Gay snapchat sexting
Snapchat Sexting
2016.09.25 01:12 loginhd Snapchat Sexting
This sub was closed due to abuse, spam and multiple users trying to scam others. Please do not ask to join this sub as there is nothing being posted
2018.11.20 07:35 RandomActsOfSexting
Hey, there you want to sext with someone? Look no further, here we have the free, non bots, no premium sexting forum you’re looking for. I suggest Snapchat, but you could use IG, Twitter or even reddit.
2019.03.03 22:02 xXMontageXx snap4snap
Snap4Snap is dedicated to helping you find new people to talk to on Snapchat from around the world. No sexting, or other 18+ content, please keep that to our other sub snapsexting.
2023.05.30 21:16 JetttMemooo Snap
 | submitted by JetttMemooo to Katjable [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 20:25 Solid_Race9860 Ethan Schmidt: Screenshots Appear to Show Anti-LGBTQ+ Activist Sexting Men on Gay Dating App
 | submitted by Solid_Race9860 to u/Solid_Race9860 [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 18:05 luna_a32 24 [F4M] I'm horny anyone online want to have wanna sext and fun on Snapchat:merinax2235
submitted by luna_a32 to snap4snap [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 17:54 lindababy_ 24 [F4M] Looking to sext for Snapchat:linda5x76
submitted by lindababy_ to snap4snap [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 17:53 Top-Pizza5499 21[F4M]Anyone for sexting? i'll send first , if you don't believe try it yourself,i'm not like others in this subreddit hit me Snapchat:jenifarrr23
submitted by Top-Pizza5499 to kiernanshipka18 [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 16:03 SlowJunket8363 Been lurking on this sub a long time and finally want to tell someone about my problems
My boyfriend of almost two years came with a lot of…baggage. Baggage is the nice way to put it. I knew his last relationship a couple years before we started dating was pretty horrible. His ex was extremely abusive to him mentally and physically. So I get why he was cautious to start a relationship again. But we did begin a relationship and moved in together pretty quickly. Shortly after moving in together, I don’t know why I decided to do this, but I looked through his phone. He had a couple of burner Snapchat accounts he would sext hundreds girls with, and had looked at tons of porn every single day. Very specific fetish websites where he’s interacting with other people. Okay, fine. I put up with that. I worked with him. He said it was an addiction and he wanted to stop. That took about a year to really get under control. He probably still looks at porn and I don’t really care about that a whole lot because the sexting thing was more what he was addicted to. He let me put a screen time password on his phone and it limits his ability to use Snapchat. Set up through my email so he can’t change the time limit. So he’s not doing that anymore, but our bedroom is still dead as fuck. From November-February of this year we did not have sex one time. No foooling around at all. And then we did for about a month or two, infrequently but still better than before. But now as of today we’re back on two months without sex. I think trying to recover from this fucking sexting addiction has killed his libido, and also his drinking habits. He drinks every single night until he falls asleep. I used to kind of encourage him to slow down, and then I saw him slow down and alcohol is the only thing I’ve seen cure his anxiety and insomnia… I know it isn’t healthy and I’m still not encouraging it but I’ve given up on that stopping. So this two things combined have completely killed any intimacy we had. We are both young, good looking, active people. I think I deserve a relationship where my needs are met, I’m too young to have a shitty sex life. He says his low libido is due to stress. He said he’s 28 and stressed about his low paying job and how he’s doing nothing that he wanted to do with his life. I asked him “so on top of that do you want to also have a shitty sex life?” He says no and he’ll work on it. But he does not work on it. I don’t feel as close to him when we don’t have sex and I don’t feel wanted. I don’t even want to initiate, not because I’m scared of being rejected but I don’t want to have sex with someone who doesn’t totally WANT me. I want someone that desires me. I think I know that this means I should probably end the relationship, because if it’s this bad and we haven’t even been together for two years I can’t imagine even further down the road, but I know I would miss him and his family and our friendship so so much, so it’s hard for me to walk away. How do I walk away?
submitted by SlowJunket8363 to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 15:31 Curious_Attitude_572 help!!!
last night i was talking to this girl on a dating app, long story short she got my insta and phone number and wanted to move to snapchat to sext, after her sending a pic i sent one to, she already had my face and created a post of my face and this pic. She wanted £200 and threatened to send it to all my insta followers so she sent me screenshots of her sending it to my followers, one of which was my friend who i asked if they received anything. They said they got a request and it had been deleted when they tried to look. i Didn’t give the money and contacted the police, delete my insta and blocked them on snapchat. This morning i haven’t got any messages saying people have seen them. Is it likely they’ve given up and moved on or still gonna send them? I’m scarred shitless…
submitted by Curious_Attitude_572 to Sextortion [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:39 Fit-Comfortable-6031 Easy way to track Samsung phone location? Can I track a Samsung phone that is powered off? Can I track a Samsung phone with another Samsung phone?
When you need to know where someone is right now, tracking their location should be your top priority. There are a variety of reasons why you might want to locate someone. For their protection and your own sanity, you may want to keep an eye on your kids and loved one
Simple Ways to Track a Samsung Phone Location?
You might have a bizarre purpose for following someone’s phone location. Whatever your motive for wanting to track someone’s position, you now have various possibilities. There are also numerous tools available that allow you to track a person’s position via their cell phone. In this article, we will discuss simple ways to track a Samsung Phone Location?
Did you know that Samsung is the world leader in digital technology, especially in terms of mobile phone sales in 2021? In the first two quarters, the business sold around 112.5 million units to end-users It’s no surprise, then, that your kids and loved one use their Samsung phones to socialize at all hours of the day and night.
Why and How to Track Your Child’s Samsung Phone
As previously said, kids and loved one can get into mischief even if they are in the room next door to you. Online predators utilize Tinder, Snapchat, Kik, and other apps to befriend young people because they enjoy spending time on social media and adding new friends to their accounts.
In most circumstances, maniacs don’t even need to pretend to be teenagers because kids and loved one are happy to engage with people of various ages.
Furthermore, if a new “friend” request it, they can sext strangers and share private content. When predators reveal their genuine identities and begin pushing kids and loved one to send more sexual images and videos, the pleasure comes to an end. Predators might pressure adolescents to meet up in person, so the online explosion frequently turns physical.
As a parent, you must be aware of what is going on in your kids and loved one life, both in the real world and online. If your kids and loved one is depressed but refuses to tell you about it, it’s a sign that they’re being bullied. Pressuring a kid and loved one to answer your inquiries can exacerbate the situation. As a result, you’ll need to use a different method to discover the truth, such as monitoring your kids and loved one online activity and tracing their locations.
Track a Samsung Phone Location Using NERDHACK SPY
You now know how to trace the position of your Samsung phone using NERDHACK. However, all techniques necessitate knowledge of your kids and loved one account details. That isn’t always possible, especially if your kids and loved one is the secretive type.
If you use a parental control app like NERDHACK SPY. Though, you won’t have to worry about accessing your kids and loved one personal account. With NERDHACK SPY, you can track your kids and loved one phone from your smartphone and establish geofencing if you’re worried about them going to locations they shouldn’t.
Contact us at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) for technical problems about your task or issue regarding hacking services.
You can receive access to a variety of valuable monitoring capabilities depending on your NERDHACK SPY, including:
Track a Samsung Phone Location Using NERDHACK SPY
Is there a faster way to locate your kids and loved one phone and learn where he is? There is, fortunately, so you might want to try NERDHACK SPY. It’s a useful application that allows you to track your kids and loved one location in just a few steps. What makes this one unique is that it will just take you two minutes!
Because this service works with all mobile network carriers, NERDHACK SPY is a phone tracker by number capable of tracking any phone’s position by its number.
Are you looking for a more feature-rich option to remotely track a Samsung Phone? Then you should consider using a parental control app like NERDHACK SPY to feel even safer
Samsung’s Find My Phone
If your kids and loved one possesses a Samsung and you need to locate them, you can use a Samsung-specific service. In the event that a phone is stolen, NERDHACK can help find it and secure the data on it. Furthermore, you can utilize the service to remotely unlock the phone.
Make sure the data backup feature on the target Samsung device is turned on before utilizing the service. If you’re not sure if your kids and loved one has switched it on, go to Settings, Lock Screen & Security, and Find My Mobile on their phone. If necessary, sign in and enable all of the options displayed on the screen.
Find My Mobile allows you to lock and unlock your kids and loved one cellphone remotely, erase and back up data, and retrieve calls and messages, in addition to discovering their whereabouts. The list of available interactions is determined by the Samsung phone model used by your kids and loved one.
Android’s Find My Device
Despite the fact that the majority of smartphone users use Samsung phones that run on Android, there are times when a device operates on a different operating system. Keep in mind that the Find My Device service only works for Android handsets if you wish to trace a Samsung.
Follow these steps to begin tracking a Samsung phone using this method:
Conclusion
As you can see, there are four safe and legal ways to keep an eye on your kids and loved one device as well as track down your Galaxy phone if it is lost or stolen. However, if you want to add a slew of useful monitoring tools to your parenting toolkit, we recommend [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) Your kids and loved one is unlikely to notice the app because it operates in stealth mode. Even if they do, you’ll know straight away and be able to reinstall it with ease.
For further information about Simple Ways to Track a Samsung Phone Location and other related hacking services, mail us on [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
submitted by Fit-Comfortable-6031 to u/Fit-Comfortable-6031 [link] [comments]
Simple Ways to Track a Samsung Phone Location?
You might have a bizarre purpose for following someone’s phone location. Whatever your motive for wanting to track someone’s position, you now have various possibilities. There are also numerous tools available that allow you to track a person’s position via their cell phone. In this article, we will discuss simple ways to track a Samsung Phone Location?
Did you know that Samsung is the world leader in digital technology, especially in terms of mobile phone sales in 2021? In the first two quarters, the business sold around 112.5 million units to end-users It’s no surprise, then, that your kids and loved one use their Samsung phones to socialize at all hours of the day and night.
- Why and How to Track Your Child’s Samsung Phone
- Simple Ways to Track a Samsung Phone Location?
- Track a Samsung Phone Location
- Track a Samsung Phone Location
- Samsung’s Find My Phone
- Android’s Find My Device
Why and How to Track Your Child’s Samsung Phone
As previously said, kids and loved one can get into mischief even if they are in the room next door to you. Online predators utilize Tinder, Snapchat, Kik, and other apps to befriend young people because they enjoy spending time on social media and adding new friends to their accounts.
In most circumstances, maniacs don’t even need to pretend to be teenagers because kids and loved one are happy to engage with people of various ages.
Furthermore, if a new “friend” request it, they can sext strangers and share private content. When predators reveal their genuine identities and begin pushing kids and loved one to send more sexual images and videos, the pleasure comes to an end. Predators might pressure adolescents to meet up in person, so the online explosion frequently turns physical.
As a parent, you must be aware of what is going on in your kids and loved one life, both in the real world and online. If your kids and loved one is depressed but refuses to tell you about it, it’s a sign that they’re being bullied. Pressuring a kid and loved one to answer your inquiries can exacerbate the situation. As a result, you’ll need to use a different method to discover the truth, such as monitoring your kids and loved one online activity and tracing their locations.
Track a Samsung Phone Location Using NERDHACK SPY
You now know how to trace the position of your Samsung phone using NERDHACK. However, all techniques necessitate knowledge of your kids and loved one account details. That isn’t always possible, especially if your kids and loved one is the secretive type.
If you use a parental control app like NERDHACK SPY. Though, you won’t have to worry about accessing your kids and loved one personal account. With NERDHACK SPY, you can track your kids and loved one phone from your smartphone and establish geofencing if you’re worried about them going to locations they shouldn’t.
Contact us at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) for technical problems about your task or issue regarding hacking services.
You can receive access to a variety of valuable monitoring capabilities depending on your NERDHACK SPY, including:
- Keeping track of incoming and outgoing calls
- Receiving, sending, and deleting text messages
- Snapchat, Facebook, Tinder, Kik, and other apps are being watched.
- Examining media files that have been delivered and received
- Viewing bookmarks and surfing history
- Seeing events and making notes on a calendar
Track a Samsung Phone Location Using NERDHACK SPY
Is there a faster way to locate your kids and loved one phone and learn where he is? There is, fortunately, so you might want to try NERDHACK SPY. It’s a useful application that allows you to track your kids and loved one location in just a few steps. What makes this one unique is that it will just take you two minutes!
Because this service works with all mobile network carriers, NERDHACK SPY is a phone tracker by number capable of tracking any phone’s position by its number.
Are you looking for a more feature-rich option to remotely track a Samsung Phone? Then you should consider using a parental control app like NERDHACK SPY to feel even safer
Samsung’s Find My Phone
If your kids and loved one possesses a Samsung and you need to locate them, you can use a Samsung-specific service. In the event that a phone is stolen, NERDHACK can help find it and secure the data on it. Furthermore, you can utilize the service to remotely unlock the phone.
Make sure the data backup feature on the target Samsung device is turned on before utilizing the service. If you’re not sure if your kids and loved one has switched it on, go to Settings, Lock Screen & Security, and Find My Mobile on their phone. If necessary, sign in and enable all of the options displayed on the screen.
Find My Mobile allows you to lock and unlock your kids and loved one cellphone remotely, erase and back up data, and retrieve calls and messages, in addition to discovering their whereabouts. The list of available interactions is determined by the Samsung phone model used by your kids and loved one.
Android’s Find My Device
Despite the fact that the majority of smartphone users use Samsung phones that run on Android, there are times when a device operates on a different operating system. Keep in mind that the Find My Device service only works for Android handsets if you wish to trace a Samsung.
Follow these steps to begin tracking a Samsung phone using this method:
- Go to [https://www.google.com/android/find](mailto:[email protected]) in your browser to find your device.
- Log into a target user’s Google account or enter the email and password that was used to register the monitored phone.
- Select the required device from the drop-down menu.
- Begin following the location.
Conclusion
As you can see, there are four safe and legal ways to keep an eye on your kids and loved one device as well as track down your Galaxy phone if it is lost or stolen. However, if you want to add a slew of useful monitoring tools to your parenting toolkit, we recommend [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) Your kids and loved one is unlikely to notice the app because it operates in stealth mode. Even if they do, you’ll know straight away and be able to reinstall it with ease.
For further information about Simple Ways to Track a Samsung Phone Location and other related hacking services, mail us on [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
2023.05.30 12:39 Own_Neat4654 I sexted with another dude and I feel guilty
So basically I was sexting with another guy about cute celebrities like Chris Evans because he's really cute but I did a terrible thing and I blocked the guy afterwards. I am a closeted gay dude and everyone I know is homophobic and I've been made to feel guilty over these things. Is what I did wrong? I did say sorry to the other guy, but I felt so bad over those impure thoughts, but I can't help it.😪
submitted by Own_Neat4654 to SexAddiction [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 11:55 Commercial-Ad-9326 I got sextorted
I got sextorted. I just got dumped by my girlfriend and felt depressed and started snapping with this girl that dm’ed me on instagram. Long story short we started sexting and i got pressured for money. I pretended to play along with them to send the money for about 8 mins to just stall them. Called the police meanwhile. The police told me not to pay them and just block them.
I blocked them on Snapchat and instagram and made my profile private on insta. It has been around 12 hours and haven’t got any messages that I have been leaked. Seems really unlikely to leak me now since they have no way to contact me anymore, so what’s the point to leak me right? I really hope that i don’t get leaked but if I were to get leaked then I just have to own it because the pictures of me were onlyfans material haha. Just trying to make light of the situation.. what do u guys think? Did I get lucky? Or should I live with my shoulders over my head for the next months? I appreciate any comments🙏🏻
submitted by Commercial-Ad-9326 to Sextortion [link] [comments]
I blocked them on Snapchat and instagram and made my profile private on insta. It has been around 12 hours and haven’t got any messages that I have been leaked. Seems really unlikely to leak me now since they have no way to contact me anymore, so what’s the point to leak me right? I really hope that i don’t get leaked but if I were to get leaked then I just have to own it because the pictures of me were onlyfans material haha. Just trying to make light of the situation.. what do u guys think? Did I get lucky? Or should I live with my shoulders over my head for the next months? I appreciate any comments🙏🏻
2023.05.30 11:11 ShinraBanshouman Help
Hi not sure if this is the right place to post this but this is my first time coming on here and I kinda have some weird shit to tell. So like a few months back I decided to make a private Snapchat story for all my favorite gay porn so I could share it with anyone else who cared. I didn’t really think when I was adding people to my story, just avoiding people I knew personally and I added a straight friend that I used to hang out with to it, not thinking much of it cuz I was never into him at all. Fast forward and everyone that didn’t want to be on that story left on their own, but the straight friend stayed! I was kinda surprised, thinking he’d leave with everyone else but no he watches all the stuff I post daily still…you don’t think there’s a chance he’s into the gay porn I’m posting? I never really thought much of him, but I was looking at pics of him since he didn’t leave my story and now I’m kinda crushing on him. He has never messaged me about any of the stuff I post. Closest interaction we had was his birthday was a week ago I said happy birthday he just gave me a heart react and that was it. Should I message him? I don’t know what id say honestly I’m a very anxious person and he’s not much for conversation either and he gets weirded out easily so I’m not sure how to approach this.
submitted by ShinraBanshouman to gay [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 07:57 lindababy_ 24 [F4M] Looking to sext for Snapchat:linda5x76
submitted by lindababy_ to snap4snap [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 06:10 Adept_Yak_5410 Ethan Schmidt: Screenshots Appear to Show Anti-LGBTQ+ Activist Sexting Men on Gay Dating App
| | submitted by Adept_Yak_5410 to u/Adept_Yak_5410 [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 05:38 Separate_Article_756 How do I get over my gay high school crush?
Throughout my life, I have crushed on both girls and guys. But I hadn’t had a crush like what I had when I was a teen boy, not quiet what I felt for this guy compared to all my girl crushes. I later discovered in life that this guy was in fact bisexual. He posted some video on his twitter making jokes about liking sucking dick which basically confirmed to me that I think he was gay or at least bisexual. In my mind I always couldn’t read the signals and kept going back and forth in mind asking if this dude was gay af, bi, or another straight dude. Well I am older now, and I have these regrets about never getting it with this guy I really liked. We were both bad closet cases and I was down bad for him. My approach and me being madly horny for him probably turned him off from me ultimately where I became seen as the school weirdo. That didn’t help my reputation of being the stupid weird goofball kid always skipping class who got himself into some delinquent and degenerate juvenile behavior and broke thousands of school rules. However, I’ve been thinking about my crush more so recently and it hurts. It was the hugest guy crush I ever had and the guy ended up outing me to the entire school back when I was in high school which caused me to have to move schools by going to college (it was that or dropping out of high school by being an early admissions college student) and I had a huge falling out that got bad and made me feel really depressed (honestly even borderline suicidal because of the fall out) and I lost my reputation in high school. I was the talk of my southern conservative school because I had an obsessive crush on the guy, fell hard and borderline stalked the guy, and asked the guy for nudes on Snapchat and basically revealed how I wanted to fuck him through an anon account because I was too afraid to share how I felt for him with my actual online identity. He still caught on and suspected it was me secretly because of all the times I ogled him in class. The guy however was my gay awakening. I realized how sexually attracted to guys I can be at that moment in classes with him. It just it’s been so many years and sometimes my mind still wanders and thinks about him, what could have been, all the times he sent me signals I misread as just a joke and all the times he teased me and I have these regrets. But I’m curious as to what you all do when you can’t get over a crush, especially one dating back to high school—a cute teen boy crush. It hurts thinking about how I could have been his little secret and him mine. Me being gay for him and him being bi or whatever he labeled himself as. All I know is I wanted him. I had fantasies about blowing this jocks dick, kissing his handsome face after blowing him as we exchanged cum between our lips, and the two of us just fucking. Sometimes I still follow his socials from time to time but I try not because then I’ll feel bad. Any recommendations you guys have for getting over a stupid high school crush? If anyone comments, I know my approach was bad. Mind you I was 15, horny little fucker and didn’t know better. I’m older now and I’ve grown up.
submitted by Separate_Article_756 to askgaybros [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 01:01 IronBobcatHax A quick update from me to you
Hello followers,
I'm sure a lot of people are going to be confused why it seems like there's four million different people posting under one alias, and well, that's me.
When I first started Reddit, I was really interested in PDA's, those old handhelds which were popular around the time I was born. Then, I switched over to posting a lot about being gay, in LGBTeens and some casual posts in teenagers.
Later, I would discover cryptocurrency, and especially nanocurrency and banano. I had good and bad times there, but overall it was fun being active in that community. But that wasn't the real me. I had real problems staying focused in school, and dealing with how much stress I put upon myself.
For me, schoolwork isn't really tough, and I guess I just make it hard for myself, since school is just boring. My parents are unsupportive of my programming interests, and for this entire year, I have been taking classes I don't even like.
From now on, if you are remembering me from a cryptocurrency community, I will no longer be active or following any of those communities. The reason is, I need to finish high school. I need to get into college and not fail all my classes (what's happening right now). One day, I will return happy as ever, when I've completed what a teen needs to do in my opinion, high school and college.
This doesn't mean I won't be on Reddit, in fact, I plan to use Reddit even more, to express the identity, that I'm gay, back into my world, so I can hopefully just be my genuine self again. Reddit has been THE social media for me. I never used Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, etc. Reddit let me write long-form content, I'm a writer by heart.
Thank you to everyone who's supported me for the 3 years of my Reddit existence, because I wouldn't have been able to do it without you. It is very hard to say goodbye to nanocurrency and banano, but at one point, I will return with a freshened mind and a less stressed me.
Thanks,
Aidan - u/ironbobcathax
submitted by IronBobcatHax to u/IronBobcatHax [link] [comments]
I'm sure a lot of people are going to be confused why it seems like there's four million different people posting under one alias, and well, that's me.
When I first started Reddit, I was really interested in PDA's, those old handhelds which were popular around the time I was born. Then, I switched over to posting a lot about being gay, in LGBTeens and some casual posts in teenagers.
Later, I would discover cryptocurrency, and especially nanocurrency and banano. I had good and bad times there, but overall it was fun being active in that community. But that wasn't the real me. I had real problems staying focused in school, and dealing with how much stress I put upon myself.
For me, schoolwork isn't really tough, and I guess I just make it hard for myself, since school is just boring. My parents are unsupportive of my programming interests, and for this entire year, I have been taking classes I don't even like.
From now on, if you are remembering me from a cryptocurrency community, I will no longer be active or following any of those communities. The reason is, I need to finish high school. I need to get into college and not fail all my classes (what's happening right now). One day, I will return happy as ever, when I've completed what a teen needs to do in my opinion, high school and college.
This doesn't mean I won't be on Reddit, in fact, I plan to use Reddit even more, to express the identity, that I'm gay, back into my world, so I can hopefully just be my genuine self again. Reddit has been THE social media for me. I never used Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, etc. Reddit let me write long-form content, I'm a writer by heart.
Thank you to everyone who's supported me for the 3 years of my Reddit existence, because I wouldn't have been able to do it without you. It is very hard to say goodbye to nanocurrency and banano, but at one point, I will return with a freshened mind and a less stressed me.
Thanks,
Aidan - u/ironbobcathax
2023.05.30 00:22 G00DKlDMAADCITY Don't go looking for things you don't want to find, and don't ask questions you don't really want the true answer to. Oh and always... ALWAYS trust your gut.
This might end up being fairly long and if so I apologize in advance but I hope this ends up being as cathartic as I’m hoping.
Let’s start at the beginning. I wasn’t a good husband... hell I probably wasn't even a good person. I was selfish, inattentive to her needs, hid a painkiller addiction for many years and a copious amount of other issues. I wasn’t perfect though neither was she. We were happy though and together for a decade. I’ll preface this by saying that I’m the most non-jealous person in the world. I don’t care what you do with your friends, where you do it, and when as long as your honest. For example let’s say one of her friends invited her to go out of town or to do something for a weekend, it was like “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go out of town with insert name here” and vice versa for me “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go hunting with insert name here”. All that being said, again, not jealous AT ALL, but after the divorce and subsequent relationship I think my trust with SO coworkers is irreparably damaged.
His name was Joe, I heard through some of her other coworker friends he had a crush on my wife. Whatever, she got cheated on with her first love and couldn’t even watch movies or shows where someone cheats it would make her so angry. So I never thought twice about her going out with her coworkers. Now again, let me say I was not a good husband towards the end, and it took a long time and a lot of hurt and anger had to be let go to where I finally realized that I don’t fault her for finding solace in the arms of another, because she was a damn good wife, a damn good mother, and an even better husband. And she deserved better. I relapsed after an incredibly awful start to 2018. I went and stayed at my moms and had to go over to the house to get some things. Her and my daughter were gone somewhere but her Apple Watch was there. My gut told me what I already knew, and what I knew was that I shouldn't look through it knowing what I would find. What did I find? That she was filing for divorce the next week and plenty of messages to Joe. I knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up together. Can you guess what happened? I had a decent amount of money saved up so I took a sabbatical from work that ended extending to almost two years
December 2018, Christmas morning. I had a plan, it was foolproof. I was going to facetime my daughter in the morning to tell her how much I loved her and missed her and had a very merry Christmas... and then I was going to go in my backyard and blow my brains out. So thats what I did. I called her, talked to her as best you can to a three year old in the midst of a post present high with her cousins there too. Then I walked out in my backyard with my favorite rifle and sat there. And sat there. And sat there. For six hours. I cried, I wept... I wept for me, for my kid who was going to grow up without her daddy. I wept for my ex-wife who was going to have to explain to my daughter why she wouldn't be able to see her daddy again. I wept for my family and the pain I was about to cause them I begged and screamed to God. That if they were real and I was meant for things in this life that they would show me a fucking sign. Show me ANYTHING that would show me whether this drastic choice would be the right one... or the wrong. For six hours in the freezing cold. Never did get an answer that I could recognize as one. But the thought of my kid calling the person my wife had AT LEAST an emotional affair with, "Dad" made me sick... and made me want to live.
I decided to check into rehab, not for drugs, but so I didn't kill myself. Ive always kind of been a natural leader. I don't know why or what it is about me but people tend to flock towards me and have really either one or two reactions. They either really like me, or they really fucking hate me. Here though everyone really liked me and I was put in charge of running the meetings held there and trying to keep morale of the folks there. And it was a great fucking time. It was a month vacation in a really nice area of the state, I didn't have a phone, only my guitar and the resolve to work through my emotions in a safe place the best way I know how, by writing songs about it. Which is exactly what I did both in the classes, AA Meetings, out of class, didn't matter I was just knocking out song after song. I met a kid in there with a killer voice and a guy around my age who actually was the lead singesongwriter for a local band I was a fan of so it ended up being a really enjoyable experience.. The kid though... he got murdered last year from a drug deal gone wrong. Shot in a car and left to die in the parking lot. I think about him almost every day.
What did I learn? I learned that I shouldn't go looking for things I don't want to find, or ask questions that I really want the true answer to. Or so I thought.
I met K in December 2020 on Hinge. I wasn't sure I was really over my ex wife but then when we met it was love at first sight. And for a guy that didn't think he was ever going to love anyone again it was a major deal. She felt the same it seemed, though I now realize it was probably more of a trauma bond/rebound type situation. Things went really well for the honeymoon phase, it was like we couldn't get enough of each other. She was a cheer coach/art teacher, it was new, it was exciting, the sex was great.. she was great... She had some pretty serious insecurities and abandonment issues though. Her mom dropped her off with what ended up being her adoptive family only to come back a few years later and take her away for a few months, then bring her back and drop her off again. She self sabotages and destroys anything good in her life for fear or being hurt and left by someone again. And she only dated guys that controlled her, treated her like shit, stole from her, etc etc. She took xanax and ambien which when it would kick in at first it seemed she was still cognizant. One night when I was staying over there she had taken it and asked me to look something up in her phone. As soon as I open it I see a text to a coach at the school she taught at that was just really inappropriate shit that made me feel uncomfortable, especially since he was married. I asked her about it when she off work the next day and she just downplayed it as they are wont to do. I let it go but its something I thought of often, especially after it ended.
We moved in together in August of 21. I helped her get a job at a school over on my side of town so we got a really nice apartment close to her work and not far from mine. Thats when things started to change. I'll never forget we were laying in bed on a Friday afternoon, I was about to go pick up my kid. I rolled over towards her side and propped myself up and looked at her for a second and thought how lucky am I, and so thats what I said out loud to her. Its like she recoiled like she got bit by a snake, bolted out of bed and said I was being clingy and essentially ran out the door where she ended up back on the other side of town and had dinner with a gay guy friend. I really didn't know what to do or how to take it so when I picked my kid up I took her over to my moms house and we stayed there until K called and asked me to come home so we could talk. I left my kid with my mom and went over there and she apologized and reiterated how she feels in relationships, the fear of being left, how independent she had to be because of her upbringing and a few other things.
Not long after that she forwarded me an email, I'm not even sure what she meant to send me if she even meant it to send to me because I never got around to asking. It was an email thread with the coach where she said "guess what?", "What? You're gonna have my baby?" "No I got Covid!". I confronted her about it, told her how it made me feel, and while she never really responded to it in a way that made me worry I still strongly disliked it and let her know that. Not long after that as we were laying in bed I saw she was texting someone exceptionally long paragraphs, you know the type, the type when you're first talking to someone and are explaining things about yourself to them? I'll spare the long part but come to find out shes found a new coach to have what appears to be an emotional affair with. Though come to find out this one ended up being physical. She broke up with me in January 22. Told me while I showed her love in a way she didn't know was possible, and treated her in a way nobody had ever treated her before that I was too good for her and deserved better. I tried to change her mind, lord knows I tried, I was madly in love. My kid was in love with her. We talked about a future I never thought possible after my divorce.
I moved out of the apartment and back to my moms until I could find a place. We talked occasionally and I spent so much time reading this sub and others. Posts about how to get her back, how to make her miss me, what to do and what not to do. When my work sabbatical ended I got my old job back. Its a great job, ridiculously easy and the amount of work I actually do compared to my compensation should be illegal. She lost her cheer stipend when we moved back to my side of town since she didn't coach and since we got the apt together I knew what her funds looked like. We got that place because we could afford it together, alone I knew she was going to struggle. And I still wanted her back... what better way to show her that and try to manifest it by just being there for her when she needed me? Little did I know that would be the only time she asked me anything. Only when she needed help, or was having an anxiety attack and needed someone to talk her off the ledge and tell her everything was going to be okay. It was never her asking how I was doing, or my kid, or my dog, or what was going on in my life. Everyone told me what my gut had already told me but I lied to myself over and over. Not long after all this happened I found out she had been seeing the new coach at the new school though she still won't admit it even up to... checks notes today.
March 23 I get my first really big commission check I gave her 10k and we paid off her credit card, some other debt she had, some missed car payments and other bill help. Not long after that she tells me shes going to a cabin nearby where shes from with her sisters and nieces/nephews and asks me to watch her dog which I miss just as much as her so I do it. Mind you previous to this we went through a rough spot and she had blocked me on IG and never unblocked me. One of my cousins still followed her though, she hits me on snapchat saying "oh wow K looks amazing" I say "Oh yeah, does the cabin look nice?" She said "Cabin? Looks like shes at the beach" and sends me a screenshot of her IG post. I do my best FBI investigation and zoom in on her glasses, it appears to be a guy taking the picture based on the reflection from the frames and I kind of have an idea who I think it could be, come to find out, we'll call him JMJ also happens to be in Florida at the same time. So I call her out and tell her she needs to find someone to come get her dog and I'm done with her and her lies. She tells me "Oh my mom and dad are traveling across the country in their RV (WHICH THEY WERE) and so when you sent me that extra money after we paid the bills my sister and I decided to fly to Florida to spend some time with them on Spring Break"
She then breaks down and tells me how shes ruined the relationship with the last genuine person in her life and that when she gets back she'll get her dog and I'll never hear from her again. Master manipulator and while shes an amazing liar to someone who wants with every fiber of his being to believe him, is awful at hiding her lies. What do I do? Well I'm a fucking idiot so you can already imagine what I did. I begged her for once to just be honest with me. For once in our entire two years going back and forth that if she ever did truly love me or respect me for things I did for her that she would be honest. She told shes not dating anyone and doesn't have a boyfriend and that nothing has changed. I told her that even if she was seeing someone and told me about it I would help her out one last time only because I had committed to it. I told myself I was doing it for altruistic reasons, that because of all her issues that if I can do for her what I said I would do for her and that would help her out in her future relationships to show her that not everybody is it out to just fuck her and leave her, that when some people tell you they'll do something for you they mean it and she stops self sabotaging then I did my part.
A couple weeks ago was her 30th birthday. I see if she wants to grab dinner but she says one of her girl teacher friends is taking her to dinner in the galleria area. Check the guys IG story via an anonymous viewer and guess who happens to be at a restaurant in the galleria area? I don't even call her out because at this point Im making a plan. I get another rather large check in July and so we had previously talked about paying off the rest of her debt. She tells me shes going to her parents house for MDW and then that shes going out of town today with one of her old friends to New Orleans. This is when I realize just whats about to happen. Im about to have the answer to the question I thought I was dying to know the answer to. I told myself if he posts an IG story today where hes traveling, there is 0% chance that shes not with him. The first thing I see when I open IG is he posted a story... in Cancun. Then the next picture I see... her phone on the table next to him. Bingo. Send her an email saying "Hey I hope you have fun in Cancun!" and that was it. Almost immediately she texts me asking how I know and figured it out and I just saw red. I immediately opened up IG and sent him a message with texts, receipts, bank transfers, her telling me that she still loves me and we can go take a trip this summer, how many times shes asked me for money and help and the lies shes told me about him. She asks me to stop messaging him and I say that shes forever lost the option to ask ANYTHING of me but realize what Im doing is not the right thing and is hella immature so I send her another email saying I'm sorry and out of respect for her I wont say anything else to him.
Then he sends me a message on IG asking to elaborate more and then told me she told him I owed her a lot of money... I asked how much and for what and he said $2k for bills when we first got together. Thats when I sent him an entire list of all bank transactions through our bank and Apple Pay. Just digital alone, $18.647.00 over the last six months plus another $12,460.00 in cash over the last eight months. Then I realized just how little better this made me feel. In fact I thought I would feel triumphant, and ready to move on and finally be over her and start to heal. Knowing full damn and well keeping her around and helping her was keeping me from being able to heal and move on. I sent her another message telling her I was taking the last part of her birthday gift to her apartment and leaving it in the ottoman outside her door and that because I had already accounted for and mentally prepared for giving her money in July that I still would then I blocked and removed her from IG and anything else that would open up an avenue for contact.
Here we are. Starting NC again... a year and a half after we broke up all because I thought I needed the answers to what I didn't want to find out or know. And that yet again, my gut has yet to lie to me in regards to relationships. What is wrong with me? Why even after all of this do I still want her in my life and want her back? If she called me tomorrow needing help I'd probably still do it. How do I fix myself? I've gotten an entire new wardrobe, an entire home gym so I quit blaming my depression for why I didn't go to the gym, and have tried really hard to focus on myself yet I know deep down everything I'm doing, I'm still doing for hopes of her. I lied to myself and clouded my own gut and mind to listen to my heart when I knew what I already knew yet still felt the need to confirm it.
Its not worth it. IT. IS.NOT. WORTH. IT. Keep that door closed if you don't want to know whats on the other side. Don't open that book if you don't want to see whats written on that last page. If your gut is telling you something, its probably right. Listen to it. When your friends and family are telling you the same thing your gut is telling you, listen to them. Even if its killing you, even if its the last thing you want to do, even if its going to break your heart again and reopen any wounds for you to bleed out again it has to be done. Don't be like me. Don't prolong your suffering for a year and a half for hope that you know isn't going to shake out in your way regardless of what the other person might be telling you.
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Let’s start at the beginning. I wasn’t a good husband... hell I probably wasn't even a good person. I was selfish, inattentive to her needs, hid a painkiller addiction for many years and a copious amount of other issues. I wasn’t perfect though neither was she. We were happy though and together for a decade. I’ll preface this by saying that I’m the most non-jealous person in the world. I don’t care what you do with your friends, where you do it, and when as long as your honest. For example let’s say one of her friends invited her to go out of town or to do something for a weekend, it was like “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go out of town with insert name here” and vice versa for me “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go hunting with insert name here”. All that being said, again, not jealous AT ALL, but after the divorce and subsequent relationship I think my trust with SO coworkers is irreparably damaged.
His name was Joe, I heard through some of her other coworker friends he had a crush on my wife. Whatever, she got cheated on with her first love and couldn’t even watch movies or shows where someone cheats it would make her so angry. So I never thought twice about her going out with her coworkers. Now again, let me say I was not a good husband towards the end, and it took a long time and a lot of hurt and anger had to be let go to where I finally realized that I don’t fault her for finding solace in the arms of another, because she was a damn good wife, a damn good mother, and an even better husband. And she deserved better. I relapsed after an incredibly awful start to 2018. I went and stayed at my moms and had to go over to the house to get some things. Her and my daughter were gone somewhere but her Apple Watch was there. My gut told me what I already knew, and what I knew was that I shouldn't look through it knowing what I would find. What did I find? That she was filing for divorce the next week and plenty of messages to Joe. I knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up together. Can you guess what happened? I had a decent amount of money saved up so I took a sabbatical from work that ended extending to almost two years
December 2018, Christmas morning. I had a plan, it was foolproof. I was going to facetime my daughter in the morning to tell her how much I loved her and missed her and had a very merry Christmas... and then I was going to go in my backyard and blow my brains out. So thats what I did. I called her, talked to her as best you can to a three year old in the midst of a post present high with her cousins there too. Then I walked out in my backyard with my favorite rifle and sat there. And sat there. And sat there. For six hours. I cried, I wept... I wept for me, for my kid who was going to grow up without her daddy. I wept for my ex-wife who was going to have to explain to my daughter why she wouldn't be able to see her daddy again. I wept for my family and the pain I was about to cause them I begged and screamed to God. That if they were real and I was meant for things in this life that they would show me a fucking sign. Show me ANYTHING that would show me whether this drastic choice would be the right one... or the wrong. For six hours in the freezing cold. Never did get an answer that I could recognize as one. But the thought of my kid calling the person my wife had AT LEAST an emotional affair with, "Dad" made me sick... and made me want to live.
I decided to check into rehab, not for drugs, but so I didn't kill myself. Ive always kind of been a natural leader. I don't know why or what it is about me but people tend to flock towards me and have really either one or two reactions. They either really like me, or they really fucking hate me. Here though everyone really liked me and I was put in charge of running the meetings held there and trying to keep morale of the folks there. And it was a great fucking time. It was a month vacation in a really nice area of the state, I didn't have a phone, only my guitar and the resolve to work through my emotions in a safe place the best way I know how, by writing songs about it. Which is exactly what I did both in the classes, AA Meetings, out of class, didn't matter I was just knocking out song after song. I met a kid in there with a killer voice and a guy around my age who actually was the lead singesongwriter for a local band I was a fan of so it ended up being a really enjoyable experience.. The kid though... he got murdered last year from a drug deal gone wrong. Shot in a car and left to die in the parking lot. I think about him almost every day.
What did I learn? I learned that I shouldn't go looking for things I don't want to find, or ask questions that I really want the true answer to. Or so I thought.
I met K in December 2020 on Hinge. I wasn't sure I was really over my ex wife but then when we met it was love at first sight. And for a guy that didn't think he was ever going to love anyone again it was a major deal. She felt the same it seemed, though I now realize it was probably more of a trauma bond/rebound type situation. Things went really well for the honeymoon phase, it was like we couldn't get enough of each other. She was a cheer coach/art teacher, it was new, it was exciting, the sex was great.. she was great... She had some pretty serious insecurities and abandonment issues though. Her mom dropped her off with what ended up being her adoptive family only to come back a few years later and take her away for a few months, then bring her back and drop her off again. She self sabotages and destroys anything good in her life for fear or being hurt and left by someone again. And she only dated guys that controlled her, treated her like shit, stole from her, etc etc. She took xanax and ambien which when it would kick in at first it seemed she was still cognizant. One night when I was staying over there she had taken it and asked me to look something up in her phone. As soon as I open it I see a text to a coach at the school she taught at that was just really inappropriate shit that made me feel uncomfortable, especially since he was married. I asked her about it when she off work the next day and she just downplayed it as they are wont to do. I let it go but its something I thought of often, especially after it ended.
We moved in together in August of 21. I helped her get a job at a school over on my side of town so we got a really nice apartment close to her work and not far from mine. Thats when things started to change. I'll never forget we were laying in bed on a Friday afternoon, I was about to go pick up my kid. I rolled over towards her side and propped myself up and looked at her for a second and thought how lucky am I, and so thats what I said out loud to her. Its like she recoiled like she got bit by a snake, bolted out of bed and said I was being clingy and essentially ran out the door where she ended up back on the other side of town and had dinner with a gay guy friend. I really didn't know what to do or how to take it so when I picked my kid up I took her over to my moms house and we stayed there until K called and asked me to come home so we could talk. I left my kid with my mom and went over there and she apologized and reiterated how she feels in relationships, the fear of being left, how independent she had to be because of her upbringing and a few other things.
Not long after that she forwarded me an email, I'm not even sure what she meant to send me if she even meant it to send to me because I never got around to asking. It was an email thread with the coach where she said "guess what?", "What? You're gonna have my baby?" "No I got Covid!". I confronted her about it, told her how it made me feel, and while she never really responded to it in a way that made me worry I still strongly disliked it and let her know that. Not long after that as we were laying in bed I saw she was texting someone exceptionally long paragraphs, you know the type, the type when you're first talking to someone and are explaining things about yourself to them? I'll spare the long part but come to find out shes found a new coach to have what appears to be an emotional affair with. Though come to find out this one ended up being physical. She broke up with me in January 22. Told me while I showed her love in a way she didn't know was possible, and treated her in a way nobody had ever treated her before that I was too good for her and deserved better. I tried to change her mind, lord knows I tried, I was madly in love. My kid was in love with her. We talked about a future I never thought possible after my divorce.
I moved out of the apartment and back to my moms until I could find a place. We talked occasionally and I spent so much time reading this sub and others. Posts about how to get her back, how to make her miss me, what to do and what not to do. When my work sabbatical ended I got my old job back. Its a great job, ridiculously easy and the amount of work I actually do compared to my compensation should be illegal. She lost her cheer stipend when we moved back to my side of town since she didn't coach and since we got the apt together I knew what her funds looked like. We got that place because we could afford it together, alone I knew she was going to struggle. And I still wanted her back... what better way to show her that and try to manifest it by just being there for her when she needed me? Little did I know that would be the only time she asked me anything. Only when she needed help, or was having an anxiety attack and needed someone to talk her off the ledge and tell her everything was going to be okay. It was never her asking how I was doing, or my kid, or my dog, or what was going on in my life. Everyone told me what my gut had already told me but I lied to myself over and over. Not long after all this happened I found out she had been seeing the new coach at the new school though she still won't admit it even up to... checks notes today.
March 23 I get my first really big commission check I gave her 10k and we paid off her credit card, some other debt she had, some missed car payments and other bill help. Not long after that she tells me shes going to a cabin nearby where shes from with her sisters and nieces/nephews and asks me to watch her dog which I miss just as much as her so I do it. Mind you previous to this we went through a rough spot and she had blocked me on IG and never unblocked me. One of my cousins still followed her though, she hits me on snapchat saying "oh wow K looks amazing" I say "Oh yeah, does the cabin look nice?" She said "Cabin? Looks like shes at the beach" and sends me a screenshot of her IG post. I do my best FBI investigation and zoom in on her glasses, it appears to be a guy taking the picture based on the reflection from the frames and I kind of have an idea who I think it could be, come to find out, we'll call him JMJ also happens to be in Florida at the same time. So I call her out and tell her she needs to find someone to come get her dog and I'm done with her and her lies. She tells me "Oh my mom and dad are traveling across the country in their RV (WHICH THEY WERE) and so when you sent me that extra money after we paid the bills my sister and I decided to fly to Florida to spend some time with them on Spring Break"
She then breaks down and tells me how shes ruined the relationship with the last genuine person in her life and that when she gets back she'll get her dog and I'll never hear from her again. Master manipulator and while shes an amazing liar to someone who wants with every fiber of his being to believe him, is awful at hiding her lies. What do I do? Well I'm a fucking idiot so you can already imagine what I did. I begged her for once to just be honest with me. For once in our entire two years going back and forth that if she ever did truly love me or respect me for things I did for her that she would be honest. She told shes not dating anyone and doesn't have a boyfriend and that nothing has changed. I told her that even if she was seeing someone and told me about it I would help her out one last time only because I had committed to it. I told myself I was doing it for altruistic reasons, that because of all her issues that if I can do for her what I said I would do for her and that would help her out in her future relationships to show her that not everybody is it out to just fuck her and leave her, that when some people tell you they'll do something for you they mean it and she stops self sabotaging then I did my part.
A couple weeks ago was her 30th birthday. I see if she wants to grab dinner but she says one of her girl teacher friends is taking her to dinner in the galleria area. Check the guys IG story via an anonymous viewer and guess who happens to be at a restaurant in the galleria area? I don't even call her out because at this point Im making a plan. I get another rather large check in July and so we had previously talked about paying off the rest of her debt. She tells me shes going to her parents house for MDW and then that shes going out of town today with one of her old friends to New Orleans. This is when I realize just whats about to happen. Im about to have the answer to the question I thought I was dying to know the answer to. I told myself if he posts an IG story today where hes traveling, there is 0% chance that shes not with him. The first thing I see when I open IG is he posted a story... in Cancun. Then the next picture I see... her phone on the table next to him. Bingo. Send her an email saying "Hey I hope you have fun in Cancun!" and that was it. Almost immediately she texts me asking how I know and figured it out and I just saw red. I immediately opened up IG and sent him a message with texts, receipts, bank transfers, her telling me that she still loves me and we can go take a trip this summer, how many times shes asked me for money and help and the lies shes told me about him. She asks me to stop messaging him and I say that shes forever lost the option to ask ANYTHING of me but realize what Im doing is not the right thing and is hella immature so I send her another email saying I'm sorry and out of respect for her I wont say anything else to him.
Then he sends me a message on IG asking to elaborate more and then told me she told him I owed her a lot of money... I asked how much and for what and he said $2k for bills when we first got together. Thats when I sent him an entire list of all bank transactions through our bank and Apple Pay. Just digital alone, $18.647.00 over the last six months plus another $12,460.00 in cash over the last eight months. Then I realized just how little better this made me feel. In fact I thought I would feel triumphant, and ready to move on and finally be over her and start to heal. Knowing full damn and well keeping her around and helping her was keeping me from being able to heal and move on. I sent her another message telling her I was taking the last part of her birthday gift to her apartment and leaving it in the ottoman outside her door and that because I had already accounted for and mentally prepared for giving her money in July that I still would then I blocked and removed her from IG and anything else that would open up an avenue for contact.
Here we are. Starting NC again... a year and a half after we broke up all because I thought I needed the answers to what I didn't want to find out or know. And that yet again, my gut has yet to lie to me in regards to relationships. What is wrong with me? Why even after all of this do I still want her in my life and want her back? If she called me tomorrow needing help I'd probably still do it. How do I fix myself? I've gotten an entire new wardrobe, an entire home gym so I quit blaming my depression for why I didn't go to the gym, and have tried really hard to focus on myself yet I know deep down everything I'm doing, I'm still doing for hopes of her. I lied to myself and clouded my own gut and mind to listen to my heart when I knew what I already knew yet still felt the need to confirm it.
Its not worth it. IT. IS.NOT. WORTH. IT. Keep that door closed if you don't want to know whats on the other side. Don't open that book if you don't want to see whats written on that last page. If your gut is telling you something, its probably right. Listen to it. When your friends and family are telling you the same thing your gut is telling you, listen to them. Even if its killing you, even if its the last thing you want to do, even if its going to break your heart again and reopen any wounds for you to bleed out again it has to be done. Don't be like me. Don't prolong your suffering for a year and a half for hope that you know isn't going to shake out in your way regardless of what the other person might be telling you.
2023.05.30 00:21 G00DKlDMAADCITY Don't go looking for things you don't want to find, and don't ask questions you don't really want the true answer to. Oh and always... ALWAYS trust your gut.
This might end up being fairly long and if so I apologize in advance but I hope this ends up being as cathartic as I’m hoping.
Let’s start at the beginning. I wasn’t a good husband... hell I probably wasn't even a good person. I was selfish, inattentive to her needs, hid a painkiller addiction for many years and a copious amount of other issues. I wasn’t perfect though neither was she. We were happy though and together for a decade. I’ll preface this by saying that I’m the most non-jealous person in the world. I don’t care what you do with your friends, where you do it, and when as long as your honest. For example let’s say one of her friends invited her to go out of town or to do something for a weekend, it was like “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go out of town with insert name here” and vice versa for me “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go hunting with insert name here”. All that being said, again, not jealous AT ALL, but after the divorce and subsequent relationship I think my trust with SO coworkers is irreparably damaged.
His name was Joe, I heard through some of her other coworker friends he had a crush on my wife. Whatever, she got cheated on with her first love and couldn’t even watch movies or shows where someone cheats it would make her so angry. So I never thought twice about her going out with her coworkers. Now again, let me say I was not a good husband towards the end, and it took a long time and a lot of hurt and anger had to be let go to where I finally realized that I don’t fault her for finding solace in the arms of another, because she was a damn good wife, a damn good mother, and an even better person. And she deserved better. I relapsed after an incredibly awful start to 2018. I went and stayed at my moms and had to go over to the house to get some things. Her and my daughter were gone somewhere but her Apple Watch was there. My gut told me what I already knew, and what I knew was that I shouldn't look through it knowing what I would find. What did I find? That she was filing for divorce the next week and plenty of messages to Joe. I knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up together. Can you guess what happened? I had a decent amount of money saved up so I took a sabbatical from work that ended extending to almost two years
December 2018, Christmas morning. I had a plan, it was foolproof. I was going to facetime my daughter in the morning to tell her how much I loved her and missed her and had a very merry Christmas... and then I was going to go in my backyard and blow my brains out. So thats what I did. I called her, talked to her as best you can to a three year old in the midst of a post present high with her cousins there too. Then I walked out in my backyard with my favorite rifle and sat there. And sat there. And sat there. For six hours. I cried, I wept... I wept for me, for my kid who was going to grow up without her daddy. I wept for my ex-wife who was going to have to explain to my daughter why she wouldn't be able to see her daddy again. I wept for my family and the pain I was about to cause them I begged and screamed to God. That if they were real and I was meant for things in this life that they would show me a fucking sign. Show me ANYTHING that would show me whether this drastic choice would be the right one... or the wrong. For six hours in the freezing cold. Never did get an answer that I could recognize as one. But the thought of my kid calling the person my wife had AT LEAST an emotional affair with, "Dad" made me sick... and made me want to live.
I decided to check into rehab, not for drugs, but so I didn't kill myself. Ive always kind of been a natural leader. I don't know why or what it is about me but people tend to flock towards me and have really either one or two reactions. They either really like me, or they really fucking hate me. Here though everyone really liked me and I was put in charge of running the meetings held there and trying to keep morale of the folks there. And it was a great fucking time. It was a month vacation in a really nice area of the state, I didn't have a phone, only my guitar and the resolve to work through my emotions in a safe place the best way I know how, by writing songs about it. Which is exactly what I did both in the classes, AA Meetings, out of class, didn't matter I was just knocking out song after song. I met a kid in there with a killer voice and a guy around my age who actually was the lead singesongwriter for a local band I was a fan of so it ended up being a really enjoyable experience.. The kid though... he got murdered last year from a drug deal gone wrong. Shot in a car and left to die in the parking lot. I think about him almost every day.
What did I learn? I learned that I shouldn't go looking for things I don't want to find, or ask questions that I really want the true answer to. Or so I thought.
I met K in December 2020 on Hinge. I wasn't sure I was really over my ex wife but then when we met it was love at first sight. And for a guy that didn't think he was ever going to love anyone again it was a major deal. She felt the same it seemed, though I now realize it was probably more of a trauma bond/rebound type situation. Things went really well for the honeymoon phase, it was like we couldn't get enough of each other. She was a cheer coach/art teacher, it was new, it was exciting, the sex was great.. she was great... She had some pretty serious insecurities and abandonment issues though. Her mom dropped her off with what ended up being her adoptive family only to come back a few years later and take her away for a few months, then bring her back and drop her off again. She self sabotages and destroys anything good in her life for fear or being hurt and left by someone again. And she only dated guys that controlled her, treated her like shit, stole from her, etc etc. She took xanax and ambien which when it would kick in at first it seemed she was still cognizant. One night when I was staying over there she had taken it and asked me to look something up in her phone. As soon as I open it I see a text to a coach at the school she taught at that was just really inappropriate shit that made me feel uncomfortable, especially since he was married. I asked her about it when she off work the next day and she just downplayed it as they are wont to do. I let it go but its something I thought of often, especially after it ended.
We moved in together in August of 21. I helped her get a job at a school over on my side of town so we got a really nice apartment close to her work and not far from mine. Thats when things started to change. I'll never forget we were laying in bed on a Friday afternoon, I was about to go pick up my kid. I rolled over towards her side and propped myself up and looked at her for a second and thought how lucky am I, and so thats what I said out loud to her. Its like she recoiled like she got bit by a snake, bolted out of bed and said I was being clingy and essentially ran out the door where she ended up back on the other side of town and had dinner with a gay guy friend. I really didn't know what to do or how to take it so when I picked my kid up I took her over to my moms house and we stayed there until K called and asked me to come home so we could talk. I left my kid with my mom and went over there and she apologized and reiterated how she feels in relationships, the fear of being left, how independent she had to be because of her upbringing and a few other things.
Not long after that she forwarded me an email, I'm not even sure what she meant to send me if she even meant it to send to me because I never got around to asking. It was an email thread with the coach where she said "guess what?", "What? You're gonna have my baby?" "No I got Covid!". I confronted her about it, told her how it made me feel, and while she never really responded to it in a way that made me worry I still strongly disliked it and let her know that. Not long after that as we were laying in bed I saw she was texting someone exceptionally long paragraphs, you know the type, the type when you're first talking to someone and are explaining things about yourself to them? I'll spare the long part but come to find out shes found a new coach to have what appears to be an emotional affair with. Though come to find out this one ended up being physical. She broke up with me in January 22. Told me while I showed her love in a way she didn't know was possible, and treated her in a way nobody had ever treated her before that I was too good for her and deserved better. I tried to change her mind, lord knows I tried, I was madly in love. My kid was in love with her. We talked about a future I never thought possible after my divorce.
I moved out of the apartment and back to my moms until I could find a place. We talked occasionally and I spent so much time reading this sub and others. Posts about how to get her back, how to make her miss me, what to do and what not to do. When my work sabbatical ended I got my old job back. Its a great job, ridiculously easy and the amount of work I actually do compared to my compensation should be illegal. She lost her cheer stipend when we moved back to my side of town since she didn't coach and since we got the apt together I knew what her funds looked like. We got that place because we could afford it together, alone I knew she was going to struggle. And I still wanted her back... what better way to show her that and try to manifest it by just being there for her when she needed me? Little did I know that would be the only time she asked me anything. Only when she needed help, or was having an anxiety attack and needed someone to talk her off the ledge and tell her everything was going to be okay. It was never her asking how I was doing, or my kid, or my dog, or what was going on in my life. Everyone told me what my gut had already told me but I lied to myself over and over. Not long after all this happened I found out she had been seeing the new coach at the new school though she still won't admit it even up to... checks notes today.
March 23 I get my first really big commission check I gave her 10k and we paid off her credit card, some other debt she had, some missed car payments and other bill help. Not long after that she tells me shes going to a cabin nearby where shes from with her sisters and nieces/nephews and asks me to watch her dog which I miss just as much as her so I do it. Mind you previous to this we went through a rough spot and she had blocked me on IG and never unblocked me. One of my cousins still followed her though, she hits me on snapchat saying "oh wow K looks amazing" I say "Oh yeah, does the cabin look nice?" She said "Cabin? Looks like shes at the beach" and sends me a screenshot of her IG post. I do my best FBI investigation and zoom in on her glasses, it appears to be a guy taking the picture based on the reflection from the frames and I kind of have an idea who I think it could be, come to find out, we'll call him JMJ also happens to be in Florida at the same time. So I call her out and tell her she needs to find someone to come get her dog and I'm done with her and her lies. She tells me "Oh my mom and dad are traveling across the country in their RV (WHICH THEY WERE) and so when you sent me that extra money after we paid the bills my sister and I decided to fly to Florida to spend some time with them on Spring Break"
She then breaks down and tells me how shes ruined the relationship with the last genuine person in her life and that when she gets back she'll get her dog and I'll never hear from her again. Master manipulator and while shes an amazing liar to someone who wants with every fiber of his being to believe him, is awful at hiding her lies. What do I do? Well I'm a fucking idiot so you can already imagine what I did. I begged her for once to just be honest with me. For once in our entire two years going back and forth that if she ever did truly love me or respect me for things I did for her that she would be honest. She told shes not dating anyone and doesn't have a boyfriend and that nothing has changed. I told her that even if she was seeing someone and told me about it I would help her out one last time only because I had committed to it. I told myself I was doing it for altruistic reasons, that because of all her issues that if I can do for her what I said I would do for her and that would help her out in her future relationships to show her that not everybody is it out to just fuck her and leave her, that when some people tell you they'll do something for you they mean it and she stops self sabotaging then I did my part.
A couple weeks ago was her 30th birthday. I see if she wants to grab dinner but she says one of her girl teacher friends is taking her to dinner in the galleria area. Check the guys IG story via an anonymous viewer and guess who happens to be at a restaurant in the galleria area? I don't even call her out because at this point Im making a plan. I get another rather large check in July and so we had previously talked about paying off the rest of her debt. She tells me shes going to her parents house for MDW and then that shes going out of town today with one of her old friends to New Orleans. This is when I realize just whats about to happen. Im about to have the answer to the question I thought I was dying to know the answer to. I told myself if he posts an IG story today where hes traveling, there is 0% chance that shes not with him. The first thing I see when I open IG is he posted a story... in Cancun. Then the next picture I see... her phone on the table next to him. Bingo. Send her an email saying "Hey I hope you have fun in Cancun!" and that was it. Almost immediately she texts me asking how I know and figured it out and I just saw red. I immediately opened up IG and sent him a message with texts, receipts, bank transfers, her telling me that she still loves me and we can go take a trip this summer, how many times shes asked me for money and help and the lies shes told me about him. She asks me to stop messaging him and I say that shes forever lost the option to ask ANYTHING of me but realize what Im doing is not the right thing and is hella immature so I send her another email saying I'm sorry and out of respect for her I wont say anything else to him.
Then he sends me a message on IG asking to elaborate more and then told me she told him I owed her a lot of money... I asked how much and for what and he said $2k for bills when we first got together. Thats when I sent him an entire list of all bank transactions through our bank and Apple Pay. Just digital alone, $18.647.00 over the last six months plus another $12,460.00 in cash over the last eight months. Then I realized just how little better this made me feel. In fact I thought I would feel triumphant, and ready to move on and finally be over her and start to heal. Knowing full damn and well keeping her around and helping her was keeping me from being able to heal and move on. I sent her another message telling her I was taking the last part of her birthday gift to her apartment and leaving it in the ottoman outside her door and that because I had already accounted for and mentally prepared for giving her money in July that I still would then I blocked and removed her from IG and anything else that would open up an avenue for contact.
Here we are. Starting NC again... a year and a half after we broke up all because I thought I needed the answers to what I didn't want to find out or know. And that yet again, my gut has yet to lie to me in regards to relationships. What is wrong with me? Why even after all of this do I still want her in my life and want her back? If she called me tomorrow needing help I'd probably still do it. How do I fix myself? I've gotten an entire new wardrobe, an entire home gym so I quit blaming my depression for why I didn't go to the gym, and have tried really hard to focus on myself yet I know deep down everything I'm doing, I'm still doing for hopes of her. I lied to myself and clouded my own gut and mind to listen to my heart when I knew what I already knew yet still felt the need to confirm it.
Its not worth it. IT. IS.NOT. WORTH. IT. Keep that door closed if you don't want to know whats on the other side. Don't open that book if you don't want to see whats written on that last page. If your gut is telling you something, its probably right. Listen to it. When your friends and family are telling you the same thing your gut is telling you, listen to them. Even if its killing you, even if its the last thing you want to do, even if its going to break your heart again and reopen any wounds for you to bleed out again it has to be done. Don't be like me. Don't prolong your suffering for a year and a half for hope that you know isn't going to shake out in your way regardless of what the other person might be telling you.
submitted by G00DKlDMAADCITY to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
Let’s start at the beginning. I wasn’t a good husband... hell I probably wasn't even a good person. I was selfish, inattentive to her needs, hid a painkiller addiction for many years and a copious amount of other issues. I wasn’t perfect though neither was she. We were happy though and together for a decade. I’ll preface this by saying that I’m the most non-jealous person in the world. I don’t care what you do with your friends, where you do it, and when as long as your honest. For example let’s say one of her friends invited her to go out of town or to do something for a weekend, it was like “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go out of town with insert name here” and vice versa for me “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go hunting with insert name here”. All that being said, again, not jealous AT ALL, but after the divorce and subsequent relationship I think my trust with SO coworkers is irreparably damaged.
His name was Joe, I heard through some of her other coworker friends he had a crush on my wife. Whatever, she got cheated on with her first love and couldn’t even watch movies or shows where someone cheats it would make her so angry. So I never thought twice about her going out with her coworkers. Now again, let me say I was not a good husband towards the end, and it took a long time and a lot of hurt and anger had to be let go to where I finally realized that I don’t fault her for finding solace in the arms of another, because she was a damn good wife, a damn good mother, and an even better person. And she deserved better. I relapsed after an incredibly awful start to 2018. I went and stayed at my moms and had to go over to the house to get some things. Her and my daughter were gone somewhere but her Apple Watch was there. My gut told me what I already knew, and what I knew was that I shouldn't look through it knowing what I would find. What did I find? That she was filing for divorce the next week and plenty of messages to Joe. I knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up together. Can you guess what happened? I had a decent amount of money saved up so I took a sabbatical from work that ended extending to almost two years
December 2018, Christmas morning. I had a plan, it was foolproof. I was going to facetime my daughter in the morning to tell her how much I loved her and missed her and had a very merry Christmas... and then I was going to go in my backyard and blow my brains out. So thats what I did. I called her, talked to her as best you can to a three year old in the midst of a post present high with her cousins there too. Then I walked out in my backyard with my favorite rifle and sat there. And sat there. And sat there. For six hours. I cried, I wept... I wept for me, for my kid who was going to grow up without her daddy. I wept for my ex-wife who was going to have to explain to my daughter why she wouldn't be able to see her daddy again. I wept for my family and the pain I was about to cause them I begged and screamed to God. That if they were real and I was meant for things in this life that they would show me a fucking sign. Show me ANYTHING that would show me whether this drastic choice would be the right one... or the wrong. For six hours in the freezing cold. Never did get an answer that I could recognize as one. But the thought of my kid calling the person my wife had AT LEAST an emotional affair with, "Dad" made me sick... and made me want to live.
I decided to check into rehab, not for drugs, but so I didn't kill myself. Ive always kind of been a natural leader. I don't know why or what it is about me but people tend to flock towards me and have really either one or two reactions. They either really like me, or they really fucking hate me. Here though everyone really liked me and I was put in charge of running the meetings held there and trying to keep morale of the folks there. And it was a great fucking time. It was a month vacation in a really nice area of the state, I didn't have a phone, only my guitar and the resolve to work through my emotions in a safe place the best way I know how, by writing songs about it. Which is exactly what I did both in the classes, AA Meetings, out of class, didn't matter I was just knocking out song after song. I met a kid in there with a killer voice and a guy around my age who actually was the lead singesongwriter for a local band I was a fan of so it ended up being a really enjoyable experience.. The kid though... he got murdered last year from a drug deal gone wrong. Shot in a car and left to die in the parking lot. I think about him almost every day.
What did I learn? I learned that I shouldn't go looking for things I don't want to find, or ask questions that I really want the true answer to. Or so I thought.
I met K in December 2020 on Hinge. I wasn't sure I was really over my ex wife but then when we met it was love at first sight. And for a guy that didn't think he was ever going to love anyone again it was a major deal. She felt the same it seemed, though I now realize it was probably more of a trauma bond/rebound type situation. Things went really well for the honeymoon phase, it was like we couldn't get enough of each other. She was a cheer coach/art teacher, it was new, it was exciting, the sex was great.. she was great... She had some pretty serious insecurities and abandonment issues though. Her mom dropped her off with what ended up being her adoptive family only to come back a few years later and take her away for a few months, then bring her back and drop her off again. She self sabotages and destroys anything good in her life for fear or being hurt and left by someone again. And she only dated guys that controlled her, treated her like shit, stole from her, etc etc. She took xanax and ambien which when it would kick in at first it seemed she was still cognizant. One night when I was staying over there she had taken it and asked me to look something up in her phone. As soon as I open it I see a text to a coach at the school she taught at that was just really inappropriate shit that made me feel uncomfortable, especially since he was married. I asked her about it when she off work the next day and she just downplayed it as they are wont to do. I let it go but its something I thought of often, especially after it ended.
We moved in together in August of 21. I helped her get a job at a school over on my side of town so we got a really nice apartment close to her work and not far from mine. Thats when things started to change. I'll never forget we were laying in bed on a Friday afternoon, I was about to go pick up my kid. I rolled over towards her side and propped myself up and looked at her for a second and thought how lucky am I, and so thats what I said out loud to her. Its like she recoiled like she got bit by a snake, bolted out of bed and said I was being clingy and essentially ran out the door where she ended up back on the other side of town and had dinner with a gay guy friend. I really didn't know what to do or how to take it so when I picked my kid up I took her over to my moms house and we stayed there until K called and asked me to come home so we could talk. I left my kid with my mom and went over there and she apologized and reiterated how she feels in relationships, the fear of being left, how independent she had to be because of her upbringing and a few other things.
Not long after that she forwarded me an email, I'm not even sure what she meant to send me if she even meant it to send to me because I never got around to asking. It was an email thread with the coach where she said "guess what?", "What? You're gonna have my baby?" "No I got Covid!". I confronted her about it, told her how it made me feel, and while she never really responded to it in a way that made me worry I still strongly disliked it and let her know that. Not long after that as we were laying in bed I saw she was texting someone exceptionally long paragraphs, you know the type, the type when you're first talking to someone and are explaining things about yourself to them? I'll spare the long part but come to find out shes found a new coach to have what appears to be an emotional affair with. Though come to find out this one ended up being physical. She broke up with me in January 22. Told me while I showed her love in a way she didn't know was possible, and treated her in a way nobody had ever treated her before that I was too good for her and deserved better. I tried to change her mind, lord knows I tried, I was madly in love. My kid was in love with her. We talked about a future I never thought possible after my divorce.
I moved out of the apartment and back to my moms until I could find a place. We talked occasionally and I spent so much time reading this sub and others. Posts about how to get her back, how to make her miss me, what to do and what not to do. When my work sabbatical ended I got my old job back. Its a great job, ridiculously easy and the amount of work I actually do compared to my compensation should be illegal. She lost her cheer stipend when we moved back to my side of town since she didn't coach and since we got the apt together I knew what her funds looked like. We got that place because we could afford it together, alone I knew she was going to struggle. And I still wanted her back... what better way to show her that and try to manifest it by just being there for her when she needed me? Little did I know that would be the only time she asked me anything. Only when she needed help, or was having an anxiety attack and needed someone to talk her off the ledge and tell her everything was going to be okay. It was never her asking how I was doing, or my kid, or my dog, or what was going on in my life. Everyone told me what my gut had already told me but I lied to myself over and over. Not long after all this happened I found out she had been seeing the new coach at the new school though she still won't admit it even up to... checks notes today.
March 23 I get my first really big commission check I gave her 10k and we paid off her credit card, some other debt she had, some missed car payments and other bill help. Not long after that she tells me shes going to a cabin nearby where shes from with her sisters and nieces/nephews and asks me to watch her dog which I miss just as much as her so I do it. Mind you previous to this we went through a rough spot and she had blocked me on IG and never unblocked me. One of my cousins still followed her though, she hits me on snapchat saying "oh wow K looks amazing" I say "Oh yeah, does the cabin look nice?" She said "Cabin? Looks like shes at the beach" and sends me a screenshot of her IG post. I do my best FBI investigation and zoom in on her glasses, it appears to be a guy taking the picture based on the reflection from the frames and I kind of have an idea who I think it could be, come to find out, we'll call him JMJ also happens to be in Florida at the same time. So I call her out and tell her she needs to find someone to come get her dog and I'm done with her and her lies. She tells me "Oh my mom and dad are traveling across the country in their RV (WHICH THEY WERE) and so when you sent me that extra money after we paid the bills my sister and I decided to fly to Florida to spend some time with them on Spring Break"
She then breaks down and tells me how shes ruined the relationship with the last genuine person in her life and that when she gets back she'll get her dog and I'll never hear from her again. Master manipulator and while shes an amazing liar to someone who wants with every fiber of his being to believe him, is awful at hiding her lies. What do I do? Well I'm a fucking idiot so you can already imagine what I did. I begged her for once to just be honest with me. For once in our entire two years going back and forth that if she ever did truly love me or respect me for things I did for her that she would be honest. She told shes not dating anyone and doesn't have a boyfriend and that nothing has changed. I told her that even if she was seeing someone and told me about it I would help her out one last time only because I had committed to it. I told myself I was doing it for altruistic reasons, that because of all her issues that if I can do for her what I said I would do for her and that would help her out in her future relationships to show her that not everybody is it out to just fuck her and leave her, that when some people tell you they'll do something for you they mean it and she stops self sabotaging then I did my part.
A couple weeks ago was her 30th birthday. I see if she wants to grab dinner but she says one of her girl teacher friends is taking her to dinner in the galleria area. Check the guys IG story via an anonymous viewer and guess who happens to be at a restaurant in the galleria area? I don't even call her out because at this point Im making a plan. I get another rather large check in July and so we had previously talked about paying off the rest of her debt. She tells me shes going to her parents house for MDW and then that shes going out of town today with one of her old friends to New Orleans. This is when I realize just whats about to happen. Im about to have the answer to the question I thought I was dying to know the answer to. I told myself if he posts an IG story today where hes traveling, there is 0% chance that shes not with him. The first thing I see when I open IG is he posted a story... in Cancun. Then the next picture I see... her phone on the table next to him. Bingo. Send her an email saying "Hey I hope you have fun in Cancun!" and that was it. Almost immediately she texts me asking how I know and figured it out and I just saw red. I immediately opened up IG and sent him a message with texts, receipts, bank transfers, her telling me that she still loves me and we can go take a trip this summer, how many times shes asked me for money and help and the lies shes told me about him. She asks me to stop messaging him and I say that shes forever lost the option to ask ANYTHING of me but realize what Im doing is not the right thing and is hella immature so I send her another email saying I'm sorry and out of respect for her I wont say anything else to him.
Then he sends me a message on IG asking to elaborate more and then told me she told him I owed her a lot of money... I asked how much and for what and he said $2k for bills when we first got together. Thats when I sent him an entire list of all bank transactions through our bank and Apple Pay. Just digital alone, $18.647.00 over the last six months plus another $12,460.00 in cash over the last eight months. Then I realized just how little better this made me feel. In fact I thought I would feel triumphant, and ready to move on and finally be over her and start to heal. Knowing full damn and well keeping her around and helping her was keeping me from being able to heal and move on. I sent her another message telling her I was taking the last part of her birthday gift to her apartment and leaving it in the ottoman outside her door and that because I had already accounted for and mentally prepared for giving her money in July that I still would then I blocked and removed her from IG and anything else that would open up an avenue for contact.
Here we are. Starting NC again... a year and a half after we broke up all because I thought I needed the answers to what I didn't want to find out or know. And that yet again, my gut has yet to lie to me in regards to relationships. What is wrong with me? Why even after all of this do I still want her in my life and want her back? If she called me tomorrow needing help I'd probably still do it. How do I fix myself? I've gotten an entire new wardrobe, an entire home gym so I quit blaming my depression for why I didn't go to the gym, and have tried really hard to focus on myself yet I know deep down everything I'm doing, I'm still doing for hopes of her. I lied to myself and clouded my own gut and mind to listen to my heart when I knew what I already knew yet still felt the need to confirm it.
Its not worth it. IT. IS.NOT. WORTH. IT. Keep that door closed if you don't want to know whats on the other side. Don't open that book if you don't want to see whats written on that last page. If your gut is telling you something, its probably right. Listen to it. When your friends and family are telling you the same thing your gut is telling you, listen to them. Even if its killing you, even if its the last thing you want to do, even if its going to break your heart again and reopen any wounds for you to bleed out again it has to be done. Don't be like me. Don't prolong your suffering for a year and a half for hope that you know isn't going to shake out in your way regardless of what the other person might be telling you.
2023.05.29 23:06 Competitive-Let-2349 23[F4M]Anyone for sexting? i'll send first , if you don't believe try it yourself,i'm not like others in this subreddit hit me Snapchat:armaanali22928
submitted by Competitive-Let-2349 to krjrb [link] [comments]
2023.05.29 22:11 wanna_be_a_warrior i wanna do it, but should i?
So I feel like I'm ready to have sex, but I don't see myself getting into a relationship soon. I just turned 18, already tried sexting and stuff. It's cool and sometimes makes me really turned on. But sometimes in the middle of sexting the person stops texting for a minute or two, which isn't fun. Also sending videos and photos can be frustrating as I have to stop what I'm doing and take a photo or a video, which usually takes a few tries.
Do I try to sext with people from my country (I don't know if I'm able to sext as good in my native language as in English lol) to build trust? Or live video sex? Or just get on Tinder looking for friends with benefits?
Idk what to do. I also don't want to to be with a person I don't trust cos I wouldn't feel comfotable... Please tell me where to look/start? If you have anything to say please comment (like even telling me to wait cos I just need somebody's opinion on this).
PS: if someone wants to sext via Snapchat for then DM me cos I'm pretty bored (I don't feel like sending any live photos/videos tho, but I have a few on Snapchat if you want. I'm a switch and getting into BDSM.
submitted by wanna_be_a_warrior to actuallesbians [link] [comments]
Do I try to sext with people from my country (I don't know if I'm able to sext as good in my native language as in English lol) to build trust? Or live video sex? Or just get on Tinder looking for friends with benefits?
Idk what to do. I also don't want to to be with a person I don't trust cos I wouldn't feel comfotable... Please tell me where to look/start? If you have anything to say please comment (like even telling me to wait cos I just need somebody's opinion on this).
PS: if someone wants to sext via Snapchat for then DM me cos I'm pretty bored (I don't feel like sending any live photos/videos tho, but I have a few on Snapchat if you want. I'm a switch and getting into BDSM.
2023.05.29 20:03 Big_Mathematician131 Lost and Confused (I think I know what needs to happen but can’t shake myself out of this rut)
LS- Wife admitted in March to have an EA with AP. Only had lunch dates multiple times. Couldn’t get over the lie as I had found a condom in her purse. She claimed she didn’t know how it got there. Flash forward a few weeks and I keep having dreams telling me to press for more info. Finally got the truth that they slept together 8-10-12 times sometime around there but no more than 15. Most recent was in February of this year.
We have two kids, been together 11/married 5.
I’m trying to reconcile and she’s doing the right things, says I can check her phone so I do and see texts with her and a friend about how she’s sorry that I’m having trouble coping mentally but she has work during the day and can’t always be there for support and basically I need to get over it. (She works from home and I manage a 9 million dollar store with 13 employees) overall I’ve done a really good job at handling it and showing her more grace than she deserves. She doesn’t like me going back and forth on what I want and I get that but I also don’t know what I want and feel super lost at times. Definitely some hysterical bonding. I do love her but I don’t know that I’m in love with her after this.
Then seeing her friend tell her that I’m emotionally abusing her by not being able to be consistent with what I want and my wife saying she didn’t understand why it’s so hard to get over. It’s just sex.
Do they really buy that bullshit? If the tables were turned she admitted she’d likely have my stuff thrown out on front lawn waiting for me to come home but for me I’m just supposed to be ok with my wife sharing herself with another man over 10 times? Fucking in the back of his work truck like a slut and just go oh well. It was just sex and lunch and Snapchat and sexting??
What is wrong with people?
It just shows me that she’s not fully understanding of what she did and views marriage as nothing important.
Any thoughts? I’m trying to hang on but it’s difficult.
submitted by Big_Mathematician131 to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]
We have two kids, been together 11/married 5.
I’m trying to reconcile and she’s doing the right things, says I can check her phone so I do and see texts with her and a friend about how she’s sorry that I’m having trouble coping mentally but she has work during the day and can’t always be there for support and basically I need to get over it. (She works from home and I manage a 9 million dollar store with 13 employees) overall I’ve done a really good job at handling it and showing her more grace than she deserves. She doesn’t like me going back and forth on what I want and I get that but I also don’t know what I want and feel super lost at times. Definitely some hysterical bonding. I do love her but I don’t know that I’m in love with her after this.
Then seeing her friend tell her that I’m emotionally abusing her by not being able to be consistent with what I want and my wife saying she didn’t understand why it’s so hard to get over. It’s just sex.
Do they really buy that bullshit? If the tables were turned she admitted she’d likely have my stuff thrown out on front lawn waiting for me to come home but for me I’m just supposed to be ok with my wife sharing herself with another man over 10 times? Fucking in the back of his work truck like a slut and just go oh well. It was just sex and lunch and Snapchat and sexting??
What is wrong with people?
It just shows me that she’s not fully understanding of what she did and views marriage as nothing important.
Any thoughts? I’m trying to hang on but it’s difficult.
2023.05.29 19:12 just_mee_x_x Is it a red flag?
So I have an ex who I was with pre t who’s cis and identifies as straight. At the time I was with him I was identifying as gender-fluid when I was still discovering my gender identity and told him I wanted to start t. He had said if I transitioned he’d still love me and be into me even tho I’d be a man. That I was the exception for him. He was always very supportive of that. (For context I didn’t start t until a year after I broke up with him, so he wasn’t there for when I got on t)
Anyway We got back in touch a few months ago after two years of no contact and he is still very attracted to me even after me being 1 year on t. I wouldn’t say I pass as your average cis man but I do pass pretty well when dressed masc or at least look more on the ambiguous/androgynous side now. I have a much more masculine built and deeper voice.
he and I have amazing sexual chemistry. We flirt and we kinda sext and send nudes sometimes and at first I told myself I wouldn’t do anything with a guy who claims to be straight while showing desire towards me because I find it to be invalidating to my gender and sexuality and wouldn’t want to disrespect myself like that but I basically made him the exception cux yeah he says he’s straight but because he genders me properly and is very open minded and constantly tells me how into me he is while using masculine terms for my body that I prefer, I over looked it and basically believed he does actually see me as a man.
But I told him the other day that I get a lil insecure about men who have a preference for women. And that cuz he’s straight and is basically only into women, I feel he’s only into me because I somewhat still resemble a women. I haven’t had top surgery yet and I can be hyper fem at times so I can still look give off women if I want to lol I told him I feel like if I was a cis man he wouldn’t have ever come on to me or even looked my way. I feel that once If I one day pass as an undeniable cis man and no longer give off soft cute boy/androgynous vibes he’ll loose all attraction towards me.
I told him all that right? And idk why I was kinda expecting him to maybe prove me wrong and say somthing like nah I’d still be Into you. No, he said “oh well I’d still see you as a very great friend, plus you’re very attractive either way so try not to worry about that so much, but I know how you feel cause I get insecure too somtimes” and that shit kinda hurt not gonna lie lol
Cuz to me it sounds like he’s confirming that he will loose attraction towards me once I look like a man, it feel like he confirmed that he does see me as a women or only finds me appealing so long as I look like a women but is still down to keep me as a friend once he done having his fun or the time runs out and I turn ugly in his eyes. And him adding that stuff afterwards just feels like him tryna do some emotional damage control lol
I feel so stupid to have put some faith Into a straight guy again after making it a self rule to never fuck with another straight man ever again. It kinda hurts Especially cuz it’s him, everything he’s said to me. That’s why I slowly started to show him more and more of what I like to call my “new my body”. He made me feel like he really saw me as a man and was into me in a gay way and just maybe didn’t wanna admit to himself he was into a man?
Idk I feel kinda used. I regret sending pics of me topless. i regret letting him have that access to me and showing him such vulnerability. I feel so defeated and just frustrated that I can’t seem to find men that are actually gay and are Into me in a gay way.
Im debating if I should stop all sexual contact with him and keep it strictly platonic from now on.
Do you guys think Im being too sensitive? Would you guys also see it as a red flag? What would you do?
submitted by just_mee_x_x to gaytransguys [link] [comments]
Anyway We got back in touch a few months ago after two years of no contact and he is still very attracted to me even after me being 1 year on t. I wouldn’t say I pass as your average cis man but I do pass pretty well when dressed masc or at least look more on the ambiguous/androgynous side now. I have a much more masculine built and deeper voice.
he and I have amazing sexual chemistry. We flirt and we kinda sext and send nudes sometimes and at first I told myself I wouldn’t do anything with a guy who claims to be straight while showing desire towards me because I find it to be invalidating to my gender and sexuality and wouldn’t want to disrespect myself like that but I basically made him the exception cux yeah he says he’s straight but because he genders me properly and is very open minded and constantly tells me how into me he is while using masculine terms for my body that I prefer, I over looked it and basically believed he does actually see me as a man.
But I told him the other day that I get a lil insecure about men who have a preference for women. And that cuz he’s straight and is basically only into women, I feel he’s only into me because I somewhat still resemble a women. I haven’t had top surgery yet and I can be hyper fem at times so I can still look give off women if I want to lol I told him I feel like if I was a cis man he wouldn’t have ever come on to me or even looked my way. I feel that once If I one day pass as an undeniable cis man and no longer give off soft cute boy/androgynous vibes he’ll loose all attraction towards me.
I told him all that right? And idk why I was kinda expecting him to maybe prove me wrong and say somthing like nah I’d still be Into you. No, he said “oh well I’d still see you as a very great friend, plus you’re very attractive either way so try not to worry about that so much, but I know how you feel cause I get insecure too somtimes” and that shit kinda hurt not gonna lie lol
Cuz to me it sounds like he’s confirming that he will loose attraction towards me once I look like a man, it feel like he confirmed that he does see me as a women or only finds me appealing so long as I look like a women but is still down to keep me as a friend once he done having his fun or the time runs out and I turn ugly in his eyes. And him adding that stuff afterwards just feels like him tryna do some emotional damage control lol
I feel so stupid to have put some faith Into a straight guy again after making it a self rule to never fuck with another straight man ever again. It kinda hurts Especially cuz it’s him, everything he’s said to me. That’s why I slowly started to show him more and more of what I like to call my “new my body”. He made me feel like he really saw me as a man and was into me in a gay way and just maybe didn’t wanna admit to himself he was into a man?
Idk I feel kinda used. I regret sending pics of me topless. i regret letting him have that access to me and showing him such vulnerability. I feel so defeated and just frustrated that I can’t seem to find men that are actually gay and are Into me in a gay way.
Im debating if I should stop all sexual contact with him and keep it strictly platonic from now on.
Do you guys think Im being too sensitive? Would you guys also see it as a red flag? What would you do?
2023.05.29 17:30 TinaMicheala Our Price List
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submitted by TinaMicheala to u/TinaMicheala [link] [comments]
$10 - 1 Vid
$10 - 5 Pics
$20 - 15 Pics
$30 - 25 Pics & 1 Vid
$50 - All Videos
$60 - All Pics & Videos (Sasha & I)
$200 - Snapchat Premium (Lifetime Access)
SPECIAL: $150 - Snapchat Premium (First 10 Buyers Only!)
Comes With: - All My Content - All My Sisters Content - All My Girlfriends Content - Bonus Album Of Pictures & Videos - All Future Content For Free For Life! (Pics/Vids/Liveshows) - Roleplay & Sexting - Chatting & Constant Communication