finds a new job. And then I expect her to move the goalpost. It could be years. There is always going to be some excuse not to leave and my parents are expected to deal with this for as long as it suits her.
So I don't know what the fuck to do. I need to get her out immediately but she will not take any steps even when offered financial assistance. I really don't want to go down the road of evictions or courts or cops. I think the stress of that on my parents would be equally bad, and would destroy our family. We recently got in a fight and I told her that if it was me, I would evict her, and she called me an asshole.
I know another option people talk about is for my parents to move. Again, the health issue is one concern, but they also won't be able to find a place with as low of a mortgage payment they have now, and they are very tight with money as it is.
The only other thing I have been able to think of is signing a second lease, paying for a few months, and hiring movers to come get her shit. That scares the hell out of me for my own credit and if I need to move, but I don't know what other options I have. And not sure if it's even legal.
But please, does anyone have any fucking advice for me?!

Domestic long hair cat 3.5 years old Neutered male Not sure his exact weight but not undeoverweight
He turns 4 this year and we noticed him not being able to urinate today. We timed him and he stayed in the litter box for 4 minutes without any pee and then left and returned a few minutes later and tried again for 2 minutes with no luck. We took him to emergency vet right away and they confirmed he has a block. They are still waiting for blood work and urinalysis results but they told us he had “quite a lot of blood in his urine” which is freaking me out. He’s sedated and they said he’s doing ok but I’m dying inside not knowing how bad his case is. The fact they said not only he had blood in his urine but “quite a bit” is terrifying to me. They said they could release him today after they unblock him but recommended keeping him for 36 hours so we chose that despite the hefty quote of $4000 CAD. Does the amount of blood mean he’s doing badly? What causes the blood in urine?

Welp, it happened. We danced and now we have to pay the fiddler. This is going to be a long post— part explanation that I think I want to write out for my own sake, part plea for sympathy for how hard this is, and part… who knows.
We’ve been together for 8 years. We had a long talk about engagement one night in autumn 2019 and he gave me a music box of a little bride and groom. That same night I got incredibly sick and ended up hospitalized, then in a rehab program, having to leave my job and house and move back in with my parents. We put the wedding on pause until things got more normal. I was healthy, feeling normal, processing the losses I’d had, and started job hunting again in February 2020.
March 2020 was not normal. We were scared shitless for 6 months, like everyone was. Once things calmed down a small amount, we talked about eloping. Nope, we decided. We wanted a wedding-wedding. Plus, his mom didn’t think he was ready, and her disapproval really affected him. Marriage is a good thing, a celebration. Let’s wait until we can make it a celebration.
And around that time, too, we started making love. I know, I know. We shouldn’t have. We’d been together for 6 years by then. College, mental illness flare-ups, a disaster internship for me, his mom’s cancer, my sickness, a parent divorce, losing grandparents, his mother’s disapproval of him dating anyone at all, sexual harassment, the pandemic. The world was scary. Being together was safe.
We’d talked about sex at the start of our relationship and decided no, we would wait. Occasionally it got brought up again and we knew we weren’t ready to be parents, so we said no, we’ll wait. We had a conversation at one point where he said he felt ready. I asked him what would happen if we got pregnant. He said we’d live our lives in love like we had always planned. We weren’t in bed, we weren’t all riled up. We were our normal and rational selves. I had trusted my mind and my soul with him for years. It made sense that I trusted my body with him, too. I regret some things, I really do. But I can’t regret trusting him, and I can’t regret him trusting me.
So, early 2023. We’re both in good places professionally and health-wise. He says he’s struggling to pick out a ring that is like, we decide to go ring shopping together. It was such a happy day. We decided on a custom one and picked out elements to combine, so it was still going to be a nice surprise.
My period had been late. I had been working 60, 65 hour weeks in November and December and I had had a nasty respiratory bug in December. I’d been having cramps and spotting for a couple days and was like “Yep! This is my period!” But it still didn’t come. I took a test when we went back to my place after looking at rings. I didn’t even tell him. He was watching TikTok in my living room when I walked out and said “Hey, my period is still being weird, so I figured…” Then I saw the result.
We were numb for a while. I called a friend who’d just had a baby, who is a good Catholic who did everything correctly. She was kind and loving told me congrats. I was in complete shock. It didn’t seem real at all. We would do maybe 10-30 minutes of practical discussion, then I’d sob hysterically for about 10-30 minutes, then I’d calm down, then start again.
He was really strong at first. A bit quiet, just taking care of me. Eventually it all hit him. It’s one of the worst things I can remember seeing. He was in so much pain. He and his mom had never talked openly about relationships and sex. She disapproved of me. She would tell him “Don’t ruin your life tonight,” whenever he would spend time with me.
I’ll admit we talked about termination. We’d never considered it, of course we hadn’t. I was also scared that I had hurt Baby— we didn’t know how far along I was, I was on two medications that weren’t recommended for pregnancy, I’d taken copious amounts of OTC cold and fever reliever, and I had binge drank a few times in the month before. Going back to my last period, it was possible I was 9 weeks along at that point with no symptoms except cramps and spotting.
It’s really easy to say “You got pregnant, you pay the consequences. Move in, get married, buy the diapers.” Everything is so much easier said than done. I had to find a sublease for my apartment. We both had to move. We had to find an OB. Our work schedules are different and had no days off in common after my Christmas break— one of us would have to miss work to go to any appointments. And that’s without all the pain of pregnancy, delivery, and a newborn.
We had to think about my job— I’m a teacher and I have been working with a group of students for two years. I was supposed to be able to work with them a third year. I PUSHED at work to be able to be keep working with them. I got additional certifications, I balanced rigor with fun to keep kids engaged, I reached out to parents and families constantly, and I told the kids that I’d be there next year, and yes, they had to sign up for my classes. I told 120 children that I would be there for them as they kept going in high school.
We had always planned on my staying home with a baby when we got there. I’m a teacher and I’ve worked with younger kids. Childcare is crazy expensive. What’s the point of paying someone to get yelled at by my kid while I commute to get… yelled at by kids? I’ve also had mental health issues and knew for a long time that leaving my baby too early wasn’t going to work for me. Having a baby meant leaving my job and leaving the kids I’d built painstaking relationships with.
So, right after finding out, it was pretty much agony. (At one point the night after taking the test, we did play a board game together.)
The first appointment was terrifying. I cried. The OB was very nice. He held my hand the whole time. I also felt so stupid. When was my last period? Early November. What birth control were you using? None. How did it take me 9 weeks to consider being pregnant? And if being pregnant was so horrible, why had we had sex? The first ultrasounds they do are transvaginal. They put a big stick up your vagina. Not fun.
I cried when we saw the embryo. Good and bad cried. Good because it’s an absolute miracle. Bad because we weren’t ready for this miracle. I have always wanted kids. Always. Always always. But in those moments… I had been hoping something bad had happened and we could wrap this all up. But we couldn’t. There was a 6 week embryo, healthy as could be. We heard the heartbeat.
Outside on the street after the appointment, we were numb.
We stopped walking and looked at each other and we both smiled, maybe for the first time that we smiled about this. He touched my face. “We’re going to be parents,” he said. We kissed. He touched my belly. We were going to be okay.
I’m very lucky. I’m in my late 20s. I’m well-educated and have a job in my field. I’ve worked with children and babies. I am in a relationship with the father, a healthy relationship. I’ve been in therapy on and off for years and have a good handle on recognizing my needs and emotions. I have supportive family and I have family who can buy baby supplies or help with rent or expenses if worst comes to worst. I have friends in my city, I have friends who have children, and friends who are teachers and nurses. I have my sister’s codependent best friend, who is NOT ready to have kids and has no experience with them, and signed herself up for Grandparent/ caregiver classes when she found out.
And still. It’s been so hard. Moving is exhausting. Just cleaning my apartment to get the pictures to advertise the sublease was too much! I had to go off one medication and fatigue was a side effect of quitting it cold turkey—I slept 18-20 hours a day for a week and a half. Eventually nausea and vomiting hit and I had to navigate that, medication for it, and side effects. And I pee myself every time I throw up.
I’ve missed so much work— I’d be fired if I wasn’t already leaving. My students are happy for me (and LOVE asking me about baby names and clothes and stuff) but I’ve had kids look me dead in the eye and say, “You can’t leave us. I can’t be at this school without your class and your room during lunch.” My fiancé’s mom is extremely disappointed— she hasn’t said the words “pregnancy,” or “baby,” and she hasn’t asked about me when they talk. My fiancé has two leather chairs that are family heirlooms, and my cat clawed at them the day after he moved in.
We need to be married to be on the insurance, so we had to ask the church if we could be married despite my evidence of sin, or if we should get married at the courthouse. We had a lot of special touches planned for our wedding, and I have a lot of emotions about having to do a small wedding instead.
I think I’m writing all this to ask for sympathy, for me and for others. Please see the paragraph about ways I’m extremely lucky. I just keep thinking about women and girls in this situation who don’t have what I have— a stable relationship, a job, supportive parents, friends who can give used baby gear and step up to help.
It’s not easy. I’m going to be just fine, and this is just going to be a blip in the story of our family. Just please believe me that it’s not easy. Please reach out to your pregnant and parenting friends and family and offer help. If you can, please support programs for young moms and victims of abuse. For Americans, please support paid parental leave at your own jobs and on a bigger scale. Please be kind and giving.
Thank you for reading.

Ill try to keep this short but basically i was going through an intense "therapy" program and at first it was great they would offer me rides to and from the clinic because of my mental state at the time i was living in a broken down, moldy bug infested apartment and once i got comfortable enough to tell them about my living situation they randomly started to hold my appointments outside my house in the front yard basically within hearing distance of my neighbors, this went on for months they refused to let me into the clinic... they never did after i opened up to them, the one time i was invited to the clinic they made me do a blood test in the back alleyway with padestrians walking by. I reported them to HIPPA and just recieved a notice that they will not be investigating the case whatsoever...
i was so nervous to report that i think i waited to long, this all happened last year around october and its taken me this long to be mentally well enough to stand up for myself, i want to make sure those people pay for what they did to me during such a vulnerable time in my life as this was not the only thing they did to me, the supervisor used to tell me that friends were all just drama when i told her i wanted to start trying to make friends again so that me and my partner could get time apart due to us arguing she used to tell me every appointment that i needed to just find a way to make things work between us because id never be able to keep friends. To this day i avoid people and have terrible social skills... i feel like those people broke me and theres nothing i can do about it

I am in a bit of a panic as it has recently become clear to me that I may be in a very disadvantageous tax situation already, and I want to figure out how to resolve it and move forward without encountering these problems in the future. Had I understood things more clearly when I began this investment journey, I may not be in this position, but the details were elusive to me on what qualified as a PFIC and I was only just learning everything as I went. It mainly came down to misleading myself that certain investments were okay because there seemed to be strict policies in place on what I could or could not buy as an American, so I made the wrong (in hindsight) assumption that if Rakuten Securities allowed me to buy into a fund or stock, it would probably be okay.
Currently, my situation is as follows:

1. I am an American, in my mid-thirties, who has lived in Japan for the better part of 13 years.
2. I plan on retiring in Japan. My retirement planning began 3-4 years ago, as I made barely enough money to survive for the bulk of that time living in here.
3. I now own a home here.
4. I am married to a Japanese national, with two children.
5. I came to Japan for my first “real” job and had no investment or retirement accounts open in the US. It now seems more or less impossible to open one back in the US and to be certain it will stay open until I retire, which seems to be one of the major ways Americans maintain a decent investment strategy.
6. There is no one back home who I can ask to use an address of, and I would like to shy away from that particular strategy as it seems to be recommended for short/mid-term stays in Japan and not for permanent/long-term stays.
7. My current brokerage in Japan is Rakuten Securities.
8. I have an iDeCo account (investment type) that is set up through Rakuten via JIS&T that has a bit under 1,000,000 yen so far, with 100% of my current holdings in the account being the 楽天米国INDEX楽天DC fund. (PFIC alert)
9. I have a normal NISA account that has approximately 4,600,000 yen in it that contains investments in three different mutual funds—iShares S&P500, eMAXIS Slim All Countries, and eMAXIS Slim S&P500. (PFIC alert)
10. I hold shares in a company that plans to go public and I expect the proceeds (capital gains) to be worth anywhere from 40-120,000,000 within the next couples years at most. This is a Japanese company that should not qualify as a PFIC.

I have begun reaching out to various financial advisors that specialize in expat situations, specifically looking for those who will work with Americans, but as expected, it seems most will not touch me until I have somewhere around $250,000 in assets, which I am a bit far away from. If the IPO mentioned above goes off without a hitch, I could suddenly find myself worthy of their time, but it is not a guarantee that will all pan out. Honestly, if I were sure it would all work out, it would only serve to make it even more important to have a plan on how to cash out in the least painful way tax-wise, so ideally I would like to get my ducks in a row before it happens.
My current ideas (none of which are ideal, at all) are:

1. Cash out my NISA next year when the new system begins, deal with all of the tax complications then and hopefully never again, and throw all of my money into my wife’s NISA, as she will almost certainly never be able to hit maximum contribution limits on her own account anyways. (I am worried if this is actually legal from a Japanese perspective, as she would end up putting more money into that yearly than her own post-tax salary). From that point on, only invest either through my wife’s accounts or only in non-PFIC Japanese stock. I dislike the idea of having my money being the responsibility, or property, or someone else, regardless of who it is, as I would feel equally uncomfortable in the reverse position.
2. Keep trying to open an account at a broker like Interactive Brokers and do my investing through there. I am worried that I will run into more tax issues in reverse though in retirement when I need to report world-wide earnings in Japan.
3. Continue investing as I am now and hope that, by the time I need to sell and realize my capital gains, tax law has changed to be less punitive for US expats actually living abroad (eg: in the future, individuals who pass the physical presence test do not need to pay taxes on foreign accounts originating from that country vs. individuals holding/hiding money overseas while living in the US.) This is very obviously a risky and overly-optimistic choice, but a thought I had nonetheless. To be clear, this would mean I would comply with the current tax law at that time even if it did not change.
4. Renounce my US citizenship. I would very much like to avoid this, at least until I am older and more certain of what my children plan to do with their lives, but this would eliminate so many headaches from a retirement-planning perspective. Additionally, it seems to me that mathematically it makes a lot more sense to do this sooner while my assets are low than to wait until retirement age and have to pay an insane exit tax.

I guess I would like to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and how they resolved it, or if anyone has any advice? As I said, I am reaching out to financial institutions to try to get advice, but again, I am not a big enough fish to qualify for actual services. This is very frustrating, as it appears to be virtually impossible to plan for retirement while actually following all of the rules properly without taking a massive hit somewhere that I cannot help but feels like a penalty for being an expat (“following the rules” would rule out having a US-brokerage account registered to a family member’s address, for example, as that seems to be technically illegal from what I have read).
I would be happy to hear literally anything, including corrections to some of my assumptions or statements above, along with any advice on either what someone in a similar situation has done or even recommendations on a good place to go to that may actually service me with my relatively low total liquid assets (somewhere around 12,000,000 yen). Sorry for the long post, but I think the specifics of the situation may lead to vastly different advice, so I wanted to include as much as possible.

Hey everyone,
Coming here because I am truly at a loss at what to do, I have a home server running Ubuntu 22.04, where I use it for some homegrown software projects & media server.
I have an HTTP server I host on port 9999 - it is secure and I like to use it remotely, so I have my router port forwarding set up for it. This has worked for a long time, as it's usually pretty trivial.
However, since I installed nordvpn, which installs openvpn, I cannot get to my server any longer, via it's public IP. Nord VPN requires disabling ipv6, which I thought may have been the issue, but no change after re-enabling. I've since uninstalled everything nordvpn, openvpn, and whatever I can remember that might mess with incoming network requests.
Even stranger, if I run nmap -sT $publicIp from another machine, I see port 9999 open, and designated as an abyss service. So I know it is running, open, and even viewable from the outside. Running curl --http0.9 http://$publicIp:9999/ yields a curl: (56) Recv failure: Connection reset by peer error, so I know it is getting into somewhere. I've checked the server's and router's firewall, nothing set. SSH'ing to the public IP works just fine, so it something unique to HTTP requests.
I've googled up and down for this issue, and tried many things, but nothing has fixed it! Does anyone have any idea what is going on?

This story happened about 5 years ago and it’s just been eating away at me. Me and my friend Anna were both 11 years old and we were both excited because we were finally old enough to practice cheerleading with some older kids. We practiced for about a month over the summer so that way we were ready for football season. Fast forward to the second to last day of practice. We were both waiting for our parents to pick us up when a tall woman in black stilettos, a sheer black cardigan, a white button up, long dirty blonde hair, deep brown eyes, tan skin, a full face of makeup with bright red lipstick, and a dimple on the right side of her face came to pick up Anna. I just want to add that this woman looked nothing like Anna. Anna has red hair, light blue eyes, no dimples, and fair skin. Anna looked confused when she came to pick her up and said, “who are you?” The woman said, “your Mom told me to pick you up.” Anna hesitantly said “ohhkayyyy?” And walked out with her. I heard the woman get on her phone and say, “I got her, let’s go.” Anna didn’t show up to the last practice and didn’t show up for cheerleading in the fall. I asked my coach where she was and she told me that she got a text that said that Anna dropped out of cheerleading. Maybe she just lost interest or moved away, but it’s just so sudden. She seemed to really like cheerleading and she even talked about wanting to cheer for the Cowboys one day. I never told my parents or my coach what happened and I feel so guilty. I feel like I failed her but at the same time, I have no idea what happened to her. I’m a military kid, and I moved out of that state, and it’s been 5 years, but I just can’t get it out of my head. I know I’m a shitty human being and I know that if something happened to her, it’s all my fault, but I have no one to turn to and I hate myself for not speaking up. I’m sorry Anna, I failed you.

Hi there, I'm planning on buying my own house/apartment sometime in the next year, most likely looking at a 2 or 3 bedroom place. Eventually I want it to myself, but I'm thinking of renting out the other rooms to begin with. It would be to my current housemate who is a long time friend, and possibly to my sibling. I've researched a bit but this is all really new to me so I'm a bit confused on tenants vs lodgers and was wondering if anyone could give me any clarification (like explain to me like I'm 5)?
From what I've read it can count as a lodger if the owner is living in the house as well, and there's no formal lease agreement, but they're still paying some form of rent & contributing to bills, is that correct or is there something else that also determines it?
And is the reason some people would choose to claim it as a renter rather than a lodger just the tax benefits? (And I guess security if it's someone you don't know) Because from what I've read if you claim it as renting then you have to pay tax on the money they pay as rent, but you also get to claim some stuff/amount as tax deductible. Is that the only reasons people would go with renter rather than lodger?
Is there any downsides of claiming it as a lodger rather than renter?

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I am out of college and applying to various different agencies. I had no clue what trajectory I would take post college, but I thought I'd give some thought towards FED CI. I have a past with drug use in high school with experimental marijuana use a couple of times, as well as one single instance of cocaine usage at a party early my freshman year.
I know this is FAR from ideal on the SF86, but would listing it on the form knowing I will be denied benefit me in the long run showing clean history until re-applying years down the line?
or
Should I wait to apply years down the line after boosting my resume (most likely relevant experience, or a highly possible Law Degree) not having to list the use of drugs based on the time frame that the SF86 asks.
The time in between eligibility might be coupled with a complete shift in mindset as to the career path I inevitably want to take, but would I be looked at differently if I apply, am denied and reapply?
Obviously, I am trying to gauge specific agency polygraph questions as well and how they relate to the questions asked on the SF86, some insight on that would be greatly appreciated guys.
Thanks for reading and I look forward to seeing your advice, please don't hold back!

We are very excited to visiting Sicily in June! Unfortunately, we only have 8 days (wanted more but couldn't), but it is what it is. Our plan is to spend 2 days in Siracusa, 2 days in Taormina (1 day trip to Mt Etna), 2 days in Cefalu, and 2 days in Palermo. We are planning to just use public transportation between these cities as we think they are still relatively big in Sicily (we do expect delays as we have heard).
I am just a bit concerned about the timing of things in Taormina. We originally planned 2 days in Taormina, with 1 day visiting Etna (most of the day). However, we actually get into Taormina at around noon, so I am worried that we don't actually get to see Taormina. We know some of the things to see (e.g. Greek theatre and Isola Bella), but not sure how long things take to see. We really do want to get to enjoy the beach and water there, just not sure how to maximize our time before being limited by things closing/getting dark.
Any advice as to the best way to spend our limited time in Taormina? Is it also worth kayaking around there? How late do places open until?
Any other advice on our general plan/other locations is more than welcome!
Thank you!!