Propranolol half life 10mg
2010.09.25 18:15 Benzodiazepine Discussion
https://discord.gg/bonzos Come chat with other benzo users on our discord!
2009.02.26 20:08 Childfree
Discussion topics and links of interest to childfree individuals.
2020.12.24 14:41 deckard222 Talia Papantoniou
Fan subreddit dedicated to the beautiful Talia Papantoniou.
2023.05.30 13:27 Hardone-1 After 20 years of anxiety, I am *almost off all Benzodiazepines
This is the happiest I've been in a long time. *Please if you read this, do not make sudden changes to you medications! Please consult a physician. (I was on 2mg a day xanax from 17 to 26 started klonopin at 27 to present)
I used Mushrooms to lower my Klonopin usage! Mushrooms have played a big role in my life for the last three years. Psilocybin has almost completely Cured my depression and my anxiety levels are at an all time low. So much so, I went from three 1mg Clonazepam a day, down to one. It's taken several months to get down to one pill a day. (Please do not lower, stop or change any medicine you are taking without asking your doctor) I achieved this by following a doctors recommendations myself, and twice a month I'd take high doses of psilocybin. My mushroom dosage was 5 to 10 grams. I have a decent amount of experience with mushrooms, and can safely say I knew what I was in for, except for the first 10 gram trip. Which was a wild experience and one night I will never forget. I should also mention the mushrooms were APEs, and it was my first encounter with them. I believe that it wouldn't have been possible to get to where I am today without the use of psilocybin. So, by adjusting the milligrams and using even less on day's where I felt it was unnecessary. Cutting back was easier than I ever thought. I took 1/4 less of a pill for 2 weeks then 1/4 of a pill less for another two weeks. After I was able to take 2 and a half a day, I jumped down to only 2 pills a day. Some days were rough, but battled through them. Two more weeks of 1/4 less then another 2 weeks with 1/2 less a pill and I was down to 1 and a quarter. I stayed at this level for two more weeks. Now I'm down to one a day. I never thought it would be possible to come off the benzos, but now it's looking like a nice chance that I will be able to stop totally. Maybe I will regain my memory, or the ability to remember. Peace and love to all.
*Edited for spelling
submitted by Hardone-1
to Psychedelic [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 13:25 LoneWyvern69 Owning a Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra - THE TIMELINE
- Two to four weeks before decision to purchase - spending hundreds of hours online, checking YouTube videos, reading countless reviews, asking dumb questions on forums, envying the owners, studying comparison charts, checking and rechecking your bank account and calculating your usual expenditures, listing the things you may survive without for the next 2 years and trying to convince yourself that the phone you already have is just fine. But you know is not.
- Decision day arrives, it's now or never, what can go wrong, fuck that Ibiza vacation cuz you can go camping in the backyard and have the same fun, you convinced the wife/SO/parents/cat/dog/kids and that cousin who's actually your only friend that this phone is actually a smart investment and your efficiency at life will increase sensibly, not to mention that, this being the apex of all the phones on the planet at this moment, you won't need another phone in the next 6 years, at least.
- Purchase day, in many cases the same day as the decision one, grand emotions, you input your bank data in the online form and press enter, then all that anxiety you built for the last month gets instantly topped with a new anxiety: the hope that the courier won't fuck up your precious delivery, so you'll be spending the next hours/days clicking every half an hour on that tracking button on the courier's webpage.
- Delivery day, finally you have your precious in your hands. If you got it from a dealer in the town, then the way back home is the longest day: the bus/tube/train is late, then is fucken' slow or, even worse, gets caught is some unexpected traffic which is happening usually only to you, you're sweating profusely because the precious is burning unpacked in your pockets. Of course, on your last hundred meters you'll meet all the lost friends you haven't seen in the last 35 years and need to catch up with you and the last challenge is that old neighbour lady who's kindly asking you to find her cat who disappeared five minutes ago. In the end, you get incredibly lucky and manage to open the door with the correct key in the first try.
- The next hours are and will be a blur for the rest of your life.
- Next week it's a flurry of events related to your new phone, starting with studying the forums and reading the reviews for the best screen protector and case, ordering it online and install it, only to read two day later that they're shit and you should've order different crap from another manufacturer. You feel a bit empty, but nauseous, after your fuck up with two different TPU screen protectors, £20 each, and they came undone after 6 hours and decide to bite the bullet and buy the fucken expensive dome glass, which promptly arrives and you need to drink half of bottle of scotch to gather the courage to install it, but you manage to do it, again in the first try and, look mum, no bubbles! You're getting more and more confident, especially after you notice that the battery life improves day after day, an aspect you're expecting anyway, since you're smart and read all the damn posts about it on reddit and you're silently congratulating yourself for the best choice you made in your uneventful life so far. You're testing all the photography modes and you're baffled about the moon quality and then you get really confused about it after you read even more reddit posts and online technical articles. You're waiting anxiously for every monthly firmware upgrade, which promises to take your already exceptional smartphone to the next level of awesomness. You don't see any difference, but you blame it on your total ignorance when it comes to electronic devices.
- A month passes. You already treat your S23 Ultra like an old friend, there are no general secrets any more, a bit of roughness in manipulating it is understandable, the dome glass is resisting admirably, you've taken a good share of pictures and movies of the neighbour's cat and, somewhere in the deepest corner of your still excited brain, there's a worm telling you that there's not a huge difference in picture quality, but you blame it on your genetic inability to differentiate between a 16 million colour image and 24 million colours image. The sound's a bit better though, although you never waste time listening Spotify on your phone's speaker, but hey, there's an improvement. It's fast and you're still impressed by the speed it opens the apps and it feels good when you notice the the envy in the others eyes every time you take your phone out of the pocket. You're an Ultra fiend.
- Three months passed. You're still careful when putting the phone on your desk or nightstand.
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2023.05.30 13:16 Gloomy_Albatross3043 Why I think Red Harlow is the best gunslinger in the franchise
There's a huge debate in the red dead fandom on who is the best gunslinger. Alot always say Arthur morgan, some say rdr1 John marston, and a select few such as myself who say Red Harlow.
Now Arthur Morgan is indeed an amazing gunslinger, his skills presented through out rdr2 is mind-blowing. However I feel that out of the three, he's the least skilled. I think rdr1 John is more skilled than Arthur from rdr2, I'd list why but this post isn't about John, it's about Red.
I'd say this is how I'd order the three in terms of gun skills. 3) Arthur morgan 2) John Marston 1) Red Harlow.
Red Harlow is undoubtedly in my mind the most skilled and dangerous gunslinger in not just the Red dead franchise but western media in general.
The reason why I state such a bold statement is because when you analysis Red Harlows feats in Revolver, you begin to realise how godly he really is as a gunslinger.
First of all, let's talk about Red Harlow when he was just a small child. We see that Reds childhood home was invaded by the men sent from Deigo after making a deal with Nates business partner Griffon, who sold Nate out for his own life. When they surpise attack the home, Young Red Harlow had only just began to practice his shooting with his first ever gun, yet immediately he's thrown into a huge gunfight with no prior training, but despite that Red is just killing all of the men with ease. He had no training with a gun, nor any experience in a gunfight, hell he was a literal child, yet here he is going pop pop pop and making armed men drop. Remember these men are not just dumb outlaws, they were specifically sent by deigo,(a general from the Mexican army) so these men must have had a lifetime of training, only to be shot like flies by a kid who had no training with a gun. Its obvious that Red Harlow was a born to be gunslinger, and it foreshadows his path of becoming the ultimate fighter.
Even when his parents were murdered right infront of him, Young Red went for his father's gun (which was engulfed in flames) without any hesitation or concern for his own safety, and somehow managed to hit Daren with his hand on literal fire. Red Harlow even as a child was so brave and did things that a full grown outlaw couldn't do.
However despite all this praise, Red Harlow was still a child and still needed years of training to become the god of gunslingers that he's known for. Sure enough for the rest of the game, we play Red harlow as a grownup, and instantly we realise how very very skilled and dangerous he is.
Inorder or present all of Red Harlows insane feats, I'm going to make a list of all the batshit impossibility stuff he pulled off in the game. Please keep in mind that all of these events I'm gonna list, all happen within just roughly 2 days of each other, which makes them even more impressive.
First of all, Red Harlow takes on a ruthless gang by himself at Twin Rocks. He had to fight against around 10 armed men, a very impressive feat for just one man. He goes to Widows Patch hoping for some bounty money from the gang he took down, however instead he choses to take down another big and notorious gang that took over widows patch. Red had to take on around 15 armed men in this battle all by himself, again a very impressive feat, especially when you consider that he just took on a gang before this one.
Red then goes on a train to Brimstone, on this train a huge gang attacks the train to rob it. Red has to duel a man before running ontop of the freaking train while killing tons of armed men with ease. He fights of possibly around 60 outlaws all by himself on a moving train all by himself, even more impressive.
At Brimstone Red Harlow then goes off to fight and win against 3 huge gangs with massive prices on their heads, he takes on these 3 very big and dangerous gangs all by himself. For the first one he does bump into Jack Swift who helps alittle for the first gang, but aside from that Red Harlow fights them all alone. While fighting the last gang, he duels and wins against 3 experienced outlaws. He does all of what I've said so far on this list in the exact same day.
That night, Red Harlow causes a big brawl in Brimstone saloon. Red Harlow manages to fight off against huge buff men in the saloon without a scratch on him. Afterwards he then casually takes on another gang of outlaws in the next room, which started by Red dueling one of their men. Again all I've listed so far has happened in the same day.
After Red finds out that it was General Deigo who sent those men to kill him and his parent's, he immediately sets of to take on the entire Mexican army by himself. He attacks a Fort that is guarded by trained solders and wins against a huge wagon that was described by the sheriff as "a fortress on wheels" and he does all this like its nothing. Red did have the drop on him by Daren and was imprisoned in the mine that Deigo owned which was right next to the Fort Deigo. Being freed by his cousin Shadow Wolf, Red immediately manages to escape the mine. By the way, this mine was filled with armed miners, yet he managed to escape and kill most if not all of them.
Immediately after that with his weapons back, he attacks the Fort with Shadow Wolf by his side. Red manages to kill every single armed and trained solider in the Fort, including Daren. And right after that Red went after the Mexican train where he kill tons more of Deigos men and eventually Deigo himself. So let's just pause for a moment. Red Harlow, by himself, has done ALL of what I've said so far in just a day and a half.... what the fuck.
It gets even more crazy when after he kills Deigo, he goes back into Brimstone and signs up for the battle Royal, which is the dueling competition. Red Harlow faces against gunslingers like Mr Kelley, who is actually just as fast as Arthur Morgan. And Red manages to out duel Kelley and win. Please also note that in the book, the Sheriff himself states that "being better than most won't cut it, you have to be the best to win" and Red Harlow was the man who won the duel tournament.
Right after this, Red Harlow with Annie and Jack Swift go after Governor Griffon in his massive white house. This place was armed to the teeth with trained soldiers, and Red just casually kills them all. Red even manages to protect Jack for 2 minutes while he was unlocking the front door, protecting Jack from tons and tons of armed soldiers who are trying to kill Red and Jack.
Ofcourse Red manages to kill everyone and duels the Governor in the end, who is possibly just as fast if not faster than rdr1 John. Red rides off into the sunset with his new scorpion revolver from Griffon, satisfied with his revenge.
Red Harlow, basically all alone in this entire game, managed to do ALL OF THIS SHIT in just 2 days...
Red Harlow possiblely killed hundreds and hundreds of armed men in just 2 days. Red Harlow dueled and won again some of the greatest gunslingers in the franchise, he could kill abunch of men within a second before they could draw leather, he took on the biggest and most dangerous gangs in the series like it was nothing, and he did all of that in 2 days...
Now Arthur Morgans feats and John Marstons feats are very very impressive, however those feats happen within possibly weeks. Red Harlow managed to do so much more in so less time.
Red Harlow has to be the best gunslinger, he just has to be. I'm sorry if this is too long I just wanted to share my opinion on this subject.
submitted by Gloomy_Albatross3043
to reddeadredemption [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 13:11 Burneracc2004 Do you notice "Mistakes" / "Flaws" when you watch Youtubers
Im at 1250 subs and I have being doing youtube since around february 2022. I have made at least 100 videos (half are private) and I was watching them and I can confidently say I have definently improved. One thing ive noticed from all my videos is that I say the word "Like" alot I use it as a filler word. some people use "umm", "so", "You know" but I literally mostly use the word "Like" I only realised this the past few days and its a habit ive had all my life because of where im from and my accent. I would say watch my videos to see if you notice it but because ive mentioned it you will be looking out for it lmao. My question basically is will people get annoyed by it or will they just not even notice it? Not one person has left a comment about it but maybe im just over analysing myself
(Im going to work on trying not to say it as much cus I personally just find it annoying now Ive noticed it)
submitted by Burneracc2004
to NewTubers [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 13:11 OoopsieWhoopsie Oh? Give me attitude because you think you're entitled to see my son whenever you feel like it? I'll snitch you out to everyone.
Buckle up, because this is a long one, but I'll put the TL;DR at the top to save you some time.
TL;DR: My mom thinks she's entitled to see my newborn son whenever she feels like it, on her schedule. Copped a major attitude when I told her that she can't visit during my FiL's short time with him, and wouldn't compromise when I offered her a better time when her other daughter and granddaughters will be visiting from out of state. I snitched her out to my aunt and grandma, mom said on FB my sister and I were keeping her away from her grandkids, we all clapped back with proof.
My mom(56) and I(26f) have never had a good relationship. She's a narcissist, chooses men over her own family, and acts like her kids are an embarrassment and a burden. I am the youngest of 3, and all of us are polite, law abiding citizens that have never gave her a reason to feel ashamed of us. Near the end of her marriage with her ex husband, all three of us went NC, but my older brother hadn't spoken to her in almost 10 years.
I had moved 2300 miles away, looking for a fresh start, and I was finally happy. My aunt, her sister, would give me unsolicited updates on her, and about two years into my new life, my mom's was crashing down. My aunt begged me to help her, and I stupidly did. I got my mom out of her abusive marriage and she had to literally flee in the middle of the night and drive to me.
Not 6 months after she left and her divorce was finalized, she breaks my ((No dating for 1 year rule)) because she's a serial dater and starts seeing this guy she works with. 3 weeks later she moves in with him, leaving half her crap at my place. She lives 15 minutes away
I recently gave birth to my beautiful son almost two weeks ago. He is the best thing to have ever happen to my fiancé and I and we couldn't be happier... Well maybe if my mom wasn't such a brat about everything.
If I had to give a percentage to the amount of support I've received from her during my pregnancy AND delivery, it's like 3%. I stupidly thought she'd be a mom and be there for me during my delivery, instead she sat on the recliner, bitched about how late at night and how tired she is, and when it came to actually pushing, she just sat on her phone playing Candy Crush. Seriously, the OB was about to kick her out, he was so annoyed. Mind you, I had been having non-stop, back to back agonizing contractions for 4 hours and I didn't call her until my water broke and they gave me the epidural for her to come in. Once my son was out and into the world, she stayed for maybe 10 mins and then bounced because she was "exhausted". I didn't engage her asshole nature because I wanted a stress free labor. And that's just the cliff notes version of her behavior, there's a lot more and a lot worse. Oh and to top it off, my son was born (early morning) on her and her boyfriend's 1 year anniversary so apparently I ruined her special day. Because of her "all nighter" that she claims to have pulled, she got a sinus infection and I banned her from seeing my son until she got better.
Last Friday, she got the all clear from her doctor and we planned a 1pm visit on Sunday. 12:30pm she texts me "I'll be by later." I asked her what time she need to reschedule so that my son would be in a good mood for her. No reply. 5pm rolls around and I asked her if she was coming over at all. She said "No, I got an allergic reaction to Poison Oak and my eyes are swollen." Okay whatever, I don't want that near my son anyways. I let her know that my FiL will be visiting this week, but my sister and nieces, her other daughter and granddaughters, are making the 11 hour drive up this weekend.
My amazing fiancé (27m) is from Puerto Rico. He has zero family that lives here. Everyone lives in PR. His parents are going through a divorce after 28 years of marriage. Our son is their first grandchild. My FiL was in the states visiting his extended family when my son was born. He bought a $500+, last minute, one way ticket to see his grandson. It was also the first time I met him. He's a lovely man and even made me dinner his first night here. He wouldn't let me cook for him because I "needed to rest". Like father, like son.
My mom calls me and asks when she can see my son. I remind her that my FiL is here for only 3 days, but her daughter and granddaughters will be here this weekend so it'll be even better for her to come over then.
Oh no, that doesn't work for her. She gets pissy with me, asking why she can't visit during the week, essentially wanting to steal what precious little time my FiL has. She says "I only want to visit for 15-20mins". Yep. That short. She cannot for some reason, bare to hang out with me for more than that or she "gets bored". Everything that I have in quotes are actual direct words from her btw. I ask her why she's being so bratty about this and she says "You know what?! Nevermind! Forget it. You can't make time for me and you're making excuses to keep me away from my grandson." I tell her that she had her chance to see him Sunday, appointment made and everything, I don't know why visiting this weekend would be so hard for her. She keeps copping more attitude and entitlement towards me, and I tell her that I'm done and hang up.
And I'm done. She does not get to dictate when she sees MY son. I even offered her a better opportunity and she acted like a child not getting the toy they wanted. So I told my sister. Then I got the grand idea of ratting her out to my aunt and grandma since my mom loves to put on airs that she's been present in my life.
So I did, and oh boy are they pissed. While I am having a phone call with them, my mom is posting on her Facebook about how her kids are keeping her away from her grandkids when all she does is try to "Support and be there for them". Of course her friends are commenting saying that "millennials these days think they can do whatever they want and not think about other people's feelings" and "So sorry they are treating you this way. You are a wonderful woman, and you deserve to see your grandbabies, file for visitation under the grandparents rights" ACTUAL COMMENTS.
And we let them know the REAL truth of how great of a grandma my mom really is. And I mean me, my sister, my aunts (because now both of my mom's sisters are involved instead of just the one), my fiancé, and even my brother who at this point went from NC to LC with her through association with me, all commented and told her friends the real truth, with screenshots to prove it.
Now she's been crying and saying her friends are calling her fake and that I've ruined her social life. My grandma called her and told her that my grandpa would be ashamed of her if he knew how she's been behaving.
Don't paint me and my sister out to be the bad guy when you are the one who put yourself in this position. Maybe if you were actually the great mother and grandmother you pretended to be, we wouldn't be here.
So did I snitch? Hell yeah I snitched. I'm a mother now and I will NEVER be like her.
((In case anyone is wondering why I kept giving her chance after chance... She's my mom. All I ever wanted was my mom to love me and be my mom. My dad died tragically when I was 7 and I have felt like an orphan ever since. I've been a burden to her and all I wanted was her maternal love.))
submitted by OoopsieWhoopsie
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2023.05.30 13:10 resurrective Chapter 18 - The toxic grace
It only took a moment. By the time Keyaruga opened his eyes… Or, well, what felt like an awakening, either way, he found himself in a realm of endless light. As dazzling as it might’ve looked, it never blinded the man… nor all of his companions, standing in this luminous wasteland.
“Girls! Girls, are you alright?!” The red-eyed lad dashed toward the four of them, trying to give them a warm hug, while the golden egg rested nearby.
“Uh-huh.” Setsuna happily accepted his embrace, and, being the first to reply, she wanted to share her experience, to tell everyone about everything she’d been through, but alas, only she alone could properly pass this trial by redeeming herself in the face of her fallen brethren. Sadly, everyone else was a lot less eager to drop their guard.
“Oh, look, I think that’s over.” Ellen noticed, addressing her sister, who still held her staff in preparation to break into that last remaining dome. But no, everything had come to an end… Now, they only needed to face Caladrius.
“I don’t think we’re ready. We… never could’ve received their forgiveness fairly…” The world-breaking sorceress lamented, slamming her staff into the floor, just so she wouldn’t collapse. Of course, the Hero of Healing came to her rescue, but she just forced herself to stand still. “T-thanks… But… I’m not the one, who needs you the most right now.” The elder princess spoke, pointing to Eve. She stood a few steps away from them, staring into the void.
“Fucking pigeon, I knew we shouldn’t have come here…” The fallen warlady uttered, looking at the queen-to-be, who seemed absolutely lost to the world. No tears had yet been spilled from her crimson eyes; no concerns to those around her were given either.
“How are you, Eve?” The man asked, trying to get closer to his companion, but she merely took a step away from him.
STAY AWAY FROM ME, MONSTER!!!
These words still resounded in his head, tormenting the lad more than any sort of torture could, and seeing Eve shying away from him, filled his heart with so much sorrow, that he barely held his breath still. He had to… Otherwise, he’d certainly cry.
“It’s alright… I’ve met Yuel, Mero, and Naala… It’s alright, I’ve met… Naala, and… I’ve met… M… Mero…” When the girl finally opened her mouth, she started blabbering the same thing over and over again. Whatever she had to suffer through, it left a great scar in her mind… “M-mom… Dad… W-why?.. Why did you-?..” And finally, she broke. Tears started flowing from her painfully swollen eyes, and the girl finally collapsed on her knees. “Ugh… Uh… UA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A!!!” And just like that, a loud wail thundered around this quiet space of endless light, the substance that just formed a tunnel made of mystical illumination. A safe passage to the outside world, certainly.
But no, nobody would go anywhere just yet, not until Eve Reese calms down at least. All that the others could do was to wait. Wait and be there for her.
A warm sun, a breeze of wind, fresh air under a blue sky – one never misses those things, until they’re devoid of them entirely. Either way, now that the party left that accursed realm, they found themselves at the same valley from which Caladrius sent them on to the trial.
“…” They were silent, all of them, starting with Keyaruga, now carrying the gilded egg on his back again. He was still trying to get over what he saw. Even if Anna indeed forgave him, and had not just gone mad over what kind of ruthless beast her ward became, her words would never leave his mind.
“Easy now.” Setsuna spoke, supporting Eve, as she barely moved her legs. Ellen walked nearby, still unsure what she should do with Organ’s plea. Both she and her sister heard it, but neither could face the man with that. Not now, not when the hero, even though he remained calm and collected, somehow looked even worse than his broken queen.
“Caladrius.” The sorceress spoke, stopping before the massive ten-meter tall bird. Weirdly enough, the group only noticed her when they were just four meters away from her massive feathered body, her torso was covered with a golden cuirass, painted in purple, along with the beak-plate which served the harbinger of plague as a crown. All of them ultimately aligned their sights with her four eyes. The wisdom of ages was reflected there, but alas, it was overshadowed by what can only be called ultimate arrogance.
“There you are little ones.” The divine bird spoke, lowering her head just enough, so that humans wouldn’t have to look up all the time. Still, even that gesture wasn’t enough for Freia to drop her weapon.
“Et aperire caelum elementa multa…” The sorceress began chanting her ultimate spell. This time, she wouldn’t take any chances. After what she’d done to Eve, this creature had to die! Or else…
“Don’t… do this.” Well, that turn of event wouldn’t please the goddess. And such, the kokuyoku scion broke out from Setsuna’s embrace just to stand between the caster and her living idol.
“Have we passed?” Keyaruga, asked, standing besides the black-winged prodigy. After all, the further development would depend on their result on this test. Or, rather, how the host reacts.
“You sure did. Your methods were… unorthodox, to say the least.” Caladrius replied, giving each of the party a deep scrutinizing look. Her doubled eyes were fixated on Keyaruga, especially. “You, shapeshifted children, I sense a great darkness in you three. And yet, none of you should fear me anymore.” She said with that middle-aged womanly voice of hers, urging Freia to lower her staff already. “No matter, you merely had to prove to me your endurance, erudition, and the power of your will to become worthy of my grace. I care little for how exactly you survived under my plague, and what you said to placate those who came for you. I am actually rather delighted to see such a contrarian attitude with which you passed my test.”
“You fucking should be!” Ellen snarled, ragingly pressing her finger against the shielded beak. “Your trials were impassable for everyone besides us! You knew that! You knew nobody could beat them without wrecking your little salty mumbo-jumbo!” The girl accused the bird, as if she was just some ungracious host, and not one of the mightiest entities in all the continent of Enoa.
“It’s true! Without my power, we’d starve in your city!” The magician added, pushing her sister behind her back. “How many of Evy’s people had to die because of you? You… You know a demon can’t be a hero, like me!”
“They can, we just cannot risk them falling under the control of something...malevolent.” Caladrius argued with a deliberately ambiguous comment. “To reach the heart of my domain, all you had to do was to calculate the logic in the fractal sequence of…”
“Bullshit! There were no fractals! No building was like the rest, so either you’re spitting lies here, or just think none of us knows math!” The little genius interrupted the explanation with another one of her bitter comments. “Oh, let me guess-!..”
“Enough.” The younger princess was then silenced by Setsuna, who covered her mouth with her hand – a radical move, to say the least, but not entirely out of place, when dealing with an overwhelmingly powerful creature.
“Hmm, I like your tenacity, Norn Clatalissa Jioral, but you only saw my domain from the outside.” The harbinger of plague notified her, but rather then proceeding further with the matter of the bratty general challenging her, she turned her head toward Eve, who stood next to Keyaruga. “It has been a long time, since we saw each other, Me-ua. I am glad to see this new consort of yours is much more respectful toward you. Yet somehow, he is even more depraved than the last one.” And just like that, the deity revealed her insight of the first world, Eve’s close alliance with Keyaruga, and how fortunate she was to have him around instead of Cornar. But that wasn’t the most intriguing part of this.
“I know. It’s… been two years since last met.” It was the reply that the verdant woman gave her, that brought to light a terrifically curious fact.
“Eve… you too?” Keyaruga murmured, realizing, that he now had one more dreamer alongside him. The man exhaled in comprehension, his ‘sister’ slammed her palm against her own forehead, Setsuna spotted a new soul to provide emotional care to, and Freia just couldn’t help but… Well, her feelings about this new revelation were mixed at best. She did want to find out what she’d done ‘back’ then, but at the same time, in doing so, she would certainly discover a lot more cruelties done by her hand; especially those directed at Keyaru.
“I need strength. Bless me, Caladrius. And… age me. I can’t remain a child now.” Eve all but demanded. Somehow, she wasn’t just a fearful kid anymore. This time, the Me-ua kahul radiated dignity, she even spoke with the deity as an equal.
“Very well, little queen. You were never undeserving of my grace.” And with that said, Caladrius carefully touched Eve’s forehead with her beak. Upon doing so, a whirlwind of energy, a flux of white and purple, picked up the girl, and enveloped her completely. Looking at it felt so familiar for Keyaruga. After all, this power destroyed and created, ruined one to shape another. All the clothes Eve had been wearing were torn apart, reduced to primal particles, her skin was scourged, and then replaced with one of a tanned tone, the girl’s hair was bleached, and above it – a crown of two pointy horns grew right from her skull. This wasn’t just a girl now – this was a woman, clad in a dress of red and black, the decorative pauldrons of which, as well as golden bracelets, defied the power of gravity itself. This… was how Keyaru met the Me-ua in the first world.
And what had changed in her stat-wise? Well, nothing – that same fifty-fourth level, with which Eve entered the trial, no change in potential, nor any other graph. Except for one…
Level cap: ∞
“Congratulations, Eve. You’re a hero now.” The red-eyed lad praised his companion. In just a moment, she aged by four years. Her face was still young and pretty, her height got only slightly longer, but the proportions made the whole difference. Hips and breasts – they got some improvements, which the healer would never miss.
“I suppose this settles our deal. With this, you can summon me again.” The harbinger of sickly doom graciously spoke to her chosen one. Unlike other gods, she couldn’t just change a person’s entire class. A full-fledged hero didn’t only have the potential for infinite growth, but also provided a bonus of doubled experience for them and their party, the trait that Eve lacked. Still, Caladrius giving her champion an unlimited level cap was a game-changer nonetheless. Nevertheless, there was one more thing to ponder… “Although… you already know the price for my assistance.”
“Of fucking course! You’ll kill her for that, you monster!” Ellen raged, stomping her little foot against the rocky ground, while her sister braced for whatever consequences her sibling’s brutal honesty might cause.
“Forgive her, Caladrius. She’s just… too worried about me.” The lady in red spoke kindly, patting the god’s golden beak.
“Hmm. That is, indeed, relatable. Still, how precious it is to see your former enemies now have become your allies. Is that your accomplishment, little man?” The white bird asked of the hero. Did she try to offend him? Not so much, really. To her, even a draconid of a baffling two and a half meters tall would still be ‘small’. That didn’t make it less insulting, though.
“Yes. Why?” Keyaruga growled, facing two pairs of eyes, with which Caladrius gazed into him, right to his very soul. The healer had a similar power, but being read himself filled him with at least cautiousness toward the deity.
Flare – she was the one, who brought so much pain to Eve’s heart, she scourged thousands, and even if they were revived by Keyaru’s redo, the queen’s memories still held this agony.
Norn – this one lead armies against Tenanulic, her vile strategies were never burdened by human decency or a warrior’s concept of honor. Scourged earth, poisoned wells, hand-crafted epidemics, bribery, and genocide – this little girl was responsible for so many atrocities, that she had broken her own spirit by committing them.
And, finally, Keyaru. The Hero of Healing, who was there to land the last strike on the demon queen. Only Setsuna was completely innocent, just because she’d die from the disease caused by a monster’s rotting corpse, if not for this enigmatic man.
“Eve Reese – it is your call now. What should I do with them?” And so, the white-haired lady was given a choice. Right now, Caladrius could unleash all of her power without asking for anything in return. Even if she herself suffered from fatigue after conducting all those trials, the harbinger of plague could still easily bury her enemies under a pile of toxic ash. Still, it wasn’t for her to choose now.
“Oh well, now we’re screwed.” Ellen chuckled, shaking her head. Freia and Setsuna assumed a battle stance, and even Keyaruga gave the girl a dark glare.
I’m sorry, birdie. But if you endanger my girls, I… You’ll have to see me as I truly am.
The deep silence loomed above them all. One word, one single word could decide the party’s fate. To Caladrius, not only were they outsiders, but also the enemies of her champion as well. No matter if their crimes were mostly erased, she just didn’t really trust them.
But she trusted Eve.
“Bless them, like you’ve blessed me.” The Me-ua kahul asked, smiling toward her friends and the man she loved. The woman absolutely comprehended the power she was given, and yet, there were things, people, little kindnesses, that she could never forget. Not after they helped her to break free from the chains placed upon her in the first world.
“Evy…” Freia muttered with obvious relief. She glanced at Keyaruga, and he looked as stoic as he did most of the time. Did he learn that from Setsuna? After all, she too merely lowered her arms.
“He-he-he-he-heh…” Only one of them nervously chuckled. The crimson-haired princess just wanted this excruciating day to end at last, even if it barely began.
“Oh my! That is quite bold of you to ask.” Caladrius pronounced somewhat mockingly. After all, she was never obliged to reward humans (including demi-humans) just for surviving her challenges.
“Do you refuse?” Eve inquired accusingly. It made the others wonder, what kind of power she really had over the full-fledged god.
“I never said so. It is… different with them. My power is contagious, and only the ancient pact with your tribe allows you to safely enjoy my grace.” The toxic deity explained, now looking at the party with a deep thoughtfulness in her doubled eyes. “We can figure something out.” She added, drawing her beak near the brooding man. “Hmm, you are quite the curious individual, a human, yet, at the same time, something very different.”
“How should I take this ‘compliment’?” The hero wondered, trying to figure out if he was being accused of the many atrocities he committed during his test, or the sheer turmoil that was his sense of morals.
“Take it as your three hearts would please.” Fortunately, though, the feathered doom simply brushed it off by hinting at his modified biology. After all, now that he was under the protection of Eve, there was only one question to answer. “Will you accept my gift?” Caladrius inquired, cautiously watching the lad’s reaction. He wasn’t all that sure than he needed anything else to be complete. Not when he was almost immortal.
“Please, Keyaruga…” And, yet again, the black-winged prodigy asked him, placing her hand on his shoulder. She would never do something like that previously – the little girl was no more, she had changed forever. But, that didn’t dissuade the healer from liking and trusting her, so…
“Alright. I suppose, it can’t get much worse.” The man just shrugged, accepting whatever he could be granted. The lad wouldn’t drop his guard, though. After all, if anything happens to him, it was quite doubtful that Freia could handle this beast on her own.
“Very well.” Aware of this distrust, Caladrius once again placed her beak onto another’s head. Keyaruga didn’t receive a fancy transformation; instead, his left eye got embraced by a gentle purple light. It only stung for a moment, but when it ended, a whole new perspective opened before the hero. Something… intrinsically transcendental.
“Did you just replace… my eye?” The lad asked, trying to figure out what was going on. Barely anything changed… except for the fact that now he saw his own movements from two seconds afar. He was seeing the future…
“Indeed. You are not a stranger to our divine might, so you can handle it.” Caladrius admonished, standing in her full height, just to stretch her neck, as it seemed.
“Is that your power?” Keyaruga wondered, suppressing his left eye. Fortunately, he had plenty of experience with the gift of the star nymph, so it only took him a few seconds to figure out how it worked. That was absolutely necessary; not only did this power drain a whole lot of mana, it also required some time to get used to.
“Mine? Of course not! This gift was born of sacrifice. One feisty demigod gave me his power to me in order to enter my trials. I merely improved upon it.” The harbinger of plague spoke proudly, giving a brief glance toward Ellen.
“That idiot…” The girl snarled, making a sour face. “What? It was Organ! He saved me! Now you have his eye, brother, or… whatever this purple cross on your pupil is.” The fallen warlady revealed, glancing toward the Hero of Magic as well as the rest of the group. After all, if Hawkeye wasn’t there, Freia would only have found her mauled corpse.
“Then, the egg.” Caladrius continued, now tapping her beak against the egg. And just like that, she poured quite a lot of her mana into it, but, just like previously, it consumed everything the bird offered. “You carry a powerful being on your back, little man.”
“Stronger than you?” He wondered somewhat mockingly.
“Indeed.” But the feathered doom wasn’t about to joke about that particular matter. “I owe her a lot, so this is the least I can do.” The god of sickness and rejuvenation spoke with a trace of adoration and… regret. Maybe, that is the true power? To raise others, when you can, so that they may assist you in the time of your greatest need?
“I don’t need anything!” Freia exclaimed when the doubled eyes of Caladrius were now aimed at her. “I just need an answer! Tell me, what’s with my mother?! Is she alive? Can we help her?!” The sorceress asked bravely, her legs were shaky, partly because of the fatigue, partly – the fear of facing the mighty god. Nonetheless, it’s easy to be daring when nothing can oppose you. A standoff against the powerful being is completely different matter.
“Ah, Reeharoze Thalio Jioral! She… is neither dead, nor alive.” The divine dove replied cautiously. This topic lead to many limitations, sealed by numerous and tremendously powerful curses for each deity, who might reveal them.
“Damn! I knew it!” The sorceress snarled, loudly clacking with her teeth. She and Setsuna both tensed, having already faced whatever monstrosity the king turned Buck Tarwill into.
“The best thing you can do for her is to end her suffering in this world.” Caladrius spoke dismissively, lacking any empathy toward some distant mortal, defiled by the power that is the void itself.
“Go kill yourself, if you think it’s merciful!” Ellen snarled, spitting in the direction of the deity. She wouldn’t have anyone defile her mother’s memory, even a god, even if it literally disintegrated her saliva right in the fly.
“Calm down.” Fortunately, though, Setsuna was right there to help the younger princess. She stood between the two of them, but instead of doing anything aggressive, the gray-haired girl just hugged her crimson-haired lover, and guarded her from the harbinger of plague with her spine.
“How can we help her?!” Keyaruga then asked, trying to be a beacon of logic and reason among all of these tormented souls. Eve stood near; she carefully monitored the lad’s movements, reactions, his gestures, and overall attitude.
“You cannot. At least not right now.” Caladrius coldly responded, shifting her heavy gaze toward the man; to be specific – the burden on his back. “But this one – if she desires so, then you might have some hope.” The bird explained briefly. Obviously, nobody among the party was satisfied with the answer.
“We must help them. Please, you must help us!” Even the white-haired queen-to-be spoke up. She already lost her parents twice, and now in assisting Freia and Ellen she saw a chance to ease her own pain.
“I am afraid, my vows prevent me from revealing to you the whole truth, but rest assured, you will find your answer soon enough.” The harbinger of plague and convalescence reassured all of them. Was it a godly prediction of the future? Or something else entirely?
“Then… Then I!..” Freia shook, trying to comprehend this revelation. She now looked at the egg with reverence and craving. She saw nothing but a tool in it, and that didn’t escape Setsuna’s aquamarine eyes.
“Not so fast. It’s Keyaruga’s child (and ours). Don’t put all your hopes on her just yet.” The huntress admonished, still holding Ellen, as she slowly recovered her emotional stability. The ice warrior was trying to save her prodigy from the burden of other’s expectations, but that affected the pink-haired magician only so much.
“Wise words, child of the forest. But just like your claws, they lack penetrative power.” Caladrius stated, and just as she said so, a multitude of small fireflies emerged around the girl. Or, rather, they became visible. These sparks were always there, the spirits of ice, fueling the she-wolf’s magic. Now they gathered around the divine bird’s head, forming something of a halo. They didn’t stay for too long, though, but when they left Caladrius’ side, their gray shine, now infused with the might of the god, now became much brighter, much… colder. “I am afraid; I cannot do much more for your sake, little one.” And with that done, there was only one person, who still remained to be given anything. “Now…”
“Don’t you even dare, you ugly pigeon! I don’t need your rotten power!” Ellen yelled, awkwardly falling out of Setsuna’s grasp. It wasn’t long before she rose up and once again pressed her finger against Caladrius’ gilded beak. At least, she was about to do so, when she pointed at the queen-to-be instead. “If you want to give me something – don’t! Just don’t! All I need from you is to not treat Eve like your glorified snack, okay?! Look, my sister is the Hero of Magic, she can basically do everything you do, but she doesn’t need to eat anyone to cast her spells! So how can you be so entitled to ask for her life?!” The younger princess snarled, as her emerald eyes rapidly shifted between Eve, Freia, Keyaruga, and the divine dove. The latter was taken aback by that passionate speech, unsure if she had to take grievous offence from belittling her might, or outright cackle from this observation. One problem, though – the former had lost her already fragile balance.
“Eve? Are you alright?” Keyaruga asked, catching the black-winged lady in his grip. She was pale, drained, fatigued – this wasn’t just physical weariness, though. The aftermath of the trial caught up with her, now reinforced by the reminder of how terrible a price she’d have to pay for Caladrius’ power.
“Yes…” Eve mumbled, trying to stand on her feet, but the man wouldn’t let her just yet.
“Hold onto me.” He said, trying to be the support for Eve at her lowest time.
“That is an interesting thing to hear from someone like you.” The feathered deity spoke to Ellen. Despite that entire scene, her account with the capricious genius wasn’t paid yet. “At first, you have got my curiosity. Now, you proved to be worthy of my power.” The harbinger of plague added, facing the younger princess now.
“Fuck you! I already said what I need from you, godling!” Still, the obstinate lady wasn’t there to grovel before the glorified dove. She already had a role to adhere to – Norn, Ellen, whatever she was called – was a strategist, a great mind capable of preserving massive amounts of knowledge just by quickly reading it once.
“Creators be merciful, you are a stubborn creature.” Caladrius amused. To her, watching the crimson-haired girl rant was like looking at a overly vocal pup – all bark, but no bite. Not because it wasn’t brave enough, though. Ellen just wasn’t gifted with a strong maw. And that was something Caladrius could help her with. “You are deserving of becoming my apostle!”
“Hah… W-what?” Keyaruga’s ‘sister’ got so dumbfounded, that her head just went round. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling, though, this dizziness made her nauseous.
“You will get exactly what you wish for, and even more, Norn Clatalissa Jioral! Heed me, Eve. I now grant you two chances to summon me without any harm for you!” The harbinger of disease and rejuvenation notified her mistress. It was still dwarfed, compared to what Flare had done, when paired with Gard the Windbreak, and still…
“I… But I don’t…” This little grace nearly pulled the rug out from under Eve’s feet. But again, Keyaruga was there to give her the necessary support.
“And you, princess in name, but no blood, shall be the vessel of my power!” Caladrius declared, turning her determined gaze onto Ellen. Her sister stood nearby, unsure what she should do with that. She knew Norn could be headstrong, at best, even when it came to the things that would benefit her personally. Just like when she refused the offer from her ‘brother’ to age her body to an adult form.
“Make it four usages for Eve, and leave me alone! I don’t need anyone’s pow-!.. Ah!” Right as she was about to start a new scandal with her big mouth, the younger princess rose in the sky, caught by a purple wind from underneath the deity’s giant wings.
“You do not know what is good for you, child!” The god of rot and restoration snarled, as if she was an arrogant petty parent.
“Ghhh!” Freia hissed, waving her staff to break Ellen out of Caladrius’ grip. She succeeded, and Ellen fell in the hands of the Hero of Magic… but it was already too late.
“Oh no… Oh no-no-no-no!” The younger princess frantically shook her head, as her muscles trembled with the newfound strength. It seems, she was no longer a useless child on a battlefield. One would think she’d be glad with this turn of events… But no. “K-Ke… Keya… Keyaruga-a-a! What’s she done to me?!” The girl yelled, reaching for her ‘brother’. He and his lady in red came closer to the girl.
“HOW DARE YOU?!” Freia screamed, accumulating whatever mana she could drain from this lifeless land, even trying to drain Caladrius of it. She proved unsuccessful, though.
“Freia, don’t.” Keyaruga ordered, painting his right eye in the jade hue. He was just about to see something truly majestic.
Class: Apostle of Caladrius
Physical attack: 42
Physical defense: 53
Magic attack: 67
Magic defense: 60
The aspect of plague: 1st level
The aspect of revival: 1st level
Boost to Mana regen: 1st level. The skill of the Apostle of Caladrius, boosts Mana regen by 5%
Mnemonics: acquired skill. Greatly improves mental capacity and remembering speed.
Grace of Caladrius: skill of the Apostle of Caladrius. Gives boost to the magic learning speed of Caladrius’ aspects by 2x
Level cap: 66
Physical attack: 32
Physical defense: 40
Magic attack: 51
Magic defense: 45
Fascinating! Although Ellen’s potential was almost twice as low as the others’, due to her having no royal heritage, or hero’s status, Caladrius not only managed to bypass the age of fourteen, a standard timestamp for a human, but also pump the girl with more than fifty levels!
“She… has given you a class… And you’re now on the fifty-second level…” Keyaruga spoke with his eyes widely opened. Seriously, in terms of progression, this was an act of pure, blatant favoritism on the deity’s side of things!
And how did Ellen take this gift?
“FUCKER!!! THAT’S TOO MUCH EVEN FOR A JOKE!!!” Oh, she was positively furious. After all, no power comes without a price to pay. “You! Who the fuck gave you the right to do this to me?!” The younger princess dashed in the direction of Caladrius’ beak. She eloped Setsuna’s grapple, passed around Keyaruga and Eve – all for the sake of that one punch! One punch to the head of this pompous pigeon with all of her new might! One strike… that didn’t even break the ornamental barrier around the bird.
“Rest assured, child. You have zero obligations before me. I am not the monster you are trying to make of me. You may think of that as my way of thanking you for helping my followers.” With that said and done, Caladrius once again rose to her full height in preparation for flying away. “I hope this alleviates your worries, little one.” “Farewell, du-na Me-ua (o great demon king). We shall meet again.” And just like that, the massive figure rose into the air. And when she’d done so, a white mist engulfed the deity, in which she faded from view completely.
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to RedoOfHealer [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 13:08 DependentOdd1941 Found an old hl2 survivor card
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So im just hanging out at a buddies house and he mentioned how he used to play the half life arcade game all the time which totally threw me off because I knew about the left 4 dead arcade game but I had no idea about a half life one. Anyway he ended up giving me his old play card which I just think is kinda neat. What do you guys think? submitted by DependentOdd1941 to HalfLife [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 13:06 ClassicIllustrious20 I runaway the instant it’s no longer platonic, even if I like the guy.
A bit about myself, I am a 23yr straight female. I’ve always been a shy girl but not the extent that I currently am.
I haven’t grown up around a single healthy relationship. Dad has cheated on mum a couple of times, my aunties have been abused & cheated on, my grandparents have cheated on each other, my friends have been cheated on.
I have been in two long term relationships where I was cheated on in both. The first relationship was from 16-19 & that one was the most heavily abusive relationship in all aspects. The second relationship was from 19-21, which was more so very emotionally abusive & manipulative. Outside of those two relationships, I have never even kissed another guy other than the two past relationships, I have never gone on casual dates or anything remotely like that.
I have been single for about a year & a half now & I find it so ridiculously difficult to put my self out there, I guess???
Example 1: I was great friends with this guy, we were friends for a bit, I was 100% comfortable being myself around him always & we both developed feelings for each other but didn’t know the feelings were mutual until a shared friend mentioned it to me. Once I knew this information, I shut off. I distanced myself dramatically & put up a wall. Our friendship has never been as close as it was since & to my knowledge, he had no idea the feelings were mutual.
Example 2: When I go out to bars & clubs with my friends, I will make frequent eye contact with a guy I could find attractive. That guy will then try to talk to me while I could be ordering a drink & I’ll pretend not to hear him & walk off. I could unintentionally walk past this guy numerous times throughout the night & he’ll try to get my attention but I just keep on pretending I haven’t noticed even though I am incredibly interested & I’m definitely not trying to play hard to get.
Example 3: This example is what led me to write this post. A guy I used to work with 2 years ago replied to one of my instagram stories, we got to chatting, just simply catching up on life. I thought it was just a totally platonic conversation. Until he started being subtly flirty, but not in a creepy uncomfortable way & asked to take me out for coffee. I said yes, not thinking it would be anytime soon as I know he is a very busy guy. He then said he was free the following day & asked what time he should pick me up. The instant he asked what time he should pick me up, I went into freak out mode. I just wanted to block him and ghost him, which is so so so rude, I know! & there is nothing wrong with this guy at all, whenever we bump into each other around town we can always have an easy conversation but the instant it felt like it was more than platonic, I again have just put a wall.
I can’t even do Tinder or anything similar because I know damn well I’ll never let it go anywhere outside of just messaging on the app, even if I have an interest in the poor guy! A cute boy will come into work & ask for my number & I’ll just blurt out that I have a boyfriend when I in fact do not! The list goes on & on & on….
I’ve seen therapists & they’ve said I have an anxious attachment style when I’m in a relationship but I’ve found that when I’m not in a relationship, it’s as if I have an avoidant attachment style. So I feel like it’s a lose/lose situation I’m in because either way I’m not live, laugh, loving at all when it comes to those things.
So in conclusion, what the hell can I do to somewhat fix this & why the hell am I like this?
TDLR; never grew up around healthy relationships, traumatised & now I runaway the instant anything is no longer platonic.
submitted by ClassicIllustrious20
to relationships [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 13:02 tomimendoza AEGIS - An OnK FanFiction
I know it's not exactly fan art, but it's the most fitting for this kind of thing. Another fanfiction has it as its flair when it was posted here. Anyway, this is my output for the OnK fanfic train. I hope you guys enjoy! The link to the fanfiction.net page will be at the bottom.
*** With the rise of violence against celebrities also comes the rise of elements that protect against them. A rookie agent finds himself assigned to a famous idol with a promise to defend. And what was supposed to be a training assignment would eventually grow to so much more.
The young man grumbled as he trudged the halls of his home towards his father’s office. His hand would rake through his black hair in his face in annoyance while his two emerald eyes with four-point star-shaped irises focused forward. He already knew what was gonna happen and he wished he could refuse. He had been hoping to devote his time to honing his gaming skills with the hope of maybe one day joining a pro-E-sports team. But, because his father was an old man with a small scope of the modern world, he laughed and told him to do something real with his life. And something real meant taking over the family business one day.
Kurosawa Security Services, or simply KSS, is a Japanese family-owned security company based in Kyoto although they have offices all over the country and even abroad. KSS provides everything from security guards for convenience stores to close protection agents for top government figures. They can also provide security consultation and training. The service is rated as the best Japan has to offer with highly trained agents. KSS agents regularly train with the police and military elements like the Security Police and Special Forces Group. And in rare occasions, they would even train with the US Secret Service abroad. KSS is also the best because of the long history of the organization which dates back to the feudal era when Kurosawa Saitō picked up the sword and protected the local Daimyo from an attack. In other words, they had a long time to hone their craft.
Now, what makes a security company like KSS so big in a country where crime is almost non-existent? Isn’t Japan a safe nation? Those would be your first mistakes if you thought of them. It doesn’t matter which part of the world you’re on, good and evil exist everywhere. And good must be protected from evil. That’s why KSS exists.
And soon enough, the company will be in Akio’s hands when it's his father’s time to retire. That’s how the system works, despite what he thinks of it. So, now his ultimate tests will begin. His first assignment.
After walking for what seemed like hours he reached a pair of large doors. He knocked on them and was asked to come in by a voice on the other side, so he complied. Entering, he was greeted with a fairly large office for only one man. And that man was currently seated behind a desk reading through some papers.
“Hey, Dad,” He greeted as he sat down on one of the chairs before across from him.
Kurosawa Tadao put the papers down and then looked at his son before smiling. He was an aging man with black hair that was already greying and blue eyes that had four-point star-shaped irises.
“Hey, Son! How’re ‘ya doing?” He asked.
“Just fine. I was finally getting my KDR up in Black Ops and I was planning on getting my skills up in CSGO later. But, here we are,” Akio answered.
“Staying inside is not good for your body you know.”
“I planned to play basketball tomorrow and I have band with the boys this weekend.”
“It’s still unhealthy because it’s exactly anything productive. You’re 17, Son, you need to start shaping up for your career,” Tadao said.
“I’ve been shaping it up since I was five,” Akio muttered.
“And that’s why we’re here right now. Your first assignment, son! It’s the moment of truth! Aren’t you excited?” Tadao asked with a wide grin as he picked up a folder from the side.
“No, not really,” Akio answered flatly.
“Well, maybe you’ll be excited once you find out who I’m assigning you to. Spoiler alert, she’s an idol,” He said with a grin, whispering that last part as he handed him the file.
“I’m not into idols, Dad,” He said flatly as he took the file.
“Your little brother a good chunk of this company’s personnel, and hell, a good chunk of the population are though,” He commented.
“That doesn’t make sense. Everyone can have different interests. And Goro, well, I guess being tied to a hospital bed for years does that to you,” He said sadly.
“You’re one weird kid, you know.”
“Well, I was raised by the likes of you, Dad,” Akio retorted with a sly grin which made his father laugh.
“Well, you got me there,” He chuckled and promptly silenced himself to let his son read.
“Hoshino Ai? Never heard of her. Although I admit she is pretty cute,” He mumbled as read through the file with her picture on it. He took in her personal information like date of birth, age, physical appearance, and all the usual things. And then he got to a part that listed her status— “What the fuck?! She’s pregnant?!”
“Language, Akio!” Tadao scolded. “Anyway, officially, she’ll be taking a break from showbiz for a while due to ill health. Actually, she’s pregnant and they’re trying to keep it under wraps. Bad for business, because a lot of fans are a bunch of lonely losers, they’ll drop her just because she has kids.”
“Language, Dad,” Akio retorted and shook his head. “Well, teen pregnancy is bad, but it’s unfair for her to be hated for that reason.”
“Yeah, the life of a celebrity is a lot shittier than most people would think. I know, your mother was a singer, she dealt with that too when we were found out,” Tadao said with a frown before smiling a bit. “She
“Please don’t tell me about your romances, Dad,” Akio cringed. “Anyway, Hoshino-sama will be my protectee, huh?”
“Yes. She’ll be heading here with her management agency soon to settle the contract. And then you’ll be heading to the countryside where she can lay low until she gives birth. That’s the basics of it.”
“Alright. Babysit a pregnant teenager and keep her from doing anything dumb. Should be easy enough,” He said.
“Do not underestimate the dangers tied to the entertainment world, Akio,” Tadao reminded. “As I’ve said, a lot of them are a bunch of lonely losers or generally just of questionable
character. Some of them will go to great lengths just for attention. Fans can get really wacky after all. It’s already happened before. Not to mention, all the snakes in the industry. Someone might want to up their game so they think about eliminating the competition. You get the point.”
“I’m very aware, Dad, don’t worry,” He assured then sighed. “Just doing this and my studies at the same time? What am I gonna do?”
“That’s rich coming from someone who was planning on just lazing around all day. Besides, you’ve been homeschooling for more than a year already, right? I’m sure you can get a read in every day without compromising your job.”
“Well, it’s not impossible, but it’s gonna suck,” He said then sighed. “Alright, I’ve got this. Not much of a choice anyway. Anything else I should know?”
“Yeah. Remember this, you do not ever
let your protectee out of your sight. Wherever she goes, you go. That being said, don’t be too overbearing, and make sure to give her room to breathe. She is a woman, she will want her space. Also, try not to set such a tight atmosphere. Try being her friend, and she’ll be easier to work with. Tomita will meet you tomorrow too to evaluate you. You’ll also be reporting to him your progress during your task.”
“Noted, Dad. In that case,” Akio stood then positioned himself directly in front of the table before bowing. “I shall see this task to the end.”
Idol music was not his cup of tea and Hoshino Ai was a complete stranger to him till that moment. He’d spend a whole week with the pre-preparations with one of the senior agents until it was time to meet the latest customers. Then he would meet Hoshino Ai for the first time and they’d make their first impressions of one another.
“Are you really sure about this?”
“We’re going to need a shield just in case. Lot’s of wackos around here. Besides, we’ve already agreed to meet.”
“It’s just, there’s a lot of shady dealings in the security world.”
“Are we any better? Besides, KSS is the best this country can offer. I also know the company head personally too, we went to high school together, and he owes me. We’ll be just fine.”
“I didn’t understand any of that, but okay!”
“Never change, Ai…”
How do you keep a secret from the world? Simple: you lie. You lie a lot. But then you realize it’s not so simple and every day is spent with fear that everything might fall apart. Just trying to get anywhere was a massive undertaking. For example, right now. Two adults and a pregnant teen in a car. Aside from the teen pregnancy, there’s nothing strange at all about it. But if you knew who the car’s passengers were, then you’d immediately understand.
After a couple of hours of driving (making occasional turns to make sure they weren’t followed and consequently getting lost a couple of times) they finally reached their destination which was a large estate in the outskirts of Kyoto. A guard met them at the gate, and after the driver talked and showed some credentials, they were let in. It took another minute or two until they reached the house where a group was waiting for them. The car group got out of their vehicle with the house group greeting them shortly after. A man with short blonde hair and yellowish-brown eyes underneath some shades stepped forward and led the group.
“Ichigo-san, you’re still about as ugly as when I last saw you,” Tadao greeted with a cheeky grin as he approached.
“Tadao-san, you’re clearly the most repulsive one here. I see you still haven’t taken my advice to get your face fixed,” Ichigo greeted with a snarky expression as he also approached.
Once close enough, they locked hands for a shake before pulling each other in for a hug.
“It’s nice to see you again, friend! How’re you doin', man? No troubles getting here?” Tadao asked.
“I’m just fine. Getting here was a lot smoother than we thought. But we are exhausted,” Ichigo replied.
“I imagine. Remember that time in Second Year when we bought booze with fake IDs and we had to run for it?”
“Ha, how can I forget?! I was terrified the cops would get us!”
As the two men shared stories and laughed, everyone else present could not help but be astonished at how casual the two were being. It almost was like this wasn’t a business meeting.
“Yeah, those were the days,” Tadao laughed and turned to the other two people to address them. “Before we continue any further, allow me to introduce myself. I am Kurosawa Tadao, head of Kurosawa Security Services, and I welcome you all to my home. It’s nice to meet you!”
He then stepped toward the next person. She was a rather tall woman with long strawberry-blonde hair and pinkish-brown eyes.
“And you must be Miyako, his wife, yes?” He asked.
“Yes, I am,” She said with a polite smile as they shook hands.
“You know, I’ve always wondered how someone with a face like his could get married. But here we are,” He joked earning a laugh from her.
“I sometimes wonder why I decided to marry him too,” She commented and they both laughed.
“Huh? What?” Ichigo said but was ignored.
Then, Tadao moved to the last person. She was a short girl with long violet hair with matching eyes that have stars in them. But her most distinct feature was the bulge in her abdomen showing her pregnancy. Moreover, she looked like she wasn’t even 18. This observation made his gut wrench due to feeling pity for this poor girl’s bad decision. Regardless, he put on his best smile and took her hand.
“And you must be Hoshino Ai,” He greeted. “I’ve heard all about you, but since I’m the stereotypical old man, I’m not into your music. Regardless of that, and after listening to a couple of songs, I think you’re doing some very great work in your field.”
Her lips curved into a smile that cured souls as her eyes seemed to shimmer. Tadao kept himself from reacting, but at that moment he knew why she was so popular.
“Thank you so much, Tadao-san! You know, I don’t think I’m that popular to begin with but I’m always so happy to hear that someone like what I do!” She said happily.
He chuckled a bit. “I used to be in a band in middle school and high school, so I still try to stay up to date with the latest musical trends these days. Although, I still don’t know much. I mostly get my info on that from my own agents.”
He glanced to the side followed by Ai shortly after to see three younger agents standing stiffly as they tried to ignore them. They knew exactly who she was. All three of them have her as their phone’s lock screen wallpaper. And it’s clear that they wanted to talk to her, but they couldn’t. And even if they could, they didn’t know how. Ai giggled in amusement while Tadao just stared.
“Anyway, now that introductions have been made, let’s go inside where it’s more comfortable. I know you’re here for business, so let’s dive right in. We’ve also prepared snacks and refreshments inside in case you want some. Ichigo, my valet will take care of your car, so give him the keys please,” Tadao said as he gestured for them to follow.
“Do you have ice cream?” Ai asked.
“We sure do!”
“Yay! Let’s go!”
After Ichigo handed over the keys to a valet, Tadao began leading them into his home with the trio following shortly after. But before that, a mischievous thought entered Ai’s mind and she acted quickly. She suddenly turned to look at the trio of agents who tensed up even more under her gaze. Worse, they realized that she was up to no good just from her grin. But before they could even speculate what she was up to, she suddenly did her signature love heart hand pose with a smile. In a flash, the three agents felt their knees go weak in the presence of such moe cuteness that they struggled to stay upright as they covered their mouths to silence their ecstatic screams. Satisfied with her handiwork, Ai giggled as she left the scene of the crime.
“Um, are they gonna be alright?” Ichigo asked nervously as he saw one of them falling over.
“They’ll be fine.”
They entered the huge house and led them through a series of hallways that were decorated with all sorts of interesting stuff. One of them was some sort of cannon on a towed carriage, except, aside from one big barrel, it’s got multiple little ones arranged in a circle with a crank.
“Kurosawa-san, what’s that?” Ai asked.
“Oh, this? This is a Model 1874 Gatling Gun. It fires a .45-70 caliber round from top-loaded 20-round box magazines with a rate of fire of about a thousand rounds per minute, although, it really depends on how fast you can crank it. It was one of the most revolutionary weapons ever designed and it changed the battlefield forever. This specific weapon here was used by the Imperial Army against revolting samurai during their last stand in the Battle of Mount Shiroyama, the last action of the Satsuma Rebellion,” He explained. “Sometimes I wonder what the samurai were thinking in their last moments just before they were all gunned down.”
“Wow,” Ai whispered in awe.
“Indeed. I don’t even know where my father dug up this gun,” He said before tracing across the black-painted barrels of the old weapon.
“That’s so cool!” She exclaimed happily then fished out her phone from her hoodie pocket. “Can I take a picture with it?”
“Ai, we’re here in business and the man’s likely very busy, so let’s not take anymore—” Ichigo said but was cut off.
“Sure thing! Our meeting is the only thing I have on my schedule today, so I’m basically free to do anything!” Tadao interjected with a wide smile as she took her phone.
What followed next was a comedic scene which was basically an old man doting on his granddaughter while he took pictures of her doing cute things. Meanwhile, everyone else present just stared with blank expressions.
“So much for not being into idols,” Ichigo muttered.
“These are so good! Thank you so much, Kurosawa-san!” She thanked him with a wide smile after going over the pictures.
“You’re very welcome! And you know, we’ve got a lot of goodies in this house, maybe you’d like to take some pictures with them too?” He offered.
“I’d love to!” She squealed.
“Mhmm!” Someone cleared their throat.
Looking in that direction, they saw a young man dressed in a nice business suit who was basically a younger version of Tadao. He approached them with his hands in his pockets and regarded them with a straight expression.
“You’re getting off track here, Dad. We’re still conducting a business,” He said as a matter of factly. “And what happened to ‘no touching of the expensive decor’?”
“Oh come on, son, do you honestly believe I can refuse that?” Tadao complained as he gestured to Ai who maintained a happy expression as she looked at the photos.
“Don’t enable her, Dad. Ma’am, please stop touching the gun, it’s very old and very expensive,” He said.
“Ai, get off of it,” Ichigo ordered.
“Aw, okay,” She said sadly as she backed off.
“Sorry for the trouble, but this stuff is crazy expensive. And oh, I’m Kurosawa Akio, by the way. It’s a pleasure to meet all of you,” He greeted with a polite smile.
“This is my son. He’ll be taking care of the business one day, so I’m bringing him along more now,” Tadao said.
Another round of handshakes was exchanged as the group introduced themselves to Akio. Ai expected the tone and body language of a fan holding himself back, the same kind she’s gotten used to seeing, but was rather surprised when he shook her hands normally with nothing but politeness in his eyes. Strange, now she’s curious. Akio on his part thought that she was a rather normal-looking girl, except for the bulging stomach, and didn’t find anything very special from just looking at her.
“Sorry for messing around. It’s just a really cool-looking thing!” Ai said.
“It sure is, ‘can’t argue with that. They don’t make weapons like these anymore these days. It’s all just big bombs now, which is boring,” Akio remarked.
“I don’t think death and destruction are supposed to be nice to see,” Miyako remarked.
“Exactly,” Tadao stated with a firm voice. “And that’s what we strive for in KSS. Every day must always be boring. Now come on, we’ve got business to attend to.” He said before turning and walking away.
“Is he always like this?” Miyako asked with a sweatdrop, noting the man’s sudden change of face.
“You’ll get used to it,” Both Ichigo and Akio replied in a flat tone.
They finished the walk toward their destination which was a conference room inside the house. The place was quite spacious and cozy looking, especially since it has a fireplace. They all immediately took their seats with KSS taking one side of the table and Ichigo Productions sitting opposite of them.
“Snacks will be brought in a little bit, so let’s get down to business to business shall we,” Tadao said as he placed a briefcase on the table and pulled out some papers. “By the way, everything we talk about will not leave this room, you can trust us. I think I also know the reason why you need an extra pair of hands. Your reason for getting a bodyguard is because you’re worried that you’ll be attacked like that idol that got stabbed recently, yes?”
They all nodded at that. It was already a month old, but the memory of it was still fresh on everyone’s minds, especially since it was covered on national news.
An idol named Hirose Keiko, who was pretty popular and only 16 like Ai, was recently murdered by a crazy fan in her own home. The autopsy report stated that the cause of death was cardiac arrest from severe bleeding after being stabbed three times and that she died in minutes.
The police captured the killer before he could jump off a bridge and took him in for questioning. He said that a Twitter post showing Keiko being all friendly with some guy somewhere made people think she had gotten a boyfriend. This enraged him because he felt betrayed by her actions, therefore he stalked her and plotted her murder for weeks. So, it was pretty awkward for him to find out that Keiko’s supposed boyfriend was actually her cousin and she was at a family get-together at that time.
The news shocked everyone in the country and many celebrities started taking their personal security more seriously. Ichigo was worried for Ai, and Ai was a bit scared herself. She knew Keiko, they did some collaborations together in the past, and she was upset she couldn’t attend her funeral. So, Ichigo Productions, though a bit cash-strapped, decided that it would be a good idea to have some form of security with them to help out in the long run. Especially now that Ai was pregnant… they couldn’t stomach the thought of some deranged lunatic stabbing her to death like what happened to Keiko.
“I don’t think I can forget that. I knew the girl and her agency, they were good people. I hope that bastard gets the chair,” Ichigo muttered.
“You and me both. And don’t worry, we’ll make sure nothing ever happens to you,” Tadao assured. “Alright, now, how do you want to be protected?”
“We just need someone with us to keep the creeps away, especially one that can lie low with us. Nothing flashy at all,” Ichigo answered.
“Hmm, I understand what you want. One or two agents on you at all times at least, covering your front and back. They’ll be in plain clothes too so as to not draw attention. Okay, I’ve got a lot of agents to spare for that kind of job,” Tadao said, as he wrote on a piece of paper.
“What else is there?” Ichigo asked.
“We’re gonna brief you on how we operate and how we intend to do this. None of them are hard to follow at all. The gist is that you need to tell us everything, your schedules, contacts, extra activities, etcetera.”
“So, I’ll basically be followed around everywhere?” Ai asked.
“Basically, yes. But the key difference is that it’ll be by people you can trust. However, that doesn’t mean we’ll be poking around your daily life and infringing on your space every day. We’ll create a system in which you’re safe but still comfortable. In fact, we even have methods to protect you without you or anyone seeing us, but that’s really expensive though,” Tadao explained. “We know our boundaries too, Hoshino-sama, you don’t have to worry.”
“Hmm,” Ai hummed as she considered his words before another thought occurred to her. “Will you kill people?”
“Only if they really
force us to. Every agent has a loaded gun with him, but we’re also trained in ways to stop an attacker with non-lethal force. Besides, one of our tactics is that by simply being there, we can discourage anyone from trying anything funny. As I’ve said, the best days for us are the most boring ones.”
“What’s the price tag?” Miyako asked.
“Despite the low elements, you’re still looking at 500,000 yen per month. But…” He trailed off. “But… due to my debt to you, Ichigo, I’ve decided to give you half that price for six months. This is paid like a subscription service where you have to pay every month. Failure to pay means immediate termination of services.”
“Is there anything else?” Ichigo asked.
“There are a bunch more details that you need to know. Legality, protocols, company policy, and all that. But, there’s one detail that I threw in as a condition for this,” Tadao said then placed a hand on Akio’s shoulder who was sitting to his right. “My son will be the one to run point of your protection detail. This’ll also act as his first test, to prove his skill as a protection agent.”
“Although I’m inexperienced, I’m quick to learn and adapt, and I’m ready to take on whatever task is needed from me,” Akio said politely.
Ichigo and Miyako frowned at the prospect of being given someone who was inexperienced in the field. But if he was the son of the guy who runs the place, then he should be pretty good, right? Besides, this is possibly the best deal they’ll ever get, and they weren’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“Alright, that’s fine,” Ichigo said.
“I’m okay with it,” Ai said.
“Although, Akio will be running point so you’ll see him the most often, another rookie agent will also be there to learn too. He’ll be number two. A senior agent will also be dropping by occasionally to check on them and evaluate their performance, although you don’t need to pay him. And in case things get really bad, emergency services and other agents won’t be too far to assist,” Tadao added.
“Ah, alright,” Ichigo said.
“Now, for the rest of everything.”
They would spend the next thirty minutes getting into the details of how everything would be under their care. Snacks and refreshments were brought in at that time with Ai receiving a pint of ice cream, making her very happy. They got into some legal conditions that were implemented to protect both sides. They also got into how the protection detail would work and what to do under certain situations. And of course, company policy.
One such policy is that the client can sue the company for up to 30 million yen for disclosing any secrets entrusted to them without permission. And although KSS can definitely pay that amount, their reputation would be tarnished and they’d lose even more money. That was a fact that allowed Ichigo Productions to rest easier. Ai’s pregnancy needed to remain under wraps.
After a few more minutes and a couple more things were clarified, they finally moved on to the last piece of the puzzle. Tadao opened up his briefcase and pulled out one last set of papers.
“This is the contract. What’s is just a summary of everything we talked about, but I suggest you read it carefully so you’re not missing anything,” Tadao said.
Ichigo Productions took the document and carefully read through it to make sure they were not missing anything. It took another five minutes, but they confirmed that everything was in place.
“A service that tells you everything and makes you read the contract first? Finally!” Ichigo joked.
“We’re the guys that protect the Emperor, not some shady organization! We’ve got a reputation to uphold!” Tadao stated. “Anyway, if nothing is amiss, sign your name and seal on the space provided and we are officially under your employ.”
“Everything’s here. Let’s seal the deal,” Ichigo said.
He grabbed a pen that was provided to him and signed his name on the line at the bottom then stamped his seal on the side. Miyako did the same thing after him. And finally, Ai filled out the last line with her name and seal and even drew a little heart on it. Tadao took the document and looked through it before putting it down and giving them a smile.
“You are now under the protection of Kurosawa Security Services! With Hachiman, the divine protector of Japan, guiding our hands, you will not have to worry about anything as long as we are around! Rest assured that we will take care of you. And anyone that tries to harm you will die a horrible death!” He proclaimed.
“That’s… oddly specific,” Ichigo remarked.
“If you get hurt, we’ll cover the expenses of your medical bill. If you die under our watch, which you won’t, we’ll offer a full refund to your relatives, and we’ll even avenge you. That’s our policy, to treat our clientele as if they are our family,” He added.
“That’s very nice,” Miyako said.
“Only the best we provide our clients,” Tadao said. “And aside from giving you a copy of the documents, this concludes our business. Thank you for choosing our services. We promised not to disappoint.”
“We’ll be watching closely then.”
Both groups then stood up and gave each other one last bout of handshakes to truly seal the contract that was just signed.
“I’ll make sure your men get tickets to one of my concerts in the future!” Ai said and looked at Akio. “Especially you, Akio-san.”
“Oh, that’s very kind of you, Hoshino-sama. But, I’m not into idol music,” He replied politely.
“Please excuse my son. We know he’s a weirdo,” Tadao jokingly said.
“I ain’t weird, Dad. I don’t hate idol music but I don’t exactly like it either. I just like other things,” Akio stated.
“It’s not impossible, but it’s a first for us. Everyone your age we’ve met is into idols,” Saitou said. “Looks like you’re the 10% we didn’t see coming.”
“Please just take it as less worry for you, since I won’t be prying for your attention all the time. I’ll always keep a respectful distance. I promise.”
“That’s all we can ever ask really. Thank you.”
“Now that business is concluded, we can all turn in for the night. But would you like something before you leave? Some more snacks or drinks perhaps? We’ve got a lot here,” Tadao offered but Ichigo shook his head.
“No, we’ve already been here too long, we don’t want to overstay our welcome. Besides, it’s late and we’re all tired. We should be getting back now,” he said.
“Alright. In that case, allow us to walk you out while I get the valet to get your car.”
Ichigo Productions prepared to leave while Tadao got on his phone. Ichigo and Miyako started discussing something with each other while Ai simply looked around the room. Her eyes would eventually land on Akio who was looking at his phone. He’d pocket it a moment later and his eyes would land on his protectee’s. She’d flashed him a wide smile, the kind that can captivate any man, while he returned with a simple smile and a nod. Ai began opening her mouth to speak before stopping short when there was a disturbance from Tadao.
“... Really? Alright, I’ll tell them,” He sighed before turning to the group.
“What’s wrong?” Ichigo asked.
Tadao smiled awkwardly. “A small problem just developed on your end.”
They’d find themselves outside again a moment later, watching a scene unfold before them. Ichigo Production’s car, a white rental Toyota Corolla, remained where Ichigo last left it although the hood was open and multiple guys were peering into the engine compartment with flashlights. One agent tried turning the key and starting the ignition, yet the engine remained quiet. A moment later, a middle-aged man with his sleeves rolled up walked up to Tadao while wiping his hands on a rag.
“I think it’s a broken sparkplug, Tadao-san. It just won’t start,” He reported.
“I told you it was broken!” Miyako scolded Ichigo in a hushed voice.
“Do we have spare parts, Hiro-san?” Tadao asked.
“No, we just ran out when our own rides needed maintenance and we haven’t resupplied yet,” He said with a shake of his head. “We can’t run to the shop too because it’s already closed at this time. This thing’s staying here till morning.”
Ichigo and Miyako groaned at their misfortune while the rest of them simply stared indifferently. Tadao then sighed and spoke again.
“Alright. In that case, Hiro-san, please get the van off the driveway and onto the side. We’ll deal with it tomorrow morning. Then please take one of the Land Cruisers and take them back to their hotel. The rest of you are free to leave for home too,” He ordered.
“Hai, Kurosawa-sama!” Everyone replied.
“Tadao-san, are you sure? This is probably too much—” Ichigo began but stopped when Tadoa raised a hand.
“It’s fine, I don’t mind at all. Just think of this as me helping a friend in need. And no, you don’t have to pay,” He replied.
Ichigo was unsure but ultimately allowed it and bowed a bit. “Alright, thank you.”
“No problem,” Tadao replied with a shallow nod.
While the adults addressed the issue of their ride, the two kids remained on the side and simply watched. Akio and Ai were still in their teens, so they were kids in the eyes of the adults present.
“So,” Ai began. “What kind of music do you listen to, Kurokawa-san?”
“Uh, I like rock music of all types from pop to death metal. I’ve been listening to them since I was five. And it’s Kurosawa, Hoshino-sama,” He replied, her sudden question and error of his name catching him off guard.
“Ah, really? Ahahaha, I’m so sorry! I'm not very good at memorizing people’s faces!” She laughed jovially.
“Ahaha, I can imagine. Since you probably see so many faces every day, it’s hard to keep track of them all, huh?” He laughed.
“Ah, yeah! It’s a bit of a problem for me, hehe. Sometimes, I even forget the President’s name too, haha!”
He laughed along with her but internally, he was cringing a bit. Does every idol have such an airheaded personality?
“It must be kinda hard for you too, having to work like this when you’re so young,” She remarked.
“Well, this is my first job ever, so it doesn’t seem hard at all right now. That’s definitely gonna change though,” He replied. “But, I don’t think my job will get anywhere as difficult as yours with you having to put up an act all the time. I don’t think I can handle that.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. I really like my job, but sometimes it gets pretty tiring. Taking a break like this is gonna help out a lot!” She said happily before taking a deep breath and looking around. “I think I’ve already said this, but your place is really nice.”
“Mhmm, and this is just our place here in Tokyo. We’re only here now because we need to be closer to some of our clients at the moment. Our main house in Kyoto is even bigger and cooler!” Akio replied.
“You guys are really loaded, huh?”
“For the past few decades, Kurosawa has been branching to other things that make money. We need the cash to pay for our stuff after all. Although, we’re still inferior to zaibatsus like Shinomiya and Shijo (who we provide services to, by the way) but also still better than most.”
“Mhmm, but money still isn’t everything. We try to take a humble approach to things too. Dad doesn’t like spending money on anything that isn’t important and I don’t buy a lot of things myself,” He added and kept his mouth open to continue when he was interrupted.
“Don’t believe him! He eats yakiniku at least once a week!” One of the younger agents stated as he walked by with a bag over his shoulder, likely on his way home.
“Look who’s talking, idiot! You spend the most out of all of us!” He retorted angrily but only got a laugh in response. He turned back to Ai who was holding a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles, prompting him to sigh in annoyance. “Alright, I admit that part and also I spend a lot quite a lot on video games and band equipment, but only on special occasions. I’m not some pompous rich jerk that throws money around, I promise you.”
“Hmm, alright, I believe you,” She giggled and then thought of something. “You could’ve totally left that part out or outright lied. Why didn’t you?”
“Uh, it was already out, so there’s no point in trying to lie about it anymore. Besides, I don’t believe you deserve to be lied to, Hoshino-sama,” He answered.
Her smile wavered ever so slightly as she processed his answer. I don’t deserve to be… lied to?
“Ai, our ride’s here! Let’s head back to the hotel!” Ichigo called out as one of the company’s Land Cruisers had been brought out to take them.
“I guess we’ll just have to continue this conversation some other time, but it’s been a nice talk. I look forward to working with you, Hoshino-sama,” He said with a wide smile and an outstretched hand.
Ai smiled widely too, her eyes seemingly shimmering brighter as she took his hand and shook it. “Since we’ll be sticking so closely together for a while, you can just call me Ai, Akio-san.”
He blinked. “U-Uh, sure thing, Ai-san.”
“Just Ai,” She clarified.
“Just Ai,” He nodded and smiled widely, happy that she remembered his first know, even if he didn’t know why.
“If that’s what you want, you’re the boss,” Akio remarked, earning another laugh from her. “You have a good night, Ai, and I’ll see you again tomorrow.”
“You too, Akio-san.”
She’d head back to her group a moment later and they were leaving the estate shortly. Akio waved at the car as it drove past him and he could just barely see a human figure waving back through the darkness. As he watched the SUV disappear, he put his hand down and looked up at the sky.
“Wow,” He breathed. “Her eyes are something else.”
He’d retire for the night shortly after without another thought. He’d sleep soundly not knowing that he had just stepped on the path that would define his life.
This is the link
to the ff.net page. Thank you very much for taking the time to read it, and thank you even more if you decide to support it on ff.net! Please also tell me what you think and/or if you have any ideas you'd like to share here or there!
For now, have a great day, and peace out! Veritas vos liberabit. The Truth will set you Free.
submitted by tomimendoza
to OshiNoKo [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 13:00 Guan_guan_ghoo 1 vs 1 Deathmach: Bloodletter (Warhammer 40.000) vs Hell Knight (DOOM).
The rules are: - Both have they Lore and Gameplay powers. - There are three scenarios of where they fight: -.F1: Real Space (Most probably a imperial world). -.F2: The Warp. -.F3: DOOM'S Hell. - Its a 1vs1, so no: khorne cultist joining the Bloodletter, no zombigied humans helping the Hell Knight, and definily not the inquisition saying it's exterminatus time and starts wiping half off the galaxy of life.
submitted by Guan_guan_ghoo
to whowouldwin [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:56 Djdohnut This is my score on Preston’s new gambling game,what’s yours?
2023.05.30 12:53 amidetrans Having a panic attack for the last 12 hours need help someone help me sort my thoughts I'm at my limit
I knew I was trans since I was 11. I wasn't super masculine but also not really effeminate. Dysphoria would come in cycles and eventually became so bad that I either took hrt or I ended my life. No time to wait months for doctors to talk to me, so I DIY. Eventually talked to doctors and got diagnosed with gd but I'm afraid they diagnosed me because I was already taking hormones. I don't blame them, they've been everything to me.
Dysphoria for me was an intense desire of being feminine, of being a woman, of seeing a woman in the mirror.
I'm 1.5 years on hormones and had FFS 6 months ago, at 1 year. I pass now, if I use bangs. If I don't use bangs I don't really pass and it bothers me.
Ever since FFS I've been going to doctors for all kinds of post FFS care: Adams apple not shaved enough so planning for revisions, got a fatty cyst just below my eyebrow that's getting removed soon, physiotherapy appointments, stitch removal, everything.
Even 2 days ago I was bawling my eyes out because my body was too masculine and I was jealous at someone that started at 14. At the clinic they told me it could be possible that my Adams apple can't get any smaller and I cried. I really want to have a feminine hairline, I am planning hair transplants too. So how is it possible to go thinking like that, intensely desiring to not look like a man, to suddenly feeling like this? Read below: 👇
Yesterday I was coming home by bus, it's a 4 hour trip, and I was thinking about how tired of all of these trips I am, about how my life was so simple before. The bus had an infotainment system but I turned off the screen so I could see my reflection the whole time. I didn't really like what I saw, but I think I still was kinda passable. And then this thought crossed my mind
"Maybe if I got my hair short I could be a handsome man instead, it would make my life so simple"
And I don't know why but since I had that thought I've been suffering from extreme anxiety, this was last night and I've puked twice and been sitting on the toilet every 30 minutes. It felt exactly like I felt during my days pre hrt when dysphoria hit pretty bad.
I took diazepam before bed and 5mg more this morning plus 20mg of propranolol and it has barely done anything to calm down my heartbeat.
I am scared I am not trans anymore and I ruined everything. Scared that maybe I had FFS before I felt like this. Scared to tell my mother I am not trans anymore, it's been hard for her to accept and she'll be like I told you so and plus she hates having physical contact with me and I really need someone to hold my hand right now, if I tell her this she will let me be around her even less than before.
I didn't take anti androgens this morning. Am dreading next E injection. I washed my teeth and looked in the mirror and I didn't mind what I saw but thinking about doing my morning routine made me want to throw up.
I just don't know anymore. Maybe I'm not trans and I should desist? Should I continue? Rationally, I don't mind living my life as a woman, and I remember dreading living my life as a man. So logically speaking, I should continue HRT. But now my resting heart rate is 130 and I've been reading all the posts here and I don't know.
I don't know! Am I feeling dysphoria because I think I don't look like a girl enough? Am I feeling reverse dysphoria because I am a cis man after all? Am I depressed? Am I tired of how much FFS recovery is taking out of me? Should I continue HRT? Should I stop?
Has anyone here ever felt like this? I am currently in bed and called in sick. I get up from bed to do something, but leave my room to stare around and come back to bed. But I'm too jumpy to stay in bed. I'm such a mess.
I think I feel worse now than I've ever felt before I started HRT, and it's so painful so so so painful I've started thinking of ending my life just to stop the suffering and if in the past I stopped myself because I knew it was irrational and would make some people sad, now I don't care about that I just want the suffering to stop. I'm panicking, and the meds didn't work.
I don't even know who to talk about this, next therapy appointment is in July because the doctor is on vacation, can't even ask her for emergency appointment. My friend would listen to me but she wouldn't understand and I've been too much of a burden on her lately that she has started being hesitant to allow me to visit her home, so I want to give her space and only be positive around her for a bit.
I'm in so much distress right now and I don't know what to do I really need this to stop or I will do something bad I can't hold on
Please someone say something that will make me feel better. I really hope someone has felt like this before and tell me it's normal and that they were trans after all. Because if I'm not trans and I go back to being even an effeminate man I will NEVER be happy but I'm starting to think that if I continue like this I will never be happy as a woman either.
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2023.05.30 12:51 onceagainsilent Every #$%&ing morning
I'm going through a divorce and I'm having to stay with my mom. She remarried a few years ago and I've not spent much time around the new guy until now.
I have work, early, and my routine is to get up, drink two cups of coffee and clock in. I have long shifts so this is just how I center myself before the day begins.
This guy is something else. He's basically like if Frankenstein's monster had made it to a successful life. He acts like a caricature of a human being, or an alien in a human suit possibly. Actually that's very possible. Absolutely no manners whatsoever. He is totally oblivious to the concept of norms and customs. Never seen anything like it.
Each day begins with him getting up and, if I've made coffee already, drinking it all in under 10 minutes, making more but at half strength, and then sitting and clearing his throat/snorting snot up his nose while he reads facebook for three solid hours. If I attempt to make enough so that he can have some but so can I, it does not work because he drinks it ridiculously fast. If I wait for him to finish the coffee and make my own afterward, he comes in and scarfs it up too. There is literally not a way to make coffee in the house, drink one cup, and then come back and get another one from the same pot. It is as though one of his prime directives is to empty the coffee pot and if there's coffee in it, he just cannot rest until it has all been consumed.
It's insane and it is driving me bonkers. I'm not over here trying to drink half strength coffee. My brother and I have a name for this - it is called 'dirt juice' and it really does sum up how we feel about half strength coffee. And then on top of it, with me sitting here supposed to clock in in 15 minutes with half of my coffee inside this man's body, he has to sit here going "UNNNNGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHHHH" every thirty seconds while I stew about it.
I need the whole coffee. I am an addict.
I know this is a stupid problem but, out of all of the things that I've been dealing with lately, and there are a lot of them, this is the one that I can't make any progress with. There's no fixing it.
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to whatsbotheringyou [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:48 iir21 School is a SCAM
I hate studying. Every time I need to study for a History or a Geography exam, I feel like killing myself. It’s the most boring thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’ll literally forget everything about these two subjects in less than one month after studying them, but I have to pass these two classes in order to finish high school and be able to get into university. The teachers are terrible at explaining, and it doesn’t feel like they’re on the students’ side at all. It takes me like half an hour to read and completely understand two pages of a textbook (I’m a very slow reader), so I don’t know how they expect me to then summarize that, memorize it and do the same thing for all the other content heavy subjects every day. It just feels like a waste of time. Also, as someone who likes to read and wants to be an editor after graduating university (if I even reach that point), I can tell you that some of the textbooks are written in the least student-friendly way possible (especially if they were written by your own teacher…Speaking from experience here), so it’s no wonder it’s hard. Like, d00d, I’m actually the student with the highest grades in English, Latin and Greek from my year (there are only three people in the Greek class, though), but I’m gonna have to repeat the year just because I’m terrible at History and Geography. It would be the second time I’m repeating a year, too (last time was year 3 of middle school), so you can guess I’m looking forward to being a 20-year-old high-schooler who has no friends of his age in class. My last chance to pass those two subjects is less than two weeks away from now, but I have very little hopes of not failing the year. I hate my life. ♡
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2023.05.30 12:42 Sad-Blueberry-1382 I think I want to kill myself.
I don't know why but I really want to die. I really want to just not exist anymore. Life is too hard. But if I fail, life will be so much harder for me because everything I worked hard for will be ruined. I have tried but I can never finish what I started. Everytime I try to talk to someone about it it's like I don't want to anyone. Even texting this out is hard because I feel like there is no point. I just want to sleep and not wake up. I just don't want to exist anymore. Why is this so hard for me? To the people I have talked to about it, they have all said they have a purpose in life. But what is mine? I don't see myself in 10 years, I can't even think of myself past today. I don't know what my purpose in life is either. I just want to die. But I can't die. Everything just sucks. Everyone says it will get better, but it hasn't been better.
I don't know what to do, but if I try and get help everything in my life will be ruined. If anyone finds out, I will lose my home, my relationship, and everything I have worked hard for. I just can't do this anymore, but I don't know why I care so much. I just want to die. And I hate that I can never finish it. Half of me wants to die and the other half wants to live. Everything sucks.
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2023.05.30 12:41 shortyafter You are not screwed up, society is screwed up.
A couple of caveats. Firstly, one has to make peace with the ugliness of society - to hold a perpetual grudge is not going to help you. Secondly, just because the blame lies with society does not mean that the responsibility does not lie with you. You will still have to change.
That said, I think many are prone to thinking that they are somehow broken, misfits, losers, fuck-ups, etc. The common denominator in all of these labels is the idea that there is something wrong with me, on a fundamental level - as if there is something I have done wrong or simply been cursed with an unlucky existence. The truth, however, is that you are not screwed up. It is the society that is screwed up. If you did not fit in, it was not your fault - it was the society's.
The society is very broken. People are very fearful, and the whole thing runs on fear. For that reason, we cut love at its very roots. We don't teach acceptance, love, vulnerability, or courage. Instead, we teach judgment, self-condemnation, fear, and cowardice. Almost everyone is stuck in the same trap. However, on the surface, there seem to be some people thriving - some, or even many. It is not socially acceptable to say "hey, I'm struggling". Those who admit to it only admit to it half-heartedly, and those who actually kill themselves or struggle with addiction or other issues are seen as undesirables. For "normal people" it is not OK to admit how deeply you suffer. You will be an outcast.
Yet everyone is in the same boat. This can cause one to think that the problem is indeed with him or herself. Everyone else seems to have it figured out, right? Wrong. People are simply shielded and afraid to admit how they lost they are. Conversation is very superficial. There is no authenticity - it's not permitted.
If you have been thinking that you are the problem, you are not. You have been a victim of this awful, fearful conditioning.
As I said before, it's your responsibility to take a leap out of it. It's your life. But it is helpful to open your eyes to the truth and stop blaming yourself for the situation.
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2023.05.30 12:40 OwlCouncil23 Carrington (Book 1) - Chapter 5
Previous Chapter Table of Contents
The night had felt unusually long and restful for some reason. My dreams took me back to a vacation trip my family had taken to visit my grandmother in Mexico before she passed away and well before I lost my husband. The memories were bittersweet, filling my heart with both warmth and sorrow.
As I woke up, I could feel a tear on my cheek and the sun’s rays warming my face through the living room window. Startled by the sudden realization that I might have overslept, I bolted upright, fearing that I had missed the alarm and Derrick bringing home Mr. and Mrs. Allen.
Frantically, I glanced at the clock above the fireplace. To my surprise, it was stuck just past 2 o’clock. Confused, I checked my phone, but the battery was completely dead. In a last attempt to figure out the time, I turned to look at the grandfather clock standing tall by the wall. It was ticking away steadily, indicating that it was 8:30 in the morning.
With a surge of energy, I jumped up and ran to the garage, my legs still feeling the effects of sleep. Flinging the door open, I saw that the town car was still missing. Only the other vehicles were parked in the oversize garage. Puzzled, I thought Derrick must have parked it in the driveway. So, I jogged to the front door and opened it, only to find nothing there. The driveway was empty.
I took a few steps out and looked around. The only car there was mine, tucked out of the way. I stopped and listened. But couldn’t hear any vehicles driving in the distance.
Breathing in the morning air, I was surprised. The air outside was a bit smoky, and I couldn’t quite figure out what was wrong. Everything seemed just a bit off, too, still. I could only hear birds singing and a few dogs barking in the distance. Everything else felt like it was frozen.
Walking back into the house, I closed the front door and glanced at the small table near the door, where a landline phone rested. Picking it up, I tried to remember Derrick’s number, but there was no dial tone. Frustrated, I placed the receiver back down, turned around, and leaned against the door, trying to understand what was happening.
Determined to find a solution, I returned to the couch and picked up my phone. No matter how many buttons I pressed, it still refused to turn on. I rummaged through my bag and found my charger. I went to the nearest wall plug and plugged in my phone, hoping it would spring back to life. After waiting a few seconds, I was disappointed that nothing had changed. It was still dead and unresponsive.
Frustrated, I tried another wall plug, but this one didn’t work either. I stared at a blank phone with a cable attached to a dead charger.
Suddenly, I heard a cute little yawn from behind me. I turned around to see Emma standing there, rubbing her eyes with her tiny hands. I couldn’t help but smile at her sleepy little face. After finishing her yawn, she stomped up to me and wrapped her arms around me in a hug.
“Good morning, Emma,” I said softly, my eyes crinkling in a smile.
“Good morning,” she mumbled, her eyes still half-closed. Suddenly, she looked up at me, her curiosity piqued, and asked, “Why are the lights out?”
I furrowed my brow, slightly taken aback by her question. I didn’t even think of trying the light switches with how much light was pouring through the windows. “What do you mean, sweetie?”
She explained, pointing down the hall, “The lights in the bathroom didn’t turn on when I went to pee. And the water didn’t work well either.”
I quickly racked my brain for an explanation, not wanting to alarm her. With a smile still on my face, I shrugged and said, “It’s probably just a power outage, honey.”
Emma nodded childishly, understandingly, her eyes drifting to the window. “Oh, probably,” she agreed, seemingly satisfied with the answer. She pointed to the window and asked, “Can we play in the park while Mom and Dad are asleep?”
Thinking quickly, I responded, “I’m not sure if Mom and Dad are back yet, sweetie.”
Emma’s eyes widened with concern as she looked up at me. “Where are they?”
I tried to reassure her with a smile, quickly explaining, “Derrick will bring them home soon. They must have stopped by somewhere on the way home.”
Before Emma could respond, we both jumped as we heard Michel’s scream from the other side of the house, “Why doesn’t the toilet flush?!”
I exchanged a glance with Emma, and we burst out laughing, unable to contain ourselves.
Michel ran down the hall, his face flushed with embarrassment. He only sped up when he saw me hugging Emma. I managed to turn just in time to shield Emma from his attempted tackle and hug, catching him with one arm instead.
With both of them by my side, I looked down and said comfortingly, “Don’t worry, you two. Everything will be fine.”
The kids didn’t seem entirely convinced by my reassurance, so I tried a different tactic to distract them. I enthusiastically smiled and asked, “How about some food? Are you two hungry?”
Their faces lit up, and they screamed in unison, “Yes!”
I led them to the kitchen, pretending to use them as anchor points where I could only walk when they stood with my hands stretched between them. We noticed a large puddle on the floor as we entered the kitchen. The kids giggled at the sight of the puddle and my startled reaction.
“Alright, you two,” I said, trying to maintain control of the situation, “sit at the table and wait while I figure this out.”
I exaggeratedly danced around the puddle, eliciting more giggles from Emma and Michel. As I reached the fridge, I noticed the water coming from there. I pointed it out to the kids, a look of mock horror on my face.
“Looks like our fridge decided to take a leak!” I exclaimed, trying to keep the mood light.
The kids laughed, their earlier concerns momentarily forgotten, and I couldn’t help but join them in their amusement. With the power out, I quickly opened the door, grabbed cheese and meat from the fridge, and closed the door with a huff.
The kids seemed to enjoy my theatrics, so I continued stalking over to the pantry.
Continuing my theatrical performance, I dove into the pantry and triumphantly pulled out a bag of bagels. The kids’ eyes widened with excitement at the sight of them. Looking at the bag, I realized it was the sweet blueberry one. Shrugging, I said, “First time for everything.”
Striding over to the toaster, I tried to toast the bagels but remembered that the power was out. Not to be deterred, I grabbed a skillet and used the gas stove to toast the bagels for the kids and myself. The scent of toasting bagels filled the kitchen, adding to the cozy atmosphere.
Meanwhile, the kids started babbling to each other about something, their earlier worries seemingly forgotten. Relaxing, I said a quick prayer for my family, Derrick, and Mr. and Mrs. Allen. I focused on finishing breakfast, placing the toasted bagels on plates, and adding cheese and deli meat slices.
With a flourish, I grabbed the kids’ attention and delivered the plates to the table, and the kids clapped and cheered, excited for their breakfast. Their enthusiasm was contagious, and I couldn’t help but smile as I sat down to join them in the impromptu feast.
Out of nowhere, Michel’s face suddenly took on a worried expression. “When will Mom and Dad be home?” he asked, his tiny voice tinged with concern.
I didn’t want to let them spiral into worry, so I quickly thought of a way to distract them. “I’m not sure, sweetie, but you know what? Cooking these bagels on the skillet reminds me of when I would visit my grandmother. She lived in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere in Mexico. They didn’t have much electricity, and gas was more expensive than wood, so they would cook on an outdoor wood stove most of the time. Do you know those old cowboy cartoons you like? It was kind of like that!”
The eyes of the kids shifted from worry to wonder as they listened to my story, their imaginations taking over. My deflection and distraction seemed to be working again. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief but couldn’t help feeling a pang of concern for my family and the Allens. I hoped they would be home soon, safe and sound.
In my heart, I also longed to be with my own children, praying that everything would turn out alright. Previous Chapter Table of Contents
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2023.05.30 12:33 jinu- help
So, I met this girl Kylea. About 2 years ago. She was dating my co-worker's son. This was back when I used to work at a liquor store. She started working there too and because we were pretty much the only people our age, and because we worked with each other so much, I kind of developed a crush on her. I was 2 months out of a year long relationship. We used to flirt(jokingly) all the time. I never thought too much about it. Then my co-workers(not her boyfriend's mom) started pointing it out that she might have a crush on me too. Apparently, she made it pretty obvious but I'm just dense like that. She started telling me things about her relationship and how her boyfriend was kind of abusive. One Sunday night when it was just us two in the store and it was pretty quiet, she came on to me pretty strong. I was 23 at the time and pretty lonely, going through some of the worst years of life. I had just lost my mom to cancer the year before and had just broken up with my girlfriend because I didn't feel my heart was into the relationship anymore. I wasn't finding joy in anything, other than going to work and getting to spend time with Kylea. She was so much like me, we pretty much became best friends. That Sunday night, we figured we would eventually end up fucking. I knew she was in a relationship, and I wasn't looking for one, so I assumed we were on the same page. Next week, I picked her up, brought her home and we did it. Not to brag or anything, but it was the best sex of her life, and mine. She came about 6 times and took me an hour and half to finish. We were exhausted, and she was so sore she couldn't walk. The ride back to drop her off was weird. She was looking at me differently. She came over again the next day. This time as well, all that passion and sexual tension of months led to great sex. She said she loved me in the middle of it, while looking into my eyes. I said it back. After that night she never left my place. Her boyfriend eventually found out after a week or so(I had asked her to tell him, and end things with him like an adult plenty of times). Around the same time my roommates were fed up with me too because of Kylea staying over all the time. She moved back with her parents, and after getting kicked out of my place, I couch surfed at a friend's for a month and a half, and eventually(after about 5 months) found a place for me and Kylea. She moved in after a month and half. We had both quit our jobs and moved to a new city, looking to start a new life. We were talking about marriage all the time, and having sex, laughing, dancing. I was in love. And I believe so was she. She couldn't find a job and I was on a work permit in a foreign country, which was ending in 4 months. I took care of her and covered her for the next 5 months. We decided we would just get married so I could get residency and keep on working. We wanted to have kids and our own place. I was 24 and we had been dating for over a year, I was sure that this was the woman I was going to marry. I met her family, and she was the first girl I ever introduced to my family. I was her first boyfriend that her family liked. Everything was perfect. Then, this January, she got fired from her job for nothing that was her fault. I'll admit that she did not deserve that. I truly believe that. But before moving forward, let me give you all some context. She was still texting her exes while she was with me, and when I found out and confronted her, she got mad. She started punching me and shoving me, and I managed to keep myself in check. I picked up my basketball and left to go play ball so I could not think about it. It didn't work. Then she came looking for me, crying and apologizing, and I melted. I could not not forgive her. I loved her. She said she wouldn't do it again and I forgot about it. Coming back to January 2023(the whole texting thing happened in August 2022), she got fired and next month happened to be her turn to pay rent. I bought her hair dye, a hair straightener and a new hair dryer because she had always wanted one, and I wanted to see her in better spirits. She dyed her hair the next day. She straightened her hair the day after that. Day after that she met me outside the house, and she was looking gorgeous. She had makeup on, and red straight hair. I was blown away, truly happy and ecstatic. Delighted even, because she seemed to be in a better mood. She said she was going to go to her mom's place for the night. I said okay and kissed her, and told her I loved her. She said she loved me too. She gave me a tight squeeze, and said goodbye. For some reason, that night, her leaving made me really sad. Almost to the point of tears, as if I knew that was the last time I would get to see her. She picked that up too and told me not to cry over her, as she shut the door behind her. Next three days I kept texting her and waiting for her reply. She would send me a single text every night, saying she was going to stay one more night. I trusted her. The fourth day, Friday, I got off work and was looking forward to coming home to her. She wasn't home still. I texted her but didn't get a reply. And then I made a mistake, I texted her mom. I asked her mom if she could get Kylea to reply to my texts, and her mom told me that she wasn't there, nor had she been for a while. I broke, then and there. I texted her the screenshot of her mom's text and told her not to come home. I asked her if she was cheating on me, she said no and that she was with a friend(refused to say who, said "does it even matter") and just needed some space to think things through. We were supposed to get married the next month. After that, she blocked me and wouldn't reply to her mom, or me. After a month of a constant stream of texts, and just general degeneracy, I stopped texting her. Then my manager from the liquor store texts me and tells me that she saw Kylea, with her ex. The one she told me used to hit her. The one she told me was an alcoholic, to the point where he had trouble getting an erection. The dude was a couple of years younger than me. I turned 25 last month, and its been 4 months since she left. I have no answers. I don't know what I did wrong. Maybe it's karma, maybe its just bad luck. I know I'm not the only person this has happened to, but it still hurts so much. I keep thinking about her from time to time. I keep getting Google photos memories of her and me. I can't bring myself to look at the pictures, nor delete them. I even downloaded Tinder again, on the advice of some friends. I've talked to some girls and tried to put myself out there. To find a distraction, to find someone better, or to find someone I deserve, however good or bad I am. Her cheating on me was not my fault, but I can't help but blame myself, for being so naive, and stupid.
Kylea, you'll probably never see this, and honestly I hope you don't. I don't want to give you the satisfaction of thinking that you found something else(while you were with me), and I'm still struggling to come to terms with the fact that its over.
I remember you crying and telling me how much you loved me, and how I didn't realize how much I meant to you, outside that Indian restaurant on 90th Ave and Scott Rd.
I remember you preferred my chicken and alfredo pasta over everything else I'd cook for you.
I remember you telling me, a month before you left me, on Christmas Eve, how happy you were that your mom and dad liked me. That your sisters liked me. And how much that meant to you.
I remember you telling me how you would stick with me through everything, and that you would never cheat on me.
I remember telling you things about my mom I have never told anyone.
I remember your favorite drinks, and favorite spots to chill.
I remember how much you loved Dom(my best friend's kid), and how I had no answer for him when he asked me where you were.
I remember all the things I gave you and all the things you gave me because I had to go through all our stuff and seperate it, so your parents could come pick it up.
I remember everything, and nothing.
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2023.05.30 12:31 Mysterious-Estate585 Just a Cold Sore or Should I be Concerned?
Hello everyone, hope you are all good and healthy!
Here are some of my attributes: - Male - 20 years old - occasional smoker - physically active - 68kg and 183cm
Recently I have started to develop sores on my bottom lip, this is the first time that this has happened in my life. It all started around 2 weeks ago, I practice mixed martial arts and took a bad beating, which resulted in a minor tear on my bottom lip. Over the next couple days, the wound was healing but suddenly decided to break my ankles; cue the first photo. Afterwards it started to bleed a lot, was painful to the touch with some additional weeping. After some research I decided to give Abreva a shot, upon application noticed that weeping and bleeding had decreased considerably. However the wound remained, sticking around for a week. As of now, when taking a look at the second photo, there is a pale patch of skin on my lip from where the initial sore scabbed over. There are also raised bumps around that initial injury that are still sensitive, albeit not open wounds. As for the second sore further up my lip, it formed a day or two after the lower one, and is still ‘healing’.
I understand that this is probably a cold sore, but my only concern is the pale patch left by the ‘healed’ sore. If there is anyone that can recommend anything for me, that would be greatly appreciated.
tldr; injured lip developed sores. A week and a half later the sore leaves behind a pale patch. Is this scarring or should I get it checked out?
Thank you for your time!
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2023.05.30 12:27 eggmayonnaise Middle-aged dad, want something I can play at the end of the day
I've got a Steam Deck, a Switch and a PS4. I'm looking for something I can play at the end of a long day of working and looking after my young children. Both of those activities are mentally draining and I find myself wanting something I can just stick on for half an hour or so and feel like I've had a rich experience but one that's not too stressful.
I'm a big follower of the gaming scene and I'm aware of lots of games, I'm just struggling to come up with ideas. Here's what I'm looking for:
- A game that can be played in short sessions if I want to, or played longer if I have time.
- I like games with rich stories but I don't want to get bogged down in long cutscenes and all that nonsense.
- I want a game that can be played somewhat casually. I don't want something too stressful that requires difficult button combos and frantic action that makes me stressed. But I do like some sense of tension and I do enjoy some horror games if they're not too intense for prolonged periods.
- I'm on a budget so preferably something cheap (less than $20).
I really enjoy story/action games like Half-Life, The Last of Us, Resident Evil. I'm also a big fan of indie games, arcadey stuff, light-hearted games like Patapon, the Mario series, etc. Also enjoyed Vampire Survivors and games like that, although I might be getting a little tired of them now. I also like some puzzle games like Picross but I don't want anything too mentally taxing.
Any suggestions would be welcome! Thanks :)
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2023.05.30 12:27 Jamalgiesy Panic attacks switching from 10mg to 20mg?
So I switched after 7 weeks on 10mg to 20mg, and after about 5 days, I had to go to a Memorial Day outing with my extended family. I had 2 panic attacks in the car ride there and we had to go home. They were the most intense panic attacks I’ve ever had, I did not know they could get that bad. My fingers couldn’t even bend it was so intense. Just 2 weeks ago I went to a funeral with all of the same people and had anxiety but was more than fine, talked to people at the funeral and left. So in my opinion this is not a normal occurrence in my life. Is this a side effect of switching from 10-20? Is it I assume temporary?? I’ve had a few panic attacks in my life but they’re usually caused by depression which lexapro has helped. These felt like pure anxiety. Hoping this is normal, is it normal? Did anyone have more panic attacks than they ever would switching doses? Thank you very much for your advice
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2023.05.30 12:27 Arula777 Added Warpstone Weaponry to my DnD Campaign Need Advice
WARNING THIS POST IS VERY LONG!!! EDIT: FORMATTING! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
So I added Warpstone to my 5E game. For the uninitiated its the Warhammer equivalent of Uranium/Weapons Grade Fissile Material. Was it a mistake... perhaps. My players procured it, rolled to refine it, and then paid a substantial amount of gold to have it fashioned into weapons. Currently I have 1 fighter and 1 barbarian that possess these weapons. As it stands whenever the Barbarian Rages, or the Fighter Action Surges, they must roll on the "Warpstone Weapon Table" as detailed below.
The weapons are only +1, but as you can see they have a little more "umph" than your typical +1 weapon. The players are lvl 7, and the ultimate culmination of the weapons table results in a "Wish" (Scroll to the bottom to see effects)... currently, this is what I have (plus some more, but it exceeds the post length).
I need your help to tell me just how badly I screwed up... or if I can make this work. If this seems like something I can manufacture into a table, and if it gains traction within the community I will post a link to the google doc, otherwise... here it is in its bastard glory...
- Warp Explosion: The weapon overloads with chaotic energy causing a massive explosion. The Weapon is destroyed in the process. Roll a d100, This is the radius of the explosion. Every creature within the radius must roll a DEX Saving throw DC 18. Full damage on a failed save, half on a successful one. For each level of the Wielder roll 1d20, this is the damage caused by the explosion. Any creature caught in the radius of the explosion that fails the DEX save may choose to roll on the Warpstone Weapon table to take half damage instead.
- Corruption: The wielder's flesh begins to mutate and warp, causing physical deformities. Roll 4d6, this is the time in hours the player is affected. Roll 1d6, 1= R leg, 2= L leg, 3= R arm, 4= L arm, 5= Torso, 6= Head. If a leg is affected Speed is reduced by half. If an arm is affected the wielder has disadvantage on attack rolls. If the torso is affected the wielder rolls an additional d10 and their max HP is reduced by that number. If the wielder's head is affected they roll 1d6: on a 1-2 the player is blinded, on a 3-4 the player is deafened, on a 5 the player is muted, and on a 6 their nose falls off. If the player's nose falls off only Greater Restoration may reattach the player's nose to their face. If the number of hours before a player's nose is reattached exceeds the number of hours this effect impacts the player, then then the player's nose disintegrates and the player takes a permanent -2 to persuasion rolls, and -2 to perception rolls involving smell, the player gains a permanent +4 to intimidation rolls. If a player's nose suffers disintegration the only way to restore it is through a wish spell.
- Mind Warp: The weapon's influence seeps into the wielder's mind, causing hallucinations and delusions. Roll 4d6, this is the time in hours the player is affected. During combat, at the beginning of their turn the player rolls a WIS saving throw DC 19, on a failure they may only use an action, reaction, bonus action, or movement. On a success they may take their turn as normal. While out of combat the player has disadvantage on all perception rolls until the effect ends.
- Taint: The wielder's presence becomes repulsive, attracting malevolent entities and causing social ostracism. Roll 4d6, this is the time in hours the player is affected. Player has disadvantage on all CHA rolls and NPC's will treat them with disdain.
- Soul Erosion: The weapon gradually drains the wielder's life force, weakening them over time. Roll 4d6, this is the time in hours the player is affected. On effect, and at the beginning of each hour, the player rolls a CON saving throw starting at a DC 18. On a failure the player may choose one of the following: roll a hit die and lose max HP equivalent to the die roll, roll 1d4 and reduce their STR ability score by that much, or take 2 levels of Exhaustion. On success the player suffers no negative effects and the DC for future saving throws is reduced by 1.
- Warp Madness: Exposure to the weapon's energies drives the wielder to madness, resulting in erratic behavior. Roll 1d100, this is the time in hours the player is affected. Roll an additional 1d100 on the long term madness table. If the player rolls a 1 or 100 at any time they must roll an additional 1d100 on the indefinite madness table. If the player's rolls result in indefinite madness roll the only cure is through a Wish spell.
- Uncontrolled Mutation: The wielder's body undergoes uncontrolled and unpredictable mutations, leading to physical instability. Roll a STR saving throw DC 17. On failure the player Rolls 1d6, 1-2= Leg, 3-4= Arm, 5= Torso, 6= Head.
- If a leg is affected Speed is reduced by half.
- If an arm is affected the wielder has disadvantage on attack rolls.
- If the torso is affected the wielder rolls an additional d10 and their max HP is reduced by that number.
- If the wielder's head is affected they roll 1d6:
- 1-2= the player is blinded.
- 3-4= the player is deafened.
- 5= the player is muted
- 6= their nose falls off. If the player's nose falls off only Greater Restoration may reattach the player's nose to their face. If the number of hours before a player's nose is reattached exceeds the number of hours this effect impacts the player, then then the player's nose disintegrates and the player takes a permanent -2 to persuasion rolls, and -2 to perception rolls involving smell, the player gains a permanent +4 to intimidation rolls. If a player's nose suffers disintegration the only way to restore it is through a wish spell.
- Chaotic Feedback: Wielding the weapon causes chaotic feedback, resulting in random magical effects on the wielder. Roll 1d100 on the Wild Magic Surge table.
- Psychic Instability: The weapon disrupts psychic abilities, causing psychic powers to become unpredictable or uncontrollable. The player rolls 1d10, this is the time in minutes the player is affected. The player rolls 1d100, this is the radius of the effect in feet.
The player becomes a psychic lightning rod, any psychic damage that is dealt within the radius of effect is instead redirected towards the player.
- Warp Sickness: The wielder experiences chronic illness and weakened vitality due to prolonged exposure to the Weapon's Warp energies. The wielder must succeed on a Constitution saving throw DC 15 or take 4d10 radiant damage, suffer one level of exhaustion, and emit a dim, greenish light in a 5-foot radius. This light makes it impossible for the creature to benefit from being invisible. The light and any levels of exhaustion caused by this effect end when the affected player takes a long rest.
- Reality Fracture: The weapon creates temporary ruptures in reality around the wielder, causing unpredictable and dangerous phenomena. The player must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw, DC 14 or it can’t take reactions until the effect ends. The affected target must also roll a d10 at the start of each of its turns; the number rolled determines what happens to the target, as shown on the Reality Break Effects table.
1–2 = Vision of the Far Realm. The target takes 2d12 psychic damage, and it is stunned until the end of the turn.
3–5 = Rending Rift. The target must make a Dexterity saving throw, DC 15, taking 2d12 force damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
6–8 = Wormhole. The target is teleported, along with everything it is wearing and carrying, up to 30 feet to an unoccupied space of your choice that you can see. The target also takes 2d12 force damage and is knocked prone.
9–10 = Chill of the Dark Void. The target takes 2d12 cold damage, and it is blinded until the end of the turn.
At the end of each of its turns, the affected target can repeat the Wisdom saving throw, ending the effect on itself on a success.
- Dark Resonance: The weapon resonates with dark energies, attracting malevolent entities and increasing the risk of possession.
Roll a d20:
- 1 = the Mists of Ravenloft appear and the DM determines the dread realm the party is transported to. - 20 = a portal to Avernus opens and the DM determines if a hellish host erupts from it, or drags the party in.
- 2-9 = Summon Lesser Demons (the demons are hostile to everyone).
- 10 = Summon Greater Demon which is hostile to everyone.
- 11-19 = Summon Fiend which is not immediately hostile.
If a summon effect occurs roll an additional d10 to determine the level of the casting. Any number below the spell's level; causes the spell to fail. Otherwise it is up-cast to the appropriate level. If the spell is 10th level it is to the DM's discretion what comes through the warp.
- Curse of the Warp: The weapon carries a potent curse that brings misfortune and calamity to the wielder and those around them. If the Remove Curse spell is used, as an action, the player may become unattuned from the weapon and the curse's effects will diminish. Otherwise the weapon must be destroyed.
- Roll 1d12, this is the number in months the player is affected by the curse.
- Roll 1d10 to establish one of the following effects:
1: The victim has disadvantage on attack rolls, if an effect would grant the player advantage or add to their roll it instead has the opposite effect.
2: The victim can’t communicate using language, whether through speaking, sign language, writing, telepathy, or any other means.
3: The victim gains 3 levels of exhaustion that can’t be removed while the curse endures.
4: When the victim finishes a long rest, they must succeed on a DC 15 Constitution saving throw, or their hit point maximum is reduced by 1d10. If this reduces their hit point maximum to 0, the victim dies, and their body crumbles to dust.
5: When the victim takes damage, they take an extra 1d10 necrotic damage. This effect can’t happen again until the start of the victim’s next turn.
6: A monster hunts the victim relentlessly. Even if the monster dies, it rises again or a new one takes its place 24 hours later.
7: The victim gains vulnerability to one damage type.
8: The victim’s Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution score is reduced to 3, and the victim can’t be raised from the dead while the curse lasts.
9-10: The victim gains a Dark Gift.
- Warp Addiction: The wielder becomes addicted to the sensations and power granted by the weapon, leading to reckless behavior to satisfy their cravings. Roll 1d100 on the indefinite madness table 3 times. A greater restoration spell or more powerful magic is required to rid a character of indefinite madness.
- Haunting Whispers: The weapon whispers sinister thoughts and temptations to the wielder, gradually eroding their moral compass. Roll 1d10, this is the time in minutes the effect lasts. Upon being afflicted, and every minute, or at the beginning of each turn if in combat, the player must Roll 1d100 on the short term madness table. The character must then roll a CHA saving throw DC 10 or suffer the effects of madness as well as count the saving throw as a failure. On any success all madness effects are ended and any failed saves are removed. The character is deafened for the remainder of the effect's time. On a Failure they begin to become corrupted by evil forces, after three failed saves their alignment shifts to chaotic evil.
- Soul Corruption: Wielding the weapon corrupts the wielder's soul, staining it with dark and malevolent energies. Roll 1d100 on the short term madness table. While affected the character must roll a CHA saving throw DC 18. On a success the madness effect is ended. On a Failure they are corrupted by evil forces and their alignment shifts to chaotic evil.
- Energy Feedback: The weapon unleashes bursts of chaotic energy upon striking, causing harm to the wielder as well. On a hit, roll 1d6 to deal additional force damage to the target. Half of any damage dealt by the weapon is redirected to the wielder in the form of force damage.
- Power Drain: The weapon drains the wielder's own strength and vitality with each strike, making them weaker over time. On a hit the player rolls 1d4 losing an equivalent amount of STR and Max HP. These are restored at the end of a long rest or by Greater Restoration.
- Reality Deterioration: Prolonged use of the weapon causes the wielder to lose touch with reality, leading to confusion and disorientation. The wielder is affected as if under the effects of the confusion spell.
- Ethereal Binding: The weapon binds itself to the wielder's soul, making it difficult or impossible to part ways with the cursed weapon. The character is gradually consumed with a paranoia surrounding the loss or destruction of the weapon. If the weapon is lost, unattuned to (via remove curse), or destroyed, the player rolls 2 hit dice and their max HP is reduced by the amount rolled. Only greater restoration may restore the lost HP.
- Warp Consumption: The weapon consumes the wielder's essence, eventually turning them into a twisted servant of Chaos. Roll 1d100 on the short term madness table. While affected the character must roll a CHA saving throw DC 19. On a success the madness effect is ended. On a Failure they begin to become corrupted by evil forces, after three failed saves their alignment shifts to chaotic evil.
- Corrosive Touch: The wielder's skin becomes corrosive, causing anything they touch to dissolve or decay. Roll 1d10, this is the time in minutes this effect lasts. Any items the player is currently wearing begin to take damage. A player may use their turn to drop their gear. At the beginning of each turn the player rolls a d20. On a 1-5 any armor, weapons, or gear the player is still touching, rapidly disintegrate into a pile of goo. The player has advantage on rolls to grapple, a grappled creature or an object the player interacts with takes 6d6 acid damage.
- Painful Paralysis: The wielder experiences temporary paralysis and intense pain, making movement difficult or impossible. Roll 1d10, this is the time in minutes the player is affected. At the start of each turn the player rolls a CON saving throw, DC 12, or they become paralyzed. A player may choose to fight the paralysis by rolling a hit die and taking an equivalent amount of damage, but their speed is halved and they have disadvantage on any attack rolls made while affected by the paralysis.
- Rotting Flesh: The wielder's flesh begins to rot and decay, emitting a foul odor and attracting disease-ridden vermin. Roll 4d6, this is the time in hours the player is affected. The player has disadvantage on stealth rolls or attempts to hide. At the start of each turn roll 1d20. If the roll is less then 10 roll 2d4, that many diseased giant rats are summoned. They are hostile to everyone and always attempt to bite the affected player.
- Fractured Bones: The wielder's bones become brittle and prone to fractures, causing constant pain and limited mobility. Roll 4d6, this is the time in hours the player is affected. The player has disadvantage on STR and CON saving throws and ability checks that use those modifiers. Additionally, the player has vulnerability to Bludgeoning and Force damage.
- Warped Nervous System: The wielder's nerves become erratic and hypersensitive, resulting in chronic pain and involuntary muscle spasms. Roll 4d6, this is the time in hours the player is affected. The player has disadvantage on DEX and INT saving throws and any ability checks that use those modifiers. Additionally the player has vulnerability to Lightning and Psychic damage.
- Cursed Blood: The wielder's blood becomes toxic, causing sickness and weakness when exposed to others or ingested. When a player is damaged they may use their reaction to cover an opponent within 5ft with their blood. The player may also cut themselves as an action and throw their blood at an opponent. Upon being hit with the player's blood the affected creature must roll a CON saving throw DC 15 or suffer disadvantage on any attack rolls.
- Deteriorating Vitality: The wielder's life force weakens, leading to fatigue, decreased physical endurance, and overall diminished health. Roll 1d4, this is the time in days the player is affected. While affected the player has disadvantage on attack rolls and STR and CON saving throws and ability checks that use those modifiers. At the start of each day the player must make a CON saving throw DC 12. On a failed save they roll half of their hit die and take an equivalent amount of damage. If the player doesn't have enough hit die to roll they instead take 2 points of exhaustion that cannot be removed until this effect ends. A greater restoration spell ends this effect.
- Uncontrollable Tremors: The wielder experiences uncontrollable shaking and tremors, impairing their coordination and precision. Roll 4d6, this is the time in hours the player is affected. The player has disadvantage on DEX and STR saves and any ability checks that use these modifiers. The player also stutters when they speak. Any spells that use verbal or somatic components are subject to a a DEX save equal to the player's spellcasting modifier. On a fail the spell does not occur.
- Warped Sensations: The wielder's senses become distorted, leading to constant migraines, sensory overload, or loss of sensation. Roll 4d6, this is the time in hours the player is affected. The player has disadvantage on WIS and INT saving throws and any ability checks that use those modifiers. Additionally the player has vulnerability to Thunder and Psychic damage.
- Necrotic Aura: The wielder emits a malignant aura that withers nearby plant life, causing wounds to fester and heal slowly. Roll 1d10, this is the time in minutes this effect lasts. Roll 2d10, this is the size of the aura in meters centered on the warpstone weapon. Any creature that enters or starts its turn in the aura, must make a CON saving throw DC 12 or take 2d6 necrotic damage. While in this aura any attempts to heal or stabilize someone automatically fail.
- Tainted Aura: The wielder's presence causes discomfort and repulsion in others, resulting in social isolation and rejection. Roll 4d6, this is the time in hours the player is affected. While affected the player has disadvantage on CHA and WIS saving throws and any ability checks that use this modifier.
- Darkened Vision: The wielder's eyesight becomes compromised, causing impaired vision, night blindness, or distorted perception. Roll 4d6, this is the time in hours this effect lasts. The player's vision is reduced to 10 ft and if they have darkvision or truesight it is disabled. The player also has disadvantage on perception rolls.
- Slowed Metabolism: The wielder's metabolism drastically slows down, leading to weight gain, sluggishness, and reduced physical performance. Roll 1d12, this is the time in months the player is affected. While affected the player only needs to eat the equivalent of one day's food per 10 day.
- Uncontrolled Growth: The wielder's body experiences abnormal growth spurts, resulting in disproportionate limbs or excessive height. Roll 1d12, this is the time in months the player is affected. Upon being affected and at the beginning of each month roll 1d6, 1= R leg, 2= L leg, 3= R arm, 4= L arm, 5= Torso, 6= Neck. Then roll 1d6, add an equivalent number of inches to the affected body part. These changes can only be reversed by a greater restoration spell after duration of the spell has occurred.
- Depleted Vitality: The wielder's life force drains rapidly, leading to chronic weakness, pale skin, and a fragile constitution. Roll 1d10, this is the time in minutes the player is affected. At the start of each turn roll a CON saving throw DC 12, on a success roll a hit die and take an equivalent amount of damage. On a failure, do the same thing, but reduce your maximum number of hit die by 1. If the player has no hit die remaining, whether by depletion from the effect or if their hit die pool is reduced to zero, they must instead roll 1d4 and subtract the result from their CON score. Any of these effects can be reversed by Greater Restoration.
- Inflammation: The wielder's body becomes chronically inflamed, causing joint pain, swelling, and reduced range of motion. Speed is reduced by half. If the player uses the Dash, Dodge, or Disengage action they must roll a CON saving throw DC 12. On Success they may move their full speed (it cannot be doubled as with the Dash action), or take the respective action, but they will take one point of exhaustion. On failure the player takes one point of exhaustion.
- Searing Burns: The wielder's skin is prone to painful, blistering burns from even the slightest exposure to heat or sunlight. Roll 1d10, this is the time in minutes the player is affected. The player takes 2d10 radiant damage when it starts its turn in sunlight. While in sunlight, it has disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks.
... I have place holder descriptions for every value after this one, but I wanna fast forward to the ultimate...
- Wish of the Warp: The weapon transmutes into a dense bead of unstable bright green chaos energy. Although the weapon is lost in the process, the wielder may make one wish. This effect only lasts for a single round, if a wish is not made during the round of combat the energy is unleashed and a chaotic explosion occurs. The wielder is the only creature not affected by the explosion.
submitted by Arula777
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