American flag sleeve tattoo

Hi! Younger guy here, but i’ve just got my fifth tattoo. I’ve been thinking about a sleeve for a while and have a lot of ideas that i have in mind for things i want incorporated into it. My artist that i go to for everything is awesome and super accommodating and always willing to work with ideas. My question however is how many ideas is too many when bringing an artist something for a sleeve? I obviously don’t want to bombard them with too many complicated things and make their job impossible for them, but I also feel I should give them enough to work with. I’m generally new to the culture of tattooing, so before I embark on this journey I just wanted to know the clearest and most respectful path I should follow when talking to my artist. Thank you!

Doing this as a bit of a poll and to also get some advice.
Recently got my tattoo on May 26-27 and am going on a cruise to Mexico starting June 16th. It’s a black and grey half sleeve and healing great so far. Just the regular scabbing in the blacked out spots and is showing signs that it’s about to peel.
Could I start using some spf 50 sunscreen starting then? I’m obviously not going to be beach bumming and tanning. There will be a couple days of travel until I’ll be walking around Mexico as well.
Just wondering if it’s safe to walk the deck for a little bit or if I should buy some loose and breathable long sleeves to be safe.
I know I’m cutting it close by going into the sun during the mid to late stages of the healing process but I wanted to here your guys’ thoughts. Any help would be appreciated, thanks!

I am specifically referring to National Bolshevism as the term was originally coined, rather than any group of people who may have labelled themselves "National Boshelviks" since. The term predates even the establishment of the Soviet Union in 1922, let alone any other 20th century regime. The term was originally used by Karl Radek to describe two member he was expelling as "National Boshelviks". What these people wanted to do was align the revolutionary movement in Germany with that in Russia in mutual opposition to both the treaty of Versailles and the treaty of Brest-Litovsk.
I am specifically defending the prospect of this strategy in particular rather than specifically any person who might have been or could have been advocating for it and any ideas they might have had otherwise, not because it is national, or even bolshevik, but rather because I think it conforms with the idea in the Communist Manifesto of the role of Communists in relation to Proletarians where the Communists do not form separate political programs of their own and instead are supposed to align various proletarians movements together across nationality with respect to the current stage than any of those movements may find themselves in.

In what relation do the Communists stand to the proletarians as a whole?
The Communists do not form a separate party opposed to the other working-class parties.
They have no interests separate and apart from those of the proletariat as a whole.
They do not set up any sectarian principles of their own, by which to shape and mould the proletarian movement.
The Communists are distinguished from the other working-class parties by this only: 1. In the national struggles of the proletarians of the different countries, they point out and bring to the front the common interests of the entire proletariat, independently of all nationality. 2. In the various stages of development which the struggle of the working class against the bourgeoisie has to pass through, they always and everywhere represent the interests of the movement as a whole.

Therefore the irony of this position I am defending is that it was the one advocated for by people labelled National, which would clearly seem to be contrary to being independent of nationality, and Bolshevik who would seem to be sectarians seeking to mold to proletarian movement. The other irony is that for it to have been possible it would have required overcoming proletarian movements in different nationalities operating independent of one another, in addition to overcoming the sectarianism emerging between all the differing "Communist" movements. In other words this is another call in an endless stream of "stop infighting!" coupled with "everyone except for me is wrong" which just contributes to the infighting by creating a new sectarian divergence but there is very little that can be done about that. Mostly this is just an excuse to discuss a particular moment I find interesting and inner contrarian in me just wants to make the seemingly most insane position seem the most reasonable as a challenge.
Lenin was not in favour of this so it was a bit of a non-starter. In "Left-Wing" Communism: An Infantile Disorder he criticizes people who refuse to recognize the treaties, but in addition to the tendencies of so-called National Bolsheviks, he also criticized the Left-Communists that Karl Radek and the other German Revolutionaries were often members. Here we can start to see a problem emerging as you clearly have two different revolutionary movements in two different countries who are having difficulty working with each other (with the problem of the treaties between these countries not even being the main issue they were squabbling over). Indeed while not around long enough to have become officially a Left-Communist herself, Luxembourg is associated with them as her writings are cited as a major influence on the tendency, and she is notable for criticizing Lenin's Bolshevism.
There was a lot of confusion in this period and numerous tendencies diverging from one another, the reason being is that in the wake of the Russian Revolution and the end of the First World War there was a period of revolutionary activity across the entire world. While Russia and Germany are often the most focused upon due to the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany being our core 20th century players and many seeing these revolutions as the origin points of these things with a compare and contrast analysis being done to understand while one failed and the other succeeded, in the light of understanding the world revolution as a wave, looking at just these two revolutions becomes parochial, as there was clearly one singular revolution going on across the world in the same way as during the Revolutions of 1848 where the Communist Manifesto was published.
Indeed Marx and Engels viewed that as a singular revolution and would have viewed the similar wave of revolutions that peaked in 1919 but spanned from 1917-1923 as a singular revolution. While differing in severity there was revolutionary activity in numerous countries ranging from the Two Red Years in Italy to the much less impressive sounding Red Week) in the Netherlands. Even as far away as Canada, Australia, and South Africa there were labour revolts in this period. The case of Canada is a bit emblematic of the obscurity of the scale of these events, as while the Winnipeg General Strike of 1919 is well known, much like with only Russia and Germany beings discussed, the strike wave nature of the events in Canada just as in the world tends to fall out of discussion, as for instance this wave actually started with a general strike in Vancouver that was crushed by the military.
In the Preface to the 1882 Russian Edition of the Communist Manifesto, Marx and Engels even suggested in the wake of the assassination of the Tsar Liberator that the impending Russian (bourgeois) Revolution would serve as a signal for the Western proletariat to have their Revolution, and that the Russian Revolution could end up being communist alongside the West.

And now Russia! During the Revolution of 1848-9, not only the European princes, but the European bourgeois as well, found their only salvation from the proletariat just beginning to awaken in Russian intervention. The Tsar was proclaimed the chief of European reaction. Today, he is a prisoner of war of the revolution in Gatchina, and Russia forms the vanguard of revolutionary action in Europe.
The Communist Manifesto had, as its object, the proclamation of the inevitable impending dissolution of modern bourgeois property. But in Russia we find, face-to-face with the rapidly flowering capitalist swindle and bourgeois property, just beginning to develop, more than half the land owned in common by the peasants. Now the question is: can the Russian obshchina, though greatly undermined, yet a form of primeval common ownership of land, pass directly to the higher form of Communist common ownership? Or, on the contrary, must it first pass through the same process of dissolution such as constitutes the historical evolution of the West?
The only answer to that possible today is this: If the Russian Revolution becomes the signal for a proletarian revolution in the West, so that both complement each other, the present Russian common ownership of land may serve as the starting point for a communist development.

Now 1882 didn't turn into a revolution in Russia and there were several false starts like in 1905, but eventually it did finally happen. However seemingly with Lenin's New Economic Policy, both scenarios discussed ended up needing to happen. The Russian Revolution was both Communist and they felt it impossible to transition straight into Communism and thus had to allow some kind of bourgeois property relation to develop, and then later on had to eliminate this thing they created themselves in a rather unfortunate series of events. Additionally while the Russian Revolution did prove to be a signal for the Western proletariat to have their revolution, the proletariat revolution failed. In the spirit of this discussion I'm going to be argue that these were not separate incidents but rather the failure of the western proletariat's revolution is why Lenin implemented the NEP in 1922, in part because of internal rebellions calling for these things and because the international revolution seemingly failed resulting in a loss of hope that the western proletariat would in some way save them, which had to result in some kind of proletarian vanguard party lead bourgeois state emerging on the fly. Stalin would later have to undo this both these consequences in the events he is most criticized for, as in addition to reversing the NEP with collectivization, he undid the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk when as Molotov said "One kick from the German army and another from the Soviet Army put an end to this ugly product of Versailles" in regards to Poland. Polish independence being quite the unfortunate sacrifice here considering how supportive of it Engels was in the 1892 Polish Preface the the Communist Manifesto.

But the rapid development of Polish industry, outstripping that of Russia, is in its turn a new proof of the inexhaustible vitality of the Polish people and a new guarantee of its impending national restoration. And the restoration of an independent and strong Poland is a matter which concerns not only the Poles but all of us. A sincere international collaboration of the European nations is possible only if each of these nations is fully autonomous in its own house. The Revolution of 1848, which under the banner of the proletariat, after all, merely let the proletarian fighters do the work of the bourgeoisie, also secured the independence of Italy, Germany and Hungary through its testamentary executors, Louis Bonaparte and Bismarck; but Poland, which since 1792 had done more for the Revolution than all these three together, was left to its own resources when it succumbed in 1863 to a tenfold greater Russian force. The nobility could neither maintain nor regain Polish independence; today, to the bourgeoisie, this independence is, to say the last, immaterial. Nevertheless, it is a necessity for the harmonious collaboration of the European nations. It can be gained only by the young Polish proletariat, and in its hands it is secure. For the workers of all the rest of Europe need the independence of Poland just as much as the Polish workers themselves.

(The call for "full autonomy in a nations own house" is probably worth explaining. Nations that should be autonomous are nations which can be autonomous all on their own without international meddling. Engels was notoriously against all the south slavs for their pan-slavism because their independence was necessitated by interference from Imperial Russia, in part because he was still mad about the revolutions of 1848 not working out. He was even still mad at them 34 years later when he reaffirmed Polish independence alongside Irish independence as the most crucial national struggles to support. The reason being that Poland rejected pan-Slavism and was instead independently nationalist. That Poland could stand alone (and more importantly that Polish agitation threatened three reactionary imperial monarchies in Germany, Austria, and Russia at the same time. Ireland being important to screw around with the bourgeois British Empire as Marx and Engels increasingly saw the absentee revenues the British ruling class generated for themselves in Ireland as being the key to their parliamentary political dominance in England against both lower class and anti-imperialist challenges which were often the same thing) is why Polish independence was so supported. Standing alone is important because autonomous nations can switch between the rule of various classes without the risk of foreign interference on the part of imperialist reactionaries putting things back the way they were to protect their sphere of influence. The issue is that Polish independence ended up being a thorn in the side of the revolution when Polish independence was granted through Wilsonian liberal internationalism and during the Russian Civil War the Red Army tried and failed to retaliate against Poland when they joined forces with the Entente Liberal Imperialists in the Soviet-Poland War.
For NATO fans the opposition to NATO comes from this concept of being against spheres of influence, with a preference for complete independence. The Soviets or even Russia joining NATO however transform the institution from an American sphere of influence into just some vague "nobody invade anybody else okay guys thanks" treaty which is what it is sold as. So long as Russia is not included in NATO it fails to fulfill its stated purpose, and it must be opposed because it does not protect the independence of the nations within it, rather it makes them subservient to the United States, and the counter-balance of Russia inside the block is sufficient that the nations within it could seamlessly transfer between spheres of influence, or more importantly, not be in anyone's sphere of influence by successfully playing the US and Russia off each other, which puts each nation in a position to pursue development with little risk of the alliance being used to punish them. In fact if say Luxembourg decided to go rogue it could even use the NATO treaty to argue that anyone infringing upon them should be subjected to retaliation by all the other members, and now they have a socialist Luxembourg in the middle of Europe and they can't do anything about it because the treaty guarantees their independence with multiple dozen moving parts so long as Luxembourg doesn't militarily invade anybody. However if the organization is nothing more that an American political block with US bases every where, clearly the US would be able to pressure people into recognizing the socialist Luxembourg as illegitimate in some way and argue it can be invaded without requiring everyone come to its defense. So NATO good if Russia included and US bases removed, an in NATO Russia still isn't a threat to even Estonia if dozens of European countries are required to defend it, and that isn't even considering a late arrival of the US and Canada when they finally cross the Atlantic. The problem with NATO is that it is clearly an unofficial loosely held US empire, it stops being a problem when it is no longer this)
This whole confused mess could have been avoided had the world revolution not failed. This circles back to the Russian and German revolutions and how they were not united. Therefore the position of those labelled Nazbol is attractive merely for the sake that it would have united these two disparate revolutions. The success of either was reliant on the success of the other. The prior Bolshevik position of Peace Without Annexations or Indemnities would permanently lock in the Russian and German revolutions together in a mutual opposition to the bourgeois treaties, a pact of blood to oppose the pacts signed in ink.
Additionally opposition to the indemnity aspect of the treaty of Versailles would have been in fidelity to the revolutionary history of the Paris Commune which inspired the notion of the dictatorship of the proletariat in 1871, which was prompted in part by opposition to the burden of the reparation payments imposed on France by Bismark in response to Napolean III's failed invasion being placed on the people of France by the bourgeois government that signed that treaty. On a global scale while the opportunity for revolution by the proletariat refusing to enter World War One was squandered by the Social Democrats granting their permission, the proletariat could instead refuse to exit World War One by not granting their permission for acceptance of the bourgeois treaties just as the Paris Commune refused to accept Bismark's treaty.
Indeed opposition to the bourgeois Treaty of Trianon served as the basis for cooperation between the Nationalists and the Communists in Hungary, who unlike the Luxembourgists in Germany, were internationally aligned with the Boshelviks in Russia with the establishment of the Hungarian Soviet Republic. The alliance however broke down with the establishment of the Slovak Soviet Republic as the Hungarian nationalists questioned why they were participating in the Hungarian Red Army if they were just going to be liberating other countries, this ended up not even being that relevant of a dispute seeing as Slovakia was never fully captured and the Czechoslovak army ended up recapturing it in a month and so the issue only lasted from June 1919 to July 1919. However it exposed the core obvious problem with the alliance between nationalists and communists, as the full Petrograd formula was "peace without annexations or indemnities, on the basis of self-determination of the peoples" so the nationalists opposed to treaties were not going to like it when the second part got implemented later.
Lenin and Stalin ran into a similar issue when Stalin opposed Georgian self-determination in 1922 and wanted them to instead join Russia, with the comical situation of Stalin calling the Georgian Mensheviks "nationalist-socialists" and the Russian Lenin accusing the Georgian Stalin of being a Russian nationalist-socialist in response. We can clearly see that there are vastly differing views on the questions of nationality all over the place and there was no one line being taken, with Hungary and Germany taking vastly different views in regards to the treaties and cooperation with nationalists, to their own unique sets of problems later on with them.
The vastly different ways everyone was handling these issues is why I argue that the best principle would have been to have no principles at all. The only communist principle in regards to nationality is international cooperation. Indeed while you had Communist revolutions in German, Hungary, and Russia, the common thread uniting them of opposition to the bourgeois treaties would have also united them with the liberal Kemalist revolution in Turkey, thus completing the alignment of all revolutionaries in the central powers and Imperial Russia against the rest of the entente attempting to impose the bourgeois treaties, in effect adding Russia to the central powers after the imperialist war had turned into a civil war in all four imperial monarchies. That Turkey was in a vastly different stage of revolution than the other three would be irrelevant as these revolutions would still be mutually supporting of each other, and the Communists could rest assured safely knowing that while differing countries might be in different stages of revolution, they had the advantage over all others in knowing the ultimate end result of all their revolutions even if the people operating in them might not know it themselves.

The Communists, therefore, are on the one hand, practically, the most advanced and resolute section of the working-class parties of every country, that section which pushes forward all others; on the other hand, theoretically, they have over the great mass of the proletariat the advantage of clearly understanding the line of march, the conditions, and the ultimate general results of the proletarian movement.

As such the notion that one needs to be politically Communist to participate in the revolution is false. So long as a state of revolution remained the stages of the revolution could continue moving forward. If Turkey was not materially ready for it, that need not matter so long as the Kemalists were willing to join in an anti-imperialist block in the mean time, which they were willing to do until the Soviets later started looking at the straights with desire which eventually pushed Turkey into the arms of NATO where it remains to this day. However at the time the Soviets and Turkey were quite friendly despite their obvious ideological differences merely based on this mutual geopolitical interest in so-called anti-imperialism. This anti-imperialism was selective however, with the "Mountain Turks" and "Mountain Russians" being sacrificed for it, but the benefits of not having principles means you don't exactly have to care about that. Ataturk can make poutine out of the Kurds all he wants if he remains staunchly anti-imperialist on an international level. This gross cynical realism while obviously questionable is still consistent with Revolutionary History as all prior revolutions do not stand up to moral scrutiny when they are viewed in this way. In fact at the twilight of the 1848 revolutions Engels himself called for the Hungarians to wipeout the "counter-revolutionary" Slavs, while this is obviously not something we should want to have happened, and we definitely should not ever do this if we ever find ourselves in a position to make those decisions, it is important to understand the reasoning behind why he was saying those things, that it is the continuance of the revolution itself is both the most important thing, and something that is largely out of anyone's control in the Hegelian sense of Historicism.

The Magyar cause is not in such a bad way as mercenary black-and-yellow [colours of the Austrian flag] enthusiasm would have us believe. The Magyars are not yet defeated. But if they fall, they will fall gloriously, as the last heroes of the 1848 revolution, and only for a short time. Then for a time the Slav counter-revolution will sweep down on the Austrian monarchy with all its barbarity, and the camarilla will see what sort of allies it has. But at the first victorious uprising of the French proletariat, which Louis Napoleon is striving with all his might to conjure up, the Austrian Germans and Magyars will be set free and wreak a bloody revenge on the Slav barbarians. The general war which will then break out will smash this Slav Sonderbund and wipe out all these petty hidebound nations, down to their very names.
The next world war will result in the disappearance from the face of the earth not only of reactionary classes and dynasties, but also of entire reactionary peoples. And that, too, is a step forward.

A key fact you will observe is that they are often quite over eager in announcing the impending revolution. For instance The Magyar Struggle was published in January of 1849 in Marx's Newspaper, and Louis Napoleon was elected President of France in December of 1848. It seems as if they might have thought that this would have been more significant than it actually turned out to be. This kind of made sense though because Louis Napoleon's main opponent in the election was Louis-Eugene Cavagnac who lead the army to suppress a worker's uprising in Paris back in the "June Days" of 1848. Additionally the Hungarians did not do this, instead they adopted cultural assimilation policies called Magyarization, and late in the revolution into 1849 while the Russian and Austria Imperial armies were barring down on them they adopted minority right protections to try to win them back. However they were ultimately unsuccessful in repelling the Russian invasion regardless of any attempts at outreach.
What I find notable about this is that Engels essentially predicted the sides of the "next world war" (albeit there was a world war in between) that would wipeout entire peoples, but somehow ended up reversing the reactionary and revolutionary sides, as an Austrian German and the Hungarians did engage in a war against the Slavs, but because somehow the "poles of revolution" did somehow invert and head outwards from Russia like Engels said the Slavs supposedly wanted, that war was against the revolution instead of for it.

There is no country in Europe which does not have in some corner or other one or several ruined fragments of peoples, the remnant of a former population that was suppressed and held in bondage by the nation which later became the main vehicle of historical development. These relics of a nation mercilessly trampled under foot in the course of history, as Hegel says, these residual fragments of peoples always become fanatical standard-bearers of counter-revolution and remain so until their complete extirpation or loss of their national character, just as their whole existence in general is itself a protest against a great historical revolution.
Such, in Scotland, are the Gaels, the supporters of the Stuarts from 1640 to 1745.
Such, in France, are the Bretons, the supporters of the Bourbons from 1792 to 1800.
Such, in Spain, are the Basques, the supporters of Don Carlos.
Such, in Austria, are the pan-Slavist Southern Slavs, who are nothing but the residual fragment of peoples, resulting from an extremely confused thousand years of development. That this residual fragment, which is likewise extremely confused, sees its salvation only in a reversal of the whole European movement, which in its view ought to go not from west to east, but from east to west, and that for it the instrument of liberation and the bond of unity is the Russian knout — that is the most natural thing in the world.

However a lot can apparently change in almost 100 years. Russia was once seen as the bastion of reaction celebrated by the reactionaries everywhere for having invaded Hungary to put down the 1848-9 revolution, but then became the center of revolution, taking that spot from France which didn't really participate in the Revolutions despite the 1917 mutinies defused in June by Philip Petain by reassuring the soldiers by calling off the offensives that were intended to try to reassure the Provision Russian Government from the February Revolution to stay in the war and who launched the "Kerensky Offensive" in July which prompted the unsuccessful "July Days" Bolshevik uprising before the later successful October Revolution.
The absence of French participation beyond this is remarkable given how much they played a role in other revolutions and also remarkable how it was later Vichy leader Petain himself who basically defused the situation by giving the soldiers what they wanted and ending the suicidal offensives. The difference between Petain and Kerensky here and that the Russian revolution had not yet gone proletariat at this point while France was dealing with its own situation coming up from the soldiers and that the Russian version of this happened only a month afterwards should probably be focused on more here, in addition to how the differing approaches countries took on simultaneous and similar events from 1917-1923 should be analyzed like how I am suggesting (Comprehensive Revolutionary History of World War One when? Honestly I might write it at this point, issue is wikipedia as sources is probably not the greatest, and wikipedia article bouncing is how I'm formulating these connections as it requires an extremely shallow understanding of a lot of things that people with deep understandings of those things would all reject because I'm ignoring intricacies, despite ignoring intricacies being the entire point as intricacies are caused by random eddies and chaotic currents, and so must be ignored if you want to get a sense of the overall direction things are going, although admittedly I feel myself getting a bit schizo when I assert random concepts whole cloth that nobody has ever used by anyone besides me as you will see with the term "global political magnetic field collapse")
Since the Russian Revolution the apparent "pole of reaction" where global reactionaries collect as their refuge that Russia represented seemingly shifted to the United States for the Cold War after the pole reversal and global political magnetic field collapse manifesting in the out of place auroral borealis of the inter-war period and world war 2. It would be reasonable to assume that it would be just as possible for the United States to become a new center of revolution in the way Russia took that position from France despite Russia being the most reactionary power of anyone before that happened.

Built during the Space Race to compete with the Soviet Union, the Saturn V Rocket was launched on July 16, 1969 and was used during the Apollo 11 mission and spearheaded America's effort in landing on the moon. Not only was it an engineering marvel far ahead of its time, it would later lay the cornerstone for building newer and better rockets. It was a testament to the feats mankind can achieve on this "pale blue dot" and it secures a place among some of the best inventions humanity has ever created. Moreover on the engineering and capabilities of the Saturn V, it was able to generate 34 million newtons of energy during launch, had a 310,000 lbs payload, and was a 363 feet, truly marking it as one of humanity's best creations yet, as it still stands as one of the most powerful rockets NASA has to offer. One thing overlooked, however, is it's political symbolism, as it showed how truly influential and powerful America was during the Space Age. This brings me to its dick shape. The Saturn V was shaped like a dick, perhaps purposely, and in a way showed America's raw ambition to beat the Soviets, as well as its justified distaste towards Communism. It was a dick flying through the sky, a dick integral to the Apollo 11 mission, and was respresentative of our superior engineering and space program. In addition, the launching of the Saturn V and the planting of the American flag into the grey lifeless rock known as the moon, was one of, if not, the most televised event in history, meaning that everyone would know we were launching a large boner through the sky to combat the Soviet Unions power of influence. While the Motherland watched in awe as we beat them at the space race, we launched our glorious 363 foot cock known as the Saturn V to the moon so that Soviets could know their glorious nation was boned, porked, and fucked. Metaphorically, NASA was the handsome Chad with a defined jawline thrusting inwards to the MILF that was the Soviet Union, and the Saturn V was the cock that made it possible. We fucked their Motherland. Next time you see a rocket, next time you see the ISS fly over your town or city, next time you see another launch from NASA, show some patriotism and remeber the technological marvel that is the Saturn V which made all this possible.

I had my Gentle Guidance with Rita yesterday, which was very eye-opening for me. Let me start by saying Rita is the nicest human being on the planet. She takes the time to listen and answer with intent. She knows her words have power so she is very deliberate with her responses, which is really impressive for a 30 minute call. If you're on the fence about getting the GG I say do it no matter the stage of your personal style journey you're in. If you are unfamiliar with the process, before the GG you fill out a form with some questions. She starts the GG by asking more questions, and then she will address any concerns you have, then tell you your key, the archetypes she thinks you'll get the most support from, and supporting keywords. I'm giving my interpretation of her advice so please feel to ask questions if something doesn't make sense.
Okay let's get into it!
We first talked about my current spiral around needing cohesion in my personal style. She was blunt with me and said that I'm a multi-dimensional person and because I use the Amethyst Key I should dress for the Raven (which is my name, hi there lol) in the moment. I should be seeking more variety and not less. I should be changing and exploring. She recommended doing a character design exercise to understand Raven as the persona and then use my personal style as a lens to be perceived. I'm currently working on that exercise and loving it! It's like creating a Dungeons and Dragons character but that character is me!
She agreed with my placement of Left Up/Amethyst. She placed me more up than I ever considered, but when we got into it I definitely saw it. I loved the way she explained the archetypes so I wanted to share. She explained them as friends that you go to for advice. You wouldn't go to your friend for career advice if they aren't in the field you want to be in, right? Same for the archetypes. They aren't who you are, but a guide to help you. They are a fictional person with the same needs, wants, desires as you. Ask them for advice, and see what germinates. She recommended I look at Enchantress, Siren, and Lady Heretic as a blend but keep them separate. She did say that having three archetypes is not common but I could use the support of each one to help with different aspects of my process and my personal style.
Enchantress - She really wants me to lean into identifying what I need to express to the world, and do it without a specific aesthetic. Cohesion is a part of the process because I define the story, but isn't the intention. The enchantress needs to be high maintenance and I should lean into the effort and know that I need the additional effort to execute my vision. I should also think creatively while staying true to my vision but not get too nitpicky. Let the randomness flow through!
Lady Heretic - She wants me to use the Lady Heretic to provide that "step on people" energy that I definitely mentioned during our session. I want to be the most stylish person in the room and feel stylistically superior, a form of social dominance (which isn't as bad as it sounds). I shouldn't be afraid that I'm the "most dressed-up" person in the room. I actually thrive off of that. I should use the Lady Heretic to assert myself more and use her to learn how to take up more space. Flex on 'em!
Siren - Very similar points to the Enchantress, but with the Siren she wants me to identify my personal red flags for nitpicking. Would I nitpick a friend's outfit to the extent I criticize my own looks? Give myself grace and space to grow with this medium. I base a lot of my "success" on receiving praise from the outside. Turns out I don't need that! I'm creating a reaction, and I don't need to make anyone but myself happy about what I'm wearing. Let's unsettle them. Let's make them uncomfortable, it's okay! I also need to shift the control from external acknowledgment to my own. Whether this is a large art piece or just a sketch, I am in control. I need to shift the energy to get more of what I need from my personal style.
She also wants me to keep exploring. I'm in the Blossom and Harvest phase and just need to allow myself to be and enjoy the fruits of my labor!
Rita then gave me the style keywords she thinks relate to me the most. The first were Sensual and Dramatic with a touch of glamour. Sensual was no big surprise. She described it in a way I really love where she sees that framing the body, hinting at the body is really where sensual hits home for me. Dramatic was a little surprise just because I haven't put too much time into exploring drama. I do love the performative nature of my style so I'm excited to get into it more. She framed sensual as soft while dramatic is hard, and that's how I should look at getting that juxtaposition across my looks. She also said that I'm naturally dramatic because of the tattoos, so sensual is the home base for me to add softness and create that contrast.
The other keywords are Gaia/Elemental and Intimidating which I'm OBSESSED with. We at first explored elemental but she really liked Gaia as my essence. She changes with the seasons and she doesn't care what anyone thinks. Others do not affect the seasons changing, they just change. I loved that. She also loved intimidating here because that is Gaia. She is power. You should be intimidated by the elements and raw energy. Expect some moodboards coming soon!
I turned to this community yesterday for ideas on what to call the combination of my 3 archetypes. I want to make the flair something others will recognize, but for myself I decided to come up with my own archetype based on the character design I created. I want to combine the whimsy and magic of the enchantress, the allure of the siren, and the rebellious nature of the lady heretic with the idea of being a stellium in astrology.
The name I came up with was "the Solstice Supreme."

"The Solstice Supreme" conveys a sense of power and authority, suggesting a figure who holds a position of utmost significance during the solstice, a time of celestial transition and cosmic energy.
"Solstice Supreme" represents a character who wields unparalleled enchanting abilities, possesses an irresistible and seductive aura like a siren, and challenges established norms and authority like a lady heretic. Solstice embodies the magic and allure of the enchantress, the captivating and seductive nature of the siren, and the rebellious and heretical tendencies of the lady heretic. This archetype suggests a character who holds celestial wisdom, harnesses the power of cosmic forces, and wields them to navigate and shape their own destiny.
The addition of "Supreme" emphasizes the character's elevated status and extraordinary capabilities within the context of the enchantress, siren, and lady heretic archetypes. It suggests a figure who is revered, feared, or respected for their powers and their ability to shape the course of events. Ultimately, "Solstice Supreme" evokes a sense of celestial grandeur, dominance, and awe-inspiring presence.

I chose "Solstice" to represent the magic of change and transformation. "Supreme" gives me that "step on me" vibe. Together I'm envisioning this alluring powerful force of nature. It just fit so well with how my mind chooses outfits and the feelings I get when I complete a look that I love.
The overall experience was so great! I will definitely work with Rita more in the future. She gave me so much in such a short amount of time and I'm excited to see where it takes me! Let me know if you have any questions around my experience.

I began withdrawal in January. Probably had this since 2019, definitely 2021. It was so bad for the first five weeks I was confused as to what flairs and cycles were. It just itched all the time. I had to put cold compresses on my neck because the skin was too raw to scratch yet the itching was relentless and undeniable. Only in April did I realize that there are ups and downs. I just thought I had a mild case (it was not, February was one of the worst times in my life). Part of the difficulty was because some of the damage was YEARS old. My fingers in particular. I gained COVID-weight and assumed that was why my rings no longer fit. "You are just losing weight, it cannot be THAT bad." It was that bad. No. It was inflamed fingers. I had/have a scratch rag. Though thankfully even when I flair it is never so bad as February. Had a bad one at the end of April, very bad. Though because the skin was so much healthier after years of abuse it was very manageable even as people around me were worried.
I have experienced some gruesome stuff. In March even though what was happening was inflammation reduction to even drier skin to scratching to healthier (relatively) skin. How it felt was scratching to inflammation reduction to healthier skin. My left elbow, where the eczema began, was so swollen that as I scratched I could see throughout the course of a single day the skin have a lower topography on the areas I scratched most. I even did an experiment where I scratched certain areas more to confirm and it was true. I was scratching away large chunks of dead skin. I could not see the tattoo on my left leg for months. Though now some 'scales' that have been on the front of my calves for years have disappeared too. Which is doubly surprising considering it was not particularly itchy.
This last part is why I am making this post. My skin's integrity is much better. For ~six weeks I would sometimes break skin just with a single scratch. Though by the time I got to the bad April flair my skin was healthy enough that I would scratch until my hands cramped. Not hyperbole. It would cramp badly. A month later and I can exercise most days as long as I take a cold (not lukewarm) shower afterwards. Elephant skin is much better, I even went out in a t-shirt recently withouht being worried of scaring everyone away. 'Red' (I am Black) sleeves are maybe beginning to budge. Wrists are very itchy though. I miss the way scratching my forearms and the part of my neck that connects to the jaw on the front. Nothing except when I got my ears flushed at 7 (the left one felt so good the doctor had to steady me).
*takes break to scratch calf*
Inflammed hands (the meaty part between the thumb and index) started suddenly in April and are down now too. My forearems were also badly inflammed. I am very vascular, 30+ years of running and swimming and a decade plus of weightlifting have me that way (I am under 40). I forgot how vascular I was and assumed it was weight-loss (the healthier my skin is, the more I can exercise and my diet it TIGHT) . Until that April flair. I 'scratched through' some sort of plaque I was certain was a permanent scar in two or three days and multiple veins on both arms, especially the left, came back. IT was not weight loss. That plaque was also very tender to the touch. Especially after scratching. Now the skin looks a little different from that around it, yet the soreness is gone other than the fact that I keep poking.
My neck looks better than it has in two years, which is a very low bar and even the best case scenario is months more management before I feel normal. I am just grateful that unless something happens to add years of damage to my fingers (THEY LOOK ALMOST NORMAL!!!) and neck again no flair will be as bad as that first constant weeks long abomination I went through. My robot vacuum was running constantly throughout March and I still had to sweep and regular vacuum almost daily to stop my house from turning into a dust pile.
Thanks for indulging me of you read this through.
Nota bene: I am aware that I should try not to scratch. That amount of willpower disappeared a year ago. Months before I even knew about Topical Steroid Withdrawal. Nothing anyone says will give me back that willpower.

I've seen a lot of post where people have talked about combating the high cost of food in Iceland by bringing "staple foods" with them. Our group of six is flying from the US to Iceland via Icelandair and we're hoping to do the same by cooking most meals at our AirBnBs during our week long stay.
Fresh produce and meat are obviously not going to get through customs, but what specific food items are easy to travel with and won't get flagged in anyway? Dry pasta should be fine, but is tomato sauce ok? Is Spam a threat to American and/or Icelandic national security?
I've never tried to bring much food when traveling by air, so recommendations, recipes, and links to official sources are appreciated.

I spent 2 weeks traveling through Japan - Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto and I'm writing this for those who are thinking about visiting. To preface, I did travel with a friend but spent a lot of time on my own. I'll cover as much as possible.
Pre-Trip
I booked a flight with American Airlines / Delta Airlines for $590 round-trip three months before departing.
I flew out of Los Angeles to Tokyo (Haneda). The trip started on February 9 and ended on February 20. I booked my accommodation before arriving in Japan. I used Hostelworld and Agoda. More about the hostels and hotels I booked are below.
COVID Screening and Visa information for US Citizens only
During the time I visited, Japan still required visitors to be fully vaccinated and have a pre-screening for arrival. First I had to do a pre-screening for American Airlines on VeriFly (please do this a day before checking in at the airport if so). Then, save yourself time and use Visit Japan Web (http://vjw-lp.digital.go.jp/en/) and do the pre-screening requirements a couple of days before departure.
When you land in Tokyo, immediately after deplaning, swaths of airport personnel ask if you have the screener filled out and ready to go. If you don’t, they put you to the side and ask you to fill it out using the airport’s wifi. It takes time and you still have to go through customs after.
Visas for US citizens is a free, 3-month visa if I recall correctly. Bring your COVID vaccination card just in case they ask for it.
Tech/Phone
I took my iPhone 14 Pro (unlocked) and connected buying Ubigi 10gb data plan. Do this before flying to Japan. When you land, you can activate your data plan directly on your phone. I didn’t get pocket wifi as the Ubigi worked perfectly.
Download the Ubigi app. They give instructions but please follow them.
Apps that I used:
Google Maps: you can download offline maps.
Google Translate: Use this everywhere you go. You can use the camera feature and it can translate Japanese to English really great. It saved me a lot of hassle when ordering at restaurants.
Currency Converter
You might want to download a VPN if you want to use Netflix and such. Express VPN is one I’d recommend.
Money/Currency
I took my Charles Schwab debit card and a backup Chase credit card/Chase debit card. Surprisingly, a lot of stores in Japan are cash-heavy; especially small shops and restaurants. My budget for the trip was $2000 with flights included.
Hostels and hotels were around $20-35 USD. Food prices were about $7-$20 a meal. It can get really expensive if you eat at fine dining restaurants. That being said, I stuck to eating mostly at hole-in-the-wall establishments where no English was spoken. Believe me when I say that the best ramen I ever had was only $7 USD. More on what restaurants I recommend are down below. If you really want to save money, don’t buy alcohol.
A solid budget for me was $60-$80 per day without lodging expenses. Some days, I only spent $40 which was all food (I spare no expense for food), then some days I went over because I bought cool souvenirs for myself and some excursions were pricey. You can visit Japan for less but I didn’t want to money pinch myself because I was only there for 2 weeks.
Transportation
I love Japan for this reason. So here’s my take: If you are visiting Japan for exactly 14 days; get the JR Pass on Klook. You buy this a month before departing your home country. For me, Klook delivered it about a week after I bought it over Mail. You could buy either a 7, 14, or 21-day JR pass so I would recommend planning a trip that matches these exact number of days to get the most out of your money.
Now imagine you’re in Japan. It is your first day officially visiting…go to a JR Pass office at any major train station and ask them to redeem your pass. They will ask for the paper ticket that arrived in the mail to your home and they will ask for your passport. After they verify that it is you, they will give you a small ticket which will be your JR pass. DO NOT LOSE THIS! I believe they will not replace it. On how to use it, check out this video.
Now to navigate, I used a combination of Google Maps and Apple Maps to get around. Use whichever one is more comfortable for you. These 2 apps are really exceptional at mapping out the best routes and the times trains depart. Note: the JR Pass only works for JR rail lines! Tokyo/Kyoto/Osaka all have their own subways and train lines with their own payment system. More on this…
So the best way to get around the city is using a Suica card. These are sold virtually at any train station. If you can't find it, ask a train station attendant and say “Suica?”. They point you in the right direction.
A Suica card can be refilled unlimited times and can be used for any rail lines (JR included, but not for Bullet Trains). It is used by tapping at the turnstiles to enter the rails and at any vending machine in Japan! Also at arcades! It is a total mindblower haha Also in Tokyo, some hostels or hotels have a 3-day subway pass for cheap.
Bullet Trains - You can use the Shinkansen bullet trains if you have the JR Pass. Make an important note: You can only ride the Hikari or Sakura trains with your JR Pass. The Nozomi and Mizuho are reserved seating and cost extra because they have fewer stops. If they catch you using these rail lines, they will ask you to get off the next stop or worse, fine you and report you. To see Mount Fuji from Tokyo to Kyoto/Osaka, sit on the right side of the train (right side of the direction it is going). Use Google Maps and Apple Maps to pinpoint when to look out the window.
Food
I usually ate sandwiches and pastries from 7-Eleven in the morning or whenever I needed to pack a lunch. It was a great way to save cash and the food was delicious. High-quality foods and snacks.
As I said earlier, I really spare no expense for good, big meals. I save money at 7-Eleven so I can go all out for lunch and dinner. My go-to meal was usually ramen because it was so damn good. I tried a lot of foods. I’ll try and remember which ones I ate: - Ramen - Okonomiyaki - Unagi - Katsu Curry - Taiyaki - Tempura - Japanese cheesecake - Macha ice cream - Macha waffles - Onigiri - And a lot of different ice creams, confectionary snacks - McDonald’s - please try lol they have interesting combinations
Pack List
I used a 40-liter Osprey backpack.
1 scarf
1 beanie
2 cotton t-shirts
2 thermal polyester long-sleeve shirts (Odor resistant)
2 pairs of joggers
1 pair of Nike thermal leggings
8 pairs of Nike Dri-Fit boxers (lost 1)
4 pairs of ankle socks
3 pairs of Darn Tough Merino wool blend socks (Highly recommend, Odor resistant)
1 parka
1 pair of Adidas Ultraboost shoes
1 Hershel toiletries bag
2 Forge cable combination locks
External battery pack (13000 mAh)
Bose QC-25 noise-canceling headphones
Over the course of the trip, I bought a much-needed 30L Patagonia day backpack
I don’t sweat heavily so I re-wore my shirts, the Merino wool blend socks, and joggers. I did my laundry maybe once or twice at the hostels. It was freezing at the time I went, so I usually layered up when temperatures were lower than usual.
Safety
I am a 6'1" (1.85 m) male with a light brown complexion. I felt safe most of my time there. I think it was the safest country I have ever been to. Some Japanese people are known to be racist but I didn’t experience it. So I wouldn’t worry about it.
Itinerary/Activities
Feb 9 Day 1 Tokyo Feb 10 Day 2 Tokyo Feb 11 Day 3 Tokyo (Day Trip to Odiaba/Yokohama) Feb 12 Day 4 Osaka Feb 13 Day 5 Osaka (Day Trip to Hime-ji Castle/Kobe) Feb 14 Day 6 Osaka (Day Trip to Nara) Feb 15 Day 7 Kyoto Feb 16 Day 8 Kyoto Feb 17 Day 9 Kyoto Feb 18 Day 10 Tokyo Feb 19 Day 11 Tokyo Feb 20 Day 12 Tokyo (Fly Out)
I will put a star (*) next to anything that I highly recommend! 2 stars are for more emphasis! I will list the accommodation first, then activities, and then bars/restaurants.
Tokyo - 3 Nights (Asakusa + Akihabara + Odaiba + Yokohama)
Lodging: Sakura Hostel Asakusa
Activities: *Tokyo National Museum, *Senso-ji Temple, Kaminarimon Gate, Nakamise-dori Street, *Sengaku-ji Temple, Hirose Entertainment Yard arcade, Animate Akihabara, **Mandarake Complex Akihabara, Tsukiji Outer Fish Market, TeamLabs Odaiba, Gundam Yokohama, NISMO Museum Yokohama, Nissan Headquarters Yokohama
Restaurants/Bars: Fuji Ramen Asakusa, Asakusa Unana, *Naruto Taiyaki, *Koyangi Asakusa, *Ouzakura Ramen Yokohama
Took a Shinkansen bullet train from Tokyo to Osaka
Osaka - 3 Nights (Kobe + Nara)
Lodging: Backstage Osaka Hostel
Activities: *Hime-ji Castle, *Kaiyukan Aquarium, Dontonbori, Shinsekai, Round 1 Stadium (arcade), *Nunobiki Waterfall Kobe, *Todai-ji Temple, *Nara Park, Kasuga Taisha Temple, Gilco Sign
Restaurants/Bars: *Wakakusa Curry Nara, *Nakatanidou Nara, *cafe CROCO Nara, Fanny Mae Bar Osaka, Rikuro’s Namba Main Branch, PC and Retro Bar Space Station, Bible Club Bar Osaka, Untitled karaoke bar next to Rock Bar Cherry Bomb lol, Takoyaki Wanaka Sennichimae Osaka, Sushi Dokoro Kuromonsuehiro Osaka, *Dotombori Ichiaki Osaka, *Hamamoto Coffee Himeji, Tairku Ramen Kobe
Took a Shinkansen bullet train from Osaka to Kyoto
Kyoto - 3 Nights (Day Trip to Uji)
Lodging: **Gojo Guesthouse
Activities: Otagi Nembutsu-ji Temple, Adashino Mayumura (closed when I arrived early), Arashiyama Bamboo Grove, *Tenryu-ji Temple, Togetsukyo Bridge, *Nishiki Market, *pocoapoco Record Store, Super Milk Record Store, *Fushimi Inari Taisha Temple Complex, *Byodo-In Temple Restaurants/Bars: *comorebi Ramen House, 茶室 tea room Uji, *Gion Duck Noodles, 自家製麺 うどん 讃式
Took a Shinkansen bullet train from Kyoto to Tokyo - Saw a glimpse of Mount Fuji :’)
Tokyo - 2 Nights (Shinjuku + Shibuya + Akihabara)
Lodging: **Capsule Hotel Anshin Oyado Shinjuku Station (Males Only)
Activities: Tower Records Shinjuku, Disk Union Shinjuku, Mandarake Complex Shibuya, Nakano Broadway, Tokyo Dome for Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, *Shibuya Sky at Night, Tokyu Hands Shop
Restaurants/Bars: Ramen Kaijin, Shakey’s, McDonald’s, Ichiran Nakano
Tips, Advice, and Bonus Stuff!

1. Goes without saying but please respect the local customs.
   
2. Please learn how to say “Thank You” in Japanese! Just learning and using “Arigato” anywhere you go will make you seem like you care and respect everyone. Nothing was more embarrassing than watching an American say “thank you” to a Japanese person.
   
3. Plan to do the major tourist attractions early in the morning. You will get nice pictures without any tourists and you’ll sometimes get the whole temple complex to yourself. The staff will also be more friendly and willing to chat with you. I usually aim to be at temples around 7:00 when they open.
   
4. Use Google Translate for everything! You can have full conversations with friendly Japanese people when using the conversation feature on the app! Use the camera feature to translate Kanji at restaurants that do not offer an English menu.
   
5. Get a Ubigi data plan, I bought 10GB and it had good service anywhere I went. Get more GB if you plan on staying longer.
   
6. I ate at 7-Eleven most of the time when I was too lazy or tired to go out. The 7-Elevens here in Japan are nothing like the ones in the US. Expect to find high-quality sandwiches, Onigiri, and more Japanese snacks.
   
7. Shop at supermarkets near the end of the day (1 hour before closing) and they usually mark down prepped meals half-off or at a discounted price! If you really on a budget, this can help you to save a ton of money and still get a taste of the local cuisine.
   
8. If you need to buy random stuff like clothes, bags, or toiletries; go shop at any Don Quijote or Tokyu Hands department store. They have other shops too that are great to find cool stuff.
   
9. Use Google Translate to translate English to Kanji (Japanese) and use Kanji to find restaurants that are hidden because they don’t use English words. For example, if you want to find the best ramen place, search “拉麺” and you’ll find hidden gems with 5-star reviews!
   
10. The best souvenir I brought back myself was a Goshuincho. These are “honorable stamp/seal book” used by people visiting shrines or temples. If you want more info, google this! I highly recommend doing this!
    

If you have any questions, comment below or send a DM. Peace!

Just who are making all these Dicey Decisions?
I'm glad you asked!
Scott: DM and creator of Dicey Decisions. College professor in the real world, certified amazing everywhere else. Corin: The producer and behind the scenes wizard that keeps the stream flowing while we are busy role playing. Brandi: Marketing, Social Media, and Graphic Design. Brandi is a maladaptive daydreamer-teacher-fantasy author with an infamous stubborn streak and questionable addictions to social media and graphics software.
That brings us to our players... in no particular order and with minimal fanfare we have...
Name: Daniel Character Played: Garrick Stillbraid, Half-Elf Paladin Occupation: Healthcare Data Analyst First TTRPG: D&D 1st edition TTRPGs Played: D&D (1e - 5e), Pathfinder 1e, The One Ring, Star Wars (Fantasy Flight), Star Trek Adventures Favorite TTRPG Character: Izar Goldbranch, Half-Elven Acid Savant Sorcerer (D&D 3.5e) Favorite TTRPG Memory: After an Orcish citizen was found decapitated in their home and the party trying their damndest to not let racial tensions boil out of control, I accidentally set off a blood brawl with some unfortunate (and completely coincidental) wording: "Everyone calm down. There's no reason for anyone to lose their heads." Other Hobbies: Film, Theatre, Sports, Cooking, Professional Wrestling, Video Games (especially Open World Games) Fun Fact: My first semi-regular artistic gig was writing for a short-lived Miami-based wrestling promotion in the late 1990s.
Name: Amanda Character Played: Ashrina Gemmender, Gnome Rogue First TTRPG: D&D TTRPGs Played: D&D & Call of Cthulu Favorite TTRPG Character: My first ever D&D Character I made- Eloise the child rogue. She was a little hobo who stole and hoarded every piece of food she could get her hands on. I think about creating her for a full length campaign all the time. Favorite TTRPG Memory: I once "ruined" an encounter that was meant to overwhelm us in wave-style combat while one of our members was channeling a 10 minute spell with a wall of fire spell that I circled around the party thus rendering all the baddies useless as they burned up passing through the wall. Other Hobbies: Bowling, Video Games, random crafting Fun Fact: I have two giant dogs, a Great Dane and a Great Pyrenees and between the two of them they weigh 300+ pounds and consume 10 cups of food a day.
Name: Jack Character Played: Sliver, Human Bard First TTRPG:TTRPGs Played: Favorite TTRPG Character: Favorite TTRPG Memory: Other Hobbies: Fun Fact:
Name: Sean Character Played: Kid, Half-Elf Rogue Occupation: Paid geek First TTRPG: AD&D 2E 3E 3.5E 4E 5E, Pathfinder, Blackmoor, Dungeon Crawl Classics, Savage Worlds (Deadlands, Necessary Evil, Space: 1889), Warhammer / 40K Roleplay, 7th Sea, Call of Cthulu, World of Darkness, RIFTS, Shadowrun, Legend of the 5 Rings, Ryuutama, SPLINTER, Kult Favorite TTRPG Character: Kakita Kenshin, a noble swordsman from the Kakita clan, who was killed in an honor duel at the Imperial Winter Court in an intrigue engineered by another player at the table. His death was so dramatic and unexpected that the entire table gasped as the final blow was struck. When you can create a character and participate in telling a story with enough depth and emotional weight that a character death is actually impactful - that's when RPGs truly come alive for me. Favorite TTRPG Moment: There are too many wonderful moments to count, but my favorites are the emergent RP moments that happen in a roleplay heavy group. In one homebrew campaign, I was gifted a drunken dwarven bard to play named Oakstone Flamehammer. While attempting to secure the aid of a foreign court, he was accused of lying to the assembled nobles. In a fit of rage, he bellowed back, "Lie? LIE?! I'M TOO DRUNK TO LIE!", passed the charisma check with flying colors, and aid was secured. I'll never forget that moment, or the friends that I made during that campaign. Other Hobbies: Road trips / traveling, video games (Destiny 2 warlock main) and retro game collecting, miniatures painting / modeling Fun Fact: I have been playing make-believe and inhabiting fantastical worlds my entire life. For as long as I can remember, video games have been my primary hobby and passion - I still own my original INTV System III - and I firmly believe that there is no better way to connect with people, engage with stories, or evoke memory than through the spirit of play.
Name: Justin Occupation: Network Engineering Consultant Character Played: Tarlan Hillspark, Halfling Cleric First TTRPG: AD&D 2nd Edition TTRPGs Played: D&D 2e, 3e, 3.5e, 4e, 5e. Pathfinder, Paranoia, Call of Cthulhu, World of Darkness, In Nomine, BESM, Gurps, Star Wars D6, Star Wars Fantasy Flight, Mutants and Masterminds, Avatar Legends, Shadowrun, Blackmoor Favorite TTRPG Character: "Doctor", Kenku Cleric/Wizard plague doctor Favorite TTRPG Memory: It was D&D 3.5 at a living greyhawk table playing a human wizard. The entire party had fallen to a pack of wolves and dire wolves leaving Viktor alone, out of spell slots, facing off against the last dire wolf standing. Viktor was in robes armed with a quarter staff... and stood his ground against the Dire Wolf avoiding every attack thanks to some awful rolling on the DMs part. He was later dubbed Viktor the Invincible after clubbing the dire wolf to death and stabilizing his party. Other Hobbies: Board games, video games, trading card games... one day I will grow up and have adult hobbies... maybe... Fun Fact: I have 5 tattoos with 3 more planned once I get the money and time. 1 - Kanji for "not dying" between my should blades. 2 - Captain America's shield on my right bicep. 3 - A raven on my left pec. 4 - An ellipses and semi-colon on my right wrist. 5 - Chester Bennington's wrist flame on my right forearm in his honor. Next tattoo will be a quarter sleeve rainforest on my left shoulder and bicep with an animal representing each of my kids (Monkey, Frog, Fish).

22f, appalachian, leo, 5'10, working in the nonprofit sector.
i'm mostly looking for organic connections with people that share similar interests, hobbies, or lifestyles. i graduated from college in 2021, and it's been fun figuring out life! i'm just a mountain girlie living in a city for work. i'm a big fan of traveling, which was put on a brief hiatus during covid, so i'm excited to get back out there. i'm an introvert at heart, but i love making meaningful connections with the people around me. i'm a little loud, a little opinionated, but funny enough to make up for it.
i have three degrees that i'm really proud of! i'm super open minded and curious about the world.
things i love: my little dogs, my hamsters, discovery+, baking, wrestling, dinosaurs, tattoos, thrifting, dolly parton, impractical jokers, traveling, 90 day fiance, interior decorating, sims, animal jam classic, detective joe kenda, birdwatching, gardening, anyone that has taken the time to educate themselves on social/political/economic issues.
things i don't love: illogical arguments, the american political landscape, capitalism.
ideal future: homesteading in the mountains with a silly little garden, chickens, and a great place to drink coffee. tell me what a dream life looks for you?? 20+

First: https://redd.it/11e34ce
Previous: https://redd.it/13q19ts
Chapter 31
It was a long while before Quin stirred. He knew it was well past the 14:00 mark when the crew would have re-boarded. He glanced down at his armband and saw 18:43. He was thirteen minutes late to the dinner hour. The weight of everything sitting heavy on his shoulders, he lethargically pushed himself out of bed and sat on the edge, his face in his hands. Falling forward onto his feet, he trudged over to the door and unlocked it. Out in the corridor, he found almost no one. A lone security officer made his way slowly around the corner as he was looking down at a tablet. He paid no mind to Quin and he slowly passed, heading to the cafeteria.
Maybe I can grab something to eat really quick before anyone recognizes I’m there, he hoped. They should all be busy eating, I could just slip in and out. He had no intention to speak to anyone. His armband and even the screen in his room were unusually silent, which didn’t bother him too much, given the way that he was feeling. He knew he would eventually have to face the crew, and especially Nova, back at work the next day. I technically should have been back already. There was mixture of fury, shame, and uncertainty brewing in his gut and he wanted to quash it before having to meet anyone. He breathed slowly, deeply, and leaned up against a wall. He let his head rest against the wall and felt the queasy feeling subside a bit. He sighed and pushed out a long exhale, leaving the wall.
He saw no one as he wound through the crew dormitories, arriving at the main hallway that connected the crew living space, the command deck, and the working spaces. Right on the edge of this junction, the main cafeteria’s double doors opened into a massive bay, with tables stretching far down the open space leading to the serving line and kitchens in back. Quin knew that back there, Bostwick had arranged to have coffee served continuously. He looked around and saw pockets of people eating and a larger crowd lounging around a group of tables. Quin saw Mae and Bostwick among the group and made to leave to avoid them, but Mae caught his eye and waved him over, preventing his escape.
Quin trudged over and sat down at the periphery of the group, He didn’t recognize a lot of the people sitting there, though he could remember a few being among Mae’s engineering section. He supposed the others were a good mix, some being security, judging by their builds and haircuts.
Mae leaned toward him a whispered, “As you can imagine, word has travelled fast.” This set Quin on edge. He in no way felt ready to confront his fellow crewmembers about what took place in that hangar. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat before he felt a hand on his upper arm. Mae was looking at him, meeting his eye as he silently pleaded to escape. Her firm clutch on his arm was remarkably comforting.
“It’s okay, Quin,” Mae whispered to him. “Nothing is going to happen. I’m here and so is Commander Bostwick. Stay, eat.” She slid him her tray where a good portion of her meal was untouched. He grabbed a rehydrated roll and tore off a bit. It was about all he could stomach. He chewed slowly and let his eyes trace the floor tiles between his feet. It allowed him to be ignored by the ongoing chatter while still paying attention to what was being said. A number of the crew were debating amongst themselves, some more loudly than others.
“Drake here thinks we can just go killing each other willy-nilly,” one crewmember said loudly. She gestured to an older, scruffy looking man in a white t-shirt and a stained apron reclining against the table, a hardened look about him. He was the head of the kitchen crew that Quin remembered from his first briefing.
“Shoulda killed ‘em while she had ‘em pinned,” Drake grunted. His accent was more British than anything, though it was course and not like some of the academy instructors’ more refined dialect.
“You can’t be serious, Drake. Killing another person? That’s so senseless,” Mae said.
“Goddamn thief, gotta lot less than ‘e deserved,” Drake scowled.
“Drake, we’re on a goddam humanitarian mission, for the love of…” Mae quipped, exasperated. “How can you be for killing this guy when we are trying to save all those people of Gaia?”
“It’s tha’ job, girlie,” Drake retorted. “You officer types got all these ideas. You know how much a support staff gets from this? Imma retire tha’ minute we get back.”
“Well, sure, there’s that,” Mae said, a little resigned. “But there’s also the humanist principle. Protecting and promoting human life.”
“Life is pointless, dearie. Th’ sooner you reconcile yerself with tha’, the sooner you will be comfortable with th’ fact tha’ nothing you do matters. Tha’ bloke is insignificant. An’ so are you,” Drake stated, punctuating his last sentence with a jab of the finger at Mae.
“Why are you being so cold?” Mae said, rather hurt.
“Cause life hurts, right Chief?” Drake sneered. He turned to Commander Bostwick with raised eyebrows. It was clear that Bostwick was now the only person that could say anything that would be heard by the entire group, Drake included. The familiarity of the remark seemed to indicate that Bostwick and Drake had been on missions before together.
“Actually, Drake, I don’t agree,” Louis said, seemingly waking out of a deep reverie.
“Really? You think this whol’ thing ain’t some crock of shit?” Drake asked incredulously.
“I have long ago come to terms with how small I am compared to the grand arch of the universe. You can’t be a space traveler and not see that. In my experience, it usually drives people to one of two extremes: they either become extremely religious in their search for belonging and purpose, or they become so nihilistic that caring goes the way of the common cold: extinct. I see that you tend towards the latter. Me?” Louis shrugged, offering, “I take a different approach. Yes, our existence has a sense of cosmic horror and pointlessness. We are not some Ancient Ones, consuming worlds and manipulating the very fabric of physical laws. We are subject to the universe’s ebbs and flows. So, what do we do? What can we do? We give our lives purpose; we give them meaning.”
“Yer just like ‘er,” Drake said, shaking his head and flapping his hands to wave him off. “Sentimental wishing that’ll save tha worl’.”
“Perhaps. Though I would say I’ve seen quite a few loved ones and colleagues senselessly killed: training accident mishaps, space travel cataclysms, incurable diseases, not to mention at the end of a gun.” Quin was frozen, though he was staring intently at the floor so as to not meet anyone’s gaze. He knew who Bostwick was talking about when listing those causes, and Quin felt his stomach churn violently when imagining himself being on that list.
“Their deaths affect everyone around them and funerals are for the living,” Bostwick continued. “You can’t see that and not be angry at the universe for what seems like random fatal chance. I know I have been at some points. So, I’ve come to look at it this way. In light of everything that could go wrong at any time, YOU, yourself, are responsible for giving your life meaning.”
“Philosophical bullshit,” Drake said, interrupting, and crossing his arms and leaning back against a cafeteria table.
“Shut the hell up, Drake,” Mae said testily, turning back to Louis.
“It’s okay, Mae, everyone is entitled to their opinion,” Louis said, smiling softly.
“Sure, but he keeps dismissing it without letting you explain it. What do you mean by ‘giving meaning’?”
“Hmm, well, look at it like this. Whatever you do in life, you are remembered by. Everyone interprets things too, so your meaning is the only thing that comes from you, intrinsically. Once you put it out there, it’s for others to deal with as they please. Especially in death. That’s why we gild our historical figures, we project our best wishes on them, despite what meaning they may have intended for their life. It is only in your own life and your own motivations that you are able to control your meaning, your purpose, so that is why you have to live your life as fully as possible.”
“Wow, that’s pretty heady,” Mae said, smiling a bit.
“Not really. Look at it like this. When the Europeans set out to conquer the American continents, they were after large amounts of gold. Gold, itself, has no real intrinsic purpose, until a person comes along and gives it a purpose or meaning by using it for something. So, the Europeans ascribed it tremendous value. The Native Americans living on those two continents, millions of people spread across thousands of miles of land and spanning cultures, languages, and beliefs, were subject to such cruelty and horror, through genocide and plague, all because the Europeans ascribed value to a particular resource. And the kicker is, these native groups held that resource in a different regard. Imagine an alien race coming along and saying that your…shoes,” Louis said, gesturing toward Mae’s feet, “were extremely valuable and were going to trade you for them. And you refused, so they killed you for them. Wouldn’t you think that their purpose for shoes is a little…off?”
Mae simply nodded. The rest of the cafeteria was silent.
“Sure. Humans are the only beings that we know of right now that can not only give purpose to things, but also to themselves. It’s why our species had religion for so long. People seek purpose. Now, I have no patience for such a system where my purpose is controlled by something else. Some people go their entire lives, repeating a mundane set of tasks within a relatively limited amount of space, and call that living. If that’s where they get their own purpose, then fine. But I’ve concluded that living a purpose-driven life means taking personal responsibility for one’s own actions and putting it at the service of others. I give myself purpose. That’s why I’m here. I’m fortunate that my life’s purpose is aligned with the humanitarian ideals present in our mission. Many people search a long time to find such a unity of purpose.”
“So yeh’ve got yer altruism an’ it keeps you warm an’ fed at nigh’,” Drake said sarcastically.
“I’ve got my bread and my cot, so I’m taken care of. I’m speaking about a higher search for meaning. I believe to my core that such a mission is purposeful, because I am dedicating my existence to others. I’ve come to accept my fate. If I die—and I shall because all of us are only temporary passengers on this journey—then my life’s meaning is crystal clear,” Louis finished, sitting back in his chair, taking a sip of coffee, and glancing over at Quin, who was busy tracing a panel of floor tiling with his eyes and trying to soak in everything Louis said. “And if it needs to be stated for the record, I’m also opposed to killing anyone onboard this ship, or off it for that matter, no matter what crime they are believed to have committed.”
Drake stood up, staring at Louis, and wiped his nose on his sleeve. He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but instead just shook his head and wagged his finger and stomped off to the kitchen.
Quin stood up too and skulked off out the main cafeteria doors. Louis jumped up and chased after him, leaving the rest of the room sitting quietly.
“Quin! QUIN! Will you just stop and talk to me?!” Louis said part-way down the hall, grabbing Quin’s arm and turning it. Quin’s eyes were burning as he was trying hard to hold in his guilt.
“Okay, come on,” Louis said, guiding him down the hallway.
They walked a full quarter length of the massive ship, Louis guiding him through the twists and turns of the labyrinth that was the Nemo. They passed through the portal leading to officer quarters and arrived at Louis’s chamber. The walls closed in around Quin as he and Louis crammed themselves into the room. Louis sat Quin down on the bed and took the desk chair.
“You need to cool down,” Louis said. “I know it’s not your fault. You have this really annoying, yet really endearing habit of carrying the weight of the cosmos on your shoulders. Even Atlas himself asked for a break. No one is dead.”
“Yeah, but it could have gone a lot worse. And I had no way of controlling it, yet I’m still responsible for it, Louis,” Quin half-shouted, launching himself up and pacing the small room. Bostwick’s eyes followed him back and forth. “I can’t face Captain Fuentes, or the other crew, let alone Nova. I don’t know what to say to her. Aside from that I almost got someone killed.”
“Like I said, Quin,” Louis said, smiling softly, his piercing grey eyes suddenly warm, “leave it to others to gab about the situation and suppose everything. You, yourself, are the only person who knows what is in your heart. But, my friend, I think I can guess what’s in there.”
Quin’s his chest was tight as he was burning up with humiliation and rage.
“You know what I do when I need to calm down?” Louis asked.
“What’s…that…” Quin said between slow breaths to calm himself, the tightness in his chest refusing to abate.
“You ever heard of Hendrix?”
“No, what’s that?”
“You mean, who’s that,” Louis said, hopping up. “Take a deep breath, lean back, and rest your head. Let the music wash over you.”
Quin laid his head back against the wall next to the bed and got comfortable.
“Now, center yourself. Take a deep breath,” Bostwick said softly as he scrolled through a menu on his tablet in the wall. He pressed play on his tablet, and the first twangy guitar strums filled the room, like a heartbeat, pulsing the air through Quin’s chest.
Quin let his eyes go unfocused and closed them as the lyrics began emanating from the nothingness around him. “After all the jacks are in their boxes…” the cool edge of the singer’s voice and the slow, driving grit of the guitar took over him, and he drifted off to sleep. The Nemo cruised on into the black, and it was as if Jimi and space fused as one, his music making the nothingness swell with soul. “And the wind…cries…Mary.”