Yesterday, the hisuian zoroark allegations have suffered a great loss by the hands of none other than niche twitter micro-celebrity "Spidops is NU!" (@LeleBestScarfer).
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(By Nauts on twitter)
It all started when he made fun of my dreams of OU viability, and culminated in a challenge to a best of 3 in gen 9 OU, where the catch was that we both had to bring our signature Pokémon to every match (also Walking Wake was banned, even if the suspect test said otherwise).
And just like that, the battle was announced on twitter, under the name of "Battle of mid".
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So I started preparing and I made 3 teams to bring, assuming that he'd always lead with spidops.

Spidops killer 1 - Bold predictions

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The plan was simple: lead zoroark disguised as tusk to get a free turn to set up against spidops and then punch as many holes as possible for kingambit and volcarona to sweep late game. He 100% expected cinderace as it invalidates web teams, so that's exactly what I WASN'T gonna bring until the very end as anything is at it's deadliest when least expected.
The reasonings behind the team choices were:
Zoroark: Nasty plot + focus sash to anti lead. My speed tier is very nice, but a bunch of important things still outspeed me, and the one that worried me the most outside of dark types was dragapult, who can OHKO even through sash thanks to dragon darts, so I went for tera blast fairy for the fourth move slot.
Kingambit: every hisuian zoroark team needs a kingambit in my eyes, but while you would normally expect defiant on these teams, especially against web teams, but it's purpose here was just to make them think that the lead wasn't zoroark as the most obvious option is to disguise as kingambit, but most importantly to sweep late game when zoroark punched holes in the opposing team, and the supreme overlord boost gives it that much more power to rely less on swords dance and break through walls more easily, especially against unaware mons.
GreatTusk: not only is it meant to give a free turn to zoroark to set up as spidops' best option against it is usually circle throw or just set webs, and both allow a free nasty plot, but it's also this team's rock setter, spinner and general physical sponge.
Clodsire: serves as general special wall and as a safety net against special setup sweepers and special fire types that would otherwise destroy this team, like volcarona or skeledirge.
Hatterene: more insurance against dragon types is always nice. This set was made to be a bulky support, as it's special attack is already high enough to scare off most dragon types with dazzling gleam. paralysis support is always useful and can cripple opposing offensive threats, and healing wish can bring back to full health and ready to fight weakened teammates, either letting the team withstand one more assault or try one last hail Mary late game.
Volcarona: this team needed a special attacker that could end games fast and volcarona complemented the team nicely, giving it that much more fire power (pun intended). Tera ground lets it beat common walls like clodsire and skeledirge.

Spidops killer 2 - All in on the mind games

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(pretend the tusk was jolly max speed/max attack)
For game 2 I wanted to really throw off my opponent, who I knew didn't exactly think highly of my preparation skills, so I wanted him to think that I had made no adjustments between the two games, bringing the same exact species and going with the exact same lead. While last team's gameplan was strictly offensive, the structure was more on the defensive side; I thought that he would have expected a slower pace, so Instead I changed the team to an all-out offensive one, aiming to break through his team even before he could react and adapt.
The reasonings behind the team choices were:
Zoroark: this time, instead of punching holes in my opponent's team, my job was to cripple opposing lead and to u-turn out to enable my more offensive teammates. This was especially ironic as, when I talked about this set previously, no one believed in it, but i was gonna prove them wrong.
Kingambit: this time, I wanted to actually take advantage of opposing webs, forgoing swords dance since defiant would have given me +2 attack anyways in favour of zen headbutt to deal much more easily with the most common roadblock for kingambit: Great Tusk.
Great Tusk: I've always loved scarf tusk, but I know few people use it so it can catch many off guard. It outspeeds and OHKOs a lot of common threats like meowscarada, hydragon, garganacl, gholdengo and kingambit.
Clodsire: pretty much the same as before but with stealth rock instead of toxic spikes since tusk no longer carries it.
Hatterene: an unespected specs hatterene can do a lot of damage, especially if you manage to trick those specs onto a wall to permanently cripple it.
Volcarona: nothing changed lmao

Spidops killer 3 - How the turntables

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For the third game, I knew he'd be expecting the same Pokémon yet again, so I went ahead with the cinderace auto win strategy where you gket their own webs on their side of the field with court change.
The reasonings behind the team choices were:
Zoroark: the specs set is by far the most splashable and can do heavy damage with good mid game play, especially with the speed control of webs.
Cinderace: hazard control with court change and pivot with u-turn, makes very good use of timbs.
Gholdengo: anti hazard removal and answer to garganacl.
Kingambit: more of a standard set with defiant over supreme overlord mostly to not give up if it's not zoroark.
Greninja: general enabler as another fast pivot and switcheroo to cripple walls or setup sweepers.
Baxcalibur: an insane wallbreaker with choice band which, in conjunction with sticky web thanks to ciderace, is basically a free dragon dance that isn't ignored by unaware.
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And with all that said and done, I was ready for the set.

Game 1 - Rough start

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(Replay here: https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9ou-1825123580)
The first battle was just a straight up slaughter. None of my predictions landed, weather we're talking in team building or playing.
Turn one he doesn't even lead with spidops, but with Tyranitar, so my whole plan was already in shambles, so I instantly tera fairy my zoroark in fear of the ttar and try anyways to set up a nasty plot while he sets up rocks, but the sand boosted garganacl switches in and takes only 17% from shadow ball, and at that point something inside me already knew it was over.
The turns go by as I can't find an opening until he sets up a dragon dance with baxcalibur, forcing me to sacrifice kingambit to force it out with hatterene or nuzzle him. I do force it out and manage to paralyze his iron moth, but it's not enough progress as he reads my switch to clodsire, setting up sand again with tyranitar. I switch in zoroark and deal quite a bit with shadow ball since he too had terastalized turn 1, but I later fail to break through his garganacl, even with the healing wish for zoroark from hatterene after an absolutely useless nuzzle to try and catch a switch.
I forfeit, ending a dreadful game 1 for me.
Looking back at this, there's a bunch of things that I could have done better like not wasting my tera turn 1 since I was disguised as great tusk, although the nuzzle wasn't as bad as it looks like to me since either way I'd have made no progress but catching a switch might have put me in a more favourable situation, but ultimately what ended up costing the game was a complete miss on my original gameplan.

Game 2 - Sparks of hope

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(Replay here: https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9ou-1825129375)
Game 2 was just as much of a wash, arguably even more, as game 1, but this time for him, since this time the plan worked as I swept him before he could really adapt.
Off to a much better start as he mementos with his lead spidops while I knock off, keeping the disguise up, then I u-turn on his baxcalibur as it sets up a dragon dance, so I go to my scarf great tusk just to see it tera into ghost and be immune to my close combat, and that's where I probably should have lost tusk, but he chokes, going for another dragon dance instead of icicle crash to ko my tusk.
That gives me the opportunity to switch into kingambit, and his icicle crash even misses, but that doesn't end up even mattering as the next turn he goes for an earthquake into my tera flying kingambit, allowing me to neutralize the single biggest threat to my fucking team.
From there on, his team just can't handle scarf tusk, and the game is truly sealed when I manage to trick hatterene's specs onto garganacle, so he forfeits not long after.
And just like that, game 3 it was.

Game 3 - The final showdown

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(Replay here: https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9ou-1825132615)
Game 3 was by far the closest one, it truly went back and forth, even if the original plan didn't work since he was running heavy duty boots on all of his offensive threats apart from hydragon, which isn't affected by webs thanks to levitate anyways, and that's probably a big factor contributing to my final downfall.
Turn 1 is the worst yet for me, as I lead with greninja and try to pivot out of spidops with u-turn, but he catches me with a super effective first impression that OHKOd me and really caught me off guard, but I still wasn't gonna go down that easily, so I switched in kingambit for a free swords dance and went for a sweep, which worked, he even wasted his tera on garganacl by still getting OHKOd by iron head, until disaster stroke: when hydragon came out, I knew I had to make a choice, since a draco meteor wouldn't have KOd me, but every hydragon runs a move to hit steels for super effective, and sucker punch couldn't have OHKOd him, so I chose to tera into flying and...
He read me like a book.
The draco meteor landed, KOing my kingambit and saving him the game, making me waste my tera in the process, but the game is not over yet. I switch in cinderace, unaware of the omnipresence of timbs on his team, and as I court change to set webs on his side, he switches to baxcalibur, ready for a dragon dance sweep. I'm forced to u-turn into zoroark as he dragon dances, forcing me to let zoroark faint to glaive rush, but I manage to force bax out with cinderace's sucker punch, which barely doesn't pick up the KO but also lets me survive the incoming earthquake. He switches in hydragon as i fail the sucker punch, so I u-turn to gholdengo, but he has the slower u-turn, sending in iron moth and forcing my gholdengo out, and here's where he truly seals the deal, predicting my switch to baxcalibur with sludge wave which, thanks to the higher base power than fiery dance, lets him 2HKO me, and at this point is basically over. I manage to take down basically the rest of his team, but at this point I can't even win the 2v1 against iron moth, ending the set 2-1 for spidops.
Here, my biggest mistake, apart from that dreadful turn 1, which also probably would have changed the outcome of this game had I expected it, was by far that terastalization on kingambit at the wrong moment, which not only stopped my sweep, but prevented me from using tera fairy on zoroark against baxcalibur. Literally every other play would have been better there, especially since, even switching out, I'd have had a free swords dance anyways thanks to defiant, but alas, I can't even be mad, I just got straight up outplayed.

Final thoughts - A bittersweet end to a great set

Honestly, even though I've made some pretty glaring mistakes, causing me to lose the set, it was a relatively close battle, and for sure a fun one that I'd be happy to do again, although I can't say I'm not even a bit salty, but I gotta respect the amazing plays and the control my opponent had, I guess he really does work best under pressure, good game and very well played.
Ultimately though, what I want to say the most is that "Unfortunate" doesn't begin to describe my series, this game rewards blind luck and nothing else, I am beyond convinced at this point. After getting completely tooled by scheduling with my opponent changing times on me last minute and refusing to provide confirmation prior to the day of the match as to play times, losing this way somehow felt even worse than I had thought possible. My preparation was superior, my play was superior, and I lost, so I don't see a reason to continue engaging in an activity where what is within my control is overwhelmingly outweighed by what is not.
I am done with competitive Pokemon, and you won't get a fond farewell. This community is infected to its roots with a degenerative disease that grows stronger over time but stops short of killing its host. Tournaments used to have a competitive spirit at their heart, this has been transplanted and replaced with an artificial organ that feeds on vitriol and mockery from insecure little boys that heckle by the sidelines and tear each other to shreds over scraps of attention. The environment we fostered has trapped us all like this in a vicious cycle, and escaping it requires acceptance of the harshest reality we all scramble to explain away, that none of the countless straining efforts we put ourselves through here will ever amount to one single shining glimmer of significance. I would make this the end, but World Cup is still ongoing, and I would never leave so many great friends out to dry, so I'll suffer through a few more games for them.
One last thing before I leave you all to react with disdain, ridicule, and self-righteous fervor, before you do everything in your power to minimize my words and thoughts, box them up and shove them to some cobwebbed corner of your memory, and hope they disappear forever as a stain on your finite time ground to dust. From this moment on, nothing you say matters to me. The foulest insults you hurl with intent to wound will calmly settle at the earth before my feet, and the venom you spit will bring all the pain of a warm summer breeze. You are less than anything you can conceive, while I carry on, brimming with joy distilled from detachment.
(P.S. spidops if you ever see this one day I want a rematch best of 5)